journal of wood

Where are you and where are you going?
wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

The (new) apartment
Not new to me anymore and I'm getting really comfortable. It has everything I need, even some extras (+1 bedroom), at way below market price. However the downstairs neighbours told me the news that the landlord is considering selling the house next year. So I might be forced to move. I'm not going to worry about it yet, but one possible solution would be to move into one of my rentals. I've considered selling one of them to free up some cash for investments abroad. Living in it will enable me to cash in the profit without paying tax. The biggest downside of moving is that I most likely won't have the 60 seconds walking distance to work anymore.

Investing in Kenya
My friend and former colleague, who also invested in Kenyan land, is now 90% sure he will move to Kenya in October this year. He's 46. I'm pretty excited about the whole thing because we talk alot. What he is doing is close to what I'm planning as well. I'm sure he will get involved in several businesses there and even provide investment opportunities for me. The way I see it, huge profits can be made if proper due diligence is done. I need to free up some cash for this. Cash will also be spent on developing the plots I purchased. I will probably need to set aside around $90k to set up 2 holiday homes. Getting bank loan will be difficult, but credit cards can be used if need be. From what I gather 100%+ profit can be made on this project over the span of 2-3 years.

I'm 32 today. They still ask me for ID. Yay!
Last edited by wood on Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

Human relations

Relating to the sugar daddies/sugar mommas thread (viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8851) and also relating to what 7w5 and Jason wrote above, I felt like typing down some thoughts.

We are good at measuring financial capital here. How do we measure social capital? What is social capital and what are the different things it can be used for?

I spend very little money on dating. I wonder if anything would change drastically had I spent considerably more? Until now the typical pattern has become dinner at my place, in which my fridge gets filled up for free and I take part in the cooking process. I learn more about cooking, eat for free and get to have sex. I enjoy some of the companionship, but not all. Sometimes the main goal is to do what I can to get laid. Other times I dont care if I get laid because the social interaction is desirable. I sometimes wonder what these women see in me. I've asked, and the most frequent answer is "charm".

Can "charm" be seen as social capital in this case? I always saw social capital as something along the lines of "people owing you a favour", which fits well with how I learned to network back in the day; "Offer something to someone, be of value to them".

7w5, you mentioned that young woman with whom we had a threesome with. She's coming again this summer. I've found myself flirting with her lately, but I have no desire for a threesome this time. She's definetely flirting back and leads an interesting life. She has a sugar daddy in her home country (Singapore) so she has a travelling budget. She spends her vacant months between studies travelling and sleeping around, thus low/no hotel expenses which means she can travel more. At some point she found herself in a fling with a photographer/artist and ended up being featured at some museum for an upclass art show. She just "goes with the flow", its pretty fascinating to observe. She definetely has some kind of social capital, but I have trouble defining it outside of "cute, intelligent & sexy". She's what I imagine a modern day hippie to be like, and it seems many in the young generation have similar lifestyles.
Last edited by wood on Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

7Wannabe5
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Re: journal of wood

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

"Charm is the art of getting the answer you wanted without even having to ask the question." It is certainly a valuable quality, talent or skill to possess and employ, and it is likely that you are capitalizing on it to some extent in your dating experience, as well as other social contexts. I am rather curious about how you manage to convince women to bring food over to your house to cook for you?

Your 3some friend actually sounds a lot like my young former housemate who was a girl-friend experience escort. She used a good portion of the proceeds from her sex-work to travel around camping at music events with a group of friends in the summer, and she was saving up to buy some land of her own. Cute, intelligent, sexy and "like a modern day hippie" would all apply. She was not at all like the stereotype. First guess at her job based on her appearance would be something like "Arts and Crafts instructor at Jewish Summer Camp."

Do you still describe yourself as polyamorous now that you are single? Do you think it would be easier or more difficult for a female to find a primary partner who would agree to polyamory?

wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

I am rather curious about how you manage to convince women to bring food over to your house to cook for you?
Maybe that's where the charm comes in. I jusk ask "How about we try your cooking next time" followed with "are there any ingredients you need me to buy?" and before I know it they are on my doorstep with some groceries and ready to cook. I also cook (using my own bought ingredients) so I guess it goes two-ways. The location of my apartment is very convenient for most, so it's natural to spend more time here.

I think I have polyamorous traits. It's easy for me to have feelings, be intimate and show love to more than one woman at a time. I'm not sure if it's an ideal permanent solution for me. It seems whatever arrangement one sets up, it can change fast. As in you quickly lose partners and find new ones. Sure it can be a rewarding lifestyle, but also seems abit stressful long term. I might want to settle down with one after a while, or I might want to remain single-ish. Maybe it's easier to know depending on the person you meet? Honestly I haven't yet met a woman who would be perfectly ok with both of us being poly. My ex almost fitted the bill but failed to fulfil contract. My 3some friend might fit the bill, but I don't consider her to be GF material because she lives too far away.
Do you think it would be easier or more difficult for a female to find a primary partner who would agree to polyamory?
Females in general, as opposed to males? I have a feeling it might be easier for males to find partners who would agree to polyamory. I have a global perspective.
1. I believe it is more widespread in different cultures where you will find men with many wifes, and therefore slightly more socially acceptable in general to be a man looking for several women.
2. In my experience, women seem better equipped emotionally to deal with a man who has several partners, than the other way around. I don't know why that is. Submissiveness? Emotional maturity?
3. Like you said, polyamory is a financially smart solution for women and maybe not so much for men. So women are maybe more willing, hence easier for men to find them.

Statistics might skew my opinion completely. I have no idea about how many males vs females consider themselves polyamorous. But I have a feeling you will find way more women than men, depending on how you define it.

Sugar daddies with sugar babies are very common in Kenya. Being a white male automatically puts you in the sugar daddy box. It would be very easy for me to find x number of girlfriends there who would all agree to polyamory. And I think it would be easier for me than for my white counterpart. But still possible for both. I don't think Kenya is the only 3rd world country you will find this.

7Wannabe5
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Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Gotcha on the "free" dinner play. I figured it was some variation on taking advantage of the feminine tendency which in another context results in multiple older women bringing gifts of casseroles to doorstep of recently bereaved widower. One thing I sometimes say is "I will NEVER be a casserole-toter." Of course, this is essentially no different than when a younger female offers up sex with semi-conscious "try before you buy" motivation. Obviously, some men play on this too. As always, self-aware is halfway there, and all is fair in love and war ;)

Although, I currently reside within biking distance of the hospital where I was born, my perspective is also global because my behavior is on the far-end of the general human tendency towards "out-breeding." IOW, I have always had limited sexual interest in "the boy next door." When I was 14, I used to hitch-hike with friends to the badder side of town, so I could roller-skate with leather-coated individuals with names like Rex and Ace. I have been in two relationships with men who grew up in African-American communities in the poorest sections of Detroit and scrabbled their way up to success through sports and art. I was in Islamic marriage contract with a man who grew up affluent in Tehran and was previously polygamous. I was the girlfriend of an affluent man who was born in 1941. I was engaged to a man who was second-generation Greek. I am currently dating a Republican. Etc. etc. etc.

I tend to agree with your analysis because the feeling I currently have is something like "I am not powerful enough to practice polyamory." Prior to my recent abandonment of lifetime practice of monogamy, the summer I was 21 was my most freely serial experience. I was reading some "hippie" feminist literature at the time, so I have a vivid memory of walking home barefoot at dawn, along city sidewalks, still wearing the little white dress I had put on to go out dancing the evening before, after spending the night with a sexy, cute, brainy Jewish boy with a mop of brown curls on his head and a tendency to whisper charming dirty words during the act, and thinking "I am a woman in her power."

Jason

Re: journal of wood

Post by Jason »

I think you would find more humility in Kanye West's diary than this thread. Not to mention you two are seriously grossing me the fuck out.

And Jacob, before you interrupt your monthly toothbrush rethreading and send me a notification or just say fuck it and Solzhenitsyn my ass, you have to agree on this somewhere, no?

wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

"monthly toothbrush rethreading", lol. You have anger issues dude. If everyone who's different from me grossed me out, I can't imagine this world to be a nice place to live in. Good luck Jason, and welcome back. This place just got steamy:p

Jason

Re: journal of wood

Post by Jason »

Wood, you are completely right and I apologize.

I'm admittedly jealous. I mean how can I not be? I'm just some poor schmuck living a pathetic, anonymous life in America, and here you are, the fucking Cary Grant of Uganda.

I have to think that you are used to this type of reaction by now and might even find it yourself to extend sympathy to the likes of me.

7Wannabe5
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Re: journal of wood

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

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Last edited by 7Wannabe5 on Fri Apr 21, 2017 12:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

Jason

Re: journal of wood

Post by Jason »

I was joking about being a poor schmuck.

That is, until I realized I actually spent time and effort trying to figure out what in the fuck you are trying to say.

wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

Jason wrote:
Wed Apr 19, 2017 4:47 pm
Wood, you are completely right and I apologize.

I'm admittedly jealous. I mean how can I not be? I'm just some poor schmuck living a pathetic, anonymous life in America, and here you are, the fucking Cary Grant of Uganda.

I have to think that you are used to this type of reaction by now and might even find it yourself to extend sympathy to the likes of me.
There is nothing much to be jealous about, nor grossed out by. I'm also just a poor schmuck trying to journal his schmuckness. Not trying to one-up or shock anyone. I aim to write about my own actions without fear of being judged. Its not easy for me to admit I'm aimlessly sleeping around and overspending, and at the same time judge my ex for her actions.

My goal is to locate personal patterns, learn, improve and stay accountable. If it sounds like I'm bragging I should improve the way I type. I'm just describing my life. I'm not used to sharing this much, but I feel like it helps me because I lost the one person I used to share everything with.

Reactions. I've had plenty.

My parents can't understand why we separated because I haven't told them in detail what's happened. They advice that I do my best in fixing the marriage. I had to withstand their resistance when I first told them I was getting married. My ex waited 18 months to get residency papers. We went through resistance from both family and society just to be able to live together. My parents like my ex very much, especially mum. If I tell them what happened, they will hate her. I care too much about my ex to have the balls to ruin their relations, and my relation to her. It feels unnecessary.

I did tell my coworkers what happened. It felt like too much of a failure to admit splitting up without having a somewhat valid reason, and I can't keep up a facade. They all have perfect families with kids (on the surface). They have a tendency to joke with the fact that I'm incapable of choosing a suitable life partner. They might be right. I try to just laugh back.

My few friends support me. I do tell them most everything. We live very different lives. One of my friends is an upper middle class politician living in a McMansion. He can't relate to my lifestyle although he finds it fascinating and we've known each other since age 7. Another is still single, still studying and still doesn't know what to do with his life at age 31 and will become an office rat soon (like me). In terms of "life accomplishments" I fall in between those two extremes. I have another friend my age who is a functional alcoholic with a full time job. Friend number 4 and 5 are current/ex work mates age 59 and 46, both previously betrayed and fucked over by women, and feeling like they haven't accomplished much in life (yet). What I like about my friends is that they are loyal and honest with me without trying to impose life wisdom shit from their moral high ground, like my parents and work mates occasionally do. But who knows, maybe I'd be better off with a different 5-set of friends?

I have received some name calling here and there from humans who know (parts of) my story. Cuckold. Weak. Naive. Jungle fever. Pig. I disregard them all. But you couldn't be more wrong in thinking I was used to reactions like admiration or jealousy :lol:

Jason

Re: journal of wood

Post by Jason »

As much as I am jealous of you Wood, what absolutely floors me is how you are the least self-absorbed individual I have ever met. Well, maybe with the exception 7wannabe5.

wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

Jason wrote:
Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:21 pm
As much as I am jealous of you Wood, what absolutely floors me is how you are the least self-absorbed individual I have ever met. (...)
I could say the same thing about you after reading your journal.

We could make this thread about you if you want. You express being jealous, grossed out and floored (!) which makes me wonder how you would react to more extreme events, like having your laptop run out of battery and discover you are wearing underwear from yesterday.

wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

April finances - back on track

- April is my birthday month and I was very lucky to get cash from parents and relatives which gave a boost to savings rate putting me at 62%.
- Food expenses came in a bit high as I'm building up a freezer storage, I'm hoping to average it out to around 2 000/month.
- Other costs need to be cut. Snus, alcohol, mobile phone, social stuff. A lot of this is related to the Human Relations part of my life and change is happening there, likely for a financial betterment.
- The total of costs this month (12k) is right where I want it to be in order to be on track to ERE in just a few years.

Rent 4 500,00
Adjustment rent -968,00
Internet 200,00
Electricity 686,04
Food & household items 3 198,50
Mobile phone 922,18
Transport 200,00
Health (meds & doctors) 0,00
Clothes, hair & hygiene 0,00
Furniture, interior, insurance, maintenance 0,00
Needs total 8 738,72
Projects, hobbies, training, multimedia 409,64
Social & cultural events 1 413,68
Work cafeteria 77,00
Snus 1 656,94
Wants total 3 557,26
Total spend 12 295,98

Salary before tax 38 716,70
Tax 10 398,00
Union, pension, work insurance 1 362,25
Paid salary 26 956,45
Odd jobs, yard sale etc. 0,00
Investments and accrued interest 500,00
Gifts 5 000,00
Total income 32 456,45
Savings rate 62 %

wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

The (new) apartment
My downstairs neighbour forgot to pay the electricity bill, doh! It ended up with electricity being shut off in the whole house. It's still not back on. I didn't have an immediate backup solution and some of my food is likely to spoil. Hoping this won't affect my finances too much. Good thing it's not winter anymore. I was not prepared for this event. Action steps for the immediate future:

- Locate some "reserve fridges and freezers". I know there are some at work I could use temporarily. I will also work on getting some neighbours as allies.
- Clean my fireplace and get some pieces of wood. Might come in handy if this happens during winter.
- Get reserve batteries for my head mounted flashlight.
- Smart solutions for backup electricity? Or maybe stick to solutions that don't require electricity at all?

Human relations
One dating relationship after the other have slowly faded in the last few weeks, mainly because I've developed what looks like a casual boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with a woman. The line was crossed when she gave me a birthday gift that I could see she put alot of thought behind. I'm fine with it. We see each other 2-3 times per week, and I'd like to keep it at that level. It's an open relationship until further notice. Yes, I feel inlove. It feels really good. At the same time I remain rational. I want to be/feel single for a while now and also avoid any drama. One good thing about reducing the quantity of women in my life is that expenses are likely to be cut (mobile phone, social&cultural events).

I've had my parents over for visits to see my new place and I've kept up with friends this month. An old friend of mine (the upper middle class politician) is coming this weekend.
Last edited by wood on Thu Jul 13, 2017 8:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

wood
Posts: 355
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Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

Summer holiday

I will be travelling to Kenya on Saturday for a 4 week stay. The tickets were purchased before the breakup so I'm flying together with the ex. Apart from the flights I won't be spending time with her. I'm really excited to see the land I've purchased and meet business people there in person. But what I'm most excited about is getting away from work and just laze on the beach all day. Be an extrovert when I want instead of being on a schedule.

I'm also planning to use this opportunity to quit snus. It will simply be out of reach for me and there's no way I'd replace that addiction with cigarettes or anything else. Day 1-3 will be tough. There's a good chance my flight will turn into a nightmare as my body gets desperate. I will struggle to sleep. I will over-eat, my blood sugar will be unstable and my temper will be partly out of control. But after that it will slowly subside. I'm trying to psyche myself up.

Eureka
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Re: journal of wood

Post by Eureka »

Safe travels and good luck with the snus project.

wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

I read the journals of other people on here and realize I'm pretty much a fuckup if measured by standards often used in this forum. But what can one do but to keep trying. Atleast I'm fairly happy and feel lucky in general. It could be worse.

I'm back from my holiday in Kenya. I failed to quit snus after I met some fellow countrymen who gave me snus in a moment of desperation. I also made the mistake of bringing a few just for the trip so that I wouldn't go in full rage mode on the airplane. That led me to re-use of old ones. I just couldn't let it go completely. My next step is going for a hypnosis session on Wednesday in an attempt to fix the problem. Apparently it has a high success rate for quitting cigarettes and this is pretty much the same thing.

The 2nd issue I have is spending way to much money on this holiday. I had budgeted 15k but spent 30k. This was mainly due to me being generous with people around me, excessive alcohol consumption and otherwise not being careful enough with my spending. Also, it took me about 3 weeks until I learned how to optimize my spending there. It's a very different place than home. I thought I had remembered most tricks, but no.

Other than that I had a really good time. I've cuddled with baby elephants, lazed on the beach, danced, eaten different food and met beautiful women. I've used every opportunity to build network with people and inspected the land I bought which looks like a very promising area.

Despite failing with the snus and overspending financially, I'm keeping a positive outlook. I have to.

wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood »

May finances - 2nd disaster this year

I've compressed money spent on holiday in June into the May month, making it easier for future references of holiday spending. Even if I didn't, the financial summary would still look horrible.

Rent 4 500,00
Adjustment rent 707,11
Internet 200,00
Electricity 686,00
Food & household items 1 216,15
Mobile phone 297,56
Transport 200,00
Health (meds & doctors) 520,00
Clothes, hair & hygiene 0,00
Furniture, interior, insurance, maintenance 0,00
Needs total 8 326,82
Projects, hobbies, training, multimedia 292,75
Social & cultural events 2 642,00
Work cafeteria 89,00
Snus 1 337,30
Holidays, airplanes & boats 30 962,98
Other 0,00
Gifts 100,00
Wants total 35 424,03
Total spend 43 750,85


Salary before tax 38 841,70
Tax 10 438,00
Union, pension, work insurance 1 366,13
Paid salary 27 037,57
Odd jobs, yard sale etc. 0,00
Debt repayment 0,00
Investments and accrued interest 500,00
Gifts 0,00
Total income 27 537,57
Savings rate -59 %

I know.

bryan
Posts: 1061
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 2:01 am
Location: mostly Bay Area

Re: journal of wood

Post by bryan »

> snus

Never heard of it. Thanks for my daily internet diversion.

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