Rossox Journal (From France)

Where are you and where are you going?
Kriegsspiel
Posts: 952
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2012 9:05 pm

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by Kriegsspiel »

Try this one: join a sports league where you play team sports. Then act like everyone on the team is ready to be your friend. Relax and smile a lot, even if you have to fake it. Read How To Win Friends And Influence People.

DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by DutchGirl »

I'm so sorry to read that, Rossox! I agree with Kriegsspiel about joining a group sport and seeing whether you can have fun that way.

You can also find positive, happy people at volunteer opportunities. I have. People who are volunteering for something are often happy to do so and will be happy that you join them and want to help, too. I can imagine like organizing a coffee meeting for the elderly, or organizing free walking tours in your area for tourists, or cleaning a piece of nature together, or working for a food bank, or helping someone learn French. I don't know what kinds of things they do in France. Perhaps there is something that you like to do and where they need volunteers for. (But make it a thing where you'll meet others, not "balancing the books" or "fixing the computer", because those are often tasks that you do alone).

I hope you'll feel better soon. Internet hugs...

Rossox
Posts: 38
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:52 pm
Location: Annecy, France

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by Rossox »

Yes, i will try to start climbing in a sportclub in September.. But for this moment, i'm really not in a good mood.
I have a lot of anxiety attack, maybe because of this girl, we made a camping yesterday with some of his friends but i really fucked up according to her, and she doesn't want to be my sexfriend anymore... it hurts. A lot.

I am looking forward to my holidays, i will do a 'tour de France' with my car, it will change my mind, i need that at this moment.

DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by DutchGirl »

I was afraid your period of sadness had something to do with "l'amour" . It sure hurts sometime. It passes, but it's hard to believe that when you're in the middle of such a bad funk. Hopefully your trip will indeed boost your mood. Lots of very nice things to see and do in your beautiful country.

wolf
Posts: 1102
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:09 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by wolf »

Yeah, sorry to hear about your feelings of loneliness. For sure a part of it comes from that girl. But come on, don't get sad. You have so much more to offer. You can be proud of the things you do. She is just another person who has different views. There's no need to get sad. If it was a long-term partnership, ok, I would say something different. Well, I hope I understand that correctly. Take care of yourself. Life goes on and you will get stronger after you get over with it.

Loneliness is a bad feeling. I am no expert in suggesting or recommending something. What I tried to do over the years is to prepare for such times in advance, proactively. By that I mean, that I read books about it. I tried to live in peace with myself. Buddhism also helped me a lot. I guess, everybody gets lonely once (or several times) in a lifetime. Try to be active. Go out into nature. Doing a "tour de France" sounds just right. Have fun and concentrate on the positive things in your life, Rossox!

Rossox
Posts: 38
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:52 pm
Location: Annecy, France

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by Rossox »

Thank you for your support. I'm trying to be in a better mood, but it's hard

Rossox
Posts: 38
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:52 pm
Location: Annecy, France

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by Rossox »

People are strange... i spoke with the girl Tuesday to explain the situation with her, and we concluded to stay friends. But 2 days after that, she didn't speack to me anymore at work, and i asked her if she made me mouth, and she says " You break my balls, leave me" .. and no news since. She blocked me on instagram... maybe it's because she's young... i can't explain it...and to say that I was kind to her, that I comforted her when she was crying because of her ex, people are so selfish

DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by DutchGirl »

Years ago I tried to stay friends with my ex-boyfriend. Of course, the situation is a bit different because at one point we actually officially were girl- and boyfriend. However, after I broke up with him (because I didn't love him anymore, because we weren't a good match for life), I tried to stay friends. What happened is that every time we met, I saw hope in his eyes (and in his words and in his actions) that I would become his girlfriend again. That was not my intention. My intention was literally to stay friends. But I saw that A. that was not wat my ex really wanted and B. continuing to meet him and "be friends" kept him from moving on. So I said to him that I didn't want to be friends anymore. (Even when I still thought he was a decent guy; and even when I would have loved to stay his friend).

Maybe something like this is what is happening here as well. Or maybe she has other complicated emotions where it is too hard for her to actually be friends in real life, even though she wanted to stay friends in the beginning. Sometimes you have a certain intention, but ultimately you find out you can't do it for some reason or another.

For you I would say: try to move on. But I know it is really hard for a while, and that it can take quite some time before you feel "the old you" again.

How has summer been in your part of Europe? Too hot? Too dry? Or quite okay? Are you still biking to work, and able to do so with this weather?
Any developments with trying a (new) hobby or sport?

Rossox
Posts: 38
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:52 pm
Location: Annecy, France

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by Rossox »

Cheers for your kindness, i'll try to grow and to be in a better mind, but it's difficult.

Here it's too hot in Annecy, and yes i'm still going to work by bike when i can !
But my teammate in job is in holiday, so i have a lot of hours to keep my sector clean in the shop. I stayed to my moter's flat during 6 days last week, so i didn't use my car to go to work (2 minutes by walk).
Concerning a new hobby or sport, nothing to say... i'm waiting for the climbing inscription in September.

Rossox
Posts: 38
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:52 pm
Location: Annecy, France

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by Rossox »

August Update :

Salary
: 1809€

-Expense-

Rent and Mortgage
: 200€

Works in my appartment
: 0€

Food and household products : 128.91€

Unexpected
: 0€

Car mortgage : 100€ (My mother borrow me 1000€ to buy a car, and i have to give it back this money). 200€ Left.

Car insurance : 40.23€

Gasoline : 50€

Holiday : 0€

Alcohol :42.22€

Internet and phone : 5.65€ (phone) + 15€ (Internet)

Electricity and water in my flat : 14.75€.

Hobbies : 152.5€ ( Need to do some activities because i wasn't good emotionally..)

TOTAL EXPENSES : 749.26€ I'm in again.

I saved 500€ on my saving account (to pay my tax on my revenue at the end of the year, approx 1000€ this year, and my property tax, approximatively 400€ at the end of the year too..)

I invest 499.41€ in my World ETF this month. My portfolio up by 1.92% this month, at 41233€.


I bike for only 140 km to go to work this month, so i saved 27.41€ in gasoline and maintenance... (I stayed a lot to my mother's flat cause she was on holiday)

Personal
: I was during 16 days on the road in France in September to see friends and discover new part of my country, i used a lot of gasoline, but fuck it, it was so good ! Expense will be high this September and i didin't invest but i don't care, holiday is holiday, i will start again in October ! :)

And i started to go to a gym to start musculation 3 or 4 times a week... it will cost me a little in money (approx 30€/month) bit but i'm sure it will be good for my mental health and for my body !

I'm begin the personnal development too, it's so instructive... ! I'm in a much better emontionnal mood than one month ago..

wolf
Posts: 1102
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:09 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by wolf »

Great to hear Rossox, that you are feeling better emotionally!

What kind of hobbies did you do? Besides biking. Or does that count as transportation. Or like vacation, regarding the scenery? ;-)

When I think of biking (to work) I relate that more to transportation rather than hobbies/sports. It has a win-win-effect, or maybe win-win-win. It feels good, you save money, and you do something for your health, etc.

DutchGirl
Posts: 1646
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 1:49 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by DutchGirl »

I'm also glad to hear that you're feeling better! You made some good choices, so well done and keep it up!

I read in a Dutch newspaper a few days ago that in France you only pay your taxes after the year has ended. Is that correct? And that the politicians now want to change that to paying a bit of tax every paycheck, like in the Netherlands and like in the US and many other countries, but that they are afraid that there will be a new revolution in France if people suddenly see their paychecks become smaller (even though in the end the amount of taxes that you pay on average / in a year will be the same).

Anyway, enjoy yourself and keep up the good work.

User avatar
Jean
Posts: 1891
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2013 8:49 am
Location: Switzterland

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by Jean »

What about we (rossox, wolf and me) organise an ERE hike somewhere between Savoie and Allgäu?

Rossox
Posts: 38
Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:52 pm
Location: Annecy, France

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by Rossox »

wolf wrote:
Wed Sep 19, 2018 12:01 pm
Great to hear Rossox, that you are feeling better emotionally!

What kind of hobbies did you do? Besides biking. Or does that count as transportation. Or like vacation, regarding the scenery? ;-)

When I think of biking (to work) I relate that more to transportation rather than hobbies/sports. It has a win-win-effect, or maybe win-win-win. It feels good, you save money, and you do something for your health, etc.
Hobbies was sport activities with friends, some restaurants etc.. :) I begin fitness and musculation today in a gym ! :)

Dutchgirl : Thank you :)

Yes that's exactly that, i don't think it will have a new revolution, but the psychological impact will be there effectively, either if it's exactly the same ! (You pay exactly the same thing, but rather than save it every month to pay your taxes at the end of the year, you pay it now). The problem is they don't know ( the government) if computer will be ok to support this new treatment.. maybe a big BUG in a few months ? We'll see !

Jean : Why not ! I'm in !

Starman
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Aug 10, 2020 3:08 pm
Location: France

Re: Rossox Journal (From France)

Post by Starman »

Hi Rossox, how have you been since 2018?
Are you still in Annecy? It's a wonderful place! I like Savoie a lot too, even if I don't live there.
Hope you're fine and that your ERE journey is going well.

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