A family father's path through life

Where are you and where are you going?
prognastat
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by prognastat »

Sorry to hear this, I hope it goes well in January.

Frugalchicos
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Frugalchicos »

Sorry to hear that, all the best and keep it strong

Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

My nature is to exhaust something when get engaged in it.

I am doing a task, I focus on it and need to keep going until I finish it.. it's happened once and again with almost everything (books, problem solving, hobbies..).

It's a problem because my brain keeps thinking about it and can't focus properly on the rest of the tasks..

Is that something I can change?

I try to put a stop when time comes to do another thing but.. should I? Or should I better try to adapt my schedule to my nature?

Or as always, a bit of each?

What will make me happier in the long term?

:?:

P.S: Thank you all

daylen
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Location: Lawrence, KS

Re: A family father's path through life

Post by daylen »

Family father wrote:
Wed Jan 02, 2019 4:16 pm
Is that something I can change?
Or as always, a bit of each?
Yes and yes.

Family father
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Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 10:59 am

Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

It's been a difficult second semester..

I don't have the energy to keep up with the weekly tracking I started this year.. maybe I'll try again in the future.

Anyway, I still want to keep the path :)

Savings rate:
2016 - 53% (aprox)
2017 - 37% (not perfect, but more acurate)
2018 - 38%

WR:
2015 - 51% (aprox)
2016 - 49%
2017 - 40%
2018 - 31%

Personal (not family) objectives for 2018

Financials:
-Reshape tracking sheet to make it simpler and more acurate in the main numbers Done
-Routinely track expenses weekly to improve data quality Done
-Zero spending in clothing Done
-Reduce transportation costs to job Done
- Stop eating out alone (work lunch) Improved, but must keep improving..
- Decide about investing vs landlording (inflation effects, real costs/profits of index investing in spain, when/what to do when the market is hot?...) Done.. maybe more re-thinking this year

DIY:
-Learn to patch socks Done, but it lacked continuity
-Make a piece of furniture w/older son failed: I don't have the tools, and didn't find a workshop where I could go.. I'd still do something in the way..
-Learn to cook more take away meals Done

Mind/Health:
-Exercise once (ideally twice) a week Improved, but must keep improving..
- Read more books-thinking stuff and less junk-news (with smartphones and Internet (and children :_) I've dropped from more than 50 books per year to almost none!!!) Improved, but must keep improving..
- Allocate time to think and write something every 2 or 3 days (thoughts, messages for my kids in the future...) failed
- Reduce eating of processed food So-so..

Recap:

I imrpved in general in many areas, although since DW illness I just tried to survive...

In 2019 I'll try to focus in improving some habits:

Sleep, Exercice & Eat.

I'd like to catch any oportunities I can get to practice DIY, and specially with older sons.

I don't know about meditating or so, but I'd like to read less junk/news, stay present and if it comes to that, write.

We'll see!

PS: DW already finished chemo and just had the surgery.. everything is ok so far :D
PPS: Unfortunately, cancer has come to our live to stay: it is part of the landscape now and we'll need to learn to live with that
PPPS: Still, we are so SO fortunate! Never forget that!!!

prognastat
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by prognastat »

Well glad to hear the surgery went well. Hopefully she remains in complete remission.

Sounds like you made some progress to your goals, but there is still improvement to be done. Understandable with having a rocky year though. Here's to 2019 being a better year.

Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

Thanks @Prognastat.

Finance data from 2018:

House related expenses (including supplies, taxes and mortage) were 15% of expenses (mortage cost is well below renting due to super-low interest rates).

Food 17%

Home misc. ( clothing, hairdresser, home cleaning..) 13%

Health expenses 5%

Entertainment (includes presents, restaurants, and parents sport and education) 3%

Education and childcare: 35% and will grow next year (baby was born in march)

Car / transportation 11% (more than half due to work commuting, rest is owning a car..)

Analisys

We've been lucky and earn well above average, but this situation may change any moment, so we'll just milk the cow as far as we can..

We feel very confortable with education choices made, so no remorse there. Should circumstances (earnings) change, we should re-think them..

Car expenses are what they are: I need car to work, and most of the expenses are due to daily commute. However, as a family we use the car some times so I'm not sure we would get rid of it if I didn't need it to work: it would require major adjustments in our life.

We surely can improve in every other area, but every small win will need to be worked through, so small progress will be made unless we suddenly have a lot of extra time.. :?

By the way, I'll try to explore some of them: maybe tracking electricity consumption and explore some DIY.. we'll see

Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

I compared today our expenses against "average household" in my region...

Our housing, entertainment and transportation expenses are just about the average (entertainment is lower and transportation higher due to commuting).

Our food expenses double the average, while we have the "house help" extra.. all in all, we double the living expenses, but then.. we are a family of 6 while the "average" seems to be 2,5 :)

And then.. education expenses are in the order of 36 times the average.. :lol: :lol: :lol:

I (we) feel very comfortable with the decissions that separate us from the average household.

On the other side, I think keeping our expenses in the average household level for everything else is the result of last years' tracking, adjusting and learning.

While the result is nothing extraordinary (not in this forum, and not in a country where a lot of families live well below our level) it is not a bad result for such a big family by "average household standard". 8-)

Fun fact: if we didn't have education expenses.. we would be below Jacob's standard per capita (and if my grandma had weels, she would be a bike) :lol:

Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

Handmade soap

I've been searching for DIY things I could do with my kids, and I came across soap..

For one, we make a lot of washing machines through the week, so I checked how much soap we used:

We make about 600-700 washing machines per year, and soap is about 3,59 € per 40 washing machines, so it makes about 53-62 € per year for a household of 6 people....

Does it make sense? :?:

prognastat
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by prognastat »

Well the question is how much would the ingredients cost you and how long would it take to make one large batch to cover that amount of washing? Then you can calculate how much your are earning per hour of effort to compare it with other things you could be doing in that time.

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jennypenny
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by jennypenny »

I always let my kids pick what they wanted to DIY to help out financially. I actually found out a lot about them that way. For example, one loves cooking, one handles the laundry, and one learned to repair anything. In the end, I found it worked out better than me imposing DIY jobs on them.

Stahlmann
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Stahlmann »

Family father wrote:
Mon Mar 11, 2019 4:54 pm
...
you could just do it once to extend your skills or just a way to spend your time

Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

@Prognastat: yep this approach is a no go and then, @Stahlmann just describes what would be my interest on it...

I also like @Jp's approach to this.. thanks for sharing!

I also wanted to write, as a reminder to myself, this post from @Suo...

I felt just like in a midlife crisis this last weeks...

Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

DW finished radiotherapy this week: she's clean!!!

It is great she could overcome this first matchball, I feel so grateful!!

OTOH cancer has come into our lives, and due to cancer reappearing chances it seems it will stay with us.. we'll need to learn to live with that.

I knew today a teacher I had just passed away.. life sucks!

There's a sentence that makes me think about him (althought I think he nevere said it) we (DW and I) must learn to live by: Live your live as if it was the last one on earth, but behave as if you were going to live forever.

We do the behave part, but need to learn to "flow" more..

Lately I feel I've lost control of my life: just try to pass everyday the best I can...

I just don't have the energy/time/willpower to stay ahead..

I need to recover the reigns of my life.

Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

I had some waiting time today and took the Myers Briggs: INTJ, althought I/E is almost equal and J/P also very close.

Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

My brain is always solving problems..

I just pick one future worry and start thinking about it..

I need to learn to stay with the task at hand: 100% on it.

And to do it I need to learn to stop my mind.

Easier said than done: it may be the problem my brain will try to solve when I go to sleep..


Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

Changing a car wheel is not complicated nor difficult, but it's much more difficult to do while the car is running..

And there's where I am now: still trying to put my pieces together again after what we've been through while keeping the family running..

I'm just doing my part: DW is fortunately recovered and also doing her part while putting her own pieces together (after what she has been and is still going through).. did I ever say how much I admire and love her? :oops:

On the financial part of everything:

1- We have a small amount passively invested in etfs + bonds (90-10) and I just got messages suggesting to reduce exposure...

2- The only thing I've learnt so far about finances is not to try to time the market

3- So I'm not doing nothing :lol:

Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

Interesting discussions about real state:

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=10814

And stocks:

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=10765

As long time investing.

Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father »

Next step: develope routine

I remember reading about Benjamin Franklin's routine somewhere in the forum, and after reading Wolf's journal I've decided to try to develope a routine that works for "me and my circumstances". :idea:

I found this article and thought it is as good a start as anything, so we'll see where it takes me.. :?:

So far, it must adapt to the family and kids schedule (quite different depending on the day of the week), allow for some time to exercice, maybe meditate, reading-thinking-writing :!: , enough sleep :lol: , and be flexible enough to survive :(

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