A family father's path through life

Where are you and where are you going?
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Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father » Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:08 pm

Of course I'm not going Talmudic on that!!

I accepted and thanked the pants: it's the conversation about the criteria what will continue! :D

Jason
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Jason » Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:17 pm

Oh, gotcha. Although staking an argument about who wears the pants on what pants you will be wearing has to be appreciated for the sheer irony.

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Family father
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father » Tue Feb 13, 2018 4:19 pm

Sure :D

PS: you seem to have very fine taste about music ;)

Jason
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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Jason » Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:12 pm

For a person like myself who only enjoys the finer things in life, ABBA is essential.

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Re: A family father's path through life

Post by Family father » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:54 am

I've run for the first time a forecast of our SWR.

They are just rough numbers, so no great conclussions may be derived yet, but still the first numbers arised a few facts to think upon:

As I could easily suppose, chances are that I won't be able to retire early.... :oops:

Having (soon) four kids, my younger one will be just out of college by the ordinary retirement age, and since education is the biggest expense (aprox 27% of expenses) and food the second (aprox 15%), and they are expected to increase the following years (+1 kid in school, +1 mouth to feed and children growing :)) ... :?

Surely numbers will improve as we keep advancing in the expense reduction path (my engagement with ERE and this forum's philosophy is based more due to the values and how we think/act than to the fact of being FI or able to ER), but after two years tracking I feel comfortable that the decissions we make about the biggest expenses strongly correlate with our values, and thus I don't see them changing unless the statu-quo varies.

Projections show that in best scenarios I (we) could retire in that time frame where to retire early means you must resign to significant retirement benefits :cry: although who knows wich will those benefits be in twenty-some years :?:

Those scenarios show my wife and I dying by the end of our accumulation phase, and this is a fact I must reflext upon (how would this fact change the decissions we have to make in the future years?)

Another interesting outcome of these projections is that in not so good scenarios (nothing terrible, but not lucky ones) the retirement age doesn't change substantially (the NW at the end does change significantly) but we don't fall into bankrupcy (obviously some adjustments would be necessary).

My parents fell into bankrupcy when my siblings and I were kids, and the consequences in the family and us where (/have been) ... undesirable at the least (thinking about all of us).

Bankrupcy has been one of my strongest fears since adulthood, and seeing those scenarios surely helps... (I do realize the key to happiness is on my mind (acceptance's path ;)) and not outside, but still... it won't do any bad).

Of course, those are just excel scenarios based in rough assumptions and don't involve any major changes (wich could happen in a 30 year span), so no critical decissions are to be expected :)

PS:

Excuse me for the writing: it's not easy to squeeze my brains into words in spanish, so imagine in a foreign language :oops:

PPS:

I just read the head of the forum:
Early Retirement Extreme Forums
--- For those on the fast track to financial independence
Okay, I may be on the slow track to FI, but I still feel quite comfortable in this forum, so unless Jacob forbids, I'll keep posting about the slow track :D

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Family father
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Re: Another week went by..

Post by Family father » Mon Feb 19, 2018 5:39 pm

I had a lovely weekend with DW and the kids: ups and downs with the kids, as expected, but two lovely days in the end.

Few things make it easier than being present and not having anything else in your mind (main one being work-related issues)... :oops:

Two reads caught my eye and made me think last week:

Suomalaisen's post about kids:
You know pain is part of the long-distance triathlon, right? So why is that particular pain or discomfort just part of the experience, something that is expected and 'the way it should be' and the discomfort or pain of raising children is a rock in your shoe, something that 'shouldn't be there'?

And his WOW moment:
For so long, for SO long, life was about achieving, about growing, becoming, perfecting.
Shit, that's the name of the wall we ourselves build around happyness!

From Quadalupe's journal I read about Stoics, and after a bit of research I came upon Epictetus' Enchiridion.
Epictetus wrote:Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.

The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed.

Aiming therefore at such great things, remember that you must not allow yourself to be carried, even with a slight tendency, towards the attainment of lesser things. Instead, you must entirely quit some things and for the present postpone the rest. But if you would both have these great things, along with power and riches, then you will not gain even the latter, because you aim at the former too: but you will absolutely fail of the former, by which alone happiness and freedom are achieved.
I have so much re-wiring to do...

His writing this more than 2.000 years ago in so different living circumstances makes me think we haven't learnt that much in self's understanding...

The fact that I didn't know about it (or it's trascendence) means either I didn't pay much attention to philosophy lessons back in my high school years, and/or the approach to philosophy in high school could be improved..

Consequence: this is going to be the first book I read (not being long and being free makes it easier ;)).

Weekly review:

- Check alternative route to work done: no luck yet :( I'll be giving up this one by now...
- 10 minutes before heading home to reflect on work at the end of every day almost did it one day :oops:
- Patch something // Fix something // Declutter something nope I need to be more specific on this one
- A little meditation 2 days one!! :D
- Exercice one day (at work if possible) Nope, and I don't see that happening for the next weeks

Next week:

- 10 minutes before heading home to reflect on work at the end of every day
- A little meditation (>=5 min) 2 days
- Exercice: at least 3 times a day one minute of push-ups (or equivalent)
- Declutter bedside table papers + patch baby's sock (if DW didn't do it yet)
- Finish reading Epictetus Enchiridion

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