SlowTraveler's Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
bryan
Posts: 1040
Joined: Sat Nov 29, 2014 2:01 am
Location: mostly Bay Area

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by bryan » Thu Oct 18, 2018 12:24 am

Great info! Cop coon cup.

It was slightly frustrating for me that 1) so much written in Thai and not a romanization and 2) different romanization versions of common phrases or words (in dictionaries, guides, websites, etc). #1 was funny because I was travelling with folks that were somewhat fluent (the older folks; younger folks could understand it just fine but speaking it was a bit harder) but only one knew the alphabet so we couldn't really read any of the signs, menus, etc. #2 casts self doubt since everywhere I turned it was different.. I end up relying on the folks I was travelling with to just repeat a word/phrase a few times until I say it about the same. For example, "thank you": Cop Coon, Kop Kun, Khop Khun, kòp kun, Kub Kun, khob khun, Kob Kun, Koopkhun, and of course how to pronounce khrap/khap/króp/krab/kráp (most like "cup" for newbie english speakers I'd say).

slowtraveler
Posts: 767
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

A Change

Post by slowtraveler » Fri Nov 02, 2018 7:21 am

I've been holding this belief for the last few years that I have no influence but am merely a byproduct of all the influences that have integrated into me. A drop of water in a vast ocean, I am as I am and all the changes that occur are as a result of perceived or real situations causing internal reactions that cause change.

I am choosing to take a different route. I am responsible, I have the power to consciously change any pieces of my self that I desire. My life is all my fault. It is my fault I weigh over 90kgs, my fault I date women who lie pathologically. It is my fault I let attraction build with them by spending time with them instead of cutting them off at the first sign of bullshit, going out and meeting new women instead. It is my fault my life often feels boring. Choosing to play games or watch entertaining but mindless shows instead of going out.

When I hold the belief that my life is my fault, my life feels more invigorating. I held it before so I know I can hold it again.

Some recent improvements have been fasting twice a week, playing badminton weekly at the park, going to the gym 2-3 times a week, spending under $40/day average-which gives me FU power, signed up and ready for school again, improving posture, saying hi and flirting with a new woman daily, finding some reason to go to any type of market or mall and building this as a daily habit instead of as a rare thing has me feeling much more open.

Some rules for myself-stairstep progress, start very small and make the obstacle to the new habit very low, keep it going whenever I can and enjoy the tiniest of consistent progress, don't extrapolate- simply keep walking forward in my progress, no more than 1 new habit every week to month.

I've been fantasizing about getting high again. I know it's a distraction, not a solution to any of my problems. Been sober for over a year now with only a short break when I saw my sister in Spain. It feels surprising to think about. I'm happy it's my reality now but it didn't solve any problems except for removing one cycle of distraction from my life. I've got another few distraction cycles but the next step for me is to build my life into something I enjoy more.

Tomorrow is a free CrossFit class at 9am, I will attend. Maybe I'll try the free swing class too at night. Monday, school starts 4 days a week. I went to the gym a day or 2 ago. I just finished a 20 hour fast. I'm still fat.

Do I want another job once my current one dies out? It's a convention but will it make me happier? The status involved, the responsibility, the contribution, actually-it might.

Jason
Posts: 2176
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by Jason » Fri Nov 02, 2018 8:13 am

My therapist told me a story that he claims is truthful. His father was addicted to smoking. He wanted to quit. He didn't quit cold turkey. He didn't quit by the pack or a stick either. He quit by the puff. Yes, the fucking puff. And I'm talking the weekly puff. He figured out how many puffs of a cigarette he took a week, reduced it by 1, and that it was program. Yes, he did die of lung cancer before he quit, but that's not the point. Actually, he quit and died of something completely else but I just wanted to say that. Anyways, that's how he quit cigarettes. Reduced one puff a week.

Plus, there is this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkoPq5AOCOA

theanimal
Posts: 1238
Joined: Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:05 pm
Location: Gates of the Arctic
Contact:

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by theanimal » Fri Nov 02, 2018 12:02 pm

Yes! You're taking ownership of your life. Good for you! Thats the first step and seems to be the hardest to acknowledge. I look forward to watching your progress. Stay strong.

Viktor K
Posts: 383
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2016 9:45 pm
Location: China
Contact:

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by Viktor K » Sat Nov 03, 2018 12:13 am

I am responsible, I have the power to consciously change any pieces of my self that I desire. My life is all my fault.
I have been a bit quiet in your journal lately. I've had this same sort of conclusion in my subconscious but never really knew what it was. I think this sort of mindset is going to change a lot for you. Remember to maintain it. What are you doing for hobbies these days? For example, tabletop gaming is not productive in anyway, but its a great leisure activity that has helped me make a lot of new friends in the past couple months. I wonder, if while you're making this change in your thinking, and focusing on yourself little more, if "flirting with a new girl everyday" is really productive or helping you towards anything. I mean, if it's what you want to do, for sure, especially if you, like, really enjoy it. I just wonder if it's super productive for you? You're starting to work on yourself a lot right now, let's say you snag another girlfriend or something from the daily flirting, is that going to help or hinder your progress?

Just my thoughts. I hope it works out for you. Looking forward to hearing more and eager to see if this sort of mindset persists. For me, I try to always take a lot of agency in my own life. It can be a little extreme at times, living like that and thinking that way. But, just speaking from my own experience, the most difficult thing is just accepting your own shortcomings from time to time, whatever they may be with regards to your own perspective. Like, for me, I want to always be coding or learning code. So, on some days when I just play all day instead, I can feel a little guilty. And that helps maintain focus for the next day, as well I think if you take a lot more responsibility and really try to change your own life, then you need to also make sure you are taking time or even whole days to just let life do what it wants or follow your own whims. But if you let the guilt get too out of hand then it can start being easier to just ignore your goals and the agency you have in your own life rather than accept that, "Hey, I've been hella lazy lately and not focused and I need to start being better." So balance is key I guess is what I'm trying to say. Maybe you've been too far one way lately, but it's always good to remember that the flip side has its own extremes and own pitfalls as well.

Good luck to you slowtraveler

slowtraveler
Posts: 767
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by slowtraveler » Tue Nov 13, 2018 9:53 am

@Jason
That reflects roughly how I quit medicating, only it was how many hours a day I was allowed to medicate with the green stuff.

@Viktor
The hobbies are learning Thai, working out, reading, badminton in the park, and swing dancing. Through hiking is something I'll explore again in the future as I miss nature.

I've stopped the daily flirting since work + classes + gym + fasting got to be too much. I feel like I failed here but I'll get back to it. Your what if is the point, it tends to add more energy into my life rather than deduct it so I'd see it as helping my other goals.

I'm still taking the stance of I'm at fault.

General updates:
My strength has been steadily improving.

I've been tracking my expenses daily now. My spending is averaging $35/day.

The biggest change I've seen is that now I schedule my days- I feel far more active and happy this way. Days of low activity are a treat now.

Priorities:
1) Health: Rack deadlift twice my weight for 6 reps
*24 hour fasts twice per week
*Gym 2-3 times per week, increase reps or weight each time
*Sleep 8 hours per day
2) Wealth: FI as I experience Asia
*Exp <$30/day avg
*Invest 5 different portfolios to gauge level of risk and gains feel comfortable with (I love wellesley but I want higher returns and more tax efficiency)
Wellesley
Div Stocks, payout ratio <.8, high roe, debt/equity<1, consistent earnings growth, div yield >3%
65SV/25G/10LTT
25SV/25US/25G/25LTT
15US/15I/30SV/20G/20LTT
3) Build lifestyle happy with
*Thai class M-R, Dance St-Sn
*Plan my days
*Look people in eyes, healthy posture, walk more, actively listen instead of interrupting

slowtraveler
Posts: 767
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Playing Life on Easy Mode

Post by slowtraveler » Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:54 am

*Edited to post in separate thread
Last edited by slowtraveler on Mon Nov 26, 2018 1:44 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Tyler9000
Posts: 1548
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:45 pm
Location: Austin, TX

Re: Playing Life on Easy Mode

Post by Tyler9000 » Mon Nov 26, 2018 12:02 pm

slowtraveler wrote:
Mon Nov 26, 2018 8:54 am
*I was going to post this as its own thread but I can't seem to find the link to post a new thread at the moment
The trick is to first click the "Board Index" link and select a forum. Then the "New Topic" button will show up. I'll post my reply once you get that working. :D

Viktor K
Posts: 383
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2016 9:45 pm
Location: China
Contact:

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by Viktor K » Mon Nov 26, 2018 11:37 pm

I'll be going through Chiang Mai, Phuket and maybe Bangkok during the winter vacation. Any recommendations around there? Haven't booked the tickets yet either, so if you think another city is better let me know! Looking to do some hiking, either of the mountain or beach variety, maybe visit an elephant sanctuary for my girlfriend, and go to some temples. Not sure what else to look forward to.

slowtraveler
Posts: 767
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Shifting Goal Posts

Post by slowtraveler » Sun Dec 16, 2018 2:43 am

I've been obsessed for some time with full ERE. Now that I've reached a sub 4% wr for the last couple of months, it seems anti-climatic. I want to travel some more eventually. I'm okay relaxing in Thailand, learning the language and destressing for a couple years more but once the improvement stops and the tax benefits of living abroad finish when my job ends, I think I'm ready to work part time at a dispensary or doing something else enjoyable.

I miss the social aspect of school, always meeting new minds with a shared focus, work could offer this. While I've enjoyed socializing with computer nerds, the barrier to entry of developing that skill is high. While I enjoy teaching, I don't enjoy the group setting as much so a bud tender or managing a small grow would likely be more enjoyable. This is for a few years down the line.

For now, keep on saving since I only have the numbers down living extremely cheaply. I want to eventually have a family and maybe settle in more expensive than Thailand countries so I'm not at the point where I can say I'm FI yet since projected expenses are higher than current expenses.

slowtraveler
Posts: 767
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Always Chasing Something

Post by slowtraveler » Sun Dec 16, 2018 9:16 am

It seems that across my life, I'm always chasing something: peace, love, wealth, a 6 pack, strength, a skill, the list goes on. The goal in my mind will change everything for me and finally bring me happiness. If I become as attractive as I can, if I have a gorgeous woman who I trust and respect with similar values to me, if I quit doing abc and starting doing/having efg, I'll finally be happy and feel peaceful.

I'm now beginning to see, there is no magic bullet or even magic compound of habits that will change everything for me. Even if I sleep 8 hours a day in a pitch black room, workout 4 times a week and can deadlift twice my weight, have a 6 pack, share deepening love with a fantastic woman, quit screen time and sugar, I'm still me. I'll still find some minor thing to feel insecure about.

I've had many great friendships in my life. Few have lasted long while maintaining a high level of intense connection. They tend to fade away. For some time, I'd rest my self worth on having friendships. I'd have friendship with mutual respect and trust, it was enjoyable for some time but even after spending a while together, I'd naturally want my own time, and I'm sure they did too. There's loneliness in that desire but my body got exhausted from constant connection. With groups, it's even more exhausting if extended long. I now repeat this cycle with lover(s) instead.

Listening to my body is the guide. Body craves movement, food, less sugar, new lover. Something I've noticed that I'm still trying to reconcile is love. It feels so good, I don't enjoy casual encounters. Though a year in, the physical gets boring, I crave new. I didn't choose that. Without a spiritual connection, that happens.

I really think I should go to the mountains soon, meditate away a few days to gain more peace and stillness again.

BRUTE
Posts: 3803
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2015 5:20 pm

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by BRUTE » Sun Dec 16, 2018 1:44 pm

slowtraveler wrote:
Wed Oct 17, 2018 4:51 am
If you want strong, males and sometimes surprisingly old ladies tend to be stronger.
surprise fact: 90lbs cuties not actually strongest humans on planet.

BRUTE
Posts: 3803
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2015 5:20 pm

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by BRUTE » Sun Dec 16, 2018 1:54 pm

sawatdee kap! sabai dee mai?

funny how pratet tai reliably causes this type of introspection and zen-nihilism in westerners living there for a few months to years. it is almost as if the entire country is a meditation retreat, or a condensed course in self-reflecting life lessons.

mai bpen rai.

slowtraveler
Posts: 767
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by slowtraveler » Sun Dec 16, 2018 5:31 pm

Sabai dee khrap. The vast amounts of hedonistic pleasures available make it clear that even the ideal shade of them won't solve anything more than the single dimension of that specific realm. But even then, it simply increases the Wheaton level of the challenge. Ie- from few lovers in the west to po Leo in the east but challeneges in other relationship fulfilment with them and so on. There's always something missing and it becomes clear that there's always an excuse for dissatisfaction.

BRUTE
Posts: 3803
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2015 5:20 pm

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by BRUTE » Sun Dec 16, 2018 8:41 pm

interesting insight, brute hadn't looked at it this way.

it's definitely like living in Disneyland.

slowtraveler
Posts: 767
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by slowtraveler » Sun Jan 20, 2019 6:12 am

Life in Disneyland is improving. I've rented a motorcycle and have been travelling to nature every week with my new woman. I've climbed waterfalls and walked in many green mountains. It feels like what I'd expect Thailand to be like. This last year was my most sober year since I've started down that path. I'm now also started down daily intermittent fasting.

Withdraw rate is about 3%. Halfway to my long term goal.

Learning Thai is going great, deep conversations in only Thai are still difficult.

2Birds1Stone
Posts: 675
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:20 am

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by 2Birds1Stone » Sun Jan 20, 2019 6:46 am

Glad you are doing well st!

As time draws nearer, it may so happen that our paths cross in SEA. There is so much to explore in that part of the world, 4 months seems like a really short time to plan for an initial trip. Besides Thailand/CM specifically, what are some other easy to get to and cheap spots for an outdoorsy and adventurous couple? Does CM airport have good connections to other parts of SEA? KL, Indonesia, etc?

slowtraveler
Posts: 767
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by slowtraveler » Sun Jan 20, 2019 7:30 am

I've heard Penang, Luang Prabang, and Rayong are nice but I haven't been there yet. Disappointingly, CM has a direct flight to few cities. Hanoi, KL, Vientiane... Indonesia will require a stop somewhere. Bangkok or KL is better for their flights. Chiang Mai is surrounded by gorgeous mountains. More than you'll find in most other cities so if you have a bike that's 125cc and up, you can visit many forests in under 1.5 hours.

For the ocean, you have to go south. Either Phuket (that whole section of Thailand has many gorgeous islands and beaches but is expensive relative to northern or rural Thailand) or Rayong are your best options for a nice beach or ocean related activities. I have a friend who went paramotoring near Rayong but that's not exactly cheap.

Considering your time frame of when you're coming, you might come during Songkran. Look it up, the roads will be dangerous those days.

Below are 2 links for seeing direct flights, type "CNX" into the "from" box on flightconnections and click on "direct flights only" for skyscanner.
https://www.flightconnections.com/
https://www.skyscanner.net/transport/fl ... cnx/190130

I've also found rome2rio and https://12go.asia/en useful for planning trips including buses. 12go.asia will sell the bus but in all cases that I have personally experienced, tickets are also sold (often cheaper) either at the bus or at a booth within a minute walk of the bus.

I hope this all helps, I've honestly been more focused on healing from California since coming. I've only recently starting visiting more nature as I got my motorcycle.

slowtraveler
Posts: 767
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Re: SlowTraveler's Journal

Post by slowtraveler » Sat Feb 02, 2019 11:14 am

Wr including cycle still below 3%. Still debating on staying long term vs travelling some more. I hear some Vietnam cities are gorgeous when the hot and monsoon season comes, I might want to visit it soon.

Finances are rather boring. Constant progress and wr will temporarily increase above 3% with something new I try then dip below 3% after acclimating. Just waiting a few year to pull the final plug. More focused on happiness now.

slowtraveler
Posts: 767
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Man vs Pollution

Post by slowtraveler » Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:32 am

The town I'm in has started becoming too polluted to stay in. I've got bronchitis, I've lost my voice twice this month, nasty nasal allergies, my throat aches from the coughing.

Started using a mask. Will likely get an air filter soon For the room.
In case anybody else is suffering, 3M N95 disposable masks are good but the straps hurt. I've got a vogmask coming in the mail and looking into a XiaoMi air filter.

Any tips on healing a throat, a cough, a voice, or pollution are greatly appreciated.

Thinking to not extend my student Visa another 6 months and leave to a cleaner town in another country for 6 months. It's a short flight away and I can stay 3 months on a single run with my passport so it is making more sense. Unfortunately, I'll miss my friends here and I've got just 1 friend there who told me about the place so far since I haven't visited yet.

Wr 3-4%

Post Reply