journal of wood

Where are you and where are you going?
prognastat
Posts: 1000
Joined: Fri May 04, 2018 8:30 pm
Location: Texas
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Re: journal of wood

Post by prognastat » Tue Feb 12, 2019 9:06 am

wood wrote:
Tue Feb 12, 2019 7:19 am
That's a nice way of looking at it. I thought of your post the other day and later found myself going for a 10-minute jog with the boys.
Nice, keep up the good work.

wood
Posts: 355
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2015 5:53 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by wood » Mon May 20, 2019 2:26 am

It's been 52 weeks since my stepdaughter had the boiling water accident, and 53 weeks since my dad passed away.

I'm having a week alone to reflect on things.

Having kids makes time fly. Not having kids is a selfish choice. There is nothing wrong with being selfish in this regard. You have to love yourself first. It is also a selfless choice. Not having kids means less for your self. Having kids fills up your time so much that if you want to keep just a bracket of your old life, your life will be over filled. Mine has been over filled for a while, to the extent I've experienced a slight burnout.

My week is filled with full time work, making family dinner happen, helping kids with homework, playing with kids, taking kids to soccer practice, house chores, birthday parties, school trips, events and bedtime routines. It is a fun and rewarding week but also very tiresome.

With 3 kids, from the moment you tell them its bedtime until all of them are asleep takes about 2 hours. I'm sure its possible to do it quicker, because its possible to skip the nice conversations you have in bed and not prioritize reading and singing with them. Doing it quicker is not the point though. The point is that I believe in doing it that way, but I'm struggling with my own capacity.

I could've continued but chose to listen to my body signals. Hence this small break to reflect on things and make the right adjustments. I've done enough cutting back on my old life (time spent on exercise, reading, writing, socializing etc) and don't want to lose it completely. I want to be a full time stepdad but I don't have the capacity at this time. I don't have the capacity to live a fulfilling life as a family unit in the same house because of all the obligations and responsibilities I need to adhere to. Not now but maybe in the future, when all 3 kids are in school or something else changes that makes life less stressful.

I admire those who really do manage to live a fulfilling life with family (kids). They are to a large extent sacrificing their own selfish needs for the benefit of the whole - the family and kids. Some do this unhappily.

Jason
Posts: 2173
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:37 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by Jason » Mon May 20, 2019 7:06 am

Between you and Suo it's like the male version of The Stepford Wives around here.

7Wannabe5
Posts: 4948
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: journal of wood

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Mon May 20, 2019 8:10 am

@wood:

As with all things, you have to put on your own oxygen mask first. You can't force a child to fall asleep, but you can require that they quietly occupy themselves in bed past a certain time each evening. You wouldn't tell a puppy to sit and then throw a ball across the room, would you?

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