Five Years, Lord Willing

[Mister Imperceptible]

I was referring to the absurd notion that some of the forumites subscribe to that they would be “contributing to the problem” because children will need resources. Carried to its logical extreme nihilistic conclusion, this is the Suicide of the West. The East will just outbreed and overrun you.

I do not understand. If you are intelligent, hardy, and believe in self-reliance, your children could be part of the solution. If you are adding more to the world than you take from it, this “I am helping the world by not having children” is delusional.

[7Wannabe5]

I think I was mostly recovered within a week and completely recovered within a month. Just a bit of lingering numbness at the end. I had to cover my eye, because I wasn't blinking enough.

[Jason]

Oh. I see. With regard to helping the world, I have no such altruism. I just didn't want kids. And I don't think having a kid or not is not going to change much of anything. But if he/she did, it would be kind of funny. "Hold it, you cured cancer and you were raised by that douche."

[Jason]

I had to cover my eye, because I wasn't blinking enough.

I didn't realize I wasn't blinking and because my eye was killing me I started thinking something happened inside my head which sent me into a spiral of "God if you help me I will never be a douche again" which turned out to be pretty much indicative of the ephemeral nature of fox hole theology.

[Mister Imperceptible]

My posts were not admonishment.

I hope your plays are life-affirming, you douche.

[Seppia]

Actually we would love to have kids, apparently we are just very bad at it

[Mister Imperceptible]

Have you guys tried alternative methods?

My aunt has been a surrogate mother a few times for a European couple.

[Jason]

I have decided that monthly tracking is not an appropriate unit of measurement when it comes to net worth. Fluctuations in income, investment return, real estate markets, spending necessities etc. make it too arbitrary. So I like to reflect annually, and being that I am three years into this, I have some history.

3/2017 - $371,603
3/2018 - $441,580
3/2019 - $532,261

Spending has decreased to pretty much $0 in entertainment. Very few books, no streaming services. Outside food has decreased significantly. I can't remember the last time I bought a coffee.

I do take a Jim Cramer Mad Money approach - I squirrel money into individual stocks that have the potential of significant growth. In other words, I gamble. I treat some stocks as lottery tickets. I try to find something that at worse will provide average returns, and at best will be increase exponentially. The one I am focusing on is SFIX. With trading costs now down to $4.95 at Schwab and Fidelity, I no longer feel the need to buy only in $1k increments.

I noticed that I was constantly emptying coffee out of the bowl upon making a new pot. It occurred to me that I was literally throwing bags of coffee away. I am trying to measure better.

Yesterday, as it is known to occur, I received a letter addressed to another person. Our homes share the same numerical address. This was the first time I had received mail meant for that specific address. Upon looking at the letter, I noticed that it was sent by a man named Mr. Richard A. Dickes. Goose bumps ran up and down my spinal cord, for I realized that in my hand, I held a letter sent by a person who one could call Dick A. Dickes. For some it's a rainbow, for other a white light, but for me, divine condescension is discovered in an erroneously received letter from a man named Dick A. Dickes. When my wife came home, she saw me and asked if I had been crying. I showed her the letter and pointed to the originating address. I said look, "Dick A. Dickes. God has done this." She looked at it and said "How do you know he doesn't like to be called Rich" and walked away. And I thought, "Rich Dickes" and the skies opened, and I realized how blessed I truly am.

[Cheepnis]

Christian Finnegan has a funny bit about how his life peaked on the first day of second grade when his teacher introduced herself as "Mrs. Butts". Paraphrase: "sometimes I think it's unfortunate my life peaked so early, but I'll never experience such pure elation ever again."

[Jason]

This is the difference: unless Mrs. Butts was guided by an unwavering altruistic impulse, she would not name her child "Seymour." Mrs. Dickes on the other hand, was either a humanitarian the world rarely sees or a blathering fucking idiot and decided to give her son a first name that was a derivation of his last name, subsequently bequeathing him with a double barreled dick joke name for life.

And in homage to Christian Finnegan, the highlight of my life? The day I opened up a pack of baseball cards and found this player in it:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Pole

[Jason]

Money wise, end of month similar to beginning of month. Considering Uncle Sam withdrew 7K and first payment towards large expense for new HVAC unit, I can't complain. But I do. Because that's how I roll.

Brief exchange in Moretrees journal tethered with my reading "The True Believer" by Eric Hoffer got me thinking of my relationship with consumerism as a mass movement. Hoffer believes that the vulnerability of an individual/nation to fall prey to a mass movement commences with the decline in handicrafts - when people stop using their creative energies to improve themselves and seek external solutions and/or excuses. Individual freedom allows for the possibility of failure. Participating in a mass movement is freedom from such freedom. Discontent is not a result of people having nothing. It's a result of people tasting something they previously didn't have. He uses the example of the French Revolution. It accelerated during economic improvement, when people began to have what they never had and began to want more. A slave society is stable. A recently freed slave society is big ass trouble. Consumerism is not based on needed everything. It's based on needing one thing.

I realized my relationship with consumerism is that of a dry drunk. Sure I am not buying things I used to buy, but I am not subsequently engaging in other activity. I am the ex-drunk walking past the bar and feeling good that I'm no longer in there with my drunk friends. But I am not using my freedom to engage in new behavior. I have to find a place where I am acting like I don't have anything as opposed to knowing I just don't need anything. The problem is that I hate fucking handicrafts. I was an absolute disaster in art class. I couldn't even scribble within the lines and give my kindergarten ass a bottle of elmer's glue and the only thing that ended up adhesed together was my dick to my balls which negatively impacted bathroom accuracy and subsequently teacher/parent relations. Last time I had to pump my own gas it looked like the Exxon Valdez on spring break.

It's relevant in the sense that I have achieved "fu" money. In order to achieve "FU" money, I either need more money or some painful changes that are tethered to my latent consumerist influences. It's better to be buying on Fidelity than Amazon but I'm still in position where I am buying. Maybe I can enroll in JLF university but I don't think Lori Loughlin's money could get me in there.

[Jason]

They based McGuyver on my father. Don't get me wrong, he loved me. Probably because I broke everything in sight and it gave him opportunity to constantly fix things. And my douchebag brother inherited his ability. Me, forget it. I actually considered sticking my hand in the lathe during shop class to avoid the fucking humiliation. I honestly thought having one less finger was better than trying to make a gavel.

I admire craftsmen. If I could do anything, I would be a glass blower. I love watching those people. Its Medieval art. It's like bazooka bubble gum on fire. But shit would just end up Notre Dame if I tried.

[Jason]

OMG I Have too much money!!!! Help me!!! Someone!!! I don't want to end up on my death bed thinking I could have started a foundation to assist alcoholic indigent poultry workers who had their balls declawed by wild turkeys!!! I mean, everyone should be able to enjoy thanksgiving without suffering PTSD!!! Nurse!!! Nurse!!!! Call my accountant!!! Before its too late!!!!

Just joking. I don't have too much money. But I do have more money. After 30 months of tracking, our net worth has increased $200K. So that's kind of like an accomplishment. Although I feel like I'm just stumbling through this shit.

But, if I do have ever wind up with too much money, I, being Kegan Level Negative five on this issue, have figured out what I'm going to do with it. I will start a website dedicated to all those FIRE people who have saved too much money and can't figure out benevolent ways to spend it and provide them with creative concepts on how to spend it in a manner most unbecoming and deleterious to the world around them. I'm thinking "Mr. Money Douchebag." And it will be the beginning of the "FIRE This" movement. Because people are idiots and money doesn't help anything except not needing it, I will provide creative solutions to defund retirement accounts in the most crass and annoying ways, ways guaranteed to cause permanent rifts between you, your loved ones, your enemies, your neighbors, not to mention your community, as well as local, state and Federal law enforcement. If drinking wine and listening to suburban, music school Jazz trios thinking your Marcus Aurelius and your downtown is Ancient Anthens doesn't do it for you. Or if giving $100K to "Bathrooms Withouts Doors" doesn't make your privates all tingly, my team of douchebags will customize a program to help you out. For instance, did you, like myself, ever dream of funding a driving school with a fleet of Escalades in the Denver, CO area? Well, let's start planning that out. Your time is limited on this planet and we need to get moving.

[Mister Imperceptible]

Hahahahaha, I am sure you have seen this but just in case you needed inspiration.....I find it fascinating that in the current milieu it is so objectionable to have carved out some success and security for oneself. The end result of Judeo-Christian morality seems to be that any difference in wealth or power and any suffering must be eliminated. I feel bad about some poor schmuck in a third world country who is laboring at a less favorable position in the global supply chain but am I supposed to try and upend the system? And if you want to go Theodore Kaczynski on everyone's ass, well I guess that has some merit to it, and then you show you really mean what you say. When we are young it seems it was beaten into us that we are a “good person” and many of us spend most of our lives trying to fit that definition....at least in the eyes of others. The cognitive dissonance is deafening.

Other recent scribblings on the matter.

[Jason]

I never saw that video before. That was good. BTW, did you click on "Drinking Laxatives and Super Gluing My Butthole Shut"? I saw it in the up next column. It has 3 million views. I'm kind of afraid it's clickbait and will give my computer a virus. I'm more afraid it's an actual video of someone drinking laxatives and super gluing their butthole shut.

[Mister Imperceptible]

First of all, the way the algorithms work means you see what YouTube thinks you will want to see based on your internet search history. Second of all, if that gives me any indication of your search history then your computer is already loaded with viruses and you have already seen much worse.

[Jason]

Not on this computer. I guess they have algorithms now for how you think.

[Jason]

After much deliberation, I decided not to click on "Drinking Laxatives and Super Gluing My Butthole Shut." I believe its best to do so when I am in assisted living in order that I can use the old man "That asshole Peabody went on my computer again" excuse. I just hope I remember that I want to see it. And that I still have my eyesight. Thinking upon this has made me realize just how fragile life really is. But I have matured enough to delay gratification. Thank you for all those who have brought me to this point.

I have more money than I had last month but less time to live, so its kind of bittersweet.

[Jason]

The recent index funds threads got me thinking. I have been operating on the "its better to be a good saver than investor" hypothesis which, as I think about it, really translates to "its better to be a good saver than a bad investor." The question overlooked in this proposition is "is it possible to become a better investor?" I have come to the conclusion that as most things in life, it is and evidence indicates I have become a better investor, even though I continue to operate out of the implied "bad investor" status of the "its better to be a good save than investor" proposition.

Using our invested assets as a basis, based on a 5.4% return rate, if we continue to add 1K each month over the next 15 years, we will have approximately the same amount of money ($1.2 million) if we invested $0 per month but achieved a 7% return.

Reflecting on JLF's "Man thinks" proposition, this is a reality worthy of serious contemplation. The question is, could I think about all the dimensions of investing i.e. stock research, behavioral research, trends research obtain a 1.5% better return as opposed to all that is required (essentially work) to earn 1K a month to invest.

I have come to realize how much the mantras of the retail investing world has permeated my thinking and have taken some baby steps to move towards taking some steps to increase better returns. It's a move that will require gradual steps, but at least it provides some direction.

[Jason]

We have reached a milestone - $500K in money. I briefly considered buying the guy in The Guardian who gives 75% of his money away a new set of curtains but I'm afraid they'll want to take our picture together in front of the new curtains but as I am someone who doesn't like to to draw any attention to myself I'll have to think of some other type of charitable donation. Any ways, it might be short lived as its by the skin of of the stock market's teeth, so I need a bigger buffer before I give any on it away. In celebration, my wife and I gave each other one heartfelt and emphatic finger. We have more work to do before we can double barrel each other. I like to think it has something to do with my new investment strategy, but as MI said I need to vector to prove it. Speaking of MI, I wonder how his Jungle FevERE is going.

If one has engaged in any type of concerted effort at frugality, not having money sucks way more than having money benefits. It's not that it doesn't matter, it's just that if you are not spending it, in a material sense, it is really a process of subtraction of shitty things i.e. bill collectors, having to ask people for money, untenable living arrangements, as opposed to an addition of better things - nicer car, bigger house. Having money is a moat against the indignity of not having money. Other than that, if one is not looking to accumulate things or status, its not much beyond that. I guess you can do other things. Who knows. I don't really like doing things. Come to think of it, I really haven't done anything. Maybe I can address that after I take a nap.