Five Years, Lord Willing

Where are you and where are you going?
Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Thu Jul 20, 2017 4:13 am

Umm...my wife is a librarian at the local county library. That means I actually don't have to go the actual library to get my books. Its not even door to door service. Its couch to couch service. Its umm...oh christ. Tie me to the stake and burn me with my own fucking books. I deserve it.

I need a car for my business. I saw MMM's volt blog. MMM deletes all my posts. Even when they actually contribute to the topic. Is it just me or is he kind full of himself? Well, not kind of, but like really full of himself. I see him and Ben Affleck getting together to write a movie about himself starring Ben Affleck and then him blogging about how he donated his profits from the movie where Ben Affleck plays himself to all types of various humanitarian causes, presented in pyramid form illustrating their corresponding alignment with Stoic philosophical principles followed by a bunch of hosannas from his broke ass but I own a bicycle, community college teaching assistant minions. This of course will be followed with a picture of his bicycle in the ABC television network bike rack as he prepares for a joint interview with Ben Affleck on The Jimmy Kimmel show where MMM receives a big fucking round of applause when he hands Jimmy a big, fake dopey, oversized, handlebar mustache which Jimmy puts on but immediately takes off after the commercial break and thinks to himself I can't believe I had to leave my mansion to deal with this over-hyped, self-righteous, bicycle riding, Ted-talking, tree hugging, douchebag.

Felipe
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Felipe » Thu Jul 20, 2017 1:31 pm

Why would you buy books with an endless free supply? Every book not bought is another $5-20 working for you.

The tree hugging, ted-talking, bike riding MMM is meant to be bossy and opinionated. I pointed out the post more because there might be a car you could own rather than finance that would have more status than a Subaru.

btw congrats on how far you've come. It seems you'll reach 500k by the end of this year which is around 4 years of living expenses at 125k/yr. I see lots of opportunities to buy your freedom quickly if you desire.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Thu Jul 20, 2017 2:19 pm

With regard to why I buy books?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING!!!! OH CHRIST, LORD FORGIVE ME FOR SUCH WASTE AND THANK YOU FOR BRINGING FELIPE INTO MY LIFE TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS UNBEARABLE SHAME!!!!

I meant that. Really, Thank you Felipe. You are a godsend. I needed you to ask such a fucking obvious question. As I sit here with two freakin half read Infinite Jests and the entire MLK in America series. My God. WTF. I'm talking thousand$$$. Factor in that five year hooker and coke binge back in the 90's (OK seven years) and I could be living the life I always dreamt of - a cult leader, worshipped by a small army of sub-five foot tall, lost tribe chicks.

I like MMM. I get his schtick. I just don't understand why he won't post anything I write. I mean he writes a whole article on city planning and doesn't mention Jane Jacobs?

I am a commercial real estate agent. If I was to buy an electric car it would have to be one of those ridiculously expensive ones. The subaru works. Its not a BMW but it shows I have some sense of the bullshit required to make some money in this backass world. Plus I got 0% finance. And I didn't give in and pay for SIRIUS radio after the free subscription ran out. Which was difficult. They had a freakin' ABBA channel. That took willpower.

Thank you for the encouragement. I actually increased 10K yesterday when our Zillow boosted our condo value. I understand that's a little deceiving with such a non-liquid asset that incurs soft costs i.e. real estate commission, taxes, lawyer fees when disposed of. But its nice. Its like finding 10K under the couch. I hope to be at 500K by years end which means, I'm not sure exactly but its a nice number.

P_K
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by P_K » Thu Jul 20, 2017 7:01 pm

@Allagash

Fiby41 is correct. Jason's posts are always a pleasure to read.

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Allagash
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Allagash » Fri Jul 21, 2017 1:45 pm

If Charles Bukowski or Andrew Dice Clay were to write a ERE journal, I imagine it would read a bit like yours Jason. This is some funny shit.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Sat Jul 22, 2017 11:14 am

Investing: I don't pick stocks in the way Warren Buffet picks stocks. I just Peter Piper some of the picks that others pick. Recently, it has been more pleasurable than pain, pain specifically coming in the form of IBM, pleasure coming in ATVI, Nike, Abbie, American Water Works and Markel. I have decided to go into robotics, specifically the manufacturer of that vacuum that doesn't require that you push it. I believe robotics will be the plastics of the 21st century. Actually, I don't believe that but I can hear some douchebag saying something like that. It appears that anything that gets rid of the need for humans is the way to go i.e. self-driving cars, autonomous vacuums, sex dolls. You put it all together and pretty soon you will be able to enjoy hands free oral sex and have your car vacuumed while commuting without worrying about navigating a dangerous neighborhood in order to pick up a car job or having enough quarters to feed into those awful gas station vacuum cleaners with the hoses purposefully too short to get around to the other side of the car. I new a girl who specialized in car jobs, except she called them "vehicular adventures" which made me think of those stupid Bill and Ted movies as we drove around her neighborhood with her head in my lap.

Work: All I can ask for is potential and I have potential.

Savings: Barnes and Nobel is now officially in the no buy zone. I have not eaten out all month. Between books and food, this could save me $100-$300 a month.

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Allagash
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Allagash » Mon Jul 24, 2017 1:58 pm

Jason....speaking about Barnes/Noble, have you got hooked up with your library to download kindle and audio books? Most of the books I read are non-fiction as I'm always trying to learn something.

I have overdrive app on my phone, and it is amazing can download any audio book from my library in seconds from anywhere in the world (and they pretty much have everything). This has really accelerated my book reading and its all free. And turns my car into a "university on wheels" as as soon I I turn on the ignition of my car I made a rule audio book has to go on. Also with my evening walks I listen to audio books. I spend very little on book purchase anymore.

Since you are in commercial RE have you every thought of passively investing in real estate? All my investing is OFF WALL STREET. No stocks. I do 100% real estate as a limited partner passive investor private commercial real estate syndications, funds, etc... Since I have a background in RE I feel that I have more control in doing proper due diligence and picking the right RE investments vs. gambling on stocks. Also, I like high cash flow predictable RE deals (like class B/C value add apartment buildings). And there is a much better tax advantage for non IRA cash in passive RE partnerships vs. stocks. You get to take depreciation to shelter your returns. Many of these deals require you to be an accredited investor though (you have to document that you have over a $1 million net worth or $200k income most recent tax year if a year single....I think like over $350k if married). You have to do a lot of DD on the sponsor of the deal, the deal, etc... though. I'm sure there have been plenty of CRE partnerships that have been cluster fuck money sucking nightmares.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Mon Jul 24, 2017 3:40 pm

(1) I am not an audio book guy. I just have a problem with it. For some reason it doesn't stick. However, I just received notification that my library books have arrived. My wife should be arriving home with them in few hours. I'm pretty good at sticking to a decision, especially if I'm completely incensed with myself, which I am. So Barnes and Nobel is in my rear view mirror;

(2) Outside of REIT's, no. As paradoxical as it sounds, I feel more comfortable with stocks. As does my wife. You seem to be at a point of equity and sophistication that you are comfortable with it, so good for you. I do recognize it as a more expedient method to wealth, its just that I don't feel good about it.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Fri Jul 28, 2017 11:02 am

Good News: IRBT jumped 20% the day after I bought. MKL also spiked significantly.

Bad News: Starbucks just latte'd in my face. Damn.

Other News: Reformation summer continues. I am eating so much tuna that I suspect if I ran into a shark he would sooner dry hump me than bite my balls off. I tend to be fighting more than usual with people but its their fault. I'm busy at work. I've reached the point in life that if anyone besides my wife died I'm not in danger of being found unconscious in a third world brothel.

Felipe
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Felipe » Fri Jul 28, 2017 4:16 pm

Congratulations on doing the library more. $1200-3600 per year of increases savings and lower running costs will shave some time.

500k is a very nice number, half a mil, in your case it sounds like just over 4 years of living expenses now that your expenses have shifted down some.

My zoology tells me that sharks eat tuna but maybe you're presented in a more attractive way than the following https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7fZyrcwrRs

"real estate...more expedient method to wealth"
Not necessarily. Most people buying real estate use leverage. Warren Buffet bought stocks to build his wealth and stocks include some real estate since the corporations you are buying own some of the land they use.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Sat Jul 29, 2017 11:40 am

Thank you for your encouragement Felipe.

For my economy of scale, one healthy rental property would allow me to clock out because of its income generating ability. Its just not my bag. And I do find stocks more exciting.

Warren Buffet is an exceptional individual. That being said, I think you have to suffer from some type of mental disorder to be that good at something. I've always felt that he and Bill Gates get along because they both have Asperbergers or something of that nature. Unfortunately, my mental disorders don't help me make/save money.

I'm behind where I should be but at least I'm not a brokeass anymore. Who needs that. I met with our Pastor last night and his wife who I never realized has an incredible fucking ass on her. They live about one click above the hood. I appreciate what they do, but the second I got up this morning, I put another $100 into our condo. I want nothing to do with that shit again.

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Allagash
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Allagash » Thu Aug 03, 2017 12:11 am

Thank you for what you do Jason. You liven this joint up a little bit.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Thu Aug 03, 2017 8:03 am

Thank you. I enjoy this site. I learn a lot and it inspires me as I really do want to retire. The self discipline and humility demonstrated here is nothing short of astounding. I know I'm a self indulgent douchebag but as I age there is an imperative to try to start reigning that shit in. Not to mention this might be the last remaining site on the internet that hasn't IP banned me. Thank you Jacob!!!!

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Fri Aug 04, 2017 7:30 am

We bought our home in 2006 when the due diligence of the banks was essentially "Ok, Mr. Crackhead, about how many pounds of stolen copper pipe do you anticipate selling this year? It's just an estimate, we won't hold you to it. And Mrs. Crackhead, with regard to the unprotected blowjobs you perform behind the Quicker Liquor, what percentage do you actually receive financial compensation and not just "filthy" rock?"

I knew not to obtain an exotic mortgage, but we overpaid significantly. After being down close to 20% on market value, it seems to be creeping up. Since we re-fi'd in 2016 its gone up more than 15K and we are less than 10% down. Its increase in net worth I did not anticipate. Which is nice. We have also reduced our payments through re-fi's by over 33% which is also nice. Bottom line, I'm starting to have a better view towards the purchase besides those of the "I own my home and no longer have to deal with a douchebag landlord" variety.

halfmoon
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by halfmoon » Fri Aug 04, 2017 7:57 am

Absolutely hilarious (and sadly accurate) description of the mortgage environment in 2006. I've been wondering if that attitude is creeping back, because I see banks advertising zero-down mortgages. As Calvin says: "Careful! We don't want to learn anything from this."

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1992/05/17

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:12 am

I would have used strippers but that was the real life scenario as depicted in The Big Short which I highly recommend. It's getting harder and harder to find hyperbolic examples.

Lessons are never learned. Or maybe they are learned but forgotten. The carnage of sub-prime housing has shifted to sub-prime auto loans. Recently I read a financial article in the Wall Street Journal written by a younger journalist. The gist of the story - we are at a all time high in home equity net worth and it provides a great opportunity to pull the money out and use it for other purposes.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:46 pm

Zillow is playing me like my first girlfriend, whom, I'm glad to report now has more chins than Jabba The Hut. Which is why its probably better that people don't get married at 13 anymore. Well, unless you are in India, where you might not have a choice on the matter. Because they always say, before you marry a chick look at her mother but if her mother is only 26, she might still look good even if it is the year 1385 with the black death and high infant mortality rates. Its like the average chick gave birth 15 times back then. But I digress and I apologize. But she really was a sadistic little bitch now that I have time in between. Anyways, these internet assholes just took 5K away from me. That's some cruel ass shit right there. I guess that's the issue with home ownership.

I have a good at shot at being 450K by the end of the summer but now that I'm beholden to these fluctuating fucknuts who knows.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:00 am

My wife is away and I've been struggling and I'm pissed because I bought a ton of bullshit food and finally realized I'm just a slothful piece of shit.

Felipe
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Felipe » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:27 pm

It's okay to feel shitty or slothful. Junk food will do that with huge insulin spikes. It doesn't mean you "are" a slothful pos but that you are currently experiencing a certain behavior pattern. I'm hoping that by denominalizing (noun->verb) your thinking, you realize that it's only what you're going through now and doesn't have to create an identity for you. This way, it will both pass quicker and bother you less. Less energy spent on wallowing, more on being present and working from there.

What'd you get? I've been having a pack of bacon daily.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:50 pm

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement Felipe. I really do appreciate it. And to think at this time you are in some cavern or basin or canyon risking a rattle snake coming up and snaring one of your testicles completely out of your sack almost makes me want to cry. This is a true community.

Fried chicken. And lots of it. The cheap, sodium bombed kind you buy at the supermarket in the plastic container that says "Chef's Picnic Special" and you start eating before you leave the parking lot like you're some human trafficking victim just freed from a ship container. I had to get a root canal this morning with these really hot chicks sticking their boobs in my face and I'm praying, God, if you help me suppress these fried chicken farts, I swear I'll never buy this shit again." He is faithful.

Im agitated and depressed and I'm watching Netflix documentaries. Its sadder than a baby casket.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:17 am

I think my feeling sorry for myself/depression has passed. It might have been that documentary on Princess Di. She was only 36 when she Di'd. Beautiful woman, smart, did amazing things for AIDS awareness but always made sure she had her royal dildo packed for her humanitarian journeys. Truly a world class piece of ass and you know she was fierce in the sack. Unfortunately she marries a guy who only wants to fuck chicks that remind him of his own mother. As our great leader so eloquently summarizes complex issues, "sad."

I have a very rudimentary understanding of the mathematical relationship to retirement and since I'm way passed ERE and just trying to save as much coin as possible, I tried to figure out how much money I need to save to have my house paid off and have 1 Mil in the bank. With the help of blowhard Dave Ramsey and his handy dandy savings calculator it appears to be approx. 300K. Its a big number but not a crazy ass you got to be fucking kidding me number. A back of the napkin scratch is that our net worth went up about 130K in the last year. Five years will not be five years. I have resolved myself to that based upon certain factors, most notably my self and my propensity to fuck myself in my own ass on a fairly regular basis. But its a place to start.

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fiby41
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by fiby41 » Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:10 am

Jason wrote:
Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:17 am
Unfortunately she marries a guy who only wants to fuck chicks that remind him of his own mother.
As the saying goes every man grows up to marry his own mother. Oedipus complex much? Perhaps Freud has written volumes expounding on this, but Dragline is the only one I'm aware of, who has read him.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:54 am

I took a class in college "Freud and Modernism." I think I read most of his stuff. I think Oedipus was in "Totem and Taboo" which sounds like goods names for a set of twins. Freud in psychology, Marx in history, Nietzsche in philosophy, Darwin in science. They are responsible for why we have arrived where we are. However, from my understanding,in the psychology community, Freud is no longer taken serious (or at least held in reverence as he once was), having initially been eclipsed by Jung. But that's where my knowledge on the matter ends.

But back to Charles. He marries this beautiful woman, half his age, a nymphomaniac (my viewpoint but one with which I will not trifle) who by all accounts loves him and he wants to bang this middle aged woman that looks like she should be solving garden party murders on some insipid daytime BBC show geared for old women drooling in wheelchairs.

To think this guy could be King should frighten everyone. And I don't care what the party line is, no way is that ginger spare his biological son. He looks like he just wants to go to soccer games, get drunk and beat the shit out of Muslims.

Jason
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Jason » Sat Aug 19, 2017 1:16 pm

Good News: My wife is back from Venice. I bought her a dozen roses so when she came in she would see that I missed her. I remember reading a story of someone visiting James Agee when he was living alone. They said it looked like he had been wrestling with the devil. That's how I felt except I didn't write Let Us Praise Famous Men while she was gone. But I did watch all the golden button America Got Talent auditions. Man some people are fuckin talented. But Simon Cowell has changed. He's nice and smiles. He must be getting blown on a regular basis or something.

Bad News: Stock market and Zillow are like two hillbillies treating me like I'm Ned Beatty. For the first time in my life I have thought about retiring overseas. Someone here posted pictures of Switzerland. That was beautiful. The Alps. Plus chocolate. And beautiful, icy, remote Aryan chicks wearing black leather pants. I'm just not sure about the whole neutrality thing. People are not neutral. They can be objective on occasion. There was this woman I worked with fresh out of college. I didn't really like her but she banged the office stud and then like a douche he tells everyone that she sings "The Sound Of Music" when she orgasms. I actually felt bad for her. But it did help me see the real meaning in Julie Andrews singing in the mountains. I never realized it was one of the greatest euphemisms in 20th century cinema. I mean let's face it, she dancing around out there like a singing vagina. I see death everywhere.

Irrelevant News: I'm having a hard time focusing on reading. It might be the summer, who knows.

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Frugalchicos
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Re: Five Years, Lord Willing

Post by Frugalchicos » Sun Aug 20, 2017 9:22 am

Good job Jason, you made me laugh!

Keep up with the savings and if you ever want to retire overseas, Spain welcomes you!

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