Early Retirement Extreme Forums

I miss you being more active on this board, but I guess you being the quintessential example of quality over quantity this was a normal evolution of your participation pattern.
You're always a great read, keep kicking ass

I'm glad things are going well for you, Fish. I like what you said about not using your kids as an excuse for failed expectations.

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Projected savings rate for 2018: 55%

There is a lot I could write about my 2018 spending, but the words would be wasted. As @suo mentioned in his journal, health insurance is perhaps the biggest obstacle to FI/RE with a family. Partly because of this, I am realizing that the path I am on will not lead to FI anytime soon. To get there, something has to change: either we cut spending to MMM level, or I start a biz.(*) Neither is likely, but that is reality.

(*) WSP influence clearly showing here.

Furthermore, I will have to ramp up the effort at work. Not trying to get promoted (the reward wrt effort is not there at this stage), just want to avoid unnecessary stress at work due to underperformance. It’s interesting this whole FI/RE thing was started to get away from my job, but I have rediscovered that work can and should be fun.

Lastly, the impact of DW’s efforts at reducing expenses is starting to show, but as much as it’s appreciated the big picture is not changing that much (something like FI in 12 years instead of 15).

And copying a nice quote out of the discussion in CL’s journal:

Jin+Guice wrote: ↑

Sun Nov 18, 2018 12:43 pm

3) Numbers and math. I like them too, but don't let them fool you. $x doesn't make you free. You make you free. Money is just one of the tools you can use.

This is a great reminder. I consider myself FU but not FI, which is already plenty of confidence to enact whatever life change is desired, short of stopping work permanently. Fear and insecurity is used to sell products (personal finance included), and it is easy to fall victim to the idea that one always needs more money regardless of the current position. But the reality is, unless there’s a cash flow problem, there’s no such thing as needing more money to do X. Any barrier is purely psychological.

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Glad to read an update from you Fish! I still reread some of your posts in your journal and other threads, e.g. about deliberately coasting to FI and others. They give me inspirations and food to think about. From some of them I can learn also a great deal, because they have some great insights for me personally. You really do help people with them.

And then you write another update and it resonates with me instantly. How do you do this?

Fish wrote: ↑

Sat Dec 01, 2018 1:52 pm

And copying a nice quote out of the discussion in CL’s journal:

Jin+Guice: "Numbers and math. I like them too, but don't let them fool you. $x doesn't make you free. You make you free. Money is just one of the tools you can use."

This is a great reminder. I consider myself FU but not FI, which is already plenty of confidence to enact whatever life change is desired, short of stopping work permanently. Fear and insecurity is used to sell products (personal finance included), and it is easy to fall victim to the idea that one always needs more money regardless of the current position. But the reality is, unless there’s a cash flow problem, there’s no such thing as needing more money to do X. Any barrier is purely psychological.

Totally true, that is a great reminder. I wouldn't say, that I struggle with this psychological issue, but it is definately true, that it has an influence on me. Fear of running out of money is an issue. On the other hand, if you improve your ERE-skills and therefore reduce your expenses or/and increase your income (streams), that fear will lose its power.

Since following ERE I (have to) deal with such psychological / behavioural aspects of money. And that itself is also rewarding. Otherwise I wouldn't have the need to think about such things, because it seems normal to have suche "psychological barriers" for mainstream.

Well, congrats to the projected SR! It's a good thing, that your DW makes progress. Even 3 years makes a huge difference. And you never know if it's further improving. Take care.

Fish wrote: ↑

Sat Dec 01, 2018 1:52 pm

health insurance is perhaps the biggest obstacle to FI/RE with a family. Partly because of this, I am realizing that the path I am on will not lead to FI anytime soon. To get there, something has to change: either we cut spending to MMM level, or I start a biz.(*) Neither is likely, but that is reality.
...
Lastly, the impact of DW’s efforts at reducing expenses is starting to show, but as much as it’s appreciated the big picture is not changing that much (something like FI in 12 years instead of 15).
...
Any barrier is purely psychological.

Does acceptance of the first two realities not help with removing the third? Or does @fish still have trouble letting go? As a parent, there are so many things to worry about, you'd think being in a situation to let go of one of them (cash flow concerns) would be freeing, yet some of us (e.g., me) find it scary to let go of one of our favorite worries. It's almost like we want the movie to end a certain way and don't want to accept the fact that it will end a different way even though embracing this alternate ending actually makes for a better movie.

Fish wrote: ↑

Mon Dec 19, 2022 3:22 pm

....considered writing a journal update for the first time in years.

Offering some friendly encouragement to consider an update. You write very thoughtful and insightful posts. You never know how those might influence someone else.

As someone with a wife and four kids I would also love to see an update.

I can certainly relate to some of what you have written - especially the lack of time during infant / toddler stages and amount of money spent to raise a family and spending differences between my wife and I. This can all make early retirement far more challenging than most non-parents and single people realize.

It's also good to see where people are after several years.

If nothing else, I want to thank WRC and M for the bump.

My daughter is five months old as of today, and so I too appreciate seeing posts from parents.