Re: akratic's ERE journal
Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2016 9:05 pm
@mango: I've tried multiple coworking spaces in Austin and Boston, and they haven't worked well for me. The only real social interaction I got from them was people who wanted something from me, like freelancing gigs or to be my coach (?!). In school or a 9-5 there is a lot of organic interaction, and eventually you get to know everyone near you. At coworking spaces it always felt more forced and unnatural, like everyone was busy on their own isolated thing. Frankly, a coffee shop is better.
@C40: we house sat for free for the first month in Boston and then found a terrific apartment for 50% of market rate by being the first people to reply to it on craigslist and then following through on it immediately. We only have it for a couple of more months, but still we're like disgustingly good at finding inexpensive accommodation now -- I almost feel guilty. The rest below:
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A lot has happened in the past few months. So much in fact that I haven't even been checking the ERE forums, one of my favorite activities.
Let's see, chronologically:
1) I proposed to my girlfriend of seven years. She said yes! Choosing the right partner is one of the biggest decisions I'll make in my life, and I couldn't have done better. She's perfect for me.
2) We are planning a 70 person wedding for this September on an island in Maine for under $10k. Wedding planning is hard.
3) We moved cross country (back to Boston) and visited a bunch of friends on the way and then found a new apartment.
4) I went all-in on one of my entrepreneurship projects with a friend. I spent 40+ hour weeks cranking out the prototype. And then we launched and failed so spectacularly and catastrophically that I don't think we're even friends anymore.
5) Without going into too much detail, a shit load of drama went down in my immediate family. Here's a short list: affair, custody dispute, suicide watch, grand theft. During all this I ended up shouldering an incredible amount of other people's emotions in order to support my family members.
6) I completed a working version of one of my greatest ever hobby projects: a willpower app called Akratic. It rewards me with a) my own internet connection, b) TV episodes like Game of Thrones, and c) movies -- in exchange for regularly completing tasks like going to the gym, cleaning the apartment, and flossing. You can read more about that project here: http://blog.akratic.com
A common thread in the two disasters, 4) and 5), is I saw some people close to me change dramatically as they were put into stressful or difficult situations. I think I had this kind of naive assumption before that people who were friendly in good times would also be friendly in bad times (barring occasional emotional outburst that they might quickly apologize for). But now I've seen some people that I trusted in the past turn into legitimately bad people after they got stressed out. And it's shaken me deeply, forcing me to question which of the people that I had previously considered my friends that I could count on not just in good times but also in bad times.
Anyway, #1-6 above had me pretty buried there for a while, but things are finally clearing up.
As for my next big goal, I'd say it's starting a family and being a great dad. From my original bucket list, many things are now crossed out now like hiking the AT, traveling the world, starting a business, and achieving FI. And there are some things left that the timing isn't the best for:
- live on a catamaran in the Caribbean: but I'm adventured-out at the moment
- build a tiny house in Maine: but I have to wait to see if it's a 2 person house or a 4+ person house because that changes things
- get a PhD: but it's bad timing to do while starting a family, and besides I still don't know what field or project I'd want to focus on
Maybe I'll get to those later.
It's funny looking back on my journal and seeing that I was already leaning towards getting a 9-5 back in February, because although I got thoroughly derailed from that track by #1-6 above, I think it's my next move. Even with a gap on my resume, I think I can still ace an engineering interview, which means I'll have a lot of options. The hard part is deciding what I want. I know I miss the structure, the regular social interaction of working with a bunch of smart people, and the luxury of focusing only on the technical stuff that I'm good at and flow easily doing. But I've got some hard decisions to make like whether to prioritize good coworkers or interesting/meaningful work. And I can't even decide whether I want an easy job or a hard one. I'll probably investigate a bunch of options over the next month and try to make a good, slow decision.
@C40: we house sat for free for the first month in Boston and then found a terrific apartment for 50% of market rate by being the first people to reply to it on craigslist and then following through on it immediately. We only have it for a couple of more months, but still we're like disgustingly good at finding inexpensive accommodation now -- I almost feel guilty. The rest below:
===
A lot has happened in the past few months. So much in fact that I haven't even been checking the ERE forums, one of my favorite activities.
Let's see, chronologically:
1) I proposed to my girlfriend of seven years. She said yes! Choosing the right partner is one of the biggest decisions I'll make in my life, and I couldn't have done better. She's perfect for me.
2) We are planning a 70 person wedding for this September on an island in Maine for under $10k. Wedding planning is hard.
3) We moved cross country (back to Boston) and visited a bunch of friends on the way and then found a new apartment.
4) I went all-in on one of my entrepreneurship projects with a friend. I spent 40+ hour weeks cranking out the prototype. And then we launched and failed so spectacularly and catastrophically that I don't think we're even friends anymore.
5) Without going into too much detail, a shit load of drama went down in my immediate family. Here's a short list: affair, custody dispute, suicide watch, grand theft. During all this I ended up shouldering an incredible amount of other people's emotions in order to support my family members.
6) I completed a working version of one of my greatest ever hobby projects: a willpower app called Akratic. It rewards me with a) my own internet connection, b) TV episodes like Game of Thrones, and c) movies -- in exchange for regularly completing tasks like going to the gym, cleaning the apartment, and flossing. You can read more about that project here: http://blog.akratic.com
A common thread in the two disasters, 4) and 5), is I saw some people close to me change dramatically as they were put into stressful or difficult situations. I think I had this kind of naive assumption before that people who were friendly in good times would also be friendly in bad times (barring occasional emotional outburst that they might quickly apologize for). But now I've seen some people that I trusted in the past turn into legitimately bad people after they got stressed out. And it's shaken me deeply, forcing me to question which of the people that I had previously considered my friends that I could count on not just in good times but also in bad times.
Anyway, #1-6 above had me pretty buried there for a while, but things are finally clearing up.
As for my next big goal, I'd say it's starting a family and being a great dad. From my original bucket list, many things are now crossed out now like hiking the AT, traveling the world, starting a business, and achieving FI. And there are some things left that the timing isn't the best for:
- live on a catamaran in the Caribbean: but I'm adventured-out at the moment
- build a tiny house in Maine: but I have to wait to see if it's a 2 person house or a 4+ person house because that changes things
- get a PhD: but it's bad timing to do while starting a family, and besides I still don't know what field or project I'd want to focus on
Maybe I'll get to those later.
It's funny looking back on my journal and seeing that I was already leaning towards getting a 9-5 back in February, because although I got thoroughly derailed from that track by #1-6 above, I think it's my next move. Even with a gap on my resume, I think I can still ace an engineering interview, which means I'll have a lot of options. The hard part is deciding what I want. I know I miss the structure, the regular social interaction of working with a bunch of smart people, and the luxury of focusing only on the technical stuff that I'm good at and flow easily doing. But I've got some hard decisions to make like whether to prioritize good coworkers or interesting/meaningful work. And I can't even decide whether I want an easy job or a hard one. I'll probably investigate a bunch of options over the next month and try to make a good, slow decision.