akratic's ERE journal

Where are you and where are you going?
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Re: akratic's ERE journal

Post by Stahlmann » Sat Jun 24, 2017 6:52 am

So you aced your SATs and extracurricular activities in high school. Then you aced in your studies at one of the most prestigous universities in the world. Finally, you were able to sustain hardcore paying job in very competitive field for 1-2 years for 2-3 times for crazy amount of money.

And you are saying that you have problems with focus/procrastination/internet addiction?!

Where is the problem?
Did your parents send you to this school?
Do job offers like that lay on the ground?

What do I miss? :D

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Re: akratic's ERE journal

Post by Noedig » Wed Jul 12, 2017 10:49 pm

Me and my brother 6000 miles away, both shamefacedly admitted to buying games in the Steam sale, which we will have time to play in maybe a decade. Games are not like wine - so this is a form of hoarding, at least for virtual goods.

How you doing akratic with your struggle against self? I interpret the long silence as a positive sign that you are out engaging with the world. Hope so.

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Re: akratic's ERE journal

Post by Allagash » Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:42 pm

In 24 years of surfing the internet one of the better forum threads I've ever read. Thanks so much akratic for your unselfishness in sharing.

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Re: akratic's ERE journal

Post by akratic » Tue Sep 05, 2017 8:59 am

Hey guys,

Sorry for the long hiatus. When I began my ERE journey I put almost 100% of myself into it, ignoring nearly every other previous interest or hobby (aside from my partner and friends) to free up more life energy for ERE. This meant I made quick progress on ERE, but there was a hidden price which is my previous interests were ignored. Now it's the ERE forums that have been ignored to enable 100% focus elsewhere.

I don't know why I do this. It's useful sometimes when my intense focus is directed at a good target. And it's a pretty stupid strategy otherwise, as for example I derive great benefit from quick visits to these forums.

But anyway, here are the highlights of my hiatus:

- Our wedding in Maine was glorious and perfectly designed for us. That day I experienced the most powerful positive emotions of my entire life. Two big things I have done right in my life are finding the right partner and achieving FI.

- My wife is pregnant! Our son is due in 79 days! I want badly to be a good father. After seven years together we got married because we thought we were ready to have kids. It took us five months after the wedding to work up the courage to try getting pregnant, and then under two weeks to actually do it. I'm grateful for how smooth things have been up to now, and have my fingers crossed for a happy and healthy baby.

- For six months I had a new hobby: rock climbing, which had a nice combination of physical activity plus a social component that introduced me to fun nerds. I injured the inside of my fingers though, and it hasn't been the same since.

- My new hobby is the direct pursuit of wisdom. I made a new close friend who is finishing a Philosophy PhD and we regularly talk for hours about both western and eastern perspectives on how to live a good life, people we know who have shit figured out, and why we seem to get stuck in our own lives. Almost every two weeks for the past 9 months we have attended an Emotional Literacy circle, which is a group of about 8-10 people who aspire to understand their own emotions and behavior. I'm bad at this but eager to get better.

- Inexplicably I chose entrepreneurship again and have spent the bulk of my last year working on the next project. This one is signficantly more successful than my previous attempts. In the last six months the pilot of the startup I co-founded has 472 customers and $37k in revenue, with the potential to scale up to tens of thousands of more locations. We have $548k in the business checking account from investors and are at the point where we started paying ourselves $80k/yr salaries last month. However, I am deeply conflicted about whether I want to continue working on this startup. I'm not passionate about what we do, I have been unhappy working on it, I don't believe in the future of our business, I don't need a big startup exit to enable any big goals in my life, and I don't like who I am while working on it (stressed, tired, in need of support, and consumed by stuff that doesn' matter). This past week I'm thinking we should shut the business down and return what's left of the investor money, although this is difficult to say after putting in so much blood, sweat, and tears to get this far.

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Re: akratic's ERE journal

Post by SavingWithBabies » Tue Sep 05, 2017 10:59 am

Congratulations on the marriage and pregnancy! Parenthood is exciting and challenging and sometimes semi-maddening. But I have two kids (two year old and a four week old) and wouldn't change anything.

For your new business, have you considered stepping down? Typically, in this situation, my understanding is that the best thing to do is to avoid a non-longer-active founder having a lionshare of their grants/options/stock. So if you are prepared to shut it down, you might instead consider if you would be happy with say 10% of your current vested ownership and walking away. I'm assuming there are multiple founders. That lets you leave without negatively impacting the investors and/or other founders. You might consider yourself irreplaceable and that might be somewhat true however it isn't your problem to solve if you want to leave. In the future, another thing to consider, is bootstrapping without investment. It's a slower path but it can be a lot less stressful. I'm trying that on my current side business with a friend. It's going too slow in terms of growth of customers but the stress level is very low and I can juggle it with a full time job.

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Re: akratic's ERE journal

Post by C40 » Tue Sep 05, 2017 5:15 pm

Thanks for the update Akratic. I'm always interested to read what you're up to. Congrats on the marriage and coming baby.

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Re: akratic's ERE journal

Post by jennypenny » Wed Sep 06, 2017 7:17 pm

Congratulations! You sound so much happier than the last time you posted.

Your feelings about the start up may change when the baby comes along. You may find either (1) you need something to focus on besides the baby and you want to stick with it, or (2) you want to spend all your time with the baby and decide to back out. It's hard to say which it will be since everyone reacts differently to becoming a parent.

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Re: akratic's ERE journal

Post by slowtraveler » Thu Sep 07, 2017 7:31 pm

26 pages, somehow read in the last couple of days. Wow. Gripping story. Don't know how I didn't notice through hiking and long term travel in the journals earlier.

Thanks for documenting the journey. It was inspiring and educational, reflective of more than I expected. I saw the success, the adventure, the lull-
the contrast of having it all handled becoming the challenge itself, the desire to go back somewhere with a fresh energy, the overwhelming spaciousness become drama, and still pressing on to build a satisfying life. It was fascinating.

It's nice to see the move having so much impact on your happiness and cultivating an enlivening lifestyle. Congratulations on building your family.

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Re: akratic's ERE journal

Post by Smashter » Wed Sep 13, 2017 9:03 am

Congrats! Like Felipe, I also binged your journal the past few days. Really inspiring and thought provoking. Loved it.

The pursuit of wisdom thing sounds really cool. I will be curious to see how that changes your world view. I'm sorry if I missed it somewhere, but do you also talk to a therapist? Do you think you would find value in that? I wonder how that one on one interaction compares to the emotional literacy circle. I've never heard of those, and now I want to look into them.

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