Ontarian's Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
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Ontarian
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Ontarian's Journal

Post by Ontarian »

Sometimes I think the job I'd enjoy most is house cleaning and yard work. To be self-employed doing mild to moderate physical work.

Hi, I chose the username Ontarian, but wish I had picked something different. I've returned to university to complete a one-year certificate program to improve my job prospects. I'm 26. I have expectations for myself that I should be working in some kind of professional job which requires me to use intellect and other skills people know me to have. But at times I feel I have so many job-specific skills to learn and then feel incompetent compared to those already working in the field. But I should try my hat at this and see how I make out. One problem I have with pursuing the job I'm aiming for is I imagine most of the skills will not translate over to my personal life. Learning how to use business intelligence software, working with databases, creating reports... Thankfully I'm going into this with knowledge about ERE. If anything, this white collar job will provide a ~1.5 times higher income than I've had in the past and I can reach FI that much sooner.

One trick will be to not spend much extra as a result of working in this job. It has already happened to an extent in preparation of potential job interviews by purchasing a suit, two dress shirts and matching ties. The suit was on sale for $179 but by the time I walked out of the store I had spent $339! I'm considering returning these items. I have already have some appropriate clothing. Or will wearing a suit make a significant difference for interviews and on days when I know I'll be presenting to executive staff?

The timer has gone off for me to return to working on group essays for school. In future posts I think I'll describe what my ideal life would be like and be more specific in my writing.

To foreshadow: wanting to return to my hometown area, cross country skiing, maintaining woodlots on my parents' farms, living in the country (but somehow wanting to get rid of my car and being able to walk to work...hm I don't think it's realistic. Best I live in town.), gardening, community service

AussieGirl
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Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2016 7:32 pm

Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by AussieGirl »

Welcome. If your just starting out in the corporate world a few decent shirts and a suit will be a worthwhile asset. It probably shouldn't matter but it does. :D

Ontarian
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Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by Ontarian »

Thanks for your welcome and advice AussieGirl. I appreciate it =)

sky
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Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by sky »

I recommend a career which brings in money quickly. Save your cash, invest and then life can be tranquil.

Ontarian
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Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by Ontarian »

Thank-you Sky for the helpful recommendation. I'm in a health informatics program and though I'm not yet done, I've been applying for jobs and looking into studying for the entry-level project management exam, the CAPM. But then I think about how Agile or Scrum are perhaps more relevant in the informatics field, so I get off on a tangent with those certifications. It feels good to return here and be reminded what's important. Yes, earning and saving money, but ultimately to be contented in one's life. For the record, I'm going to start out with just cramming for and passing the CAPM exam. The whole process will cost me ~500CAD. Eventually I may study for "agile project management" but the with the potential to arrive at FIRE quickly, it's probably not worth my while to pursue that cert.

Ontarian
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Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by Ontarian »

April 2021 Results
April savings rate = 91.7%
NW = 64X TTM Spending
NW adding realistic amount for scenario of paying for housing = 27X TTM Spending
WR = 1.6%
WR adding realistic amount for scenario of paying for housing = 3.7%

Image

For 20 months I’ve been living rent-free by helping a couple around their property. Financially, it has been a win for me and I’ve been exposed to permaculture ideas and a few other topics while here. When I move out in the coming months I will offer her some money for the books I’ve enjoyed reading.

I will need to factor in reasonable housing costs in the future though I think it could be good to continue modeling/living a “radical” housing situation/relationship. Ie. Summer living in a basic trailer the woods as I work on my family’s woodlots over coming years or entering into another co-housing relationship with a fun older woman who’s cool with me having a gay lover over. We shall see!

Looking at my spending over the past year, it’s a reminder that a) there is room to decrease spending on non-staple groceries and b) it will be good to take the insurance off my 2010 car again. Although, at ~$150 and 120, my grocery & insurance bills are not bad in the grand scheme of things.

Current interests/pursuits: doing the Ontario tree marking eLearning courses to apply knowledge on family’s woodlots and potentially take $2500 in-person course to become certified to do tree marking. Tree markers charge about $50/acre in my family’s area. It could be an enjoyable win-win gig to do sometimes – bonus income and a reason to walk in the woods while subtly sharing environmental messaging.

Current job: overall I’ve had a good run – been here 3 years and 3 months. Learned a fair amount about healthcare IT and was able to apply my informatics education – that post-degree one-year certificate program paid off (as I suspected it would). Did my health suffer at times from stress, being sedentary through the workday, and joints seizing up some on a micro level? Yes. But I guess it has been worth it for the money. I’m looking forward to learning new things in the coming years, ideally making the world at least a slightly better place by creating opportunities for & mentoring young people, thinking about how we can reduce inequality & improve wellbeing, and take effective climate action. Cheers.

Eta: future iterations of the spending graph will improve with columns being renamed some. Commentary on spending will include what objectives the financial outlays brings me/my communities towards objectives.

basuragomi
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Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by basuragomi »

This is very cool. Doing tree planting might be a future option for working vacations with some more formal forestry experience. I know someone with a forestry degree that leveraged that into getting paid to live all over Canada in various parks. I hear it's hard to break into the Ontario parks service if you're not a student though.

Do you think you could pull off winterized trailer/tiny home living on a woodlot?

7Wannabe5
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Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Your house-share with old lady who is cool with your gay lovers is a great idea. I just may steal it!

Ontarian
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Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by Ontarian »

Thanks for your replies basuragomi and 7Wannabe5. Your comment about scenario of working in different parts of Canada was an injection of different vision than what I've been having (human-scale permaculture making most of neighbourhood + city-level assets along with family's farms & woodland 20 min bike ride north of city). I mean, I do need to take 7w5's advice about being decisive (written elsewhere) but at the same time I think if one can be aware of the other possibilities and be okay with not engaging in them then... I guess it ensures that one is doing the more important thing. Which is ultimately what I'd like to do. That is, what does the world/universe need most and how should I help with that in a way that's sustainable for me. Currently I think doing ecological-financial woodlot management while influencing my dad's farming practices (and those who farm the land in coming years) and being a model for a low carbon equivalent lifestyle. Throw in some resiliency and a whole lot of fun (group fitness classes at in-town YMCA).

The perceived challenge I face is low amounts of affirmation & encouragement from my parents. But as I reminded myself on gasoline-fuelled 90min trip back to my current city of salaryman employment, a) you must be in a positive relationship with yourself first and b) do not expect affirmation or encouragement from your dad - he is not that kind of person. So, I must make best practice-based plans, maybe get a cert to increase cred (tree marking course), and then present plan & engage. But oh if only my parents understood how much more impactful I could be with a simple "that sounds like a good idea. What's the next action?"

And 7Wannabe5, a) I was DELIGHTED that you commented on my post, and b) I encourage you to... at least continue considering it and watching for potential candidates. I think a number of gay men would enjoy working alongside you on The Money Dimple - I for one told my mom & sister about it and laughed saying "I have half a mind to go help her!" A number of people on ERE forum likely thought the same.

Ok, that's basically what I fired up this reply box to say. 1) Primary relationship with self. 2) Don't depend on affirmations or encouragement. 3) Make plans & engage (experiment/pilot)!

ertyu
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Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by ertyu »

Ontarian wrote:
Sun May 09, 2021 11:53 am

The perceived challenge I face is low amounts of affirmation & encouragement from my parents.
Ooooh boy can write a novel here :lol:

I see you're trying to go down a road I tried to go down, unsuccessfully. A need of yours, in this case for positive recognition, esteem, and praise from parents, is being unmet. You are essentially telling yourself now, self, do not have this need! You shouldn't be having this need in the first place!!

Guess what, I'm yet to ever fulfill a need of mine by trying to suppress it and telling myself I shouldn't have it. That need will still stay there, and you will either end up acting it out or it will make you vulnerable to people. Some possible examples which will likely not apply to you because every person is different: finding yourself going the extra mile for that older boss who gives you positive feedback and regard against your best interest and sometimes, to the detriment of your personal goals. Or finding yourself inappropriately boastful when defenses are down, e.g. when drunk, because you want the positive recognition. Or falling for a girl/partner who showers you with praise because they've figured out that's the way to game you then use you. Codependence, etc.

Assorted tips and tricks which have worked for me or others I know:

- ask yourself, "how do I wish X had reacted instead?" "what do I wish X had said / asked me instead?"

Sometimes, this is enough to unlock your connection to what you are needing, and to let it go.

- train yourself to notice ways in which you're doing well, and things in which you're doing well. Solution-Focused Brief Therapy works wonders here. It is entirely positive and doesn't involve navel-gazing and dwelling on problems or past history; it instead consists entirely of helping you clarify your personal goals and learning to notice areas which deserve positive feedback. If you have access to someone who practices this, I recommend it. As opposed to other forms of therapy, (1) no lengthy money-wasting intake appointment or diagnosing, you jump right in, (2) each session is self-contained and it's not assumed that you need to go for years and years to see results.

- David Burns' book "feeling good" will help if you're a thinking, logically oriented personality type.

- train yourself to notice ways in which others are doing well, and compliment them. Often, I don't think I deserve recognition or positive feedback for something which should have supposedly been taken for granted. I would be uncomfortable with giving myself positive feedback bc I don't know how bc parents never did. But somehow, when I see praise-worthy progress in others, it's easier for me to allow myself to feel good about myself for having accomplished the same or similar things.

Assorted tips and tricks which did not work for me:

- canned affirmations, as were fashionable at one point, e.g. deliberately telling yourself how great you are. Don't aim for telling yourself that you're great or awesome, focus on noticing ways in which you did well or things are going well.

- the above "feeling good" book. It really hits the spot for some, but if it misses it for you, don't force it.

Good luck

Ontarian
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Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by Ontarian »

Feel like sharing this dhamma talk on the mindfulness of sexual desire. Very relatable, applicable, and helpful, in my opinion. The speak (a monk) was a student of Thích Nhất Hạnh. https://youtu.be/c8x0gXoJtAk

Crusader
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Re: Ontarian's Journal

Post by Crusader »

ertyu wrote:
Mon May 10, 2021 8:41 am
Ooooh boy can write a novel here :lol:
+1

I don't know if this is something to do with Eastern European parents, or whether this is just a bad combination with my personality and their personality, but I always had a challenging relationship with my parents. At one point in my 20s, I told them that I don't want to hear another word of criticism from them because I've had enough for my entire life, and I was very visibly upset and had to remind them of this frequently.

Now I seem to have the opposite problem. My mom always tells me that I am smart, handsome... etc etc, that it becomes almost creepy. But I think the main problem is that she still wants me to play life according to her rules, and if I don't, she is genuinely upset/unhappy/depressed or outright angry, even if she hides it behind the praise. I don't really know how to navigate all of this, especially if I am always skeptical of my own interpersonal relationship skills due to being off to a bad start at home.

Sorry for hijacking the journal, (fellow) Ontarian, this just caught my attention.

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