Stahlmann's thoughts

Where are you and where are you going?
Stahlmann
Posts: 383
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2016 6:05 pm

Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Thu Dec 28, 2017 5:41 pm

[don't know how to be "productive" with problems, but... I'm definitely not happy]

After 5 day x 3 week x 4 km walking habbit (coming back from work to home) I feel discomfort in Calcaneal spur (nope, haven't checked it with doc, I also don't collect problems, but they tend to "catch me").

I also developed athlete's foot (haven't thought it's called this way in English) one more time, but in "new"(=not used in long time) pair of shoes. I try to wear off stuff I can find in the house, before I buy new. Mainly because I can't take care of new expensive stuff long enough.

Pretty pissed off... First thing is pretty major. Combined with the rest of my state of health I'm feeling a bit lost. Having to put so much effort in so basic activities makes me really depressed. I can back to bike (I upped my immune system a bit from last post), but I'm literary afraid of random bad thing which can happen to me... (what this time? accident? :()

Not feeling "internal pain" (consequences of not taking mental health as more serious issue in the past) and physical pain (from injuries) are the most significant advantages of taking SSRIs. I ponder on long term problems with taking antidepressants... Got told today that standard therpy has to last for 6-24 months.

I will get raise in my work in January. Don't know what to think about it. Atmosphere is good, there are projects to do. But... I think I'm in situation "don't know what I don't know".

More during weekend.

Stahlmann
Posts: 383
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2016 6:05 pm

Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Thu Jan 18, 2018 8:08 pm

Woke up after 3-4h of sleep. I'll probably get the rest around 6 AM. I need to wake up to work for 7AM.

If God(s) exist(s), they're real motherfucker(s).

Bipolar is a bitch from the hell.

Stahlmann
Posts: 383
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2016 6:05 pm

Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Wed Mar 07, 2018 12:27 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Vj092UgKwQ
Time for next confession :lol:
I wanted to use fancy “feedback loops to organizing situations”, but it’s not so easy to do even in mind map software… #firstworldproblems

I use a lot “…”, because… Well, I’m not idiot, I’m able to know there are different “models” to deal with my problems, but changing habits/beliefs is pretty hardcore… I also want to present “models” which aren’t popular here (yep, I’m socialist)…
(I spend a lot of time of being die-hard libertarian in high school, but “mental masturbation” for believing that no mercy, “free” market solutions discussed by people who hate state intervention, but works in higher education system funded by taxpayer it’s a bit ridiculous (hello Rothbard fans!) (no charity principle today) ...
(people with a lot agency will try to stay with capitalist side of solutions [there are lot of them here], but for me it’s Stockholm syndrome)

“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."
I don’t like this cliché that “You are socialist, because you’re loser”. Not everybody can be programmer in Silicon Valley…
I also get often told that I “think too much”, I’d to say it’s connected with perspective… but I can admit I could be smarter with my life choices…

So…

HEALTH:
- I stress a lot in work, but I’m not responsible for anything… and I’m on 15 k PPP USD level of earnings… (http://salaryconverter.nigelb.me/), even gigants like Waren Buffet says there’s class struggle.. if my/your boss didn’t want to share his profits, less taxes wouldn’t change his attitude… (hint! hint! my fellow bohemian capitalists…)
- I’m cheating myself with taking a lot of herbs (this shit can be really strong) (the only real expense in my budget recently, pretty big) for my blood pressure/wellbeinf… I think being able to admit that something is fucked… with personality “I know everything better” is pretty hard (recently I heard this why people become doctors, they can “ground” even other high power people)
- drugs on WHO list are cheaper, but I can’t manage to go to cardiologist
- “good advice” on changing habits is difficult to accept…
- the same for my fungus infection, can’t eradicate this shit
- I think my health is in pretty shitty condition and major obstacle now

WORK:
- got raise in February, changed the conditions to “timed employment contract” (for 3 months, they still test me)
- I could earn more on “one-person company” solution (some way of contracting), but this method relies on giving more power to employer and stripping “social security”… and I’m firm believer that giving power to the the people with more knowledge isn’t good… (I’d be responsible for my errors with my full fortune; the issue of vacations is discussable)
- though my friends who I’d think would never loose security chose this way of employment
actually did this, they escaped this difficult range of low earning where saving is hardcore to do (they industry is a bit more generous)
- after staying 17 years in education system 10% higher pay than in local Wal-Mart doesn’t satisfy my (it isn’t solved like in Scandinavian countries)
- I’m easy to be pushed around… “we’re makers of our deals”… but…

MONEY:
- full parasite on parents
- though I spend considerable amount of earnings
- I consider somehow to enter “consumerism”, just to avoid difficult conversations…; “I lived longer than you so I heard much more “good advice””; 500 PLN would be low price for the last 25 years of golden spoon…
- Recognition (29): 13,07.95 PLN Loads (283):-2 921.62 PLN for last 6 months
- yep, it’s easy if you have warm house in suburbia and full fridge… and “ousourced” this cost…
STAYING SANE/HAVING FUN
- “ther’s need to be touched”
- too cheap for prostitution
- can’t fit “real man TM”…

this post will be edited, time to do some food…
ARGH, I’m staying here and editing this post…

wood
Posts: 313
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by wood » Wed Mar 07, 2018 4:21 am

If I were in your shoes, I'd start by cutting down on the herb. If you're taking it habitually it is likely to be a net negative in your life because it slows and dumbs down your thinking, makes you indifferent, shortsighted and lazy. You seem smart, but helpless.

ThisDinosaur
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Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2015 9:31 am

Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by ThisDinosaur » Wed Mar 07, 2018 6:47 am

Stahlmann wrote:
Wed Mar 07, 2018 12:27 am
(yep, I’m socialist)…

I don’t like this cliché that “You are socialist, because you’re loser”. Not everybody can be programmer in Silicon Valley…

after staying 17 years in education system 10% higher pay than in local Wal-Mart doesn’t satisfy my
One reason people become socialists is they are losers who covet the wealth of winners. Another reason is that they are idealists who think Good People share and Bad People don't. Bad People should be made to share for the good of society. If you think that way it will be harder to see the main flaw with socialism is motivation. Its a psychological truth that no one will give "from each according to his ability" if he doesn't personally benefit from his activity. So the socialist society becomes less productive. The rat will stop hitting the lever if he stops getting the pellet.

On the flip side, someone who accounts for ubiquitous selfishness will think Atlas Shrugged is awesome and explains everything. They will undervalue the importance of regulating unrestrained selfishness. They will recognize that all tax is theft from disfavored groups and giving to favored groups. Even a law against violence is restricting those willing+able to be violent in exchange for more freedom to those who are not.

Jason
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Jason » Wed Mar 07, 2018 9:17 am

It's no secret that socialism is watered down Christianity, except the compassion is coerced.

(1) Original State

Christianity - Garden Of Eden - vertical peace with God, horizontal peace with each other;
Socialism - Equality - Vertical peace with state, horizontal peace with each other;

(2) Disruption of Original State

Christianity - Appearance of Sin (Serpent);
Socialism - Appearance of Private Ownership of Means of Production;

(3) Savior Required to Restore Original State

Christianity - Jesus Christ
Socialism - Government;

4) Restoration of Original State;

Christianity - Heaven;
Socialism - Socialist State (which is really capitalist society with equal distribution);

It's a theology disguised as a socio-political/economic ideology. That's why rich people can be socialists i.e. we all get Rolls Royces.

ThisDinosaur
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by ThisDinosaur » Wed Mar 07, 2018 9:33 am

@Jason
How do you account for Marx being an atheist, then?

Christ is often humorously described as a working-class jewish socialist in order to contrast him to his rich American conservative followers. While its atheist bourgeoisie intellectuals that tend to push socialist policies. How do you account for that?

Jason
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Jason » Wed Mar 07, 2018 10:03 am

Marx's very atheism accounts for him taking the Christian paradigm, removing the heteronomous/metaphysical accountability, and instilling it with a socio-politico accountability. It's what good atheists do. They have a good understanding of what they disagree with but at the same time borrow from it. If you notice in Marxist thought, which like all thought is not monolithic, it has various understandings of human nature i.e. optimistic vs. pessimistic. Same as Christianity.

If you think all conservatives are rich, you really aint been paying attention. And if you think all atheist bourgeoise intellectuals are poor, you ain't seen Noam Chomsky's spread. Or for that matter, Steven Spielberg's.

There is debate within Christianity if it espouses a type of socialism as before the entrance of sin in the world, it was a shared garden. Private property only came after the fall. So it's not as though all Christians are rabid capitalists. Some with actually espouse a a more socialist view of wealth distribution i.e. the Kennedy strain of Roman Catholicism.

The closest example of a sustained, pure socialist society was the Israeli Kibbutz system, but as human nature is wont to do, it evolved/devolved (according to your viewpoint) into private ownership.

ThisDinosaur
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by ThisDinosaur » Wed Mar 07, 2018 10:44 am

I wasn't saying all conservatives are rich. I was pointing out that Christian conservatives worship a figure who disagrees with their politics. And atheist liberals agree with christs politics while ridiculing those who worship him. These two groups appear to be the loudest in American public discourse.

Jason
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Jason » Wed Mar 07, 2018 12:12 pm

Christianity does not argue for one political system. Jesus did not say "Thou must be a socialist." He actually said "render to Caesar that which are Caesar's", meaning "operate within the system in which you live." That's why some argue that America, due its origins in rebellion, was actually founded on anti-Christian principals (not coincidentally, they tend to be British Christians). The most compelling arguments I have heard for which political system best represents Christianity is actually a monarchical system as Christians worship a King and Jesus just so happens to be that that very King. Although the argument is more complex that that. Montaigne (not a Christian) commented that Christians make the best citizens because they do not see the state as the ultimate arbiter of their destiny and are less prone to rebellion. That being said, Christians can rationalize which system best represents their theology, but it is a far from a universally held opinion. The bible simply does not specially state a corresponding system. Calvin, the greatest post-Augustinian theologian, seemed to favor an Aristocratic Republicanism, similar to the founding fathers. Certain movements within Christianity are more associated with politics i.e. the liberation theology that formed a basis for Martin Luther King Jr.'s social doctrine.

On the same account, atheist liberals are not necessarily arguing for Christ's politics. And being that most Christians tend to politically align themselves on moral, not economic issues, it really is an argument that has no material impact.

Anecdotally speaking, Evangelical's Christianity's support of Israel expresses how any type of political alignment is merely coincidental. Christians and Jews have been fighting for two thousand years now, but because certain evangelical Christians (George W. in particular) think that Christ is actually going to return to the land that is now identified as Israel, they are great financial supporters of the state of Israel. And of course, Israel is not rejecting that money. No one cares about all the illogical, ancillary issues.

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Riggerjack
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Riggerjack » Wed Mar 07, 2018 3:27 pm

I use a lot “…”, because… Well, I’m not idiot, I’m able to know there are different “models” to deal with my problems, but changing habits/beliefs is pretty hardcore… I also want to present “models” which aren’t popular here (yep, I’m socialist)…
(I spend a lot of time of being die-hard libertarian in high school, but “mental masturbation” for believing that no mercy, “free” market solutions discussed by people who hate state intervention, but works in higher education system funded by taxpayer it’s a bit ridiculous (hello Rothbard fans!) (no charity principle today) ...
(people with a lot agency will try to stay with capitalist side of solutions [there are lot of them here], but for me it’s Stockholm syndrome)

“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."
I don’t like this cliché that “You are socialist, because you’re loser”. Not everybody can be programmer in Silicon Valley…
I also get often told that I “think too much”, I’d to say it’s connected with perspective… but I can admit I could be smarter with my life choices…

So…

HEALTH:
- I stress a lot in work, but I’m not responsible for anything…
You were so close... Then missed. It's like seeing myself 20-25 years ago.

Let me start with the socialist thing. I was raised this way. I understand the appeal. And I have since changed my mind. I have also ranted on here against it. Today, I'm going to advise you to forget about it.

Because how the world works, on a grand scale, is nearly irrelevant to the parts of your life you keep complaining about. So let the "world spirit" run the world, you need to fix you.

Agency. It's presented like some people have it, and some don't, and there isn't anything to be done about it.

But agency is a pattern. When presented with a problem, your brain will spit out potential solutions. Most will stay in the brain, but one will be strong enough to be chosen. Usually not the best solution, not even the most appropriate solution, or the easiest. Most likely, the solution chosen will be the one chosen most often before. Our brains are really good at establishing and maintaining patterns, and will categorize everything other than complete failure as a form of success.

Evolutionary pressure classifies anything that leads to living long enough to reproduce as a success. You have made it to physical maturity. This is success. You may not be happy, or be popular with the ladies, but none of that matters to most of your brain.

So, how to fix this. You have to make small changes. You have to focus on the successes. You need to cut off thoughts of failures. And that is a bitch.

Today, I am going to ask you to fix something. Anything. And have a visual reminder of that success. Because you mentioned it, and it makes such a great example, let's start with athlete's foot.

This is a fungus, living everywhere. It's in you shoes, socks, shower, carpet, the air you breathe, and if you tent your house and fumigate, it'll move back as soon as you air your place out. This isn't a quick fix.

So, first, clean. Clean shoes, sheets, socks, shower, etc. Now soak your feet for 20 minutes in a 10% bleach solution. Then rinse. Dry thoroughly, and air dry after. Let your skin return to normal oils. Now rub in some ointment for yeast infection, available at every pharmacy. (While there, look at active ingredients, foot cremes will have the same stuff, at half the strength, and twice the money, at least that's how it is in the US.)

The creme works by stopping fungal cell division. It doesn't kill fungus, it just greatly reduces it's reproduction. Use it consistently. Soon, you won't need to and you'll be tempted to stop. Don't. Keep it up for a few weeks, twice a day, soak, rinse, dry, ointment. Then cut back to just cleaning your feet twice a day, and staying dry. Any time your feet get wet, fix that.

And then you are symptom free and feel like you have this beat, but fungal spores are out there, all the time. If you give them a home, they will move in. And you are back where you started.

Now, with these spores everywhere, why do some people have athlete's foot and some don't? Because some people keep dry feet, and some don't. Me, in the summer, when my feet sweat, I pack two pair of socks in my lunch bag, because I will change my socks once or twice at work. Got to stay dry.

And the problem is gone. It's not a life changing thing. It won't fix everything. It will fix something. And you should keep a clean old sock or something to remind you to keep it up, and remind you of the success.

And it's that last part that is critical. The reminders of successes. It sounds like hippy dippy BS. You may be tempted to blow this off. But this is how you reinforce the pattern of making different choices leading to good results. This is how you build agency.

Here is a link to a psychologist talking about the brain chemistry involved, and how SSRIs can effect it.
http://slatestarcodex.com/2018/02/07/gu ... otivation/

I don't generally read the journals, so if you have any questions, probably best to quote me so I get a notification. Good luck!

Jason
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Jason » Thu Mar 08, 2018 7:39 am

And in case you're worried, "the feet of industry" are alluded to in the Communist Manifesto so it's not as though you are necessarily taking on a Capitalistic ideology here.

Jason
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Jason » Sat Mar 10, 2018 6:36 am

ThisDinosaur wrote:
Wed Mar 07, 2018 9:33 am
@Jason
How do you account for Marx being an atheist, then?
For the record - Yes, Marx was not a Christian, but Hegel, the basis of Marx's dialectical view of history, identified as one. By Christian standards, Hegel was a heretic, but by German idealist standards, he was just unorthodox as he denied much of the historical basis of Christianity. This resulted in his replacement of the tripartite Creation/Fall/Redemption Christian view of history with a tripartite dialectical view of history - the thesis/antithesis/thesis model - that Marx worked with. Marx was actually the result of the left wing anti-Christian Hegelians triumph over the right wing pro-Christianity Hegelians but that's another issue. In any event, that's the historical basis as to why you see the correspondence in the structures of the two thought systems.

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:11 am

Tasks for this week:
- not using pc after work: 3x fail
- pigging out after work: 3x fail

I'm gonna spam you with that :lol:

slowtraveler
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by slowtraveler » Thu Mar 15, 2018 2:43 am

Not pigging out or using PC seem ambitious. Especially if they are effective distractions.

Is there an easier goal to build confidence like walking a block or meditating for 1 minute? Then steadily Increasing each week or day.

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Wed Mar 21, 2018 2:25 am

Ok, tri/biweekly updates seem more realistically...

Last week highlights:
- 7x pigging out
- 6x staying late

On good side:
- went to public meeting and tried speaking German
- 4x 50min walks coming back from work (but this rather habit)


Plan for this week:
- thinking about using bike to get to work. There is shower but I can't find heater to take care of my towel (only office hvac solution)
- find better things to do in the evening
- pool on the weekend 1-2x
- find way to have moister food from pressure cooker

Time for The Man...

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Thu Mar 29, 2018 5:55 pm

Thanks for the replies.
I'm too tired to answering or I just don't see sense to prove somebody was right/wrong on the internet (this tough part).

Pretty hypomaniac this week... 2-3 hr sleep. Planned to do something this weekend (guys connected with some idea of supernatural being won this 1 more free day! thank you :) ). Something is wrong, because I see holiday on Sunday, so... They told me that we work according to the Work Codex.
I dont know how solve such problems. Am I an idiot? or... they? Anyway.

(it's like I speak to myself, but feel free join my musings)

1. Bought Investments and Boat Keeping from Der Fuhrerliste. Looking for Tightwad Gazette. So bipolar!
2. I thought crunched this basic chemicals in home. Order will be soon.
3. I need rehash of 48 Laws of power for Internet Cowboys with Avoidance Syndrome... The fact the team is pretty young is rather misleading... I don't know how to show that I'm not "small slave", but as somebody said to me... my replies are like thunders... ("Why are you late?" mentally: HOW ABOUT THERE WAS TRAFFIC JAMS; semi conciouslly: I was having sex with your mother... in real life: I'm sorry (red face of anger but being quiet and wet dreams of universal basic income...)
a) there is joke in my language: most people who say "I understand" really didn't get the point of command :lol: I need closers, because people tend to make converssations longer just because I started to process the task...
b) being know as rice, ketchup and pumpkin (this shit was 25% of the price!!! I was so happy to see principles in work) guy I need to put money in being professional... ARGH!!! (black boots, haircut - I can't spot this e905e in kgs..., don't know if polo tshirts are alright - only Very Important Guys wear long sleeve shirts)
c) coming back to this discussion when TPH used heasphones in work... I'm planning doing the same... Advice?
4. I need fancy text on how you should deal with ripe age of your parents. I followed Sclass journey here. My position: I just don't know. #justleavetheplanetasyouhaveencounteredit #peterzappfe . This why I don't want to have kids.
5. Did simple crookpots dishes (rice or kasha or unpeeled beetroots or pumpkins). Did just bread from flour+milk+eggs+sugar (what kind of extravagance :D)
6. Switched to bike. Today I encountered snow :D Found info on special towels which dries faster.
7. I listened today to millenials expectation debate between guy 1,5x my age and 2,5x my age (I sit close to More Important Guys). Needed to calm harshly. How about crab mentality? How about your strategy is based on influx of new people? How about finite planet? How about you have resentiment about your decisions in life? Stayed quiet (victory). They wouldn't be so smart with rakes in their asses.



I was self help junkie back then.

For repetition I"ll post what was interesting from Eben Pagan on 77 laws:
[00:01:47] Number one accept everything the way it is. Accept everything the way it is. The reason that this is number one is because I believe most people don't accept the world they don't accept reality. They don't confront things as they are they wish the world was different they wish women were different they wish their situation were different and so they whine and they bitch and they complain and they act like a victim and they do things that are ineffective because they're living in a pretend world. Step 1. Close your eyes. Accept everything the way it is just accept things. Once you've accepted things the way they are and you've confronted reality now you can start to change things. Now you have power to redirect how things go as you live your life into the future. [00:02:44][57.0]

Ability of such speeh recognition is pretty hardcore :O

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Mon Apr 09, 2018 12:30 pm

So next week passed... How fast... It's 700 PM, it was 500 PM few glimpses ago..

* don't know what to do with mental health... Last week was in terms of sleep: 6,0,0,0,3,4,9 h ... I'm going to normal now... I'm under professional help, but... we work out something then there is this period of 1-2 mo. ... shit can get crazy...
* still can't reappoint meeting with cardiologist from January... hard to hear sad truths as INTP with grandiosity complex... EKG books are downloaded... I need to call them in special time frames on Monday or Friday... I work or I'm involved in Dilbert's scenes... waking up with red face everyday makes me worrisome...
* 3 day strike with bikig to the work (and coming back)
* if nothing interrupts my sleep in the following days/weeks I'll plan to go at 7AM to work, this means waking up 530 AM... there is this trick that during this 1hr you can work with less supervision etc... nothing better to do anyway...
* plan for next month is to get closer to eating like flour+eggs+milk/lard+vegetables from sales and DIYing this combination... beans and lentils aren't that cheap compared to the cheapest meat... at least on supermarket level... country is monocultural... however I'll try to follow Indian folks... they have better phones and clothes anyway :lol: ...
* there is strong aversion to any kind of work when I care about outcome... I need to reframe this... sound like BS, will continue in next post
* tnij.at/ERE is on my (multi-intra)daily grind, but... day by day I think aggregate perspective presented in stream is totally different than mine... very frustrating... so I'll probably opt out soon... magic query like "site:forum.earlyretirementextreme.com existential problem" is closer to my heart
* very often I open thread then write one sentence... then close it... I won in my mind, fool :lol:

730 PM

Time for cooking!

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Mon Apr 09, 2018 4:20 pm

Help yourself!
https://i.imgur.com/Dv5NQ2P.jpg

Idea of reading 800 page textbook as before sleep book wasn't the best one -,-

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Mon Apr 16, 2018 11:51 pm

CLOSE FAMILY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG6pEolAKm8
https://lyricstranslate.com/en/dni-ktor ... w-yet.html
(maybe not so dramatic as in this song)

Black swan occured, not in the form of "The Killer", but... anyway. Hope these folks with hardcore hand skills will do everything good tomorrow. Don't know if visit him today... "I cross my fingers, kkthxbb" "Thanks. How is your job?" "..."

Why is this important? This will pretty painful to see man's loosing of his vitality... And it's of course world-class difficult to advice 2,5x older guy from Better Generation to "don't do this for your/our health"... And with age some nasty qualities of human character can go wild as something "changes" with the brain... That I was greedy, spoiled etc..

This is why I'm practically go insane when people mention to have kids (in discussion, and when it's directed to me/my life/my choices).
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dXT8_abP9Fg/U ... values.png

Stahlmann
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Sat Apr 28, 2018 6:39 am

Ok, my first paid vacations started... I'm not responsible for anything important, so they won't (probably) call me.


Felt a bit "fucked" yesterday, because I stayed 3hr more (for the fist time in 2-3 months). Need to rethink what happened (received task, which was due to yesterday, because not doing it would mean I have to come back on Monday). Maybe just pleasing the boss would be the answer.

So I hope:
0. Recharge my batteries.
1. I won't spend much time arguing viewpoints on the internet.
2. Finally set the appointment to cardiologist (on my way pocket)... Yesterday I did it on govt money, but I received meeting in October.. Just stupid mistake of staying a bit late in job in January ARGH ARGH ARGH.
3. So I need to confess something to my fellow Cheapskate Anonymous... I'm owner of the car. Insurance is due to expire. "Full safety consumer prolongation" is 2,1k PLN per year (big cut applies also when you're 25 or above, guess how old I'm ... ARGH ARGH) ... The cheapest way to cut this is to re-register the car to ONLY for mother or father (of course in SHTF scenario I there would be big problem; in case where one of my parents is co-owner, they probably demand to pay kid reduced fee and a bit reduced parent fee us "promotion" ARGH ARGH ARGH).

Making car as the asset is difficult. I'm not "contractor" so working for the uber needs to pay 300-600 to somebody who owns the business (still cheaper than being business owner by myself, but don't know legal issues). ARGH ARGH ARGH. Uber Eats enters my area, but I think with my bike I won't be able to participate.

The family plan is/was to make good credit score for me... but if ever I obtain high earning job, the thing to do is saving as crazy motherfucker.

4. Thinking about taking bike/backpack and go through voivodeship. Folks from buschraft communities say the ticks are the biggest problem (not lack of water, not animals, not other people)... Haven't thought about vaxxxing before... ARGH.

Stahlmann
Posts: 383
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Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Tue May 15, 2018 4:49 pm

I hope I can omit personal pronoun when I'm writing lists in English. :lol:

- Need to gain some "positive points" in work, some part of my performance wasn't good recently. If anybody wants to share how to impress The Boss, feel free to join the convo. Looking for the way to respond some shit talk in joking manner... Yep, in my case having prepared script is better way to handle things...
- Need to find to way to relax after work... Try to be more productive in system perspective, but it's still difficult... Mind wanders randomly after work
- Switched to Intermittent Fasting (2-4-6 feast window). It can help in falling asleep, but I'll try introducing 2h "pause" before sleep. Planning "real"(=water) fasting or 500 kcal/day approach from from Thursday's evening to Sunday's evening.
- Mood swings still can destroy everything -.-"

Stahlmann
Posts: 383
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2016 6:05 pm

Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Sat May 19, 2018 6:03 pm

adapting brute's method of writing. I like his clarity of thought. so much faster without using shift :lol:

need to find way to vent human need for social interaction, the next evening has been wasted on doing this online -.-"

experienced this a bit often IRL https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steppenwolf_(novel)

User avatar
Seppia
Posts: 462
Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2016 9:34 am
Location: Italy

Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Seppia » Sun May 20, 2018 1:55 am

Stahlmann wrote:
Tue May 15, 2018 4:49 pm
If anybody wants to share how to impress The Boss, feel free to join the convo.
Be polite
Be dependable/reliable
Be honest
Work hard when needed
Show some sporadic interest in the lives of a few coworkers and the boss'

If you do the above consistently for 1+ year and your boss still doesn't appreciate you, the problem is you have the wrong boss

Stahlmann
Posts: 383
Joined: Fri Sep 02, 2016 6:05 pm

Re: Stahlmann's thoughts

Post by Stahlmann » Sun May 20, 2018 2:36 am

Thanks for joining, Seppia ;)
I'm probably an idiot who can't express yourself and then I complain nobody can understand me :D :lol:

The case is as follows:
The Boss treats me like he was the senior and I was a junior (as in terms of JS, HS hierarchy). Teasing and so on. Still better than micromanagement. In the past, I simply walked away (this is why I don't have any friends :lol:) or used "I had sex with your mother"-yo mama jokes (1 minute later improving my 1km time)... I don't do this anymore! So I feel like https://giphy.com/gifs/original-hEc4k5pN17GZq and try to adhere to "just shut up"-technique. The problem is this can make you perceived as sissy in male dominated group -.-".


The biggest problem is acquiring useful skills from other people (like life isn't Scantron test and not everything is written in the books) and then moving somewhere else.
Last edited by Stahlmann on Sun May 20, 2018 2:46 am, edited 3 times in total.

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