Better late than never I suppose.
I had a couple interesting things happen recently
1) I paid my parents back for the down payment on the house. Now I only owe the bank
2) I fell off the bandwagon (hence the lack of posting)
First, charts!
Net worth by yearly expenses (yearly expenses updated from avg 2016)
Monthly expenses
January was a pretty fucked up month from an expenses standpoint, and it's going to continue into February. It seems bills line up at the beginning of the year. All this before our renos on the house start. I'm feeling the weight of owning a house that's for sure. In theory all of the Jan expenses are amortized from previous months but I think they will continue for the next couple months as well.
The band wagon could have been a couple things. I've been dreaming of handing in my notice over the last couple months in order to pursue more creative efforts, but it doesn't fit with the life plan. I've been dreaming of continuing my efforts with gardening but the season doesn't permit. I've been dreaming of getting through this whole season on my bike, but both my and the bike's will is draining. It's in need of some serious repair and can't make it below -18c anymore.
There are so many times in my life where I've wondered "how does everyone else do it"? My father worked (still works) 30 years at the same company without batting an eye. Colleagues and friends have seemingly no purpose to live.
I had an interesting conversation with a family friend who encouraged me to work 12 hour days to get noticed by my superiors so that I could get promoted. I asked him "why" and his answer was textbook. Cottages, cars, lifestyle that he enjoyed while he was growing up. My close friend recently stated that owning a desktop computer was a liability and a money sink. You can't own one without purchasing a new $1000 graphics card every year (or two with SLI). How have people found meaning with these purchases? How does anyone find meaning with any purchase?
Anyway, I'm aware of the sound of this journal so I will move on. I recently attended a "how to start a community garden" workshop at the local library. There were 15 or so attendees who were for the most part highly accomplished gardeners looking to give back to the community. I just went since it was in the local newspaper and I was curious of the types of people that would attend. The amount of priceless gardening experience that was thrown around as part of the discussion was incredible. Nobody really was interested in talking about community garden creation, but rather their experience with growing vegetables and their trials and tribulations. Some were waging war on squirrels wile others on ground hogs. It's experiences like these that give me meaning for some reason.
I blame 7wannabe5 a bit for my melancholy. She suggested on a random post the book "The ecotechnic future". It has proven to be a pessimistic read, as many future looking environmental books are. On the one hand, you as an individual can do everything in your power to live on a small carbon footprint, but constant evidence from your peers every day shows you that the book is right and that we're all fucked. The book strives to find a more "K selected ecology" where we have more cyclical processes for consumption and production, but such a thing can only happen post apocalypse. It's an interesting read, but is effecting my mood clearly.
