Gus' road to retirement

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Augustus
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Sat Sep 23, 2017 2:44 pm

Augustus wrote:
Fri Aug 25, 2017 4:44 pm
My plan is thus:
I think that I can FIRE in 2 years if I try hard enough and things don't go wrong.
Well that plan didn't last long. My wife's boss was a jerk, she started having trouble sleeping at night because of him, so we agreed she should quit and focus on her master's. So that drops from 100k per year of savings to around 60 or 70k, as I am now covering her groceries gas etc, as well as her half of the shared bills. Bummer.

I am hoping I can find a second contract to cover that extra expense and keep a 100k savings rate, but who knows. I feel like 40% of a person now that I'm back to work. The big picture, mindfulness, etc are a lot harder to keep ahold of. I don't want to get too busy and lose more of myself, but obviously the faster I can save the sooner I can claim my version of retirement (3 mos of work a year).

Augustus
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:09 am

On the plus side, I found an old retirement account and it had more money in it than I thought, my net worth has hit 570k. My swr is 6.something% I'd be more excited if I didn't think we were hanging by a thread over a 10-20% correction. Still, great news!

I've been on the prowl for a second contract, I've got one bite and a few nibbles, but nothing signed yet. Will keep looking.

I've been enjoying watching globe trekker travelogues lately, and came across a great bukowkski quote, which is cool considering I've never thought I'd like bukowkski, it's always good to see there are surprises in what you thought was already known.

"We're all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn't. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing."

Augustus
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Sat Dec 09, 2017 2:03 pm

I've decided to pivot. For years I have wanted to write some applications and sell them. I think now is the time. I've got a year or so runway with the current contract, and I am going to try to bootstrap a small business selling my own software products, instead of selling my time. The contract market seems pretty crappy right now, there are contracts out there, and I've talked with a dozen or so businesses interested in contracting, but they all demand full time onsite, which to me is ridiculous, given that I've been full time offsite for the last 8 years, and I'm currently working a pretty decent offsite one right now. It is compounded by the fact that we moved out of california a few years back, and the local culture is much more fulltime onsite oriented. I have seen a few gigs come through that aren't but the wages are less than half what I can make in california, and we're moving back next year, sooo, now is an ideal time to get that software business up and running. I've got financial runway, and I've got time, well, part time at least, the current gig takes about half of my day. I think that this is my make or break for this idea, I've talked about it for years, I've made a few thousand bucks in a few half assed attempts, but I've never made it a long lasting viable source of income, and I need to either put up or shut up and close the book on this instead of kicking around ideas that I never put into practice.

This is a time of transition. For the last 8 years finding good offsite contracts has been easy for me, not so anymore. It seems to be an industry change, as the other 3 or 4 people I know who do the same thing are also having trouble, same story over and over, full time onsite only. So, things are changing. The good news is that I am also changing. When I'm done with this contract, I should have about 2200 in passive income. My wife should also be back to work and contributing 2200 to our household expenses. So I'll have around 4400 per month coming in, maybe more, I'm being conservative on the rental income. Unfortunately, my own rent will be around 2800 in california, yuck. Total expenses including rent around 5800. So that leaves a 1400 per mo shortfall where I have to bring in more money. In 3 years that will drop by 1000 per month when my kid enters kindergarten and we stop paying for daycare, leaving a 400 per mo shortfall. So I'm closing in on a time where I wont need so much income from contracting, and I won't be so reliant on it.

In the longer term, my wife wants to work the next 10 years so that she can buy a rental with her own money. I plan to acquire one more (purchase price $200k, pay off half and let tenants pay off the rest) or put an equivalent amount in securities, as well as buy a home in CA and get it paid off over 15 years. That would see us sitting around 3000 per month in expenses, with over 3000 a month in passive income when we hit 45. The expenses will probably be less, and the income higher in reality. 2000 in expenses is pretty easily doable, and 3500 in income should be reasonable as well. But I try to aim for worst case scenarios.

Considering all of those numbers, my goal is to work hard on this current contract for 1-2 more years, then after that no matter what I'm going to switch to 50% on 50% off, contract work, ideally 6 months on 6 months off until I save up enough for the last 2 real estate purchases. If I can get the software business up and running then I stop even sooner. Paying off the CA house over 15 years is relatively easy, I just need to pay an additional 15k or so per year, which is 2 months of contract work. I'm planning on working about least 3 months a year regardless until I hit my 50s, the 3rd month is for fun money after I make the final rental purchase. A 3 month on, 9 month off work schedule seems like a nice life balance to me.

Who knows if any of this will pan out :) The other scenario is that I bust my ass full time for the next 4-5 years to get the final accumulation finished and then coast after. But I'd rather switch to a 3-6 mo work, 9-6 mo break scenario each year, even though it'll take 10 years instead of 4-5. There's also the scenario where I REALLY bust my ass, find and juggle 2-3 contract gigs, and make as much as I did at my peak. and finish in 2-3 years. But honestly, that is soul sucking. My out of this world dream ideal outcome is that the software product business actually works, and I make a good 5k per month, and then I stop working for other people altogether, except for fun money a month or two a year. It is actually kind of fun to do a 1-2 month kick ass contract gig, you learn new stuff, meet new people, and it's not too long to become unfun before you can quit.

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bryan
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by bryan » Sat Dec 09, 2017 6:10 pm

Dooo it! Kick ass!

Augustus
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Wed Mar 21, 2018 7:25 pm

It's been too long. @bryan I appreciate the encouragement! I think half the reason I haven't posted is because I've been dealing with a series of setbacks and haven't made as much progress on my apps as I'd wanted. I was hoping to finish my online degree in December, but I didn't finish until this week. The contract I started in September has gone down hill, and I found a replacement last month, which has led to me juggling more than I want, which should calm down mid next month as I wind down the first contract. Then we're planning to move in June, and I need to prep that by getting rid of things like baby furniture and things I haven't unboxed since our last move 3 years ago. Anything I haven't used I'm getting rid of or selling if it's worth my time.

Overall, I'm making progress or holding ground, but I'm sad I didn't get farther in my apps than a foundation that can consume some e-commerce apis and do some mvc basics. Still, it's a start. I'll plan to pick it back up in July once things settle.

Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Mister Imperceptible » Sat Apr 07, 2018 2:48 pm

Hi Augustus, I finally got around to reading your journal after receiving some valuable input from you in multiple community threads. Awesome journal. Glad you are making so many strides. I hope you can work thru your recent setbacks. Hopefully your wife doesn’t torpedo your budget with “clothes purchases necessary to compete in the workplace.”

Curious, where were you before moving back to SoCal? I’m guessing Denver, by the Subaru purchases, and the unwillingness of many Californians I have known to leave the western US, because after all “the west is the best.” :roll:

I repeatedly advise my friend in SF to buy rental real estate in a low cost of living area, and remain a renter in California. I wouldn’t want that state hammering me for income and property taxes. Also, you yourself have acknowledged how the Chinese have bid up the real estate there to unsustainable levels. His objective is to get to $200k (he is ALL IN on FAANG stocks), so he can make a 20% down payment on a $1mil house. Any strategy where success means getting an $800k mortgage seems like a bad plan to me.

Where are you moving to?

Augustus
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Sat Apr 07, 2018 9:19 pm

@MI Thanks! It inspired me to take a walk down memory lane. Too many setbacks lately which is annoying, in the past 6 months I've paid out 30k for higher education, 4k for a tax mistake my accountant made, and 5k in medical bills. All of which depressingly means I've saved a grand total of 4k since January, and am -18k since 2017... Ugh... At least it should all be over now.

It did remind me I need to start back up on my reading list though, I really enjoyed that in the past. I'm currently on an astronomy kick revolving around Sagan's Cosmos book.

We're near Denver, but I don't like to be too specific considering I've revealed my net worth :) we're moving near LA, a bit south. Yeah the real estate is ridiculous in California, from what I can currently see you come out ahead by renting. The good news is that interest rates are causing prices to tumble a little. Apparently people actually have no interest in the objective value of a home, only their max monthly payment. I think the housing market in CA is going to take a serious dive, based on the reasoning that for the last 4 years prices have been ridiculously high because of the low interest rates and the bit about people only caring about max monthly payment amounts. It means that if interest rates rise, people who bought in the last 4 years won't be able to sell their homes for as much as they bought them for. Even a 5-10% dip in price, on a 700k house, puts people 30k+ underwater. You'd need an interest rate rise + a job market tightening for a major drop, and I think both are likely in the next few years. But we'll see... In the past 4 months I've seen a 20-30k drop in peak prices, which coincides with the interest rates ticking up. I'm shooting to buy in the next 2-3 years mostly because I hate moving, and I never want to move again. But I'll plan to pay it off very, very slowly because you make a better ROI with real estate out of state than you do paying off in California. In theory if I get one in a dip I'll lock in a lower monthly payment than average rents over the same period.

Augustus
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Sun Apr 08, 2018 7:08 pm

After rereading my journal I irritated myself because I realize that I flip flop a lot. A good friend pointed that out to me once, and I laughed at how right he was with his examples. But, I'm going to flip flop again :)

I read MMM's latest piece on confidence and money, and it really struck a chord with me. I think he's right, I'm not going to just quit working or making money when I "retire." So I don't need to plan as if I'll never make another dollar again. Which means I don't need to obsessively save to hit a 4% withdrawal rate, or less, because it's overkill.

My ever shifting retirement plan has always stayed constant in one respect: that I'd work 3-6 months a year. Because of this, I think I ought to slow down on accumulation, and just enact the plan, now.

I'll set a much more modest accumulation goal, 20k per year over 15 years. That still gets me my rentals, I just get less compounding. But it still covers the eventual cessation of work in old age, if I ever decide not to earn another dime, which I think is unlikely. One older gentleman I really respect was running his small architectural firm in his 80s, he only took work he liked, didn't work too much, and enjoyed the hell out of life.

One thing I've noticed again and again, is that early retirees often keep accumulating after they cut the cord, to the point where they have way more than they need, and their wealth starts getting a bit ridiculous, because it just keeps growing, and they could have "retired" sooner.

I'd rather start enjoying the rest of my 30s now, instead of stressing over building the perfect income stream. So, I plan to finish out this contract, and then take time off again. I think my hardest challenge is going to be saying no to contract extensions or new work. The accumulator in me always says don't pass up the opportunities that drop in your lap, take the money now, since you may not get one later, etc, etc. That's what happened last year during my test drive. Although granted I've had a really high burn rate with my wife's masters and medical bills, so I think it did end up being a good idea.

I'm not saying don't accumulate or don't worry about the future. But I am saying, if you get 60% of the way to your 4% or whatever you like for swr, you can probably start taking it easy. I hit 570k nw, and I feel like regardless I'm going to go north of 1M net worth, because I hate debt and I hate negative savings rate, that alone coupled with a 570k nw and an average 4% compounding rate means I hit 1M. 1M nw is kind of obscene, and embarrassing in it's own right because it's overkill.

Anyways, here's hoping. I'm done juggling multiple clients, and I'm looking forward to my next time off period when my current contract ends around November. Cheers!

P.s. after completing my bachelor's.. finally.. and being so sick of it at the end that I had to force myself to sit down and type the last paper and not get up until I finished because if I did I'd never come back.. I've decided that hey, why don't I study nursing?! Because that sounds fun right?! Humans are weird... We'll see. I've also variously thought about dedicating myself to being a musician for a few years too... A la https://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2722

Forcing myself to master the guitar for the next 7 years sounds awesome. Maybe I'll grow my hair long too :lol: I mean how cool would it be to switch from Enterprise corporate bull shit and soul sucking meetings to start being that guy who plays guitar in a bar for money..

suomalainen
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by suomalainen » Tue Apr 10, 2018 9:08 pm

Sounds like you've come around to your own version of money is a solved problem. Congrats and enjoy a newly designed life!

Augustus
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Wed Apr 11, 2018 3:20 pm

suomalainen wrote:
Tue Apr 10, 2018 9:08 pm
Thanks Finn! I had read that thread before, but did not grok it, or at least did not internalize it. Now, I grok. I completely get what you said in the thread about the starting line thing. It bothered me for a long time that I was constantly waiting to reach the goal, and that I was living not the best part of my life while waiting. When I made my realization above, specifically, that I would overshoot by a ridiculous margin my financial goals if I continued to earn money after reaching FI, and I realized that I could stop obsessing over accumulation right now, it felt like a tremendous stress had been removed from me. It's hard to enjoy life when you feel like you're behind.

I am trying to come to terms with what my change of plans means to me. It makes me laugh, because I started thinking, what does it mean now that I'll work 3-6 mos per year? I reacted with: OMG 6 mos off is not enough free time per year! I don't know exactly how I'll feel until I actually follow through. I took 3 months off last year, and I dreaded going back to work at the end, like an angsty teenager, it felt like the end of summer vacation. So I wonder if I'll be satisfied in the future if I continue to work. I remember having nothing set in stone for me to do each day during my time off, and I STILL felt like I didn't have enough hours in a day, and I was still very greedy and protective of my time overall.

That said, in theory, it does seem like 3-6 mos of work would be enough balance. If I had 6 mos off, would I still feel averse to working? If I had 9 mos off, would I still dread it? If I worked 1 year on and 1 year off would that feel better? I really don't know. During my time off I entered a completely different state of mind that I cannot enter while I'm working.

One other interesting experience I had when I took time off last year was that I had stocked up on what I considered to be retirement supplies before pulling the plug with work. I then proceeded to have ZERO interest in these things I had bought, i.e. video games, books, plans for adventures, plans for what I'd do on my first day/week/month with no work, etc when I was actually not working. They were a fantasy I had concocted while working, that did not apply in the mental state I entered when I stopped working. So now I realize that I just wont know how I'll feel about working, when I stop working, and the only way to find out is to...stop working.

When I stopped working I found that what I enjoyed most was spending about half a day learning something or building something, and half a day for nothing, as well as a few days that I called fuck all days, where I had absolutely no plan and no goals. If I went too far in either direction, i.e. i became too focused on productivity or enrichment, or I became a couch bound lazy ass, I started to get depressed.

Anyways, all this points me in the direction that I should indeed start taking time off now to see what will actually float my boat when I really am completely FI. Maybe I should try alternating amounts of time off. 1 year off, 1 year of work, 3 mos of work, 9 mos off, etc.

It may well end up that I will be very unhappy working at all haha, it's impossible to say until I take enough time off to see if the drive to work comes back to me. In that case, I could go back to hardcore accumulation mode and finish it up in a few years. But, if I do have a desire to continue working in "retirement," then I definitely want to avoid the overkill accumulation scenario. It seems inefficient to accumulate past 1 million, which is what I'd be on track for if I continue to want to work during retirement according to my currently theorized plans.

suomalainen
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by suomalainen » Wed Apr 11, 2018 8:46 pm

Augustus wrote:
Wed Apr 11, 2018 3:20 pm
I realized that I could stop obsessing over accumulation right now, it felt like a tremendous stress had been removed from me. It's hard to enjoy life when you feel like you're behind.
...
I am trying to come to terms with what my change of plans means to me.
...
I then proceeded to have ZERO interest in these things I had bought, i.e. video games, books, plans for adventures, plans for what I'd do on my first day/week/month with no work, etc when I was actually not working. They were a fantasy I had concocted while working, that did not apply in the mental state I entered when I stopped working.
...
If I went too far in either direction, i.e. i became too focused on productivity or enrichment, or I became a couch bound lazy ass, I started to get depressed.
I feel each of these quotes. My reach had far exceeded my grasp and my fantasy crumbled, so figuring out what to replace it with is what I'm grappling with now myself. Best of luck in drafting this new chapter in your life's story.

Augustus
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Sun Apr 15, 2018 11:38 pm

I finally ran some numbers, if I'm willing to average 6 months per year until 2032, or I guess less for longer, I hit my goals. It does get easier as time goes on though, because more and more expenses are covered each year since I'll be able to invest them and get a return, and because every time I hit 100k or so I can plow that into a rental and get about 400-500/mo, at least if my last 2 rentals are any indication. On the other hand, if I just power through at my current amount of work for 5 more years, I hit the same goal, 3 rentals each turning out 1k/mo.

The more I think about the less sure I am. 3 months per year is one thing. Am I willing to commit myself to 6 most per year for the next 15 years? From a different angle, since I'm planning to work a little each year anyways, will I want to work 6 mos per year? Or will it be less? If I'll want to work 6 mos per year when I hit FI, then it's stupid to keep working full years. If I won't want to work 6 mos per year when I'm FI, then it's stupid not to finish in 5 years.

Then there's the nature of my work. The good paying contracts usually start with 12 mos or less contracted and get extended for a few years. I haven't tried finding fixed length contracts and rejecting extensions before. I'm somewhat confident that I could, but it's not a certainty. I'm not sure if it would burn bridges.

Those are the profitable gigs, the less profitable gigs are out there and shorter, but you're doing more unpaid work finding them, and you're making less per month, like half. They're more flexible hours wise though, and much shorter, 1-3 mos usually.

The profitable gigs are the way to go in my opinion, you make double per month with less time spent marketing, but the question remains, how hard are they to keep finding and exiting after the original end date comes up. Most of the people doing these hop from project to project and work year round. I've started working through subcontracting firms since I have to do even less marketing as they do all that for you. In the past I did the marketing myself, but it's definitely not semi retirement friendly IMO because after putting your name out there, if you want to stop taking work, it undoes all the marketing work. I want to enter and exit the workforce as I please.

My half baked plan revolves around having 3-5 subcontracting firms on speed dial at any given time, pinging them to see what's available when I want to work, and making it clear that I'm looking for fixed length projects, one per year. It's a given that they probably won't like me dictating unusual terms, but I think they won't really care as long as I do good work and I finish out contracts, which is why it would get weird if I turn down extensions... Thus the need to find multiple firms and probably replace a few each year. It won't be as easy as if I were to just accept new projects and extensions and work year round.

So, bearing all the above in mind... I guess it really all comes back to me. Will I be happy or unhappy working 6 mos per year. If I get FI and find I'm happier working 6 mos per year, I can probably make it work using the half baked plan above. If I'm less happy working 6 mos per year, it's probably better to finish out hardcore accumulation then use a modified version of half baked plan where I do one contract every other year, or look for strictly short term 3-6 mos only.

Right now... I'm leaning towards a passive solution. My current contract goes to November, if it ends and they have more work right after I'll probably take it. If it keeps going past that it'll be up to my whims. If it's still going after 5 years it would be completely pointless to accept more long term work. I'll at least make it clear I'm taking 2-3 mos off between each gig. If it does not keep going, then I'll probably take a longer amount of time off, and look again in a year.

I'm kind of hoping the problem resolves itself. If the current gig goes 2-3 years, I feel like it's assured that I never have to try very hard again. My passive income at that point would be around 2200-2600 per month. My FI target is 3k/mo passive income. 5 years means it's pretty much pointless to work other than for fun money, which I like, completely discretional, if I want to buy a toy or go on a big trip, I can, if I don't, I don't work.

The 2-3 years scenario sounds appealing to me, since it's middle of the road, but I can't tell if I'm one more year syndroming myself, or if going half time now is just prolonging the pain, my situation is different because I'm not all stocks, I own my rentals directly, so it doesn't grow the same way, the rentals aren't going to have a baby rental, but I am making a profit and can invest those... Enacting the plan at the end of my current contract is appealing, but the idea of work not being discretionary makes me queasy. If I go just a few years longer... my passive income goes up, making it even easier to save when I work half time. If I go half time now, more of it gets eaten up my expenses that aren't offset by passive income, but honestly it would probably work out fine. Given my track record, I'm probably going to always earn more than I need. But who knows, there could be an inflection point where that's no longer true because I value my free time more than earning money.

I'll have to mull it more. I could also do a longer test drive. I'm REALLY curious how much I'll want to work after Fi. That's the critical factor in my decision. It would be downright stupid to overshoot the accumulation goals if I find that I LIKE working an average of 6 mos per year, a waste of my most precious commodity: Time. But I won't know the answer until I'm really taking a lot of time off, years probably.

Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Mister Imperceptible » Mon Apr 16, 2018 8:28 am

Well, you’ve said again and again that you want to dry run retirement. I’m going to play devil’s advocate and say that eating into the principal of your FI egg might conflict with your web of goals, and you’ll waste a lot of time trying to find new gigs as you move in and out of being employed. I was reading ffj’s journal and it struck me that he took a 4-day gig and realized even that was too long for him. He’s working blue collar jobs and he has to be there physically, while you work from home, but I don’t know how comfortable I would be with the idea that employment will be so easy to find. If we have some dreadful financial calamity a la the Great Depression, your employment gaps could really work against you and you might be forced to take non-remote work. That would make you really unhappy.

I’m relatively new here so I’m still figuring it all out, but I’m inclined to lean toward racing to FI as soon as possible, THEN taking your foot off the gas. But that’s easy for me to say, I have no children or plans to live in uber-expensive California, so that date might seem farther away for you. I would just hesitate to think you’ll always have access to such a high income.

Augustus
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Mon Apr 16, 2018 12:39 pm

Mister Imperceptible wrote:
Mon Apr 16, 2018 8:28 am
The recession thing is a good point, the easy high paying gigs would probably thin out in a recession. It'll be easier to accumulate at a faster rate now, than whenever the economy starts contracting. I'm less worried about not finding any work, I actually started contracting during the last recession because it was easier to find contract work than it was to find w2 work, so it may work out that in a recession it would be easier to find work again, when people are looking to control costs they often use contractors instead of hiring full time workers. But I was looking for a different kind of work then, if there's a flood of labor into the market, it might be harder to land the really high paying contract work that I like, and that high paying contract work would probably shrink since it's more expensive. I could always go back to directly contracting with small businesses, which is where I started, but it implies I'd need to be marketing myself again which is unpaid and time consuming, it's still better than working in someone elses office IMO. I'm also not worried about employment gaps, because I always have a few tiny clients, I'm never actually fully unemployed, I'm just contracting..1 hour a month :) But no one has to know it's only 1 hour a month, thus there are no visible gaps.

One really attractive aspect to working another 2-3 years before taking my foot off the gas is that my kid will be in public school by then. In California I'm going to be paying out 1500/mo just for daycare alone until she's in public school. After my kid is in public school my expenses that aren't covered by passive income drop to like 500 per month provided that I keep working the next 2-3 years. That seems like an ideal time to stop working so hard, it's also totally possible that when I stop working I shave off the 500/mo in expenses and am FI immediately, during my last test drive I shaved off a lot of expenses since I had time to devote to it. One problem I'm seeing right now is that my expenses are about to double by moving to California, so my burn rate is going to be high until the public school phase starts. I didn't look at the trend my expenses are going to be doing until I started running numbers, these next 2-3 years are going to be the most expensive of my life presumably until I get sick in old age as far base monthly expenses go.

If I go 2-3 more years, my expenses drop, and I'd be only 140k away from FI, that's much safer/easier. My FI numbers are high because I'm supporting 2 other people with my FI money, in 15 years I'll only be supporting 2 people. The chances of me not accumulating another 140k in the next 15 years are slim in my opinion.

We'll see, if I get a contract extension I'll probably take it. If I don't, I'll probably take 6 mos to a year off :) I think I just discovered the meaning of 1 more year syndrome.

Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Mister Imperceptible » Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:01 pm

I think also that your wife will continue to come up with creative reasons to keep you working. My grandmother just pressured my grandfather into buying a wood pellet stove they couldn’t afford. “I have to keep him working” she said with wide eyes and a sweet tone, her feet in bunny slippers toasting by the fire, as my grandfather continues to lurch forward like a mule.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-tRdBsnX4N4

Augustus
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Mon Apr 16, 2018 7:20 pm

Yeah that could be a possibility. She's been supportive of my frugal retire early dreams and says it's fine if I stop working. That said, when I took time off last year, and the rubber hit the road, she got very anxious. After it didn't end in catastrophe she felt better. I think I'll have to ease it in. But it's not as if she can exactly stop me... As long as we don't start going negative, I don't think she'll mind. The proof is in the pudding.

We keep separate checking accounts, she deposits half the bills into the joint account, the rest of her money is hers to do with as she pleases, but its understood that the joint account is off limits except for bills and medical, it's not for discretionary spending. This has worked well for us.

suomalainen
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by suomalainen » Tue Apr 17, 2018 6:03 pm

Mister Imperceptible wrote:
Mon Apr 16, 2018 1:01 pm
she said with wide eyes and a sweet tone, her feet in bunny slippers toasting by the fire, as my grandfather continues to lurch forward like a mule.
I feel like this sometimes too (as the grandfather, not the grandmother). It's infuriating but at the same time...it's what I signed up for. Fuck.

@augustus - I like the separate account approach. Not workable for us, I guess, but it seems ideal.

Mister Imperceptible
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Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Mister Imperceptible » Tue Apr 17, 2018 6:08 pm

I’m sorry Suomalainen.

Someone at work told me a few months back that the joint accounts get drained quickly when the woman decides to leave. As in, not long after the final argument, poof, all the money gone within an hour. The same fellow was selling his house. “Will you be putting the proceeds of the sale towards buying another house?” I asked.

“I’m buying a divorce,” he replied.

I’m really sorry to be the resident cynical asshole here. I don’t know if it’s why I’m single, or vice-versa.

suomalainen
Posts: 251
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by suomalainen » Tue Apr 17, 2018 6:11 pm

Ha, I thought I was the resident cynical asshole here.

- Married cynical asshole.

PS. Shout out to @jason? I don't want to usurp his title or anything.

Mister Imperceptible
Posts: 163
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:18 pm

Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Mister Imperceptible » Tue Apr 17, 2018 6:14 pm

Jason is a huge douchebag, not an asshole.

Augustus
Posts: 343
Joined: Sat Apr 02, 2016 10:15 am

Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by Augustus » Tue Apr 17, 2018 6:47 pm

Riggerjack said something to the effect that some people are human anchors, and if you're dragging one around your life will suck. That really stuck with me. On the other hand, some people are not human anchors. There is probably a continuum of human anchor vs human engine, and we all fall on it at different places.

I could easily live the single bachelor life, but I'm not, so it's silly to think about it. It doesn't accomplish anything and wastes brain cpu cycles. So I just tend to kill those processes when I catch them. In computing there's the term zombie process, daydreaming about various alternate lives is basically a zombie process, it consumes CPU and doesn't do anything and doesn't end until you kill it.

I was thinking this morning about would I do it all again. I mean you can never really know what it's like until you have wife/kid. It sucks in some ways, but part of the joy is that it is so hard to do well? There's a bunch of programming in you that never executes until you have wife/kid, at least for me. It's annoying and it never ends sometimes, but god damn does it feel good sometimes too.

Re: separate accounts, money is just money, I can always make more money. If you're miserable, you should hit that head on and get out of the relationship, IMO. There are worse things in life than being broke and single. Even if I lost 50% of my shit, I'd still be in spitting distance of retirement. It would honestly be easier at that point. Maybe, I guess that depends on the judge and the alimoney payments, one good reason to lower your income and have your wife work :)

Separate accounts decreased our conflicts, that's why it works well for us. I watch virtually every transaction, so I was constantly asking her about stuff. When she split off we were both happier. Maybe you should just become a nag Finn :) we had also had several fraudulent charges, so it was ostensibly in the name of fraud protection.

suomalainen
Posts: 251
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: Gus' road to retirement

Post by suomalainen » Tue Apr 17, 2018 10:16 pm

I like the idea of zombie processes. I'll tuck that behind my ear for use when I get stuck in one. Been doing better lately, but certainly am perhaps more ruminant than human at times.
Augustus wrote:
Tue Apr 17, 2018 6:47 pm
maybe you should just become a nag Finn :)
Been there, done that. For me, it's about the zombie processes. Identify the battles that I know I'll lose anyway and just move on. Before I get back into the battles of changing my wife, I'm first (now) focusing on changing my life within the bounds of marriage. We'll see how it shakes out.

Anyway, enjoying your journal.

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