FI or bust; FBeyer.

Where are you and where are you going?
Jason
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by Jason » Thu Oct 25, 2018 8:36 am

FBeyer wrote:
Sun Oct 14, 2018 1:07 pm
A clatter of keys and rustling of clothes at the front door.
"Honey, I'm home."
"Me too."

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FBeyer
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by FBeyer » Tue Dec 18, 2018 8:57 am

I am yet again contemplating rerouting my life.
After a few very enlightening exercises in life design I've found out that what I truly want to do is to help people. It's the one single thread of motivation that has run through my endeavors in both carpentry and science.

So for the moment I'm prototyping what it's like to coach people who have a problem they want to solve. For now I've offered a 100% free helping hand in a facebook group that deals with financial independence so any potential lurkers can get a leg up. I've offered that anyone who feels like they need help can contact me, and we'll get in touch.

So far the reactions have been:
1) PM: YES PLEASE. (I'm setting up a skype call with her and her boyfriend soon)
2) What are your credentials? Post them in public plz...
3) Him: Indexing is best!

What I've learned:
Appearances matter. (I knew this already, but it's always nice to get a reminder)
No matter how you phrase a free offer, someone will misunderstand it. (Not a problem, just learn to keep cool when someone insists on being obtuse)
Free is not good enough (Valuable lesson!)
Financial independence = investing.


Stay posted[1] as I draft potential clients and learn about one-man-entrepeneurship!


[1] You don't really have to. You can always tell when this thread has new posts because the forum icon changes accordingly.[2]
[2] Just so you don't go looking for a mailing list[3] opt-in.
[3] I need a mailing list. Or a website...

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FBeyer
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by FBeyer » Tue Dec 18, 2018 9:16 am

Update: The Indexing-is-best-guy is now a buddy! I'm working on my people skills you see :D

prognastat
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by prognastat » Tue Dec 18, 2018 11:30 am

FBeyer wrote:
Tue Dec 18, 2018 8:57 am
Free is not good enough (Valuable lesson!)
People often undervalue things if given for free.

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FBeyer
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by FBeyer » Tue Dec 18, 2018 1:00 pm

That's one aspect. People will assume you're incompetent if you're not charging for a service, but in this instance it's merely a matter of prototyping a possible course of action for me. It doesn't cost me anything but time, but it's something that I'm learning a great deal from. So: win-win!

However! If 'your' free stuff is not valuable, then you're setting an awful precedent for future transactions; that's bad advertising!. You can't skimp on quality, not even if it's free stuff.

jacob
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by jacob » Tue Dec 18, 2018 2:59 pm

I saw that.

Fair warning: This may take different/unexpected/unappreciated forms. According to jacob's simplistic model of coaching, there are two different kinds: Open vs Selective. The open model tends to be easy to join. I find that in that case you'll be focusing a lot more on convincing and persuading. The selective model is hard to join. Here you can expect people to abide somewhat better to your suggestions.

Better pick the right one for you because the strategies are completely different!

And yes, most people have absolutely no clue what kind of value they're getting. This is inherent to the problem of teaching. Before you've fully understood what you're learning you have no way of valuing what you're getting as a student. For the neophyte it's thus determined in a context-free way by e.g. what the price is (buy my 96 page e-book for $299, value $766); how well you dress, how smooth you're talking; etc. If context can be provided, you can be selective ... in that case, there are different ways of signalling value.

Anecdote: During my initial phd interview, I was asked why I wanted to join the program. Because I wanted to become a professor so I could teach students that were actually interested in the subject they were studying [unlike say teaching high school]. Several professors on the board sniggered.

Add: Many years ago (2010?), I tried starting an "apprentice program" for ERE. The idea was for people to follow the program and FIRE in 5 years. In retrospect that was far too open. I think when pursuing the open strategy, one should maybe be satisfied by making incremental improvements so that it's sufficiently satisfying to leave the problem a bit better off at step N+1 than at step N.

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FBeyer
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by FBeyer » Wed Dec 19, 2018 3:33 am

Thank you for the heads up, but my strategy is a little bit different.
I'm offering coaching, not training, not advice. Practicing the distinction between the two is really what coaching is about. I'm offering up my 'services' so the client can discover for themselves why they're interested in FI and how they'd like to go about it. I'm not going to tell them to do what I've done, but what they intuitively know they should do. I'll question assumptions and faulty reasoning and get them to explore their own ideas.

It's not how I act on this forum, it's not how I speak when I'm with friends or at meetups (except for the workshop we held last summer). It's a different way of communicating and I find the idea incredibly stimulating.

I'm doing this solely for the sake of broadening my horizon. Of course -marketing wise- it's ass-backwards because I'm coming to people, rather than someone with a specific problem coming to me. It's all for the sake of learning. It's free. It's instructive. It's annoying but also useful.

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FBeyer
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by FBeyer » Tue Dec 25, 2018 1:23 pm

Aight...

Six people have now signed up for absolutely free coaching. I've given them all the agreement on what kind of service I intend to provide and what I expect from them.

This life/job prototyping business is exciting!

prognastat
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by prognastat » Tue Dec 25, 2018 1:31 pm

Good luck, let us know how it goes. Both for yourself an those that have signed up.

Jason
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by Jason » Tue Dec 25, 2018 4:37 pm

Six people is an extremely healthy start. I'd also be interested in how it progresses i.e. how many people are willing to put in the work, as opposed to those who just want to drink a tall glass of elixir.

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FBeyer
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by FBeyer » Thu Jan 10, 2019 6:24 am

I've had to re-boot my exercise. Double Kettlebell clean and jerk is so demanding that I've chosen to scale back to single-kettlebell C&J and working my way towards 12 min of 24kg C&J before starting 2*16 Long Cycle. Right now it's just a matter of doing a stripped down version of an actual program every other day. In time I'm sure it'll be okay. It's funny how one can feel the old habits kick in once you're over the initial activation barrier. Starting exercise is hard, but once you've been exercising regularly for at least some extended time in your life, you fall back in the old groove and habit takes over.

I've been on sick leave and unemployment benefits and I'm still clocking in around 50% SR for 2018. That's absolutely fine by me!

My portfolio looks like it doesn't dip as much as the indexes, but still goes up when 'the tide rises' so so far it's doing what I thought it would.

I've signed up for swing dancing lessons, so starting Wednesday next week I am officially a Lindy Hopper! I'm really looking forward to have something to do on a weekly basis. And meeting new people. And dancing…

Coaching is going well. I'm REALLY enjoying it!
One client: has more employees, arranged meeting an experienced sales-mentor, is developing a daily sales-habit, and is a year and a half ahead of his own schedule. After ONE session. The client just had the second sessions so we'll see how far the client's gotten now :D
Client is flabbergasted at his own motivation and productivity. It's been years of sitting on the fence getting this shit done...

One client: Has a sales-target for a creative business, is building a system that will help alleviate drudgery and stress, and has a much better priority of tasks than before, after two sessions.

Shit's amazing yo!

Jason
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by Jason » Thu Jan 10, 2019 8:05 am

I watch lindy hop competitions on you tube and some of the moves those people do are astounding. It's like mixed figure skating - combination of art and athleticism and when they really get going there's a slight sense of danger. I've actually gotten pretty proficient at predicting who will in elimination events.

I could see it as being fun as it's kind of a culture thing as well with people dressing up for it.

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FBeyer
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by FBeyer » Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:23 pm

I've been to Lindy classes before twice. The kinds of people who dance lindy are special somehow. There's an openness and joy about them that I really appreciate. Social dancing are the antithesis of feminism: The man calls the shots, and the woman has to follow. It HAS to go like that, or it doesn't work. You can't dance if someone doesn't call the shots and the other one follows. However, the 'Oppressive Dancing Patriarchy' comes with a caveat. So the rules are really like this:
It's the woman's job to do as the man says.
It's the man's job to make 100% certain she is having fun AND looks good on the dance floor.

I think it's a fair trade off and I can tell almost immediately when someone is a good fit, in spite of only having danced for a sum total of 5 hours. That feisty redhead? Nope! Couldn't follow if she was paid to do it. That portly woman in the flowery dress? She was smiling through every single swingout and had not a single pretentious care in the world when we danced.

Lindy is called The Three Minute Love Affair for a reason. It's true and I recommend social dancing to everyone who likes people, and/or likes music, and/or likes to have fun. It's chemistry and culture on such a basic level.

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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by jacob » Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:35 pm

FBeyer wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:23 pm
It's the woman's job to do as the man says.
It's the man's job to make 100% certain she is having fun AND looks good on the dance floor.
Just a comment:

The two rules are not of the same kind. The second one is key to an interdependent collaboration. The first one is just a convention for dancing. It's easy to imagine other kinds of choreography (e.g fight choreography which I'm somewhat familiar with) where the first rule to "follow my move" switches back and forth from attacker to defender as the "dance" goes back and forth. If the effort is collaborative (positive sum rather than zero or negative sum), the result is best if both follow the second rule and strive primarily to make the other person look good. This is often more challenging but also more rewarding than just looking out for number one. Also see, prisoners' dilemma.

Quadalupe
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by Quadalupe » Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:40 pm

So nice that you are going to try Lindyhop! I also took some classes and loved it. One addendum though, Lindyhop is one of the dances were lead and follow erare that fixed to gender (compared with say Salsa). I have seen quite some female leads and male followers at lessons and dancing events.

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FBeyer
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by FBeyer » Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:50 pm

Quadalupe wrote:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:40 pm
So nice that you are going to try Lindyhop! I also took some classes and loved it. One addendum though, Lindyhop is one of the dances were lead and follow erare that fixed to gender (compared with say Salsa). I have seen quite some female leads and male followers at lessons and dancing events.
You're absolutely right. The local dance school has several videos of teacher's balls where the students 'steal' a dance with the teachers and several leads are women.

The dearth of men in the dancing community apparently pushes women to lead. It's all fine by me, but I guess I should get used to saying lead and follow, rather than men and women. :oops:

Jason
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Re: FI or bust; FBeyer.

Post by Jason » Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:59 pm

I only watch competitive lindy hop because I don't like it enough to watch average lindy hop. If they had you tube video "people falling during lindy hop" I would watch that because falling = funny.

But what I like about the competitions as opposed to other competition is:

(1) They start out all together;

(2) When they move to one couple, those couples not dancing watch and clap for those competing;

(3) There is overlap between the couples i.e. one couple starts just while the other ends which makes it friendlier so it retains its "old fashioned fun" concept. I think it's the dance equivalent to what cutting was in Jazz where you were good naturedly trying to destroy your competition;

(4) There is no ideal body type. People of all shapes and sizes can rock that shit out;

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