Crazylemon's Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
Crazylemon
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat May 30, 2015 2:29 am

Re: Crazylemon's Journal

Post by Crazylemon » Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:31 am

Many changes. Left my old A&E job. Moved back to London and in with my partner.

So far living with a partner has been a rather steep learning curve. I am used to making decisions completely unilaterally rather than with discussion and compromise. By and large it seems to be going well, we agreed to split 50/50 groceries/bills/rent/general household items rather than end up with a joint account (there is, of course, a spreadsheet). He clearly has more desires to nest than me though, which is fine but I have refused to contribute to decoration that I would not consider buying myself (hello map of the British empire at its zenith...) I suspect when it comes to doing the monthly accounts I will end up with increased spending due to this and the slightly higher rent. But well worth the trade off to be with partner and also to escape from some particularly 'interesting' former flatmates (I did mange to get one of them evicted a few months before I myself moved on, thank god).

I am pushing the other way and he has certainly had more pulses based meals than he ever had before we moved in!

He also seems to be happy, other than the odd me not registering he wants more attention when I have come back form a 12 1/2 hour shift and he has been on his own over much of the weekend. I will work on this. I just need to make sure no screens are around.

Work

2 weeks in I am loving my new job. I help keep newborn babies/kids alive/healthy. Hard to argue with those goals. The intensity (so far) is also far less than any of my old jobs. I got to have MULTIPLE TEA BREAKS over weekend on call shifts. None of my previous jobs have had this, just many mental calculations of working out whether drinking or peeing was more important because of only having time for one. So big pluses there. There are very nice perks too. Despite only being at the last few minutes of any given birth to set up resuscitation equipment and hope to god you don't have to use it on the newborn (you almost never do) for some reason I get to hand the kid to mum/dad rather than anyone else in them room. This seems unfair given the midwife might have been with someone for hours...but I guess in totally normal deliveries I am not around. The reduced exposure to 'problems as a doctor I can't fix' also helps with mood.

Which leads to the dilemma of what to do next. I have a job for 6 months. Then once again I am 'unemployed'. There is a job in a very niche specialty that I might want to try for experience for which the deadline is a week away. But, it would mean moving to the other side of the country for it. If you had asked me 2 months ago I would have obviously said to apply. But now...I wonder whether I should. I would again be long distance. I would probably be paying even more in travel + rent than I am now. My partner understands why I would want to do it but obviously would rather it was nearby (this is not possible). The job comes around every year. I could do it later but if I join a training scheme (which I think now I probably will at least apply) getting permission to leave and come back might be tricky. Or, I could possibly try and do it post full qualification. What I don't want to do is apply now, ham up an interview because my heart isn't in it or turn an offered job down as they will remember and that world is small (the specialists in the country amount to less than a A4 page of names, even with their addresses on it). The clock is however ticking.

Any training scheme wouldn't start till next August though so I would have 6 months to fill with other work/something else. What the good alternative is I don't know. I took my current job to learn which it is certainly helping me to do! It also pays 6k better which is nice.

This is the first time I have had to deal with having so many options since applying to university. It is wonderful and terrifying. If anyone has any suggestions...

Cycling

I once again have a bike commute, yay free exercise.

Net worth

£60k

MDFIRE2024
Posts: 370
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:09 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Crazylemon's Journal

Post by MDFIRE2024 » Sat Aug 19, 2017 8:45 am

Crazylemon wrote:
Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:31 am
Which leads to the dilemma of what to do next. I have a job for 6 months. Then once again I am 'unemployed'. There is a job in a very niche specialty that I might want to try for experience for which the deadline is a week away. But, it would mean moving to the other side of the country for it. If you had asked me 2 months ago I would have obviously said to apply. But now...I wonder whether I should. I would again be long distance. I would probably be paying even more in travel + rent than I am now. My partner understands why I would want to do it but obviously would rather it was nearby (this is not possible). The job comes around every year. I could do it later but if I join a training scheme (which I think now I probably will at least apply) getting permission to leave and come back might be tricky. Or, I could possibly try and do it post full qualification. What I don't want to do is apply now, ham up an interview because my heart isn't in it or turn an offered job down as they will remember and that world is small (the specialists in the country amount to less than a A4 page of names, even with their addresses on it). The clock is however ticking.
Hi Crazylemon. Nice nickname, btw. :-)
What does your head say? What is logical, rational, ...
What does your heart tell you? Is there a passion, ...
Of course you have considered aspects, but have you already thought about the "big picture", e.g. 5 years from now or from a higher perspective?

Crazylemon
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat May 30, 2015 2:29 am

Re: Crazylemon's Journal

Post by Crazylemon » Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:32 pm

@MDFIRE sorry for the delayed reply.

In the end I chose to withdraw my application.
Several reasons but mainly that I am very much enjoying being where I am now. I also suspect I don't have that much passion for the specialism. It would be a continuation of my current 'try a bit of everything' but the cost of needing to move location for now is too high for me.

I think I have realised I enjoy practicing medicine, but, I don't have any one niche area I could see myself doing forever. Certainly none that I have so far experienced. Much that most colleagues seem to think I should become some sort of hospital specialist.

Having spoken to the General Practice Trainees I work with and form my prior experience I think this is the way to go. I like the work and it gets me out of unsociable hours the fastest way possble. Given when registering with a GP recently when they discovered I was a Doctor they pretty much started offering me a locum position until I pointed out I wasn't quite qualified for that gives an idea of how short the UK is of doctors. This is sad and makes the job far less pleasant with a feeling of not being able to provide the service you would like due to not having the numbers. On the other hand it means quite possibly being able to dictate most terms (if not pay because of a Nationalised system) so that flexible working/part time/sabbaticals mean I could keeping working while having vastly more time off appeals. This is what I intend to offer my current employer once my 6 months is up. Happy to work for the department but won't want to do it full time. If they can't do that goodbye and I will work half the same shifts as the locum covering the empty slots (+other departments) and perversely end up with more control and higher pay. The NHS and its inflexibility to try and maintain control of most Drs doesn't work so well once there are shortages...Again I was offered an immediate extension by my supervisor after doing only a handful of shifts.

Looking on the longer horizon somewhat feels odd because within 5 and certainly by 10 there is no way that I will need to be working and so I think I would just jump ship if I totally hated it.

Maybe that isn't a particularly high perspective...

MDFIRE2024
Posts: 370
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:09 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Crazylemon's Journal

Post by MDFIRE2024 » Sat Sep 02, 2017 12:05 am

Crazylemon wrote:
Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:32 pm
In the end I chose to withdraw my application.
Several reasons but mainly that I am very much enjoying being where I am now. I also suspect I don't have that much passion for the specialism. It would be a continuation of my current 'try a bit of everything' but the cost of needing to move location for now is too high for me.

I think I have realised I enjoy practicing medicine, but, I don't have any one niche area I could see myself doing forever. Certainly none that I have so far experienced. Much that most colleagues seem to think I should become some sort of hospital specialist.
Good to read an update in your journal from you. :-)
I think you are ok with you decision. It is always good to consider the trade-offs and necessary changes of decisioins. Besides the pros and cons I think one should also look for the future. As you say, maybe within the next 10 years you can decide freely without worrying about the money aspects. What is also important in my opinion is, that you don't suffer at your current work place. I mean, that you don't become unhappy or ill, because of stress, colleagues, etc.

What kind of medicine do you practice? Maybe there are other career paths available for you where you work right now, e.g. becoming a hospital specialist but in a sort that you like.
Take care.

Crazylemon
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat May 30, 2015 2:29 am

Re: Crazylemon's Journal

Post by Crazylemon » Sat Sep 02, 2017 2:27 am

I am happy with my decisions :D

Currently I am working in paediatrics. I enjoy it but the rota is too antisocial to want to do for any length of time. I had a particularly bad on call over the bank holiday weekend that really took it out of me. That sort of thing is why I feel it isn't for me. Colleagues are great, no issues there (although I sometimes feel with paediatricians are they being too nice and not telling me about blind spots I am not aware of? not easy to tell...)

I took the job in the first case to get experience that would be useful in GP. It gives more more flexibility in jobs once in a training scheme. Which is good.

I don't want to be a hospital specialist! I like general practice/family med. Everyone else just seems to think that would be a 'waste'!

Crazylemon
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat May 30, 2015 2:29 am

Re: Crazylemon's Journal

Post by Crazylemon » Thu Sep 21, 2017 11:53 am

Currently on night shifts.

As a result any resemblance to health diet has evaporated as has all exercise beyond my commute in to work.
This always seems to happen. I will get to a point where I am just starting to ingrain healthy default options and then BAM an awful bit of rota comes along to trip me up.

When on my own I tried to get round this by having pre cooked frozen healthy meals I could just take out the freezer and go with. Naively living with my partner I thought I might be able to lean on them to cook healthily and maintain the flat while I am doing 12 1/2 hour night shifts, assuming I leave on time... Didn't quite work out that way. I get he had a bad Monday at work too but, the rest of the week has been poor planning (I can cook myself expensive burgers and pizzas even in my sleep deprived state. This is just as much my fault so mea culpa. I don't really know the best way to solve this other than trying more planning. Might need to have a chat about this with him so we can synchronise on it or I will just have to do what I did before. It is difficult for him to and I imagine not seeing me other than saying goodbye just as he gets in from work doesn't feel great.

During the shifts isn't much better. Unhealthy food is everywhere and very tempting when you are just trying to eat *something* between trying to fix sick kids. The last few shifts have been particularly bad as well (apparently, I haven't had any of these 'good' night shifts on this job people talk about, there always seems to be an emergency where I am spending hours with one very sick kid).

I am not really sure the best way to fix this.
Maybe when not sleep deprived on my week off I can think up a more robust system, because until I finish training I have to deal with the necessary evil of night shifts. Maybe it just isn't possible and I should be thankful I at least function relatively well when actually working overnight and am practicing safe medicine for my patients. Maybe it isn't possible for me to eat right, exercise and do night shifts at the same time and this is just an attempted to increase the rate of extraction. But I feel I still need to try.

MDFIRE2024
Posts: 370
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:09 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Crazylemon's Journal

Post by MDFIRE2024 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 12:56 am

Crazylemon wrote:
Thu Sep 21, 2017 11:53 am
I am not really sure the best way to fix this.
Hi Crazylemon. Good to read an update from you. I'm sorry that it doesn't work out as you planned it would be.
Regarding food. I can say you what works for me. Maybe you can use it or give it a try.
I have experienced, that a healthy diet depends on some good portion of self-discipline.
Well, self-discipline is usually low when you have a low energy level, e.g. after nights shifts.
What I do is, that I buy ONLY healthy food in the supermarket. So, there is no unhealthy food at home and I don't have a temptation to eat unhealthy food, because it is not there.
Another thing I usually do, is pre-cook food, when I feel energized or have free-time. Then I can eat it immediately after work and I don't have a temptation to buy/cook unhealthy fast food.
Another thing is routine. I try to eat by a strict routine. Nothing in the morning. Lunch btw 11-13, Dinner before 18. I have to admit that this is only possible because I have regular working hours. I don't know it in your case.
Also, I feel motivated to eat healthy food, because I know about the mid-term/long-term implications, e.g. health diseases...

Well, I hope I could get you some inspiration. Take Care! Both of you!

Crazylemon
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat May 30, 2015 2:29 am

Re: Crazylemon's Journal

Post by Crazylemon » Sun Oct 29, 2017 8:38 am

@MDFIRE

Thanks, sorry for the very delayed reply. I already do as you mention normally. Pre cook food and I never buy 'junk' to have in. I was just hoping I could replace my own work with that of my partner and it backfired :P My coming set of shifts the freezer is already prepared for.

On shift I just try and avoid the food around me as much as possible. As of yet willpower from known long term it isn't a good idea is somewhat lacking at 3am.

Work

I am really enjoying my work and finding it satisfying which is nice. Feeling slightly sad to be planning leaving in February to 'something else' But I have pretty much deliberately locked myself in to doing so.
One thing I can say for paediatrics is that it has a much higher ration of 'nice people'. All of my immediate colleagues I like working with and are generally good fun.
Everyone works generally towards a common purpose and the only gripes are with senior management multiple levels removed who come up with some 'interesting' ideas that magically never end up happening. As a junior grade I get the luxury of only being vaguely aware of their existence.


Exercise

Bike commuting continues and judging by the difficulty in finding spaces in the bike rack indicates that at least the hospital staff get the benefit of active travel. Also awesome about paeds is most of the juniors and about half the middle grades also cycle in!

I have join a gym which while being hardly frugal is for the express reason of starting back with strength training. I have never been good at doing this and only really did it at the end of university for a few months. Work and a move to a place there the hospital gym was just treadmills with no gyms nearby meant 2 years of not doing this. Vaguely following starting strength for now and a month in I feel much the better for doing it. Even if I dislike being there for 6am so I can get it done before cycling to work I always feel better after the workout. It makes cycling in somewhat more challenging after.
Seeing the amount I am able to lift going it is much more satisfying for me at this point than my NW!


Networth

Rising nicely but I don't I will find it exciting until it hits 100k now

Crazylemon
Posts: 124
Joined: Sat May 30, 2015 2:29 am

Re: Crazylemon's Journal

Post by Crazylemon » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:32 am

Life is good at the moment. Much easier to meet up with all my friends in London. Even it id does end up being at insane times of day due to shift work. At least other Doctors get this!

Is this intentionality beginging to pay off?

Work

This weekend was very busy and short staffed but fortunately I just entered 'flow' and it was all ok. All non urgent paperwork was not done which did sort of suck to hand over but hey, boring non-life saving stuff just had to wait (lets face it, saving lives the more fun bit of my work). I have volunteered as tribute to do an extra night tonight due to yet more short staffing. In any of my other previous jobs where I have had night shifts I don't think I would ever have even considered doing this other than for a stupid per hour rate, showing how much I respect and feel part of a team as opposed to a transitory service provider, even though this is my first job that is technically pure service provision...
I will get time back for it so all good AND I get to avoid more paperwork and a boring presentation, noticing a theme here? ;)

Had some especially grateful parent this weekend which was just lovely to here.

Same with the ward sister saying I did a brilliant intro and explanation for the parents of a new admission to special care :D

I have a horrible feeling I actually enjoy playing the 'hero' despite being an INTJ

Plan is to stay in the same hospital in a slightly different part of the same specialty that has no nights and fewer weekend and....LESS PAPERWORK :D


Much as I like paeds though I don't think I would be able to do it as a full time career job. Too many nights for too long. Even longer if I did go part time and in all likelihood I would be well past FIRE before I became even vaguely close to finishing training and even then isn't one of the specialties where many of the seniors spend time on the golf course so to speak...

I have also due to cunning/blind luck after new years day got most of January not doing work but a combination of study leave and annual leave.

Wondering if I should prep for and take the DCH exam as well as for my training entry exam. Pricey piece of paper though. Might be able to get work to pay for it if lucky, or at least part.

Exercise

Starting Strength is going well. Past lifting my bodyweight for deadlift and squat. I won't give numbers because I am a hobbit. But for me this feels an achievement and I am now past where I left off 2 1/2 years ago. Appearance hasn't changed much but this is secondary. It felt so nice yesterday when despite missing earlier training due to working the weekend I was still able to add weight to all the lifts I was doing that day.

Cycling carries on. I need to get some new tires soon and overhaul the bike. Gonna probably have to wait till next week.

NW

Due to Both my phone and computer breaking not a great month of saving at only 40% first since starting work this low :(
Yes I bought almost the shiniest toy in the apple store but now I have a phone that can run apps that are super useful for work in particular Neomate and the cBNF. Saves me so much time and worth it for that (amusingly the apps themselves are free). Anyone with any other particularly inspired medical apps let me know!

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