Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

[TopHatFox]

Hm, perhaps. Would the brain-washing mean she's nice to me, stays fit, and can still hold an intelligent conversation? Ideally holds any job, but not 24-7?

Because the brain-washing in a place like NYC or Boston is that she's mean to me, is overweight, argues talking points from whatever easy degree or FB, and works 24/7. (Not to say guys don't have their own issues, they sure do).

I could definitely see an issue arising with the fact that I don't want kids or marriage, but co-habitation and a LTR ceremony sound great.

[Jean]

Top hat Mormon! I don't see you resisting the arguments your mormon wive will throw at you for more than a few weeks. You're so impulsive. Don't worry, you'll be a great dad.

[C40]

Not wanting kids or marriage (and not being LDS) would generally mean you're not a suitable suitor for LDS women until they've had children, gotten divorced, and left the church.

Your list, relating to LDS devotees
nice to you: yes
Fit - generally(?). Probably more than NYC.
Intelligent conversation - The majority of them: no, not really. Or, they only ca on some subjects. Some of them can get like 75% of the way there.
Work - many will expect to be a stay-at-home mom, or if they do work, for their husband to be the primary breadwinner.

The verbal combativeness in people from NYC and Boston will be gone.

The really churchy girls will just not enter your world (or, more-so: you will not enter theirs. If you try to, they will avoid you. They have a name for you: a "gentile". An 'other'. Outsider. Foreigner. Someone to be avoided or converted.

[slowtraveler]

My mormon history teacher in high school: "ignorance is bliss."

That language article claims India speaks English when only 10% of India's population speaks English. In light of this, it's leaving out the part of the world with half the human population so it's hard to take the article seriously.

English, Spanish, French, and Portuguese overlap a ton so it's easier for you to learn and they will facilitate communication in the urban centers of many countries so good on you anyways for learning them. Good luck with your gf, work, and mental well being.

[TopHatFox]

Top hat Mormon! I don't see you resisting the arguments your mormon wive will throw at you for more than a few weeks. You're so impulsive. Don't worry, you'll be a great dad.

That’s the ironic part, I would make a great dad. Still, I’ve held this one since I was like 10 YO. The financial, time, and emotional cost of just one kid is far too great, let alone two(!). Besides, I get depressed/suicidal, and kids are a 20yr+commitment. Most of my depression/suicidality is caused by lack of meaningful, consistent people so maybe having a kid would help, but that’d be a helluva risk to take with an innocent kid. Plus, I’m no geneticist, but I might give them depression/suicidality through genes.

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Other news: I’ve noticed that my motivation is pretty low these days. IOW, I’ll do the things I need to (finish class assignments, apply to jobs), but typically at a lagged pace.

I’ll occasionally get big boosts in motivation and then do a bunch of to-do’s in an all-day productivity spree, but many other days it’s just low-energy lounging about learning languages passively, sleeping a lot, or reading.

With finding quality in-person people that stick around or aren’t always working being as hard as it is, it’s easy for me to think: “what’s the fucking point.”

I don’t really know how to restore my motivation. I once did a “success group” type series of meetup, where 10 people met at a friend’s house to share one important goal they want to achieve and the main challenge to achieving it. Then they share their progress toward that goal every few days to a week as people offer resources, connections, or trouble-shooting advice.

I suppose I may need to form such a daily Success Group online (a more day-to-day version of this one), despite that being literally going back and forth with pixels on a screen and anonymous usernames. It may be my only choice though: if the social environment in western countries has changed to make online interaction the easier/predominant venue, then continuing to expend effort as a skilled vulture for the last remaining in-person connection may very well be a misallocation of my effort.

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I got some nice dental bonding done on two teeth that had worn prior to surgery. My teeth are also nice and white. How far I’ve come since NY.

Occasionally thinking about that well-researched and skilled nose job. It’d give me something new to look forward to I supposseeees. ^-^

[Jean]

Is being suicidal worst than not being? If yes, why don't you kill yourself? If no, then why don't have kids?

[TopHatFox]

It’s a good question. If the range of feeling bad to neutral to good is -100 to 0 to 100, and your range is from -100 to 25 with the occasional 50, I suppose a permanent 0 sounds reasonable. My guess is I’m holding out in the hopes that I can raise my range over time by continuing to try different lifestyle configurations—more hobbies, travel, financial freedom, career choices, philosophy, light lamps, meds, and so on—but thus far that’s proven only somewhat effective. Time will tell.

I do know that having kids almost inherently raises stress—which makes my depression worse—so I would expect having one would lower my range to -100 to 0. In other words, having kids could very well make things worse in general. And then I would have no way out without seriously shirking responsibility and destroying an innocent kid’s life.

Besides, having a kid in the hopes of making yourself feel better is the wrong reason to have them; it’s about them, not you.

[Jean]

You have kid cause you have sex during the few days when women have the highest lust. We are able to choose since very few time. We aren't able to chose properly if having kid is the right thing or not. We get unhappy because we choose not to have kid. Maybe we regret kids because we had choice not to have them.

[TopHatFox]

Hm, perhaps, although there are plenty of studies that show a positive correlation between stress and depression and having a kid. So if I do have the choice—despite only having access to contraception over the past few decades—I’d likely opt for no.

[Ego]

We aren't able to chose properly if having kid is the right thing or not. We get unhappy because we choose not to have kid. Maybe we regret kids because we had choice not to have them.

The things people search on Google can reveal much more about their personal realities than what they are willing to admit to anyone. A few years ago a former Google data scientist wrote a book about it and used this particular question in his book promotion.

https://www.salon.com/2017/05/09/google ... ving-kids/

Need more evidence that Google searches can give a different picture of the world than the one we usually see? Consider searches related to regrets around the decision to have or not to have children. Before deciding, some people fear they might make the wrong choice. And, almost always, the question is whether they will regret not having kids. People are seven times more likely to ask Google whether they will regret not having children than whether they will regret having children. After making their decision—either to reproduce (or adopt) or not—people sometimes confess to Google that they rue their choice. This may come as something of a shock but post-decision, the numbers are reversed. Adults with children are 3.6 times more likely to tell Google they regret their decision than are adults without children.

[7Wannabe5]

You also have to consider the 20 years later google searches. My adult children are wonderful.

[theanimal]

I think nose surgery for aesthetic purposes would be a bad idea. Why do you want to do this?

[TopHatFox]

I think I’ve decided I don’t really want to retire, defined as not earning any income ever.

There just aren’t enough things to do. After just taking my 6 classes this fall and spring, I have climbed, scuba dived, snorkeled, played Xbox, read on Kindle, roller bladed, ice skated, star gazed with a mini-telescope, camped, hiked, kayaked, worked on home construction projects, went on 20 or so dates to find one new gf, practiced French and Portuguese, and so on.

And yet I was still bored out of my mind half the time. Not to mention most of the people I reached out to were either too busy working their office job to pay for their SUV & oversized house or too busy working their retail job just to keep a box over their head.

In short, I don’t think life as it’s currently structured is designed for people to be perma-unemployed, irrelevant of if their retirement income comes from an unemployment check or a 3% withdrawal from their portfolio. There just don’t seem to be enough things to do unless one is constantly making them up, such as thru-hiking the PCT, biking the USA, RVing SA, starting a vegetable commune, or becoming a world renown marksman/pastry chef/ballroom dancer.

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Also, I’be been applying to geology or admin park jobs out west and here near my parents house too. Let’s see what I can get. I also applied to a free geology MS in case if I get nothing in the job department hehe.

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While I think I’m handsome and have the attraction from the opposite sex to back that up, I’ve never liked the tip of my nose, so I may do research and change it with a high quality plastic surgeon. Thankfully that’s a surgery that just requires changing cartilage rather than bridge bone or the centering the septum (which both of mine are fine). Changing the structure requires more invasion; the tip shape, not so much.

[daylen]

There just aren’t enough things to do.

Completely disagree.

[GandK]

I have a family member who didn't like her ears... just her ears. She recently had her 9th plastic surgery. After the ears were sorted, her nose was her biggest gripe. Then the wrinkles around her eyes. Then she wanted eyeliner tattoed on, because her eyelashes were too light. Then... etc, etc. As anyone who knew her reasonably well except her could have told you, the problem wasn't ever her ears. It was that she wasn't satisfied with herself. Some body part has always been a proxy, because she seems to need that proxy. It keeps her from having to address the real issue. "I don't like me" is a helluva lot scarier to say/face than "I don't like my ears."

For your own sake, make sure this is really about your nose before the knives come out, OK? ♡

[Ego]

+1 So well said.

Or maybe DIY with makeup? If you try this, post the results in the Fixit log.

[Jason]

While I think I’m handsome and have the attraction from the opposite sex to back that up, I’ve never liked the tip of my nose, so I may do research and change it with a high quality plastic surgeon.

That's great. And by the sound of it, I'm guessing your asshole won't need any tightening.

[TopHatFox]

Yeah, nope, just the nose. My ears, jaw, teeth, and other skeletal symmetry is great. Most everything else is solvable via a good skin care regimen, eating healthy, and working out.

I suppose makeup would be an interesting way to "try something out," but a PITA to do every day, no? I don't know the first thing about makeup also.

[TopHatFox]

UPDATE FEB 2020

Education

Done with MPA this April. Also applied to a 30-credit MS in geosciences and a re-up to the fellowship that would pay for it and give me 15k. It’d be a good way to upgrade my geo undergrad and give me more options for working at state or national park, either as an admin or geologist (who speaks four languages lol).

Career

An AC friend roped me into building a startup with them, so I’m doing that. He got a few wealthy alums a to give him 100k for us to start something, so we’re starting something.

Another AC friend got me back into finance, except this time as a remote financial advisor selling insurance & mutual funds to middle class people, which is arguably much easier than high net worth financial advising (where they expect you to be perfect all the time). I do end up giving financial advise to friends, colleagues, and family anyway, so what the hell. The biggest selling point here is that it lets me use multiple rare skill sets remotely. I think theanimal is doing this too, so there’s that.

I need to ramp up my applying for state and national park roles in UT and CO part of the plan, but I also need to finish my 6 classes and screw around with the gf.

Romance

Things with thin Blondie gf are going well. Lots of (consensual) fun rope stuff. :p Also still practicing day game since we’re still open and it’s an entertaining hobby. Bars and clubs suck, grocery stores, cafés, and other public venues is where it’s at. Still, I’m only going up to the pretty ones that look for a while and maybe even smile.

Parents

I convinced one of my parents to trade in their leased SUV for a used reliable brand and model car. Now I just need to find such a car on CL and finish watching how-to-buy-a-used-car videos on CL. This parent is super on board the finance train.

My other parent bought a 30k new van and doesn’t want to change it for a used reliable van ever, so that sucks. This parent is passive aside from this massive chunk of $.

Parents still have 160k in the mortgage and a 50k annual income, so I feel like they should be able to pay this shit off in a few years. One parent is trying super hard to finish learning English and study some practical 2 year program that leads to a better income/quality of life. The other is pretty much done with work/trying and wants to do their current job until they can draw SS in a few years.

They both paid 6k together in federal income tax in 2019, so I should be able to get them most of that back by them filling both their IRAs. We have one tenant spot (of two) filled upstairs, so that’s ~7k/yr coming in. But we also only have a max of three car spots, and they’re all taken by parents’ cars and tenant’s car.

My only question is this: how can they both reduce their federal income tax and pay off their mortgage as fast as possible? If they put 10-15k in an IRA, yes that’s money that reduces their taxable income, but that’s also money they could’ve put to the principle on their mortgage.

[Stahlmann]

hmmm
so how ur parents arrived in usa?
link to the psot will be sufficient