Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Where are you and where are you going?
prognastat
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by prognastat »

If you have no plans of providing for a significant other or taking on dependents in the form of kids or pets then you can easily live an extremely comfortable life for 10k-15k a year at most. If willing to move to a low COL area or live extremely cheaply through things like camping/van-living you could probably do so for as low as 5k per year after some startup costs(though I suspect van-living isn't a viable long term strategy as one gets older).

TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

Updates updates...

Dating: The 30 yo FI-conscious girl just said something like: "we should only meet spontaneously," (a.k.a. only when she wants to) and she said she's been raped in the past. As a result, she doesn't like sex until "she really gets to know the person," which could take weeks to years. Like fuck me, amirite? Is there a single datable person out in the wild!? I think I've just decided to date myself, fuck it. At least I can treat myself right way better than any other person.

New Fellowship: Besides that, I did get that15K Portuguese stipend and 18K for tuition, so I could quit my job now if I want to, but I think I'll just throw that money on top of the money from the job. All I have to do to get the 15K is change one of my MPA electives to be about South America, and a take two introductory Portuguese classes over a year (knowing Spanish fluently).

---------------------------

Networth (counting impending 15K fellowship stipend): $100,000, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, 6-figuuuuuures

prognastat
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by prognastat »

I mean weeks would be reasonable enough, I could even agree to a few months if she shows a lot of potential, but once it goes to many months or more I don't want to be wasting my time when a very real possibility is that sex might end up terrible and ruining the relationship after investing a lot of time and effort.

Congrats on reaching the 100k and getting the stipend/fellowship. How many hours are involved with the new classes it requires you to take?

TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

@Prognastat, yeah man, weeks I'm like OK, that's totally normal, even a few months if we're hanging out sporadically. But a fuckin' year, and then it might not be enjoyable anyway? Whaaaaaat. Oh, and all of that is moot because how are we supposed to get to know one another if me scheduling irl meet-ups is off the table because it's not "spontaneous." :lol:

It means I need to take 1 additional class for two semesters. So I'll be a grad student and worker full-time. Should be dicey, but worth it.

Kriegsspiel
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by Kriegsspiel »

Coincidentally, Cenk Uygur got kicked out of the Justice Democrats (the group he co-founded that got AO-C elected) because he expressed those same sentiments in blog posts written 20 years ago when he lived in.... Miami :D

TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

Yeah, just like it's possible to win the lottery. The trouble is that the price to play is too high (exhaustion, time, money, etc.) for the potential return. I'll just date myself and see my academic credentials and $$ grow, then travel and see what non 9 to 5 income sources I can bring in. Seriously though, thank goodness I don't want marriage and kids.

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Jean
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by Jean »

Dating apps are terrible. Find a better social environnement. If not possible now, delay it. You won't die.

Stahlmann
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by Stahlmann »

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Last edited by Stahlmann on Sun Nov 24, 2019 2:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

Oh, of course not. I reacted like any kind person would, just listen actively. But actively listening or not, it still means she'd be hard to have a relationship with. Agreed, most men are pretty shit at keeping boundaries. I would not want to be a young pretty woman getting attention from mostly low-quality men everywhere just for being young and thin. That's what the earphones are for, right? But let's be real here, a lot of these young women are also on cam sites, Instagram, FB, ad naseum collecting $ and attention from these same men.

No matter which way you turn, the dating market place = broken, and no one's gonna declare that a national emergency lol. Honestly, if we've all become commodities, it's only a matter of time before the sex robots get launched. That'll really change things up, because men won't have to put up with the rigors of dating to get life-like sex, and therefore will leave the marketplace. Women likely won't be able to do so as much because they like the attention from social media platforms such as dating apps, but the sexual stuff less so.

What am I supposed to tell her, though? "Yeah, it's fine if you want to wait a year before we do anything sexual, no worries. Yeah, it's perfectly okay if you and only you decide when we meet." Sounds like beeeeetaaaaaaa bullshit to me.
Last edited by TopHatFox on Thu Mar 28, 2019 1:10 pm, edited 6 times in total.

George the original one
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by George the original one »

Haven't you got around to cruising the yoga studios yet?!?

slowtraveler
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by slowtraveler »

Tough love, she's just not that into you. Some women are worth waiting for but this one does not want to meet you as often as you want so there's a clear differential in attraction levels.

Your plan to keep improving your wealth and academic credentials seems a good start to improving your mate value. Mate value will drop after college as females notice their mate value is higher than they perceived in college. Your mate value will typically peak in your 30's-40's. It can also take some time to find the right woman.

TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

Well, obv, which is why I'm in the process of ghosting, and saving up $ : )

I like it when I start ghosting and suddenly they show more interest ^_^

MidsizeLebowski
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by MidsizeLebowski »

You're supposed to do other shit with your life and not be concerned outside of when you see her. Your problem is that you're swimming in a goddamn bathtub man.

You live in Miami, it's a huge city, start going out in public places and learn how to meet people from cold-approach. It'll change your life.

You have plenty going for you aside from what appears to be a minor mental block when it comes to sex/dating, should be no problem.

Why should women be excited to meet you, how can being with you change their lives for the better, can you express those valuable traits to complete strangers?

Dating's a numbers game bro and your numbers are the equivalent of eating three sticks of celery a day and wondering why you can't stick to the diet. On that note make sure you maximize your genetic potential in terms of being in shape, dressing well and actually knowing how to please your sexual partners.

Sorry for the rant, was a very shy dude with women as a child and hate to see people wasting their time over completely self-imposed barriers.

TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

Brooooooooo

TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by TopHatFox »

I'm super excited to get to 150K and 250K, that's gonna be amaaaaazing. Then if I ever want to do anything different employment wise, I can think "oh shit, if I just do this cool job that pays 30K, I can get to 300K doing something interesting, sweeeeeeet."

That's probably why the rich get richer, right? Once you've learned to save, you're less likely to lose the pot, so whatever you do ends up adding to the pot just as the pot compounds. Moreover, since you're no longer tied to the 9 to 5 at some point, you're more likely to do something interesting that leads to even more $$, freedom, education, etc.

daylen
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by daylen »

TopHatFox wrote:
Thu Mar 28, 2019 4:23 pm
I'm super excited to get to 150K and 250K, that's gonna be amaaaaazing.
Then you will be like "I'm super excited to get to 500k, that's gonna be amaaaaazing.", and so the cycle continues until you finally board the monetary nearly-nihilism train with me.

2Birds1Stone
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by 2Birds1Stone »

daylen wrote:
Thu Mar 28, 2019 4:29 pm
Then you will be like "I'm super excited to get to 500k, that's gonna be amaaaaazing."
This is a slippery slope that many of us are on!

prognastat
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by prognastat »

Well it all depends on where you consider the start of the slope.

Technically it's possible to move to some of the lowest COL areas in the US with a shared living arrangement dividing up the rooms amongst couples and probably get your expenses a decent bit lower per person than even 1 Jacob. So you could consider everything over that already on the slope. You could take it another step though and consider moving to an even lower COL area in another country at which point you could drop your expenses well below a Jacob per person. Of course money isn't the only consideration or else I would be in a McMansion in a third world country already(not that I really would even if it were only money, because who wants to keep up with the cleaning and maintenance of a McMansion).

classical_Liberal
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by classical_Liberal »

2Birds1Stone wrote:
Thu Mar 28, 2019 5:11 pm
This is a slippery slope that many of us are on!
I'll third this. Money will not solve lifestyle problems until you start to use it as a tool to help solve your lifestyle problems. Add to that, many times it turns out money wasn't the right tool to begin with, your imagined happy future was wrong. It is much better to use what you've got now, so you can make course corrections along the way.

Congrats on the 15K! Add it to the bucket, start planning your sabbatical in a year.

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C40
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Re: Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Post by C40 »

Ok, gonna try to keep this short:

Relating to that women who might not want to sleep with you for a year, it's fine. It's not something to be disappointed by. You aren't negatively impacted by not sleeping with her. She doesn't owe you sex and you don't owe her romantic pursuit.

Her telling you she doesn't want to make any plans with you is a very clear de-escalation. She's doing you a favor by recognizing incompatibility and communicating as clearly as she is. She's not interested (in your kind of romantic relationship style). Work on accepting that without it feeling like a failure. If you like being friends with her and spending time together without sex, do so. My closest female friends have nearly all been ones I started out dating and one/both of us decided we shouldn't have a romantic relationship. And they are great friendships. And I meet other women through them. It is a very important skill in life to accept and appreciate what you do get, without letting a desire for more get in the way of your enjoyment.



1 - You seem to be using romantic relationships as a very high factor in how you judge your own personal success. Don't do that. Especially don't let a person you've just met frustrate you. Focus on your own behaviors. Are you doing a good job? (communicating well, listening well, seducing well, etc?). Do this for yourself. In the long run it will result in much better relationships, and it will keep you from writing women off. Don't let yourself think: "I'm doing the right things. These women are shit. Miami sucks. Fuck it." Think: "I feel like I'm doing the right things, but it's not working well enough. What do I need to change? Meet more women to find a better match? Meet different types of women?"

Women can be great. Romance and sex and all that can be great. But you are a smart, independent, sexy young man and you don't need the validation of some specific woman to feel ok about yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and say it out loud.

2 - Increase your focus on living a good life in general (outside of romantic relationships). Like - quit playing the video games and do something better with your time. Learn more new things. Make things. Get really fit. Etc. Do those things for you, not for potential mate value.

Doing 1 and 2 are very beneficial for your own life aside from romantic relationships. And also, it turns out, they are very beneficial for you in doing better at finding and having good romantic relationships.

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