Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Where are you and where are you going?
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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:49 pm

@Viktor - All of that sounds good! I'll do some research on the Peace Corps. Travel and maybe they can pay for grad school, too. I'm sure Spanish would prove handy. I am a little confused on the pay structure though. It sounds more like a volunteer role than anything that pays anything...

In other news, some of the interviews for sharing my room have been going well. I think that will be good. If I can combine that with a people-caring job (such as case-management), I think I'll be more stable and can build from there.

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Viktor K
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by Viktor K » Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:09 am

From an ERE perspective, I think Peace Corps is more a benefit of the wealthy than an income-generating pursuit. You can let your investments (hopefully) grow a bit, then you get a little bonus when you get home. I don't think you're really supposed to save or anything from the stipend they give you.

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:19 am

Yeah, that's how I envisioned it as well. Well, perhaps when I figure out a career and get to 100K, it'd be a fun thing to do then!~

I just spent the past few hours researching careers. It looks like helping people, especially one on one and for a greater cause, is the best way to achieve a sustainable and happy result for me. I'm going to double down on my efforts to find a suitable helping role that fits my ERE goals. Maybe the Coach Mentors thing would be good, although I only have one client at the moment. Getting more will require my recruiting skill set, essentially like job searching, which I hate but would be temporary (maybe). Something to think about. I also got an interview working as a case manager in the Bronx. So I could always just get shot and to hell with the whole ordeal. :lol:

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bryan
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by bryan » Sat Feb 10, 2018 12:45 am

TopHatFox wrote:
Fri Feb 09, 2018 10:10 pm
I represent <1% of the population, and so the strategies that work for most, do not work for me. Part of me wishes I was different so that I could have an easier time, but that is not reality. I think the reality is accepting who I am and finding something that works for me.
I had an easy time, but it's mostly luck and having only a couple (better than none) reasonable (to me) choices when I was younger to shoot for. Others end up facing harsher realities. My two sisters were both very smart (scholarships, etc.) and their first jobs out of college, for years, were minimum wage (line-cook and tutor; one gave birth while on pre-ACA medicaid), but that didn't keep them down (thank goodness they weren't saddled with debt, though). I know nothing will keep you down either!

Some folks here were pointing out that "the strategies that work for most" is simply putting your head down and working like a good dog (and apply some ERE strategies to get freedom). It only makes sense to try to find where your own unique cog might fit best for the next couple years. Being on forums full of INTJs is quite a perverted normalization. I know you know all that, just be sure to remember it!

Any personality websites that list careers/jobs that you are really attracted to? Helping others one-on-one is a bit vague (you could do folks' taxes, tutor, auto mechanic, make coffee/liquor, etc). Now that I am out of computer engineering (temporarily probably..) I'm having trouble figuring out what I might want to do (other than fun stuff). Of the boring careers listed for INTJs on various sites, "Corporate Strategist" sounds interesting. I put "CEO", "CTO", and something about venture capital on my LinkedIn under "job titles considering", but no bites yet :roll: :lol: (maybe I can start my own VC fund and get money from ERE forumites? :roll: maybe if micro-investing was a thing..)

Was I far off-base earlier when I posted here that you might enjoy more seasonal, nomadic friendly work? I was really surprised when you announced your choice of job right out of uni (though, who knew, sometimes odd couples make a good match).

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:56 am

Updates - got the job with Coach Mentors @ $30/hour for 4-10 hours per week, and an interview for a 40-hour job as a Case Planner with Abbott House for 42K per year. I'm going to make some relevant projects to present at the interview to make sure they take me. I believe they offer tuition reimbursement after a year too, and there's a good yet cheap Nursing and Social Work grad school near where I live. Could walk out of NY with 100K, a Master's in a field I'm well suited for, and a fixed up jaw. Here's to hope.~

Roommate interviews have been going OK. I found two compatible NF people, but all of the interviewees seem to be a little down and out. I think I should change where I post the room. CL tends to attract people of low socioeconomic backgrounds it seems, whereas what I want is a well-educated, frugal person that is compatible. Like a second me. :lol:

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theanimal
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by theanimal » Fri Feb 16, 2018 1:57 pm

Nice work. So no more Miami?

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:25 pm

No, no more Miami unless if my situation gets really bad. I never liked Miami, either. It's public transit sucks and it has massive sprawl. I also don't want to live with my parents. I've been living on my own since I left at 18, and I don't know what I'd do for work there. Flying back and forth for a year sounds sucky too, even if free in $.

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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by jennypenny » Fri Feb 16, 2018 4:39 pm

TopHatFox wrote:
Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:56 am
Roommate interviews have been going OK. I found two compatible NF people ...
Are you guessing that they're 'NF' people or are you making them take a test? I'm mostly just curious because it wouldn't surprise me if some of the MBTI groupies here actually made potential roommates take a test. I suppose you could ask 3-5 key questions during an interview that would confirm your guess.

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C40
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by C40 » Fri Feb 16, 2018 4:58 pm

:lol: "Ok, answer the following questions on a scale of 1-10, 1 being strongly disagree and 10 being strongly aggre.... "

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Fri Feb 16, 2018 7:15 pm

Hahaha, very funny.~ I can usually pick up on traits pretty quickly just by having a long conversation and trusting my gut. Let's see, some more things I've learned:

1. Never get attached to any one person, thing, job, place, or body. It doesn't mean you can't care and love these things, states, and people, but realize that change is inevitable, and perfectly normal.

2. Set up strong back up plans for everything. Always have a database of new lovers, friends, places, roommates, and jobs. Maintain your quality really high (skills, fitness, hobbies, certifications, appearance) to best attain these benefits as life transitions.

3. Expect events to happen as they do and be adaptable and resilient. A surplus of money or resources is helpful in maintaining compusure and staying present.

4. Do not share all feelings or happenings with any one person. It is romantic to expect any one person to accept all of us. Instead, spread out feelings and happening among a core group.

5. World conditions are as they are. It is my duty to make the best of them to the best of my ability. Irrevant of whether I agree with these conditions or not, I will need to succeed in them as best fits my skill set and background.

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C40
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by C40 » Fri Feb 16, 2018 7:44 pm

Good stuff. I'd suggest loosening up rule 1 a bit. Don't be scared or unwilling to get attached to someone just because it's not going to be forever (or for whatever other reasons). I think an important part is that even when attached and in love, you remain your own person - that you don't become entirely focused on that other person and that your satisfaction with life or with yourself doesn't become too heavily dependent on that person. This is mainly for your own mental and emotional health, but also so that you don't make yourself into a bad/clingy/needy partner. (I don't specifically mean that you do these things, I'm just talking on the subject)

I used to have some kind of strange (partial) assumption that telling a woman I loved them meant more like "I'm going to love you forever". Once I read someone clarifying that INTJs are often very slow to tell partners they love them for that reason, it helped clarify for me that I should consider 'I love you' to mean 'I love you right now'.

Scott 2
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by Scott 2 » Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:22 pm

2 jobs + grad school + food shelter + relationships + dental care sounds like a lot. Do you use a google calendar or planner to model the days? How do you know it all fits?

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Sat Feb 17, 2018 2:01 am

@Scott, once employed during weekdays, I'd bail on the volunteering. Dental work is only once a month for an hour. I'd likely start grad school taking online classes for the first three classes. Those I can complete after work in the evenings one or two at a time. I can do the part-time role on Saturday. Sundays off. Adjust as necessary. I don't think I'll be going to a Columbia or NYU this time around since fin aid for grad school is much less. Classes tend to be much easier with higher acceptance rates. Relationships may just include more "working together in the same room" time, with a relaxing activity on Sunday.~ Since the goal was/is to be well suited for all of these, even if the work is hard, It'd be viable+ to complete. I did work pretty much all the time @ Amherst.

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:50 pm

I've been listening to lots of Aaron Clarey's advice for young people. His ideas for being successful in the current world are often spot on. I'm glad I studied Geology at Amherst rather than one of their liberal arts degrees. The only other suitable degree would've been computer science. If the job for Abbott House ends up being awful and dangerous--and I think it will from the reviews on Glassdoor--I am considering getting a certification to work as a security guard on the night shift. At least that one I can't fuck up since 95% of the time all I'd need to do is sit there and think or work on my own projects. I may try to get a job in Geology and see if I have greater luck in that than getting a job in Social Work. I'd imagine there's less supply of Geologists than liberal arts majors who want to help people. I'm going to have to get over whatever my personality is and make something work. I'm tired of the career debate back and forth. Another thing I need to do as soon as I can is to move far away from NY. The longer I stay here, the more depressed I get. As much as I see the surgery necessary and important, I can't let it keep me down.

I found a Buddhist martial artist who works as a security guard to interview in my room share. References and all. He sounds perfect.

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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by wood » Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:05 am

Once I read someone clarifying that INTJs are often very slow to tell partners they love them for that reason, it helped clarify for me that I should consider 'I love you' to mean 'I love you right now'.
If you add "right now I feel like" in front of every sentence coming out of a woman's mouth, life makes a lot more sense.

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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by Kriegsspiel » Mon Feb 19, 2018 10:47 am

I like a lot of Aaron Clarey's stuff. When he talks about how much he liked security guard work I always think about Mike (Lacking Ambition) saying his ideal job would be a drawbridge operator in HS, or the actual job he got as the night attendant at the mental health place where he could just read books, watch movies, and play video games the whole time.

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7Wannabe5
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:07 pm

@wood:

Right. Also, makes life a whole lot easier when you learn to "ONLY hear a man's statements literally", especially if you toss him in the Goodwill bin like a cheap Chinese watch if his literal statements prove to be unreliable.

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BRUTE
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by BRUTE » Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:55 pm

TopHatFox wrote:
Sun Feb 18, 2018 9:50 pm
I'm glad I studied Geology
wait, TopHatFox studied geology?!

why not get an engineering job with some oil/fracking company in the north then? from what brute heard (VERY anecdotally) it's great money, and the type of work that leaves little time for existential angst at the end of the day.

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BRUTE
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by BRUTE » Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:57 pm

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:07 pm
Also, makes life a whole lot easier when you learn to "ONLY hear a man's statements literally", especially if you toss him in the Goodwill bin like a cheap Chinese watch if his literal statements prove to be unreliable.
is this about the time brute didn't get a gift for Valentine's Day because she said she didn't want a gift for Valentine's Day?

jeez. how is this species not dead.

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7Wannabe5
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Mon Feb 19, 2018 1:24 pm

@BRUTE:

What wood said is about what you did wrong. What I said is about what she did wrong. A person in his masculine energy will communicate through statements of intent and directives and questions seeking information in order to offer better directives. So, if you wish to relate to somebody in his masculine energy, best practice is to only hear these forms of communication. For instance, "You are beautiful" does not mean "I will almost certainly buy you a Valentine's gift." It conveys no intent whatsoever, and at most should just be accepted as indication of adequate reception/echo of your strong feminine vibe of "I am beautiful."

If a woman offers instruction out-of-the-blue such as "Don't bother to buy me a Valentine's gift", proper manly response would be something along the lines of "Don't tell me my business woman." or maybe "That's right, because every day is Valentine's Day when you are with me, baby. Just feel how hard my heart is beating all the way down here in my pants, just for you, my very special Princess."

I am not very creative at expressing my preferences, so if/when a man says something like "Valentines Day is coming up...?", I usually will just say something like "I like chocolate and lingerie.", if I want to let him off the hook easy.

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