Fox's Journey: And Onto the Sunlight!

Where are you and where are you going?
EdithKeeler
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by EdithKeeler » Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:41 pm

Talked to the therapist just now. We decided that I can't stick around in corporate jobs. It just isn't sustainable. It'll be fine as a temporary role to help defray bills. Instead, I'd be better off vying for a job in healthcare, mental health, or similar.... Next step is to change my resume around to make it read more like a resume of a counselor or a programs coordinator.More importantly, I'll actually be in flow more often and much happier....
Healthcare and mental health jobs are super stressful. Burnout is a big problem among healthcare workers and healthcare workers have surprisingly high levels of drug use.

How many times have you seen this therapist? You were still looking for one on December 24, so I'm guessing you've seen her/him what--two or three times? An hour each time? I'm wondering how a therapist helps you decide after just a couple of visits what your future career will be. How is that even what a therapist does? I've spent some time with therapists and actually talked about similar career issues, etc. This seems odd to me. In my case they gave me some exercises and tests to help me focus my thinking and interests. It was kind of a process. How have you and he/she decided you'll "actually be in flow more often and much happier" since these are not jobs you've ever actually done?

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:50 pm

Not just healthcare or mental health. Those are ideas. And what, burnout isn't a big problem in corporate finance? Give me a f*king break.

All I decided is that finance and tech are not for me after trying them for half a year, and now I'm going to try something else that is more suited to me. Whether it ultimately makes me happier or not, time will tell.
Last edited by TopHatFox on Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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daylen
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by daylen » Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:54 pm

I think you could have easily persevered without one. What does the therapist know that you couldn't find out yourself?

This is the time to take calculated risk and experiment.

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Sat Jan 06, 2018 8:56 pm

Mostly keeping me from killing myself.~ : ) And lots of experience talking to other folks with similar transition issues. Each session is $30. It's nice to have someone to talk through life challenges with. It's like having a life coach looking from the outside in.

James_0011
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by James_0011 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 9:03 pm

Yeah I guess what I said was pretty negative, but I hate therapists so I’m a bit biased (I’ve been going to one ever since my parents brought me at age ten. I figured out early on that they are full of shit).

James_0011
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by James_0011 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 9:05 pm

Also, from my experience veganism causes mental health issues. Animal nutrients are needed for hormonal health.

slowtraveler
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by slowtraveler » Sat Jan 06, 2018 9:19 pm

I think animal fats are very healing but THF does what he wants and follows his heart.

I think it's good you're feeling better. Sometimes, therapists can help with that. If only to help you see you're not alone.

George the original one
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by George the original one » Sat Jan 06, 2018 9:28 pm

Wait, taking advice from a psychotherapist for career counseling? Wrong person. They're just going to echo what you feel, especially when they've not even put you through some aptitude tests yet. Follow the career counseler's advice in that department.

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Sat Jan 06, 2018 9:46 pm

Cognitive behavioral therapist, and I've already taken the aptitude tests and done the journaling on my own from the Radical Personal Finance course (Strengths Finder, Myerrs Briggs, Kobi, and DISC). It is the job of therapists to listen to their patient and act like a bouncing board of ideas and feelings. A good therapist let's you figure out your problems on your own by asking good questions and practicing active listening. I've already talked to a few career counselors at AC. And, ta da - they said the same thing as the therapist.

Veganism causes mental health issues? Seriously? I've felt totally healthy and fine while eating a WFPB diet, and I've also felt like shit. Oh, and when I was growing up eating meat, I also felt healthy at times and like shit at other times. Also, eating meat causes cancer and heart attacks. Oo, see I can make bold claims too.

I feel like I'm wasting my time here. Why am I having to defend that my current line of jobs suck and I want to do something that aligns with my values and skill set? I literally need around 10K a year to be OK. I'm sure any job requiring a college degree is enough.

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C40
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by C40 » Sat Jan 06, 2018 10:32 pm

One nice thing about internet forums is that you can just ignore comments that you don't like / don't wish to have a conversation about and things will still generally carry on just fine.

(Whereas, in person, like, say, at work, when people used to voice really stupid ideas to me, sometimes I'd basically just ignore them (because I didn't want to say "well, that's the stupidest idea I've heard all month", but then from me ignoring their idea they would think that I think they are stupid, which, I guess, was partly true - mainly I thought they were ok but had stupid ideas sometimes. That's not so good for work relationships)

That said, I think in your current state, you're more likely than usual to interpret things as more negative than people mean them. (I'm also in a mental rut and I catch myself doing it. Today I leaned out my van window and yelled at a vato who was trying to pass me in a stupid and selfish way. In better moods, I still would have challenged him (bigger vehicles usually get the other to back down) but I would've laughed it off. Man, there are a lot of shit drivers here in Mexico.

slowtraveler
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by slowtraveler » Sat Jan 06, 2018 10:46 pm

I don't think you have to defend yourself. You're realizing that a lot of the people preaching are in a different situation than you. You have the skills to live on little so you have way more freedom. You already tried one career path, time to try the next so you can find what works for you. You're doing fine Fox, I got no doubts you'll make it there.

Quadalupe
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by Quadalupe » Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:35 am

@THF, a therapist can be a very good idea! I visited one myself when I was depressed, and it was so freeing to be able to talk to someone without holding back anything.

May I ask you two questions?

First of all, you said
We [therapist and THF] decided that I can't stick around in corporate jobs.
Maybe I misunderstood you, but I hope that the only thing the therapist did was to help you to find this out for yourself! A good therapist asks thought-provoking questions, but never answers them themselves.

Does your therapist help you answer your own questions, or do they also supply answers?

Secondly, it seems to me that your 'Revelations Per Minute' is very high. Almost every post you seem to have a new plan/insight that you want to immediately follow up to. To some extent, I think it is great that you are so driven about creating a good life for yourself. The only downside might be that you might give up promising pursuits before they work out. That is, you never get past the horizontal part of the S-curve.

Do you agree?

Finally, don't forget to be also be grateful for what you *do* have! You have a nice partner, a sizable chunk of money for your age, are in good health. It might be helpful to sometimes also reflect on that.

Crazylemon
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by Crazylemon » Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:52 am

I am glad you have made a decision that sounds like it going to work a lot better for you. Being miserable every day is not a great way to live and as Jacob has said earning more than median was is still great.

It is so easy inplaces like this and MMM moreso to feel your salary needs to be higher (even I get this from time to time...)

As someone who works in healthcare yes it is stressful from time to time but you work with a largely good group of people who have a broad common purpose most people can agree is good And worthwhile. It is a nice sector to work in. Yes there is burn out. Yes there are problems. But there are in any job. The good outweighs the bad pretty obviously in my book.

Best of luck. I am glad the therapist is helping.

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TheWanderingScholar
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TheWanderingScholar » Sun Jan 07, 2018 6:20 am

@THF: Whatever you do, best of luck. I just got two main categories of advice.

Staying on the Same Career Path:
I would suggest trying to going to a firm that is slower and in an area which is less hectic than say NYC, but that might be like this second job. If not get a job working with the public sector as that might be more attractive to the F side of your personality. However I can understand that a career type would be useful for you. (As an INTP being a counselor would be my living nightmare.)

New Path:
If you want to work in the health career path, go for it. I am not you and cannot tell you want you want to do. If the problem you are having is not dealing with numbers but instead something else, may I suggest epidemiologist, as you have GIS and some statistical background which and will help that fact of getting a job. But if is the rational analysis side that is bothering you, best of luck with your career path.

As someone who has moved to Eastern Europe, it is nearly impossible to American levels wages unless you work in fin-tech or something along those lines which even then would top around 40,000 USD before taxes which is much essentially a little above national average.

EDIT: Sentence structure told a lie which I did not meant to say.

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:34 am

In-Room Renting

I cleared it through my landlord and decided to get a room divider to either:

1. Rent out half of my room ($275/mo), or
2. Air BnB half of the room (How much do you think I could earn via AirBnb?)

Doing this with the right people means more community in an otherwise lonely apartment and an additional income of 3-4K/yr. I have no idea why I haven't done this all along throughout the past few years. With the right person (and that is the key), it's a clear win-win. Some strategies to make it work even better is finding an INFP or INFJ to room with, creating a brief weekly schedule of when we'll be in the room, discussing guests ahead of time using that schedule, and minimalism.

----------------------------

Threadcleaning:

From now on, I will be deleting any comments that are negative without any constructive ideas following them. As MMM would say, this thread is my house and no one is allowed to shit on it.:P

----------------------------

Braces:

I finally got them on this past Monday. I paid the amount in a lump sum, so that's $5.4K out the window. I've already noticed my teeth moving. Hopefully I'll be ready to get the surgery in just 6 months and then switch the hell out of COBRA.

----------------------------

Parents:

I completely lashed out at the parents before yesterday for being horrible money managers for the past 2 decades. How their mortgage has been underwater, how they don't track expenses or revenue for their side business, how they lease their cars, how the house is way too big for their needs, how they can easily just bus commute to their jobs, etc. Most of it came from the fact, that if they were better money managers, I wouldn't be having the problem of braces now. In fact, braces when I was a kid would've been only 3K, with no surgery required. I convinced them to rent TWO rooms hat have otherwise been sitting empty since my brother and I left. That could mean an additional 12K/yr of income where they otherwise earn around 40K together. My part would be finding the people and making sure it goes smoothly. I don't care if they give me a share of the money or not, because either way it helps me in them paying down equity in the mortgage. Or maybe they'll feel bad and give me some to help pay down braces, or help my brother pay down student debt.

I feel like I'm the only one in my family that is succeeding in terms of net worth/money management. The only thing that's different between me and my brother is that I'm willing to ride my bike and take the bus to work. Or live in a small room. Same thing with my parents. If anything being scrappy and strategic is one of my biggest assets. I just wish my parents wouldn't have to die in their 70's with government assets and a life in America spent working shitty jobs day after day. Normally I try my best not to think about this shit storm, but when I could use some help it's hard not to.

----------------------------

New Love Interest

Met someone on OKc yesterday, E, that seems really rad. ENFP working at an outdoor education camp, history of activism, enjoyment of nature. We'll be going on a hike tomorrow : )

Things are still going really well with C, too. It's been nice to support one another over the past 6 months!

---------------------------

Career

I'm pretty unlikely to stay at the recruiting job. It is way better than the asset management job. MInimal spreadsheets, number crunching, and stress out co-workers. Still, the hours are 10 hours a day for 50 hours per week, and I'm not meaningfully interacting with people throughout the day. E mentioned that her camp is hiring in the wilderness north of NY, and I may inquire more.

I ran some numbers on this compound interest calculator: http://www.moneychimp.com/calculator/co ... ulator.htm

Starting out with 65K and saving 27K/yr at 6% for 10 years, I'd be at around 500K by my 33rd birthday. I think I can do better than that. If I save 35K/yr at 6% for 10 years, I'd have 600K by my 33rd birthday. With 35K/yr at 6% for 5 years, I'd still be at around 300K by my 28th birthday. Even at 25K/yr at 6% for 5 years, I'd be at 236K on my 28th birthday.

All of that is to say that I can sitll take a 35-45K social worker, counselor, healthcare practioner job, live on 5-10K, and get to my financial goals. Bonus points if I find a non-profit that would pay for a Masters via Magic^tm.

---------------------------

Networth: Look a distraction
Last edited by TopHatFox on Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:00 pm, edited 5 times in total.

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theanimal
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by theanimal » Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:49 am

I'll be interested to see how the room situation works out. How big is the space and how do you plan on finding someone?

And fyi.. only moderators can edit or delete other people's posts.

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Sat Jan 13, 2018 11:53 am

Well then I'll report you lovely bastards :D

With love of course.<3

I'd guess the room is about 12 feet by 10 feet. It looks pretty nice with tapestries on the wall, hard wood floors, an "Asian style" divider, and some flowers on the window sill. I've only used Craigslist and interviewing in the past. Do you have any suggestions?

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BRUTE
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by BRUTE » Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:04 pm

brute recommends not being too hard on TopHatFox' human family.

families are made of humans, and humans are notoriously flawed. humaning is hard, especially parenting. brute has never known any humans that parented right. it's just a scale of how much they fucked up their human kids. not being beaten and getting addicted to drugs and going to prison is pretty much the top 10% outcome.
Last edited by BRUTE on Sun Jan 14, 2018 7:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

raiser
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by raiser » Sat Jan 13, 2018 6:35 pm

Its super competitive and odds are you will need some pedagogy courses / student teaching but NY Teachers are the highest paid in the country. Most teachers on Long Island and Westchester start at 60-70k out of college. Max at 110-150k depending on the district and if they do after-school activities. They have social workers in every school. Perks are NYS Employee Healthcare, 457b (can pull money without penalty the day you retire) and you get all of the school holidays and summers off. Other route is to get into civil service. Can get a pension out of it, but tier 6 is not as good as the old tiers. My biggest issue with it is the golden handcuffs of a pension that keeps you stuck in NY.

http://seethroughny.net/payrolls/#wholeNameGroup
http://www.highered.nysed.gov/tcert/cer ... certs.html
http://humanresources.westchestergov.co ... vice-exams
http://www.osc.state.ny.us/retire/employers/tier-6/

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TopHatFox
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Re: Fox's Journey: Out of the Burrow

Post by TopHatFox » Sat Jan 13, 2018 6:45 pm

Hm unfortunately I don't think I'd be a very good fit as a teacher. Too much time working with large groups. Sustainably speaking, I'd be able to work with small groups or one-on-one. Competitive environments or careers also tend to be highly stressful. My expense level means I don't need to be in such an environment. Being a social worker or school counselor could work. I've thought of civil service. That could definitely be a decent path to, though I've yet to figure out the NY state pre-job testing though. Do you know anything about the government pre-job testing? How does one even get a job with the government?

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