Egg's journal

[Egg]

The stock market tanked not too long after my last update. In our case, not that major an impact on Net Worth because - against the advice of some people at the time - we paid cash for our house when we bought it almost exactly three years ago rather than taking a mortgage and deploying the firepower elsewhere. That puts NW at ~£152k i.e. down about 2% from December 2019's update. That doesn't account for the fact that we've added around £4k to stocks and shares ISA since then, so total paper losses at this point are more like £7k i.e. 4.5% since December. I also imagine house prices might take somewhat of a hit, but that's really difficult to quantify right now (and would be potentially good news for us anyway, as would allow us to switch up into more of a "forever house" at lower financial cost).

More importantly. our son continues to grow and develop well, and we've managed to dodge COVID-19 so far, as have our more vulnerable family members. I'm also lucky to have a stable job that can be done perfectly well from home, so have been going out only for groceries for the best part of a month now. Although I'm not crazy for the actual work, I feel undeservedly lucky to be in this position, and feel really bad seeing swathes of people around us struggling right now through no particular fault of their own. Makes me lean a bit more tax-and-spend socialist like some of our Continental allies. But for the grace of God...

[Egg]

Things have ticked up a bit financially since my last post. Actually not that far off break-even since COVID-19 kicked off, even on the equity part of the portfolio, having also bought a bit more VWRL around the low (to date) - down around £2k as of right now rather than the £7k a month ago. That doesn't feel right but what the fuck do I know about market timing?

Also got a promotion, which should take effect in mid-June. By UK standards, pretty good salary (without being too precise, noticeably over £60k) which will make me top 10% of pre-tax earners (or, more depressingly, on par with a solid US graduate starting salary :S). Considering I'm still just about under 30, feels like career is starting to get a bit of momentum - though I've always been a little ambivalent about climbing the greasy pole. We'll see how it all goes.

Family and I still healthy. Fingers crossed. Hope anyone reading this is also keeping well.

[Egg]

I'm surprised by how surprised I can still be by my own expenses, having paid reasonable attention to them for years. April was quite cheap due to being cooped up in the house. I rarely bother to tot up the exact figures these days, and remain embarassingly far from the ERE ideal, but this month we spent £735 between the three of us (well, the baby spent zero technically). Since this is at least £500 less than usual, my main reflection is that I had been been spending more than I realised pre-COVID on car parking, fuel, and buying lunch when travelling for work. That's the main thing that's changed; it definitely wasn't being spent on "fun stuff" for the family. Side reflection: some people live off this much every month. It's roughly the same as a full UK state pension and more than a couple's monthly Jobseekers Allowance. I wouldn't know what had hit me if I was spending at this level by necessity rather than choice.

For old time's sake, here's a monthly finance report.

April

Income - £2600

Expenditure - £735
Council tax - £110
Energy - £80
Water - £30
Union fees - £30
Netflix - £12
Internet - £20
Groceries - £275
Presents - £75
Baby stuff on Amazon - ~£80
Other stuff - ~£25

Savings rate: 72%

~7 years to retirement if COVID never ever ends. Which also means:

Goals

-FI by 33 (not currently on track, but need to start winning from compounding, rather than losing net worth to inflation)

Good one, early-twenties Egg. Although in a dystopian perma-lockdown future, not that far off...

[Egg]

General update - May

COVID-19 continues to figure pretty heavily in our lives, as I'm sure it does for most people. Staying at home still feels relaxing and pleasant, and am experiencing zero cabin fever so far. Son is a total dude and a joy to be around. Weather has also been amazing, so plenty of time outside enjoying the garden.

Financials - May

Spending was roughly average. We spent £1628 this month (38% SR), which is more than usual, but £623 of that was annual car insurance, so pretty standard otherwise. We also bought some useful things for baby and garden, which I think will do us for a long time (garden especially - baby is a constant stream of buying different stuff tbf).

Financials - pensions

One financial consideration I find hard to factor in (and therefore don't even try) is the value of a defined benefit pension (I don't count pension contributions in savings rate either, so in a sense they are a drag on 'canonical' 25x-expenses-accumulated FI). If we live to state pension age (67) we're already good for an income of £6k+ p.a., and within 5-6 years should be good for our entire expenses (say £18k p.a.) from that age, even if I go part time in the interim.

With state pension age being almost 40 years away, we don't count it at all - rules could change etc. etc. On the other hand, there's a good chance we'll find ourselves suddenly showering in gold coins when it's of little use to us, and even probably too late to be of maximum use to our children either.

Obviously that'd be a nice problem to have, but it seems a shame not to be able to factor it in. However, it will realistically take us another 10+ years to reach 25x expenses, where we'd still have almost 30 years to bridge to state pension age, so pensions would be of next to zero FIRE value. I might even end up opting out of the pension scheme even though it's great value (2.32% of pensionable pay in a CARE pot, in return for 5.45% (going up to 7.35% when I get my payrise) of gross salary).

Closing note

Anyway, enough about money. Hope everyone is keeping well. We're definitely playing it safe here in terms of self-isolation, but things in the UK generally looking a lot looser of late. They might even ask me to go back to office soon

In case anyone apart from me actully reads this journal, I'm open to any recommendations for good podcasts. No particular topic - preferably something off the beaten track. Need not have any utilitarian value.

[Egg]

Here's a great podcast about a real life mystery, if you're into that type of thing:

Thanks for the recommendation. Really enjoyed the Somerton Man episode (just got round to listening to it finally). Love a good mystery.

Not really into sci-fi, but will also check out your other recommendation as soon as I get a bit of spare time.

[Egg]

Quite an unusual month for us. We moved house for the new job, which means we'll be burning through an extra almost £1k per month in rent on the new place, and of course there were various moving costs (around £400 to shift our stuff - I hired a van and drove it myself but spent quite a lot on fuel and a bit on motorway coffee) and a deposit to put down (a little over £1k).

Hope to claw some of the monthly cost back by renting out the old house (would rent for around £750-800pcm) but will really feel the pain of a 40% marginal income tax rate as/when that happens.

In the short term, this promotion will be cashflow negative to the tune of a few hundred pounds per month, but is already roughly neutral for net worth when including higher pension contributions and student loan repayment, and will turn cashflow positive if we can get the old house rented in, say, 2 months' time.

So in short, we've stood roughly still on finances this month.

There is plenty to be happy about though. The new neighbourhood feels much nicer than the old one - in particular we're close to parks and stuff, and the air quality is much better. We also have a bit more space - around 950 square feet - as a slight future proofing against our second baby which we're expecting in December (I don't think I even mentioned this before - it's the pessimist in me that wants to see a pregnancy 'stick' before I let myself get too excited). So yeah, life continues to treat our family well.

[Egg]

New job has proven pretty tough so far. I'm learning a lot. Whether or not the stuff I'm learning about is worth knowing is another question, but the feeling of coming to terms with something new and hard (well, hard for me) is one that I enjoy, albeit in a grimly perverse way.

The downside is less time/energy for the family. By the time I get home I'm exhausted, and I know I will likely burn out of I keep this up very long. Of course, I'm an unreliable narrator of my own life - doubly so when I'm being slightly careful about what I write online - but I think I've developed a degree of addiction to the salaryman grind since starting this journal.

[Egg]

Wherever you go, there you are.

Yes indeed. Fuck.

Taking some leave this week. Had really been feeling under the cosh at work these past weeks -- entirely self-inflicted. Somewhat regretting moving the whole family halfway across the country for negligible financial benefit, nor indeed any other real benefit to them, and as far as I can tell largely because of my own status-seeking dysfunctionality. Hey ho; not much point in that regret, of course, but I hope I remember it next time I get the bright idea of chasing promotion at the very edge of my capabilities/experience. Wife is very supportive about everything, but in retrospect it was a selfish move.

[Egg]

In a classic case of "well that escalated quickly" I realised that my assertion of no point in regret wasn't really accurate. I have since discussed with my wife and agreed in principle to hand in my (3 month) notice by the end of this week. We're tied into another 9 months of relatively expensive rental lease in a town we don't have any reason to stay in except my job, but even if the landlord holds us to that contract, we have enough money to last a couple of years with zero work once we move back into our own paid-off house.

That means a couple of years to either:

1) Be around the kids and actually do some active fathering, bum around a bit, try to get some more casual work if possible, maybe travel a little, and see how that lifestyle suits and how quickly it burns through savings (possibly not at all with enough casual work).

Or

2) Apply for something I've quietly fancied for a while which pays relatively shit - a 2 year software development apprenticeship - and see how that goes if I get accepted onto it.

It's scary as fuck for me to contemplate quitting a job but I can also see that if I don't, I may never get off the treadmill of empty ambition.

Any thoughts welcome.

[ertyu]

both 1 and 2 sound awesome to me, looks like a win-win whichever way things shake out.

As for regret, no reason to wallow in it as long as you learned something, and it looks like you did. Enjoy, whichever way things pan out!

[Egg]

both 1 and 2 sound awesome to me, looks like a win-win whichever way things shake out.

As for regret, no reason to wallow in it as long as you learned something, and it looks like you did. Enjoy, whichever way things pan out!

Thanks, yeah I generally agree. The only "lose" is if I either:

1) Can't get over myself and the loss of the social status aspect of work.
2) We run out of money and I or my wife can't get a job that covers the bills.
3) I have to do something really onerous/ unpleasant full-time to keep the family financially afloat, that is less fun than my current job.
4) Once I start hanging out more with the wife, I realise we actually hate each other, we get divorced, I pay expensive child maintenance for ever, and she elopes to Mexico to marry my best friend.

Okay, I'll stop before my mind starts running off any further...

As to regret, yeah I probably sound melodramatic on the thread, but I don't think I'm actually too bad for wallowing irl. Can't think of any regrets that keep me awake at night, and I must have made some bad calls over 30 years. The bliss of poor memory, perhaps!

[ertyu]

2 and 3 don't depend on you, but for 1), you seem like you'll be fine. In the post above, you already say you realized status seeking through the current job/move was a fool's errand. This means that even if the loss of status starts to get to you, you would be conscious of what is happening and would deal with it instead of being reactively unconscious and acting out to compensate for the loss of ego. 4) sounds like it won't be an issue for the same reason - you sound like you'd be on the lookout for it and will not take it personally and address it.

[Biscuits and Gravy]

Hey, Egg, skimmed through your journal a bit and read your last few posts. Props to recognizing and deciding to jump off the empty ambition treadmill, that takes bravery, especially with another Mini-Egg on the way. Option 1 has the downsides of a hole in your resume (speaking as a drone salaryman myself) plus the draw-down on your savings, but the upsides of enjoying the first few years of your Mini-Eggs' little baby lives and (I'm assuming here, sorry if I'm wrong) shouldering some of your wife's burden of being the primary caretaker. Option 2 sounds cool, too, and no better time than the present to try something new, right? Like ertyu said, sounds like you got a win-win. Good on you and good luck with the babies.

[ertyu]

This is a v good point from gravy. It could be staying home with wife will make your guys' relationship stronger just bc she's not the only one stuck with the children all the time, looking forward to you coming home so she can shut herself in a room for 30 min so everyone would stop. fucking. touching her. lol

[Biscuits and Gravy]

It's a tough gig. My husband is the primary caretaker of our kids and I do not envy him in the slightest. When he said he actually wanted to stay home with the kids (and that he enjoys it! mind blown), I thought he was crazy. But, some people are more suited to it.

[Egg]

Thanks ertyu and Biscuits and Gravy. Yeah, I definitely think my wife would appreciate a hand with the babies. Just the one baby right now takes up so much of her time/energy that we were both a bit apprehensive about coping with the second - at least during the early days of both of them being so young. This may be two birds with one stone if the timings work out right. And agree it's a tough gig compared to most office jobs.

I feel increasingly emboldened to go ahead and make this happen having also bounced this off a couple of people offline. It could all go fairly wrong, but I've always liked the following quote from my second-favourite Danish writer, and it feels apposite in this kind of situation:

To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself - Kierkegaard

Will chat to the boss tomorrow if I can catch him...

[Egg]

I kinda did it, kinda not. Boss thinks it's my mental health that is at issue here rather than the job per se that is making me feel burnt out and not spend enough time with family (I agree) so he's letting me leave at the end of my notice period if I still feel the same way in a few months, but I have to go see a doctor about my mental health and he will reduce my workload in the interim. If I don't want to go after that, I don't have to. Think that was pretty generous of him.

[Fiddle]

Sounds good either way you go Egg. If you stay they'll be a bit more careful towards you regarding workload and general treatment I imagine as they know you're not afraid to hit the eject button.
If you leave, you'll have the time to be present with your young family without the stresses of demanding work.

When I had a similar situation I negotiated the 5day week office based role into working from home and part time 3 days a week. I still walked away, as I really knew my heart wasn't in it- I was super burned out, and i personally had a bigger calling to spend time with my little children.

[Egg]

When I had a similar situation I negotiated the 5day week office based role into working from home and part time 3 days a week. I still walked away, as I really knew my heart wasn't in it- I was super burned out, and i personally had a bigger calling to spend time with my little children.

Hey Fiddle. Thanks for your comment. I agree that it will make them think harder about my workload, albeit at the cost of some respect - not because of the mental health issues per se, but just because I went from 0-100 without checking in with the boss on the way.

Sounds like you made a pretty good call to focus on the parenting. I'm tending that way too, even though I've felt weirdly great at work this week (and sort of believe in what we're doing, at least 70-80%). I could imagine doing something similar to you and dropping out for a while, only to come back to a similar type of work at a more junior grade. Particularly because I recognise management as one of the things I don't really enjoy now the novelty has worn off - and management comes with the territory for all but the most junior staff.

About to start medication which I think will even out some of my wild mood swings. Also experimenting with:

- Gratitude
- Mood journalling
- Meditation in the mornings
- Cold showers
- CBT (on waiting list)

[guitarplayer]

I'm rooting for you Egg!

Recalling your journal, I think you are imaginative enough to find a way to make money (and probably lots of it) later on when desired, if deciding to quit the current one in ~3 months. And you have a house that is paid off, I think the situation where you'd struggle with money would be very unlikely.

It would be a great lifestyle change though!