A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Where are you and where are you going?
IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

Western Red Cedar wrote:
Tue Jul 13, 2021 11:36 am
... Hoping this is the first major step towards a happy, healthy, new phase of life.
Thank you, WRC!

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

I initiated the termination of employment process today.

Being a conservative person by nature I maintain awareness of the good aspects/benefits of most situations. Not a surprise that it wasn't the triumphant emergence from the fray one might daydream about in an unguarded moment. Just a tick in a box on a long list. But a check that's maybe a little bigger and bolder than most of the rest. :D

7Wannabe5
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Congratulations!

For some reason your last post made me recall how my father used to mow our suburban lawn on the weekend wearing an old pair of black office shoes, black office socks, short sleeve office shirt, and ancient Bermuda shorts.

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mountainFrugal
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by mountainFrugal »

Congrats! I did a quick sketch of what your form likely looked like. I think I got the ILLINI colors about right.

Image

Tyler9000
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by Tyler9000 »

Isn't it funny how one little bit of paperwork can totally free up your future? Congrats!

RockyMtnLiving
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by RockyMtnLiving »

That is simply a wonderful post, mountainFrugal. It made my day, and I will laugh about it all day, too.

And IlliniDave, congrats!

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Seppia
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by Seppia »

Huge congrats! This is good news.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

mountainFrugal wrote:
Wed Jul 14, 2021 3:38 pm
Congrats! I did a quick sketch of what your form likely looked like. I think I got the ILLINI colors about right.
That was the "Post of the Thread". I thought about PMing Jacob and asking for a policy exception to delete all the follow on posts and locking the thread, haha. Good job on the colors!

Thanks, everyone else for the congratulatory sentiments. I could have predicted this, but of course the day I pull the plug the stock market begins a 3-day (and counting) downward trend while inflation shows no signs of flagging soon. Hopefully anyone who noticed I hit the eject button and who was not already divested sold out first thing Wednesday morning. :lol:

I feel like I've finally turned the corner with the house. Yesterday my daughter was over and we went though the caches of stuff I was putting off dealing with because I thought there was a fair amount therein that she would want to keep, either because it would be useful for them, or for sentimental reasons, or both. We've got a small truck rented today to move some furniture and other stuff to her house. A distressing amount will be headed for the landfill, but I feel better getting a second opinion from her that the stuff has no sentimental value, wouldn't be useful to her, and is unsuitable for donation.

I have one last little cache to finish excavating. It's mostly old junk of mine, much of which dates back prior to my getting married. It's lagging just because it's a bit of a pain to get to. From there everything will be in plain sight and it just a matter of either packing or disposing.

The house is getting pretty uncomfortable as the presale upgrades get into full swing. At this moment I have no no running water nor usable appliances in the kitchen (but have nice new shiny countertops). The floor in the LR and DR is just slab, the dining room table is disassembled pending donation, and by this evening after the aforementioned furniture is moved there will be nowhere to sit on the lower level of the house except a couple rather uncomfortable dining room chairs. Monday I'll call to get TV shut off and haul my vintage 90s 25" CRT off to the household "hazardous waste" recycling center since I've got nowhere to sit and watch it any longer. The house losing big chunks of its hominess erodes what attachment I had and makes me want to get on with it.

I sent my farewell note to present and former colleagues at the customer facility Thursday. The most thoughtful responses came from those who had moved the farthest onward and upward since our days working together. The common theme was "you made a difference". It might have been perfunctory but was surprising and although I tend to downplay (to myself as well as to others) the significance of my work in my life, that they said that made a difference. The note also prompted an initial healing of a relationship that spanned professional and personal which went awry some years back through a combination of misunderstanding and circumstance. That also made me feel good.

There's still a lot to do and I'm sure there are moments of angst to come, but I'm in a good place for the time being.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

Reasons N+1 and N+2 why stepping away is a good idea.

N+1: Yesterday I was basically forced to take an exit survey. It was a bazillion and six questions about why I was leaving my Megacorp for a competing Megacorp. Question 1 was "Whay are you leaving?". I ticked the box for "retiring". That should have instantly grayed out the other bazillion and 5 questions as irrelevant. But it didn't. I had to answer each one to get it to register as complete, and the stupid thing was inserted into the exit process in a way that progress was halted until it was complete. Stupid.

N+2: This morning I have to sit through a midyear performance assessment. God forbid a single box in the HR machine does not get checked in a timely manner.

Neither are really a big deal but the inanity is less tolerable than when my mindset was one of soldiering on.

Markets on a 4-day losing streak since I made it official.

Married2aSwabian
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by Married2aSwabian »

Never fear, it looks like the markets are set to continue celebrating your retirement today! Congrats on making it official! DW often jokes that the best way to predict a market downturn is after we have just finished buying some stocks.

I would queue up Pink Floyd “Welcome to the Machine” and kind have that as background music during the performance review. :lol:

Is your company German? They’re really big on box checking, dotting I’s and crossing T’s.

Best of luck with the continued journey - is mindfulness still part of it for you?

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

Married2aSwabian wrote:
Tue Jul 20, 2021 8:04 am
...
Is your company German? They’re really big on box checking, dotting I’s and crossing T’s.

Best of luck with the continued journey - is mindfulness still part of it for you?
No, but I believe the software platform they use for HR and other internal business systems is from a German vendor. :lol:

Currently I am about as far away from mindfulness as one can get. But I do hope that as things calm down and I move into my decompression period some of that will return if I make the effort to focus on it.

RockyMtnLiving
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by RockyMtnLiving »

IlliniDave wrote:
Tue Jul 20, 2021 11:46 am
No, but I believe the software platform they use for HR and other internal business systems is from a German vendor. :lol:
My hunch is that such exit interviews/surveys are driven by legal considerations, and thus the employer's lawyers. On the eve of one's exit, employers use tools and devices, such as the proverbial "exit interview", to preclude post-employment claims and litigation based on, for example, age discrimination. Your (now or soon to be former) employer doesn't care about your future plans, reason(s) for leaving, what have you. They just want, to the best of their ability, to snuff out any future claims you may have against them.

We are all replaceable in the work force; and the residual is dictated by the lawyers. Such is life in our capitalistic society. So if it makes you feel any better on the way out the door (and it should), your employer -- like all employers -- only wanted to ensure you wouldn't sue them; that is all they really wanted to know. More accurately, they wanted to create a contemporaneous record of your departure to defeat future claims.

It will be business as usual for them the day after you are gone, as it is for all of us. Cogs in the machine and all that.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

RockyMtnLiving wrote:
Tue Jul 20, 2021 8:09 pm
... It will be business as usual for them the day after you are gone, as it is for all of us. Cogs in the machine and all that.
I'm already fully replaced and fit the the definition of RIP (retired in place). So I don't have any illusions about my worth from the top looking down. I was a pretty good employee, but at the end of the day on the big parts list I was simply:

1 ea., engineering unit

Interesting hunch regarding the legalities. I took more of an Occam's Razor view in that STEM-types drive the company's products and services and it seems like for the last three years there's been a frenzy among the industry players in recruiting and retaining their technical workforce. In that context it makes sense to canvass departing employees regarding their reasons for leaving, although its of dubious value for retirees. I don't know how useful my survey responses would be as a legal defense since the vast majority of questions and multiple choice responses were obviously inapplicable. But maybe that's part of their motive regarding non-retirement departures and I got swept in by inflexible policy.

Friday 7/30 at 10 am Central I trudge in to have the stripes torn from my shoulder and my sword broken. So not only do I have a date, but I also have a time, a place, and a person. It's been a small scale emotional roller coaster the last 10 days or so, which has become an annoyance. As the details get fleshed out relief is clawing its way to the top of the heap.

I've been having an interesting conversation with an acquaintance from another site. She's younger than me and been retired some months now (she'd also fit in fairly well here in that lifestyle moderation/frugality is central to her early retirement). For the last few years we've been sharing our respective psychological journeys and there are a lot of parallels. One thing she shared recently is that although she generally viewed her job/career as neutral in terms of its contribution to her overall quality of life, she's now realizing that it had a lot of sneaky adverse impacts that are now waning. I'm starting to think I'll discover the same. She also said she spent the first month regretting the decision and kicking herself for being foolish for scuttling a very secure and comfortable existence. I'm sure I'll have my moments but I'm hopeful I'll be less susceptible to that simply because I hung in relatively longer than she did (I'm a little older) and so have more financial wherewithal and am looking at a shorter life expectancy. However, she found it temporary and seems to be on the upswing. She used an expression I'd never heard but she identified as a common saying: "How did I find time for work all those years?" I like that and found it encouraging. I made one up I kept on my white board for many years: "MMDDYYYY (was actually a date in the past I don't recall), the day I can no longer afford to spend my time chasing money." Similar sentiment and in my mind they make a nice pair.

Another interesting thing about leaving after such a long time is finding out developed some degree of fondness for me as a coworker and who apparently did not. It seems pretty random. The moral of the story is a) don't totally depend on coworkers for a lasting social network and b) don't despair over all the little things you did you thought went unrecognized--they probably did not.

I have created one situation with negative consequences. A coworker I've never met in person became a technical mentor to me in the strange turn my career went over the last 5 years. But I'm a good bit older than she is so at the same time I sort of became a life/career path mentor for her. Lately she's been upset, frustrated, and angst-filled about the direction of her life and career. In a Skype last week it dawned on me that my frequent mention of my upcoming launch had the effect of rubbing her face in a plateful of typical mid-career frustrations. I never felt the need to be especially cagey about my plans--never occurred to me that it could be situationally inconsiderate. I hope I can make amends for that in what little time I have left.

7Wannabe5
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

I think the other side to the coin of “How did I find time for work all those years?” is “The work fills the time allowed for it.” This is neither good nor bad. For instance, spending the whole day answering my morning routine question “What’s for dinner?” might be delightful (coffee in garden, bicycle to market, afternoon baking, conversation with guest, etc.) However, it has been my experience that even a very low conventional work ethic motivated human like me will eventually hit bouncy bottom internal motivation to once again focus on “getting things done.” Difference being that when retired or slacker semi-retired/self-employed, your things to be done list must be largely self-generated.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Wed Jul 21, 2021 6:45 am
I think the other side to the coin of “How did I find time for work all those years?” is “The work fills the time allowed for it.” ...
There's certainly something to that observation. I can say with a fair degree of certainty that in my past work was in ink and for the most part other things had to fit around it (with a few occasional exceptions). But especially in younger workers I detect more of the flip side of the coin.

It's funny you mention the "What's for dinner?" question. That's one of the more difficult day-to-day struggles my dad has a widower. When I was a family guy there was a more egalitarian division of household/parenting chores so it's mostly an afterthought for me. Might change though.

It will be interesting to see how my daily itinerary evolves. I haven't given it too much thought other than I've decided that for at least the first five months I'm going to try not to have one as much as possible. In time I'll probably succumb to the need to accomplish things, although my definition of "accomplish" will probably be tailored differently than simple diction would imply. Having rhythm in my day-to-day existence is important to my well being so I will probably wind up with a hybrid routine-ritual. Something like wake-up, hit the rower, pick up the guitar, morning errands if required, outdoor activity for the day, siesta, ask what's for dinner, eat, pick up guitar, read or netflix, sleep. Nothing enforced, free to deviate on a whim, specifics fluid, but most days will almost certainly fall into that sort of pattern. Active morning through midafternoon then tapering off.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

Reason N+3

Wednesday I had a midday appointment with my regular "family" doc for annual "well patient visit". It's unusual for me to have one of those midday on a work day. They did the standard weight measurement (sub 180 for the first time in ages, so yay on that) and BP. My BP was 159/94 (eek!). By contrast, today I was off work and had to go in for one of those unpleasant outpatient procedures they recommend periodically when you get north of 50. Before they knocked me out to assault me with their evil riff on Cartman's Probe they took my BP: 114/71. The time of day was pretty similar, with the main difference being Wednesday the reading was preceded by 5 or so hours at work on what felt like a relaxed, easy-going day.

RockyMtnLiving
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by RockyMtnLiving »

The aforementioned test is important, of course, and everybody should follow their physician's recommendations as to taking it. That disease is generally treatable if caught early; it isn't if it isn't. Early screening is critically important.

And thanks to anesthesia, I personally have no objection to the procedure. Chugging the Gatorade mixture the night before wasn't exactly pleasant, but all things considered -- particularly in light of the potential downside of not catching the disease early -- that also was no big deal.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

Unemployed.

Incident Status: RESOLVED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SnylcfPmKI

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Ego
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

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