A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Where are you and where are you going?
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jennypenny
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by jennypenny »

IlliniDave wrote:With 30 April as my first day of ER, I would expect to deplete 19.5% of my financial assets getting to my 70th birthday, compared to 22.7% at the end of March.
Are you expecting to collect SSI at 70? Will it cover your expenses completely? Are you expecting to receive the full amount SSA.gov projects, or only a percentage of it? If so, what percentage?

Sorry for the questions, but we're the same age and financial temperament, so I'm curious how you're approaching this part.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

jennypenny,

I don't mind the questions. If I didn't want to talk about it I wouldn't post about it. :)

Yes, my going in position is to defer SS until 70. That's what prompts my interest in my assets during the period up to that point, where if things go as expected, they'll have their biggest role.

SS won't completely cover my "planned" spending. It will probably completely cover what I call my "core" spending (food, utilities, heathcare premiums, transportation, basic home upkeep and maintenance, my essential comforts and an occasional small luxury). That would assume they eventually fix the shortfall currently anticipated. Sometimes, though, I'll run the numbers with 75% of my currently estimated benefit. I will also have the residual of a modest retirement annuity to bolster that, but there's no COLA associated with it so only time will tell how much that will help down the road. Even at 75% SS provides enough of a "floor" that it should keep me from having to live under a bridge even with minimum additional resources.

I recognize there is some uncertainty surrounding SS, which is why I want to ensure I will have a significant portion of my assets intact at that point. When I say "nominal" or "expected conditions" regarding my plan I'm referring to a set of assumptions that I feel are conservative but not outright pessimistic (~3.5% read investment return, 3% inflation, a spending profile pegged at the high side of the range I anticipate, and a reduced annuity).

If I play absolute worst-on-worst scenarios the plan implodes, but I have a small palette of adjustments I can make if the future excurs substantially into the lousy side of the continuum.

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jennypenny
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by jennypenny »

We always use 75% for our SSI estimates. Like you, we're aiming to have that money cover the base expenses. I'm not sure when we'll begin benefits. A lot has to do with medical issues and whether we'll be able to continue our medical insurance through DH's work after he retires (at present, they include medical insurance to age 65 with early retirement packages for the lifers).

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

I'd have to work to 60 to have the option to buy into my companies healthcare plan (and pay 100% of the cost myself). I've been pricing on the ACA exchanges and while it's not pretty, at least for now it is a place I know I can get insurance. If it is dismantled and the guaranteed coverage provision goes away, that could be a game-changer. I'm looking at $800-$1000/mo including net premium cost and assuming I hit the out of pocket max every year. Hopefully that will happen less often than it does, but the plan assumes it always happens. That compares to about $7,300 I'd max out at today. Healthcare inflation is not helpful either. It's what I see as the big risk area in terms of estimating future expenses, and the main reason I use a conservatively high spending rate in my plan.

I probably should use 75% for SS, but honestly I don't pay much attention to what happens after 70--in all my scenarios save the one I label "disaster" my assets tend to either flatten out or more commonly begin to grow again at a nice clip. Going between 100% and 75% doesn't seem to change the character of things a whole lot.

I do intend to make SS a year-by-year decision starting at age 62. If it begins to look like my longevity will be below average or my assets are taking a real beating I might file earlier. That would lower the monthly benefit below my desired floor, but still cover the at least a good majority of day-day living even at 75%. Shifting the filing time around seems to affect my terminal wealth a little and not much else under any other than really bad conditions. My decision to defer to 70 is mostly motivated by a desire to extract as much from my 401k as I can at 15% and lower tax rates, as well as a hedge against excessive longevity. According to the plan I'm supposed to die between 80 and 85, enough time for the deferral to 70 to about equal out.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

Survivor's Guilt

I learned someone close to me "attempted" suicide earlier this week. I used quotes because the attempt was I guess what you could call half-hearted and appeared to be more a gesture of profound frustration than a legitimate attempt to end life. However, it obviously represents a serious/worrisome situation. Three weeks ago, my primary coworker (I'm sort of his sidekick) lost a 26-year-old son to suicide after the young man couldn't cope with his wife having left him and taken their young daughter with her.

Counterbalancing that, tomorrow is Mother's day which my mom will be celebrating as, for now, a cancer survivor when, six months ago, it was all too easy to envision the day being much gloomier.

Through it all I skate in my beige little introvert's life, convincing myself that by piling up money and learning to live a little simpler I'm somehow doing something worthwhile. I don't know that there is really much else I can do aside from taking the path I feel I need to take. In that one limited realm I am pleased, but there's a lot of empty hovering beyond the perimeter.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

May 2016 Pseudo-Summary

In a few days I'll be leaving on the first leg of a journey that will take me ultimately up to the cabin, so I will be away when the time comes for a proper summary. Expenses for May should be higher than they've been running and will likely exceed my target average of $2,416/mo. I've already put $465ish into the cabin ordering a replacement refrigerator, and am on the hook for what I expect to be another several hundred in medical/mental health expenses for my youngest daughter. The latter should spread across May and June. The travel will bump up my expenses as well, but not a whole lot--I intend to keep things pretty simple. I'll probably incur another couple hundred doing work on the cabin once I'm there. Invested assets at this point are down slightly for the month I think, but still up for the quarter.

It looks like my visit to the Northwoods will be solo this time. Although my mom's in remission she's still not 100% recovered from the chemo, so it's not a good time for my dad to be away. My brother had to cancel as well. Not sure of the details but I think it comes down to his wife expecting him to act like an adult on a more consistent basis, most likely including in the realm of financial responsibility.

Part of me is disappointed they won't be coming, especially my dad. He'll turn 77 this summer and odds are before anyone would like we'll be having the last father-son adventure in the Northwoods. The three of us have talked loosely about trying to put something together in September as a rain date.

Another part of me is deeply looking forward to making it a solo venture. It will be my first chance to settle into the place with my full introverted nature unimpeded--a good audition for my ER lifestyle. I plan on canceling the boat rental and wilderness motor permits (will save some $) and instead alternate renting 2-3 models of solo watercraft and going on some non-motorized day trips into the wilderness area (which are free and not subject to quotas) to audition them. Models of the style/quality I'll want to eventually purchase run on the order of $2,000 or more new, and maybe half that used, so making a good choice is important. This will cut down on my fishing, but what fishing I will do will be more in line with how I will fish in my ER future. There are three lakes that are a single portage from the chain of lakes I "live" on which I think I can make a day trip out of with enough time on the destintion lake to fish, so I'll even get to explore some new water. Two of the lakes have brook trout, which I hope to add to my "life list" both in terms of catching and of eating.

I'll also probably spending at least a day viewing property. If I stick with my plan to work until age 55 I should have enough resources to buy a remote wooded property (<= 40 acres). The thought there is to add to my exploitable resources in the area in case I ever decide to reside up there full time. In the short run I'd probably maintain a primitive campsite on the property and have it serve as a getaway when hustle and bustle of the edge of the wilderness area get to be too much for me. There's a lof of facetiousness in that statement, but I do have neighbors there, and there are a handful of boats/canoes that pass in front of my cabin going in/out of the park most days. At the lake I have a high solitude quotient, but it's not really isolated. Later I might build a small off-the-grid cabin on the second property should I find one.

I might get to make a brief update of the ER numerology towards the end of next week.

IlliniDave
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Greetings from the North Country

Post by IlliniDave »

I spent the morning experimenting with solo canoeing and fishing from such a boat. It's been a challenge so far. The canoe I rented has a hull design suitable for a tandem but a seat position for a solo. Immediately after I picked it up I got blown halfway to Canada because the thing rode way to high to control in a strong wind. Since then I've been experimenting with adding weight to try and find the minimum I need to make the thing controllable (since it is dead weight I'd have to lug over portages, which generally sucks). It's supposed to be breezy and gusty this evening so it should be a good test for handling.

I'm on my bi-weekly trip into town, possibly meeting an acquaintance in the real estate business to schedule a day for viewing various tracts of wooded acreage in the area.

I've not had much success fishing, but the quiet and solitude has been first rate.

EMJ
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by EMJ »

Could you add some sort of water filled containers as dead weight?

DutchGirl
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by DutchGirl »

Augustus wrote:I recently found out a co-worker from a few years ago was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given 1 month to live. I sent him a message trying to lift his spirits, but with one month to live I wonder if he is more aggravated by polite messages than reassured.
I have heard that many people who suddenly are very ill find themselves with friends and colleagues who don't know what to say, and then say nothing. At least you did say something. I wouldn't expect anything in return from someone who is clearly in a terrible situation, but maybe you did give him a small smile.

I've seen something similar in my own life, where a co-worker died suddenly, and while everybody talked about it, and a year later everybody still talks about him and everybody still misses him as a colleague with a lot of knowledge and some wisdom, turns out I was the only one writing his widow at the first anniversary of his death. She wrote back that she really appreciated it.

Reaching out and showing you care is very likely to do good.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

Back to the Real World (Mostly)
Yesterday I drove from the edge of Minnesota back to Illinois. My heart always sinks a little when I get near Tomah, WI, because that's about where the character of the woodlands change (southward you notice the lessening and virtual disappearance of evergreens and paper birches). The trip served to reinforce the rightness of my plan at least for the foreseeable future. I spent much more time hiking and moving around by canoe than I did fishing this time. Canoeing solo is a bit different than with a partner, so there was a learning component. I also learned a little more about plumbing than I had intended (the type that involves small copper tube supply lines and compression fittings), so a bonus learning opportunity. I found a few potential berry picking spots via my on-foot adventures.

Happily I see that the financial markets were kind to me while I away. I always like to take it as a good sign when I am "rewarded" while not turning the crank and grinding out the sausage for my employer.

Aside from that, as I contemplate the drive down to the Southeast in a couple days, I have a distinctly deflated feeling.

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GandK
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by GandK »

That trip sounds blissful to me, Dave.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

Aching Viscera[/color]
GandK wrote:That trip sounds blissful to me, Dave.
It really was, in a deep way that I don't completely have my head around yet, although things grow clearer as more time passes. I wish I knew off the top of my head how to post photos so folks could see them here. This time I got one or two that to me seem to have captured the moment pretty well. They might not mean much to anyone else (no different than words in that sense), but images can be the more efficient of the two.

News from Back Home

My mother continues to do better while bouncing back from the chemo (it's all relative, of course, she'll likely never be her old self 100%). She has another scan this week so we are all lifting our thoughts in our own way in the hope the news continues to be good. We had a scare with my sister. In a follow-up scan they identified what appeared to be "lesions" on her spleen, but have subsequently decided they are not as worrisome as first thought (but to be sure she's headed up to University Of Wisconsin next week for a more detailed assessment).

ERE Notes

I won't bother to do a full summary for May this late, I'll just wait until June and do sort of a 2-month financial update. The dominant feature of the time period is the trip up to the North Country, and the costs of that were spread across both months. In May I exceeded both my monthly spending target for the year (not unexpected, and the target is an average for the full year anyway, not an ongoing cap) and my post-ER monthly spending target. The latter was not expected. I'd hoped to stay easily below that but some higher-than-expected auto maintenance costs combined with general sloppiness kicked me over the threshold. May spending was $3,427 (preliminary estimate) versus the targets of $2,416 (2016 goal) and $3,355 (ER bogey). My YTD monthly spending average through 5/31 is below $2,300; so at least through that date I'm meeting my yearly goal.

Otherwise, things are creeping along with all the excitement of watching grass grow. But even the boring grind appears apt to pay off eventually. It's nearly time to think about going through my junk drawer to dig out a second comma--it may not be too much longer before one is required should I decide to write down my standard-definition net worth. To me, the standard net worth number is a neat curio but not a particularly valuable (IMO, it overstates one's situation, sometimes substantially). Nevertheless, it will mark an "achievement" of sorts that in 2008 I would have sworn I'd never reach without working to or beyond full retirement age (i.e., 15 or more years down the road until age 67+).

Inner Journey

Partway through my recent trip I was standing at the foot of a beaver dam I'd come across unexpectedly while hiking. It was an interesting perspective because the dam was built at the outlet of a small lake where the flow trickled down several feet below the base of the dam before making it's way on to the next lake (if the flow were greater I'd describe it as a small waterfall). With the height of the dam and the slope I stood several feet below the lake level. The resident beaver was agitated by my presence, although it did not sound the tail slap alarm. Instead it swam around and sort of chuffed/grunted at me. I watched it for a few minutes until I noticed I'd become absorbed by the beaver's behavior and let myself be turned into an all-you-can-eat buffet for an impressive cloud of mosquitoes, then I moved on.

As I was walking it occurred to me that what I like to call mindfulness is my default outlook while up there, and it takes effort to pull my awareness out of my surroundings back into the mundane world of "thinking". Once I made it back to Illinois, and more so when I finally drove back to the Southeast, it is mindfulness that I struggle to cultivate. The be-er takes a back seat to the thinker. I wonder if I'll ever be able to reverse that. Or worse yet, whether the thinker will someday cast the be-er out of the Northwoods. I think the latter will in many ways be the great battle of most of the rest of my life. If the thinker conquers the north, it's likely that it would take some convoluted reasoning for me to claim that ER was a success.

I always have a reluctance to return to work after time away. In the past it has usually been just a token feeling, perhaps more a result of social expectations than of true aversion. This time it's quite deep and visceral. The word "dread" would be an exaggeration,yet would fall short of hyperbole. In about 3 hours I have to go pick up my dog and once I have her home and settled, it's back to turning the crank and grinding the sausage. I wonder whether continuing that process is really the thing I should be doing right now. Ironically even the thinker wonders that, not just the subjugated be-er. I've never really had any serious doubts in the past that working was/is the prudent thing to do for the present time. Prior to the last several days my "serious" considerations have not been about if I should keep going, rather about how long I should keep going. It's not an exploding thunderhead epiphany, but something in the substructure has shifted. It will be interesting to see how I hold up after a day or two back in the fray.

And for those keeping score if you happen to be reading (you know who you are since I am about to use the image you coined) the golden-haired blueberry girl has yet to overtly appear. The lines are holding in the other great battle of the rest of my life! :)

Gilberto de Piento
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by Gilberto de Piento »

I wish I knew off the top of my head how to post photos so folks could see them here.
1. Create an account at a photo host like imgur or photobucket. If you want to be anonymous use an anonymous name like IlliniDave and don't use the account for hosting pictures other than what you want to post here.
2. Upload to the account the photos you want to share.
3. Select a pic and copy the link code marked BBCode (message boards & forums). It should start with [img]and%20end%20with[/img]
4. Paste the link code into your ERE post.

Good to hear your family is doing better.

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

Ha, so I did it. Here's a picture of a sunrise from my place on a very cold morning. I'm standing at the lakeshore and looking close to due north. The misty island is one of the borders of the BWCA, as is the shore across the lake (90 degrees CCW from this view).

(Link Removed after Photobucket blocked it)

Most of my pics are too large to imbed and I'm too lazy to resize them all right now. So temporarily I've made the entire collection "public" and the morbidly curious can start here

http://s61.photobucket.com/user/IlliniDave/profile

and scroll through.

Edit to add: Special thanks to Gilberto de Piento, and to correct the link
Last edited by IlliniDave on Sun Sep 03, 2017 7:15 am, edited 2 times in total.

EdithKeeler
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by EdithKeeler »

Gorgeous!!!

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jennypenny
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by jennypenny »

I agree. It looks beautiful!

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

my link above didn't work like I thought. Maybe this one will be better to see the other ones ...

http://s61.photobucket.com/user/IlliniDave/profile

7Wannabe5
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Pink Lady's Slipper!!!

IlliniDave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by IlliniDave »

7Wannabe5 wrote:Pink Lady's Slipper!!!
Yep. That was on a 40-acre property I was viewing that an acquaintance up there is thinking about selling. I was scouting/documenting blueberry habitat and those pink weeds were sprouting up everywhere the poor blueberries tried to grow! In the picture the orchids are surrounded by wild blueberry "bushes" on all sides.

Apparently the appearance of the lady slippers every year is somewhat of an event, as I heard it mentioned several times on the radio with reports on which of the local hiking trails were providing viewing opportunities.

The property has both high and low ground, the picture taken on high ground. The lowlands/wetlands/bogs around there produce some other floral oddities. I didn't explore the low portion of the property, so dunno if the low ground on that particular parcel has anything interesting or not.

Dave
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Re: A Journey of Mindfulness--the Remaking of Life in Midstream.

Post by Dave »

Beautiful pictures, ID!

I was glad to read your family is doing better, too. I hope that continues.

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