The Reluctant Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
2Birds1Stone
Posts: 590
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:20 am

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 2Birds1Stone » Sun Dec 02, 2018 7:29 am

Congratulations, that sounds like a wonderful arrangement.

Many of the posts I've read on other FI forums/blogs indicate that most people don't actually pursue many of the activities they previously saw themselves focusing on once they were retired/semi-retired. I'm curious to see if that is your experience as well.

One blog that comes to mind is livingaFI

suomalainen
Posts: 647
Joined: Sat Oct 18, 2014 12:49 pm

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by suomalainen » Sun Dec 02, 2018 3:02 pm

@2B1S great reference. I read this: https://livingafi.com/2016/02/24/defini ... t-purpose/, which addressed an aspect of FI that I'm currently sensing is the more/most important aspect, as opposed to not having to work or not having to worry about money:

In your current state, as a twenty or thirty or forty something professional, you’re not always happy, but neither are you unhappy. And you’ve internalized the profound benefits that this situation has on your life; you feel safe and secure. So what if you’re bored or frustrated a great deal of the time?

You’re not alone. This is the typical progression for white collar workers. I’m not guessing here. I recently finished reading Stud’s Terkel’s Working, in which the author interviews dozens of people with all sorts of different professions. These themes are depressingly common. Very few people are called into a profession. Most of us stumble into one and find we can manage all right, and goddamn, we need the money, so we trade our time for temporary financial stability, paycheck after paycheck, despite a growing sense of malaise that’s hard to pinpoint as the years pass.

Because you know that things weren’t always like this in your life. Back in school, your schedule changed every four months. You had different courses. Different teachers, different classmates. You were constantly meeting new people and being asked to perform in different ways.

I remember the feeling of excitement that filled me every time I collected supplies for the new sessions. I’d walk around the bookstore and find the required texts for my classes, wondering all the while. Wondering if I was prepared enough, if I’d enjoy the coursework, what the professor would be like. Wondering if I’d already know someone or would need to put myself out there and make some new friends.

This excitement virtually disappeared after a few years in my field. The first four or five years, absolutely, I occasionally became tweaked and ‘into’ some new technology — single sign on infrastructure solutions and performance profiling agents and RESTful APIs.

But within a few short years, I found it all tedious. The majority of so-called new technologies are actually a rehash or repackaging of older stuff. Yes, including the mystical cloud, which is, in reality, Just Another Datacenter. Sorry. These things are definitely not new.

Now that I’ve fixed the so-called money problem in my life, though, by becoming FI, I can return to that state of flexibility and creativity, if I so choose. (This is one of the main reasons people want to achieve FI, actually — it isn’t that they hate their jobs. They just can’t see doing the same thing for the rest of their lives.)

7Wannabe5
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Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Sun Dec 02, 2018 4:10 pm

Sounds like great fun!

1taskaday
Posts: 383
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Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Tue Jan 01, 2019 11:40 am

Sitting outside with hood up and blanket over lap to keep warm.

Blue sky and sunny but only about 10 degrees now as Sun will be setting soon.

At foreign property with kids and DH for a week.

I love sitting outside even if have to get muffled up to keep warm while sitting and typing.

The guaranteed dry weather here with lovely sunny days make it so easy to plan outdoor events.

All going well so far with loads of trips,eating out and shopping for the teens...just the type of holiday they love.

I really don't care anymore as long as my reduced earnings on a 2 day week cover my expenditure.

This is my decade to "live and enjoy" all life has to offer without saving or paying down any debt.

What is the point in all the delaying of gratification if there never comes a time to just relax and enjoy all the fruits of my labour?

As long as my expenditure stays even with my earnings and I am content to stay working 2 days a week... life is good.

1taskaday
Posts: 383
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:45 am
Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Fri Jan 11, 2019 8:55 am

Working every day the rest of January since our week abroad..making up for my loss of discipline in taking loads of annual leave days when there was no sight of the job-sharing coming. I owe lots of days that I am not entitled to now as I am reduced to half the annual leave.

It really sucks but will be worth it to start with a blank slate again not owing any time back.

I want to have my full allowance of annual leave(job-sharers allowance) to plan my trips when the new annual leave year starts.

No clue yet what my exact wages will be...but from my 88 weeks recording of my spending all should be fine.

I have absolutely no problem cutting back on any spending if it's necessary...I know I have upped my spending recently and could easily cut it back again.

In fact I would view this as a fun challenge...a bit of hardship like sleeping overnight on a chair at an airport or not having a car and cycling everywhere would not be the slightest problem to me with the luxury of loads of free time.

I have done all these things before and got a strange sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that I could do them easily enough.

Anyway it probably won't come to that...but it's nice to know that I can do whatever is necessary to give me freedom.

Had a huge fight with car rental company when they charged our credit card for damage to the car we didn't cause.

Eventually they backed down as my DD had taken timed and dated photos of the car before we left the rental car park.

Only for that we would have been totally ripped off.

Considering getting a smart phone for this reason and for Google maps...but my resistance is huge...love my old style Nokia type phone...carry it and show it around as a badge of honour.

But the thought of having to carry a camera to take photos of rental cars before I drive them sucks.

I know that I am taking a huge risk by not getting their really expensive insurance but I have the annual insurance cover to drive rental cars which is for nothing compared to car rental companies rip off insurance. The hassle would be making a claim from them...but I suppose I'd cross that bridge if I had to.

Cheepnis
Posts: 88
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2018 11:52 am

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by Cheepnis » Fri Jan 11, 2019 12:54 pm

It sounds like your have yourself a sweet deal! I only read the last couple pages of this journal, but I'm very excited and inspired by you reaching your goal. The future seems so far away, but I know I'll be in a place similar too where you are if I just keep at it!

Looking forward to seeing how your year plays out.

1taskaday
Posts: 383
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:45 am
Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:33 am

Hi Cheepnis , I think the secret is "it's a marathon not a sprint".

So I worked back the hours I owed like a maniac and started job sharing last week.
So one week down and the rest of my working life to go...

So what's it like to work 2 days a week?

Well the annoying thing about it is the 5 days I am off just fly by and before I know it I am preparing to go back again.

I just wish I never had to go back...perhaps I'll settle in to a routine in a few months and not mind as much.

Bottom line is I can't afford to retire so this will have to do.

How am I spending all my extra time...just living... doing ordinary things with probably more time spent with family,more meditation without falling asleep during it,and just living at a more relaxed pace.

Nothing extraordinary and no travel yet.

1taskaday
Posts: 383
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Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Fri Feb 01, 2019 12:25 pm

So second week of job-sharing completed.

Thoughts on it all...it seems to take me a day to decompress after my 2 days of work which is disappointing.

When I job-shared before this was always the case. It used to take a day to get my mind calm after working in that s***hole.

My workplace now is nice with none of the toxic crap going on that was in my old workplace but it still takes that day to unwind and forget about work.

Must come up with a more efficient way of dealing with this issue...otherwise it is a waste of a day being creative and energetic.

Still won’t know for a few weeks what my actual job-sharing wage will be as I have back payments due for a few pay days yet.

Financially I am not spending anything over what I used to spend while working full-time which was nothing much either as I used to cook my own lunch, had a very short commute and could wear jeans and t shirt every day to work.

My DS crashed out of college only after 1 semester...never went to any lecture, partied all the time and failed all first term exams.

The joys of parenthood...

So I have finally accepted that my millennials are no different from the rest (even though I tried to raise them to be self sufficient) I think the latest research on them says that they often live at home until age 34...only 16 years more to go with him then.

I am so glad I am the type that just goes ahead with her own plans despite the dramas that surround me.

I suppose bottom line is there is an easy road and a hard road to get where one wants to go...if one needs to take the hard one to learn what is easier...so be it.

I have my first week of solo travel coming up in 2 weeks...very excited about it.

Depending on how it goes I will start booking more after this.

With the weather the way it is now I am probably as well to bide my time until it improves all over Europe unless I was planning a southern hemisphere trip.

My DH is going on a training course and conference on his passion/side income/hobby in March and will be tied up all February preparing for these events.

This really suits me...as with 2 kids back living at home somebody needs to be there to drive them either to work or school.

Bummer but that’s the reality of family life.

7Wannabe5
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Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 12:34 pm

I have had the same experience of needing day to unwind/reboot after just working two days. So, I was trying to recollect exception to the rule. I think one thing that has worked for me is treating evening of second day as if it is Friday Night. Going out and doing something and staying out later than your usual bedtime (10 PM is a VERY late night for me :lol: ) will somehow put more week in your week, even if you still end up doing odds and ends type tasks the following day.

1taskaday
Posts: 383
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:45 am
Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Fri Feb 01, 2019 12:43 pm

Sounds like a tip I might try out.

I was thinking on that line for the next morning,getting up and out into something completely different but the night before might work quicker.

7Wannabe5
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Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Fri Feb 01, 2019 1:07 pm

It's also the case that it is harder to find other people to play with on a Wednesday morning vs. a Tuesday night. For example, I could teach all day Tuesday, take a brief nap, then go to fun water aerobics class, and then go out on a date. So, when I woke up on Wednesday, I would be in the right mode to go out and work on my garden, after maybe just doing a bit of personal paperwork. Maybe because I am right on the cusp of introvert/extrovert, I seek balance between 4 quadrants of work/play and solo/social.

1taskaday
Posts: 383
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Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:47 pm

Returning back to civilization...don't want to...all for 1 day at work for this week.

The weather was amazing for February...around 25 Celsius most days with cool evenings,my favourite type of weather.

I know it was a fluke and could have been cool and cloudy for the week just as easily but it wasn't.
This trip has opened all the yearning to spend 6 months of winter/spring abroad again every year...why be miserable indoor in darkness when I could be outdoors in the sun every day?

I got a great tan, did loads of yoga and ran every evening.
I ate really healthy and slept till about eleven every morning.
It was like going to an expensive health retreat for a week.

I also spoke to nobody for the whole week except the man that maintains the pool for about 5 mins all the while giving him the vibes that he was impinging on my precious holiday time...I know, as my mother says I will eventually die alone with nothing but cats to keep me company...I can't bear cats,no offence to cat lovers but they give me the creeps.

The whole trip including rental car,flights etc cost me 220 Euro...because I decided to eat luxuriously.

It has made me value the choices that I made in the past so much more that allows me to live the way that I can now.

DH's busiest time in his side income/hobby is the winter so wintering out there is not going to happen anytime soon.
Also he hates where our property is as it's so quiet and anti social,(my heaven).

Maybe we should sell it ...no point buying in another area as I just can't see him using it as he can't bear to be doing nothing.

A bit of a conundrum for me as if I mention we should sell up he would be on it like a flash and then I might miss having it.

I don't really need a house as I would stay any where but if it's in my perfect location and he isn't going to spend much time abroad any way...why not keep one of us happy?

7Wannabe5
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Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Tue Feb 26, 2019 8:02 am

I got a great tan, did loads of yoga and ran every evening.
I ate really healthy and slept till about eleven every morning.
It was like going to an expensive health retreat for a week.

I also spoke to nobody for the whole week except the man that maintains the pool for about 5 mins all the while giving him the vibes that he was impinging on my precious holiday time...
This needs a rewrite. Please delete the section I italicized, and do better. My preference would be for a detailed description of the part after you ask him for some help applying your coconut oil.

I know. I know. You have a husband. Please feel free to write him into the scene too.

Earlybath
Posts: 33
Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2016 8:43 am

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by Earlybath » Wed Feb 27, 2019 2:50 am

1taskaday wrote:
Mon Feb 25, 2019 12:47 pm
I can't bear cats
Yep anti-social little buggers just want to lay in the sun all day, everyone else can sod off...

1taskaday
Posts: 383
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Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Wed Feb 27, 2019 1:49 pm

Well spotted...a touch of psychological projection...Know Thyself...

1taskaday
Posts: 383
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Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Fri Mar 08, 2019 2:52 pm

Got runner's knee...the other knee also acting up to a lesser extent ...self diagnosing it as over pronation of feet while running in cheap running shoes.

Numbed myself at work over final 5 months just to run every lunch while all leg muscles very tight.Ignored calf cramps etc just kept running at lunch or would have gone insane.
Well paying for that neglect now...

So started back on oral magnesium (which seemingly all paleos should be on),bathing feet in magnesium,foam rolling,stretching,compression knee support and also taking omega 3 ,vitamin C and B5.
Oh yea and no running or walking which completely sucks.

Also ordered stability walking shoes and runners.

The whole thing has cost me 400 which includes a year supply of the vitamins.
I suppose if I went to doctor or sports physiotherapist it would have cost more for basically the same results.

The dilemma is when wearing the stability shoes for support my foot muscles will atrophy which will make the problem worse...but I need to start running soon so I will wear them for short periods while exercising and build up foot muscles separately.

I would love to find a foot chiropractor that could just crack all my foot bones back into place...leaving me perfect feet...but haven't been able to locate one yet.

Anyway my knees are definitely getting better and just waiting for runners to arrive to see if I can run again.

All of this research has gotten me so excited about the topic of "ageing well" that now that I have loads of time I will put a lot more well-being strategies into place.
After all that was the priority ....to get more free time so that I could be in peak condition both mentally and physically.

10 more days to next solo trip to sunshine ...but who's counting...the plan is to do loads of outdoor exercise when out there and get back into good shape again.

Also learning Spanish...but this has taken a back seat until I heal my knees...have to keep the brain muscle working as well...no point having a healthy body if my brain has gone to mush.

Also speed read Marie Kondo's tidying book...got some ideas but am only taking baby steps in this area as of yet.
We have to sell property/properties but have no idea yet what we're at...I think we need a new 5 year plan...or something like that...

1taskaday
Posts: 383
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Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Sat Mar 09, 2019 3:56 am

So the boring old financials ...

I now work 2 days a week and am down 35% of my basic pay and down 44% of my pay if overtime,and tax relief are included.

Is it worth this loss ... absolutely,it is priceless.

A simple example is the time I am putting into healing my knees...I would never have been able to research what needed to be done not to mind then doing it if working full-time.

Time is a luxury that makes up hundreds of times over for any loss of money and I hope I always appreciate this fact.

All of the sacrifices that I made to get here have been totally worth it even screwing up my knees because I was too mean to buy expensive runners.

Everything had been towards the goal of freedom and I plan to relish every moment of it.
Life now is an adventure every day (non work days) I get up...what will I do to day,what topic can I research.

Even with the family commitments (elderly parents and teens) that I have there still is enough free time for me...a total luxury for any 50 year old female to have.

The fact that I can get away to travel one week out of every four keeps me from getting into a rut and motivates me to be organised and "some what " efficient.

Work is OK so far as I had already completed much of my tasks before I job shared...long term the jury is out on this in the sense of...will 2 days be sufficient time to keep everything ticking over at work? ... I am optimistic but will have to wait and see.

So bottom line freedom is priceless.

1taskaday
Posts: 383
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:45 am
Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:57 am

From my research whilst trying to heal my knees a few jaw dropping revelations:
Due to oestrogen levels dropping in females in midlife we are the most common group with Plantar fasciitis and joint injury and pain.

What a load of crap this is...
Why don't we know to expect this stuff...why doesn't anybody warn us.

This throws all my theories on minimum support footwear out the window...as in midlife females need all the footwear cushioning that they can get.

Hormones are the most powerful chemicals in the body full stop...trying to fight their effects or lack of effects is futile.

So the good from this is that I didn't screw up my knees by solely wearing inadequate footwear ...if I had known at age 50 I needed to switch to "granny" comfort footwear to support and protect my joints while running I would have done it.

So I am about 2 months working a 2 day week now,so what have I learned:

1.It is totally worth all the scrounging,slaving and sacrificing that I did to get here.

2.Vital to keep same systems in place domestically when I had no time as to now when I have loads of time.Being a domestic goddess never was one of my goals and certainly isn't now.An example of this is to maintain grocery delivery system(costs 10 a month for as many deliveries as you want).Keep food menu the same -only cook same fast simple food...no adventurous cooking unless cooking interests you...food bores me but health is very important so hence very simple fast system of home cooking in place.
If foodies get bored show them where the kitchen and cooking utensils are...

3.This one is vital particularly when partner runs hobby/side business from home.
Suddenly you are around now a lot of the time to do boring time consuming paperwork and administrative jobs...not happening from the beginning.
Explain gently but firmly everybody has choices in life...if one person choses to lie sunning their butt all day and has earned the money to allow this to happen then so be it,smart old them...if another wants to run a side business on call 14 hours a day by phone,having lists of items they have to get through then so be it... not very smart old them.
It's all about choices...

4.A continuation of no.3 it is vital to have a space of ones own where one can close a door.This can not be a communal area as everyone thinks they can interrupt you...because "sure your only reading a book and this is urgent"...not happening from the beginning...get a place with a door and count imaginary sheep running across the ceiling if that makes you happy.Remember your time your choice.

5.The last thing that I have learned so far is just because you now have loads of free time and don't need to be rushing and avoiding "time waster people types"...nobody ever really changes.You might have deluded yourself that the only reason that you didn't have a social life was because you had no time while working full-time...not so,if your an introvert your an introvert and people will always suck your energy.

Well that's what I've learned after just 2 months...I suppose if I'm being honest I knew them already and hit the ground running...laying my boundaries that I earned the right to set in place for myself from the very beginning.😉

7Wannabe5
Posts: 4745
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Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Fri Mar 15, 2019 8:17 am

Cosign on the midlife hormones suck. The joint injury reality also applies to those of us who don't run, but do hike about while hauling back-packs and holiday hams of flesh slung below waist. Estrogen dominant style peri-menopause will also make you anemic and even more fuzz-brained than usual. I am just hoping it will all be over soon.


Also agree that need for all kinds of boundaries is key. I am not very good at this, so often just resort to hiding out in 3rd Place; such as cafe. Unfortunately, I have also found it to be true that many or most people don't care about financial or work equity justifications for "doing your own thing." Either you are acting like part of the team or giving them the attention they crave or you are not.

prognastat
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Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by prognastat » Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:17 am

Congrats on the shift and that sounds like some sound advice. You definitely didn't work so hard to earn your free time just to have other people suck it up like it was free.

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