The Reluctant Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
1taskaday
Posts: 342
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:45 am
Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Mon Sep 11, 2017 3:26 am

So it looks like the half time/job sharing will pan out after all.Who knew?

I had given up and accepted that I would have to retire fully in 2018...even though financially it would be insecure.

So typically when you let go of something that you want (without any anger or bitterness) it will pop right in.

I'm just going to keep gathering up as much cash as I can as an emergency/lump fund until it happens.So much for saving my 3,000 per month that I am now able to save ...this will reduce down to 800 maximum when job sharing.

But on the plus side I will only be working maximum 12 to 14 days a month with an income that will maintain my present quality of life ... basically I will have loads more time to take trips with enough money to do it.

The best of every world I think.

As I said I had resigned myself to working full-time for now and so immersed myself totally in a new fitness routine.
I am trying to do more kettle bell routines than aerobics and yoga this time.
I did the 5:2 fast diet for 2 weeks to rid myself of stomach fat that I had gained during the summer.
I only did it for 2 weeks as I don't want to get too skinny and scrawny...this always shows in the face especially in middle age.

So I will persist with the kettle bells to build up muscle and eat normally with no junk.

The caring for an elderly parent is continuing during weekends so time is precious...the life cycle of a typical female...being trapped with kids for fifteen years then the elderly parents kick in....really all these travel plans I have ... are they just pipe dreams...

7Wannabe5
Posts: 2917
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:03 am

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Thu Sep 14, 2017 6:50 am

@Hear you on the "life cycle of typical female." Seems like I am constantly juggling a mixed basket full of limiting factors to "just doing what I want to do", but I have to wonder if it is mostly me getting in the way of myself. For instance, how did I end up cooking blueberry pancakes for my BF this morning before he went off to work? How did I even end up with another BF? All I can see are 3 options:

1) Complete social isolation
2) Avoidance of domestic responsibilities through clear commitments to paid work or some deceit (For instance, "I am writing a novel.")
3) Acceptance that if you do not choose, or succeed at (1) or (2) "woman's work" will be dumped in your lap, so make it part of your "retirement" plan to make sure you at least get "paid" for it.

For the time being, I am choosing (3), but I have also recently added a large cache of books (memoirs and how-to)on the topic of women traveling solo to my active stack. Please let me know if you come up with a (4.)

1taskaday
Posts: 342
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:45 am
Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Fri Sep 15, 2017 1:51 pm

Mmmmmmmmm...the hundred million dollar question for most females, How to avoid spending most free time on domestic or caring duties?...especially if the amount of free time expands.

My strategy is/will be to keep on the move...

Remember the old saying,"A rolling stone gathers no moss",.... a person constantly on the move (from country to country or house to house) can never really be pinned down or counted on.

I want to be this person...travelling light with no baggage.

Constantly on the move with a large amount of deceit about plans,commitments etc could work.

It will be extremely tricky and take a lot of strategy (an INTJ strength) but I think it could work.

Naturally being FI will be a major part of the plan,enough money to do what you want without being answerable to anyone (including spouse).

Will it be lonely?...quite possibly but every gain (as in freedom) has a price...you just have to figure out what is the thing you want most in life (and be willing to pay the cost) - life is so short ... and even us females should get to put our "wants" to the top of the list at some stage.

1taskaday
Posts: 342
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:45 am
Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Tue Oct 10, 2017 4:06 pm

An update is probably overdue...
Nothing very exciting happening.

Work is dragging on...

Have finally started a meditation/mindfulness course.
Only 2 weeks in but can meditate for 45 mins now without needing to stop and get up.
I say meditation but really it's my mind drifting off in to such urgent crap and to do lists that when I bring it back to breathing I can't even remember "all of this urgent/must do stuff".
Imagine our mind is full of unimportant rubbish that's draining our energy and preventing clarity most of the time.
I know I'm only at the beginning of a very long journey but from the bit of relief and clarity that I've achieved so far I intend to keep at it.

Still waiting for my halftime work.I think it will begin in January.I am really looking forward to it as more time off will be amazing.

By the time I get all my exercise,meditation etc done every day it could take up to 3 hours,who has time to work?

Still keeping track of every penny that I spend which is always below what my job sharing pay will be with a pretty good quality of life.

No foreign trips due to parental health issues and weekend trips to do my share.

As I have very little annual leave left I really couldn't go anyway,roll on job sharing with loads of free time for travelling.

So nothing very exciting happening except my meditation course,just looking forward to more time off.

Patience,patience, and more patience ....

Felipe
Posts: 414
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:06 pm

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by Felipe » Fri Oct 13, 2017 5:05 am

Congrats on meditating. It is a great help to be present during times of stress.

I'm curious,why do you think deceit and constant moving is essential to feel free? Constant moving (more than monthly) is stressful, even with just 1 carry on. Deceit brings its own baggage as you have to keep track of all lies and lose social capital when caught.

1taskaday
Posts: 342
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 11:45 am
Location: England

Re: The Reluctant Journal

Post by 1taskaday » Fri Oct 13, 2017 4:17 pm

I hate routine and love constant movement/travel...it is only when losing your energy to work that energy levels are too depleted to put into the organization and execution of travel.

I have worked hard to have no "social capital" as you put it. Zero expectations from others is a great way to live. It sounds sad but is quite an achievement for middle aged female to achieve.

I use deceit because I feel guilty about the free pleasurable life I lead. Pretty dumb I know as I have worked by butt of for it BUT it allows me to escape scrutiny or people wanting to tag along.

Maybe some day I'll be brave enough to live my life openly but I think it's easier to live under the covers non conspicuously.

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