The Reluctant Journal

[1taskaday]

How about "She must be socially inept" because she prefers to lie in the sun all day rather than entertain her family or in laws in her "holiday home".

[7Wannabe5]

That sounds more like “inert” than “inept.”
You might try focusing your hostess skills on encouraging others to drink so much they don’t notice what you are doing. When guests arrive, don’t even inquire about their preferences, simply assume they are like characters in a Fitzgerald novel who are accustomed to being handed a drink immediately. You could even keep a small floating bar by you in the pool.

This idea occurred to me because pot was just made legal in Michigan and almost everybody of all ages except me was stoned at several gatherings I attended. So nobody noticed or cared if I just sat there and read a book on my phone.

[1taskaday]

That all sounds "terribly romantic" and even dreamy ...

But as I observed at quite a young age the advantages to a female of never learning any "hostess" skills I think I'll just lie in the sun...

[1taskaday]

Where I'm at right now...

When winter came my DH and I took trips to holiday home destination...but as my DH hated this area we rented in a "golfer's paradise bubble destination" with a wealthy ex pat community.

The first week we stayed there it was all "shiny and new" and I thought maybe he was right and we should have a place in a "bubble" and enjoy all the luxurious amenities.

The next time we rented there was deserted as most of the wealthy ex pat's had gone home for Christmas...it was deserted.
So there we were in "paradise" enjoying all amenities basically on our own.
There was no "life" or energy to the place...it was full of millionaire mansions all locked up and empty.
Beautiful wide roads with cycling paths...but nobody on them.
Huge gyms,pools,spas all deserted with only a few cafés and empty bars open...it gave me the creeps.
It might have been paradise, but it was so lifeless that it was just a sad place.

This was a huge eye opener to my DH as he even reluctantly admitted that there was something missing...even though we were in a golfers paradise.

So long story short he bought back his half of our holiday home (as why should he be able to come and go as he pleases without owning half of it).

So "we"have decided not to rent it out anymore and use it ourselves (Big sigh and relief from me).
I made him get a fold up bike and he is finally beginning to see the benefits of the property being "within" a normal local environment.
It has a soul and energy as opposed to living in an artificial "paradise bubble" environment.
It is noisy and messy and alive with all different generations living around us.
He has started painting and decorating it and as always, as long as he is "doing"instead of "being",he is happy (the complete opposite to me...I could "be" all day as long as the sun is shining down on me).

He still says he will never live out there full time but if we wintered there then that would be enough for me.
Phew...11 years after buying the place and me fighting tooth and nail to keep it (as I love it there) he has finally come round.

I just have to keep him doing work and maintenance on it and then he will be content to be there.

This is a bit annoying as I don't really like spending money on upgrading houses but it's the price I am prepared to pay to keep him busy and content while staying there.

As I've also got my 50,000 euro back from him buying back his half of the property...I'm willing to humour his tastes for an aesthetically pleasing looking environment.
We also found a local community gym...that refuses to let us pay for using it for short periods...which he loves.
Again it is full of life and energy with all different age groups... different from the muted half empty designer gym in "paradise".

So this is all great as we've booked to go out to "our" holiday home a week in February and March and 2 weeks in April.
We are also doing 10 days of Northern Camino in May.

By then winter and the darkness will be gone and I'll be happy to stay at home until September again.

I really feel so much more alive and energetic in a bright sunny climate, it's amazing the difference it makes to my mental and physical well being.

I'm still job sharing and this pays me about 45,000 gross annually...not a sum to be sniffed at as I would only get about 15,000 annually in my pension if I retired now.

We are still undecided about where we are going to live and need to sell a property.
We are going to live in the coastal one over the summer and see what it's like. If we decided we could live here then we could sell where we live now and I could retire.

To be honest I'm not in any rush as working 2 days a week is not a great burden unless it starts interfering with my travel plans or long stays next winter in the foreign holiday home.

So some progress made buts lots more decisions to be made to make us more streamlined and have less baggage.

[1taskaday]

Finally got my act together to combat aging and pains due to muscle atrophy.

Since my knees gave me trouble from running my confidence in my physicality has been low...kind of the first time I acknowledged to myself I am getting old and just like every other mere mortal my body is weakening.

My DH has been doing 3 sessions of weights weekly for the last 7 months and has been on my case to start.

He used to have a different joint pain weekly before this... numerous scans never finding anything...I dreaded having to listen to him moaning when he got older...now not a moan,pain or ache...

He has completely changed his physique...and energy levels.

I had right lower back/hip pain after Christmas...for no other reason than sagging muscles putting strain on joints ...this finally jolted me into reality...it really is a case of "use it or lose it" when older.

What's the point in ER if your not physically able to do all the things that you want to?

So committed to doing 3 sessions of weights per week until 10th April...back/hip pain has magically disappeared after only 2 weeks...

Nothing I didn't know...but like everything it's the starting that's the difficult bit...when into it it's just routine.

[Earlybath]

IIRC were you not hitting the kettlebells at some point ? Did you stop or find them ineffective ?

[1taskaday]

I used to do an excellent half hour routine with them... excellent because no matter how long I was doing it I was always sore the next day.

When my knees acted up I stopped.

Seemingly that's the norm... injuries in middle age causes a cessation of excercise which in turn causes atrophy of muscles...and down that slippery slope.

The routine I do now has reps of a16kg kettle bell swing ...amazing!

[1taskaday]

Today I did 15 pushups without stopping...amazing as my most was 6 before I started the weights.

I am only doing them 4 weeks *3 a week.
I already feel like I have an outer growth of muscle on my arms.

Excited to see results after 12 weeks...

[7Wannabe5]

I need to start a new program to combat likely stress from new job. My plan is to go directly from work to either swimming pool or something like hot yoga.

[1taskaday]

Again will be interested to see if you follow through on this.
It is a great idea to go straight from work.

The 2 days I work I just slump on the sofa in front of the TV in the evenings... shattered.

I think I've gone soft and now even resent the 2 days "in prison" with no autonomy over my time.

Best of luck

[1taskaday]

So the world has changed utterly...

I feel so anxious and there really isn't much I can do about it.
I am so worried about my elderly parents dying from Covid 19.
At age 89 and 88 if they catch it at the peak and get very sick...then seemingly if hard decisions need to be made...as to who gets the limited resources...they will be left die.

That sucks...

We are taking all relevant precautions but I'm not optimistic.

Besides that I ended up in hospital after I went out for a cycle.
Just woke up with no memory of what happened or how I got there. A woman in a passing car phoned an ambulance as she found me unconscious on the road???

The road burns are finally healed but I'm still missing my 3 front teeth and have scarring on my face from the stitches I got.

I feel so lucky that I have no brain damage even though my eyesight is still not fully back to normal.

When I get my teeth implants in I will feel much better.
I will probably never remember how it happened...so weird.

But I did my weights work out today...missed out 2 weeks because of the accident...so my new target date is April 27th to complete my 12 week goal.

Financially it's all going to be very expensive But I'm so grateful to be OK.

[sky]

I am so sorry to hear this and wish you a speedy recovery.

[C40]

Dang. Sounds like a really tough time. I think a lot of folks could have a rough time this year.

I'm also in the club of "fell off a bicycle onto my face and was unconscious". Definitely not a fun time..

[Earlybath]

Ouch, Glad you’re Ok and not letting a random accident hold you back.

[1taskaday]

Thanks everyone but as I kept saying to everyone who was horrified looking at my bloodied face "No pity parties"!

I feel so lucky...the only thing I have to do is replace my front teeth...then I'm going to pretend it never happened.

Funny C40 you should mention you had a similar bicycle accident...if I had a dollar for everyone I met since mine telling me about their one or someone close to them having one...I could pay for my 3 front teeth with none of my own money!

Why didn't I hear any of these stories previously??? ... probably did and they were in one ear and out the other ... as things like that NEVER happened to me!

[jacob]

Ugh, fun stuff! Sucks with the teeth.

I had my face saved by a helmet once. Was going downhill when a kid on the sidewalk sees another kid on the other sidewalk and steps out on the road right in front of me without looking. He manages to stop the bike flat with his forehead contacting the handlebars sitting right down, while I manage to fly face first over him (and the handlebars), landing I dunno how far forward managing to roll forward I dunno how many turns. The kid was pretty bruised on the forehead (right above the eyes---good thing he wasn't taller) when I met him a few days later to work out the insurance details with his mom. His first comment on seeing her at the hospital was that he was glad it wasn't a car. As for the bike, the handlebars were rotated around the stem by 90 degrees. As for me, no injuries, but my pants were torn at the shoe and the bike helmet was cracked right down the middle.

[theanimal]

Wow. Hoping for a quick recovery.

How was the push up regimen going pre crash? Are you still feeling exhausted during the evening on the days you work?

[1taskaday]

Jacob that bike helmet obviously saved your head from being cracked down the middle...you Scandinavians are always the "gold standard" for the rest of us.

Obviously I had no need for a bike helmet as I was only on a tiddely fold up bike... really how could anyone ever get injured on one of those?

the animal,I have convinced myself (whether true or not) that the reason I had no broken bones,back injuries or any bodily ailments of any sort is that my body was so padded with muscle from my weights work out.

I am just so lucky that I can return to a full active life straight away.

I am off work for a while so no work exhaustion...the push up count is now at 22 in one go... pretty pathetic for most people but amazingly satisfying for me.

[1taskaday]

My 12 week goal to continue doing my weights work out has just 2 more weeks to completion.
I was going to reanalyze my workouts then and possibly join a gym etc But because of the Rona I will continue to workout at home.
I am definitely getting stronger and have had to increase the weights to feel a burn.

I am obsessed with aging well so the weights are a major part of the plan.
I am also keeping the aerobic strand going by walking fast for an hour most days

All this while having no front teeth... can't wait to start my teeth implants.The appointments keep getting cancelled and pushed out further.When the dental work starts it will seemingly take 6 months to complete.

I have to keep going to work a day a week during this pandemic with a small team...I feel like a bag lady with red marks on my face and no front teeth.

My poor ego...

[1taskaday]

Checked back this journal and my 12 week goal of doing weights 3 times a week was actually up on April 10th.

Because of my accident I probably missed about 2 weeks so I will be counting my goal as being met by this weekend.

The most satisfying body development from lifting weights for me is my arms.
They are now gorgeous... if I do say so myself...

As I'm now 51 they used to be hangy...dare I mention the adjective "chicken wing" like.
But now they are tight and muscular and look great in a sleeveless top/dress.

I know first world problems...but as there isn't much else to do physically in lock down...what the hell. I may as well get satisfaction where I can.

Aerobically I'm doing well too as I can get out for fast long walks in a woods near by.

A home gym is brilliant...my favourite room in the house...it contains a treadmill and bike as well.

I also am getting fitted with a denture plate as an emergency appointment so shortly I will have temporary front teeth until I get my permeant implants.

So life in lock down continues...