Thanks wolf. I think I've made a lot of bad decisions and haven't done as well for myself and others as I could have. Some of it is unrealistic fantasizing but most of my criticisms are reasonable. A lot of the problem has been choosing inaction over action. Sticking with the safe choice that doesn't require change when doing something new would have been better (even if the new thing hadn't paid off). Counting on things to somehow get better in the future even though I am not making that happen. Being too patient and waiting for the perfect opportunity to come along. Doing things for other people rather than myself. Not being an advocate for myself or putting myself first. You mention that you're almost content - I am happy with some things, close with some other things, but with a few things I am very disappointed.wolf wrote: ↑Sun Dec 06, 2020 12:25 pmThanks for your openness of sharing your thoughts and feelings. Why do you think you "have mostly wasted the last 10 - 15 years" ? I think the same sometimes, too. If I think about the last 10 to 15 years in my life, I am not really sure, if everything was good. And I'll fantasize, if I could have done anything different, which would have lead to a better life today. But the past is the past. And I'm almost content with all as how I live today. Brooding too much about the past isn't gonna help you in the present. I wanted you to know that you are not alone with such feelings. I could relate to those points as well
For example, I have been at the same job for longer than I've been on these forums. It isn't very hard, it is very reliable, and it pays the bills but I never liked it in the first place and I should have moved on a long time ago. I tried a few times but I had a hard time finding something better when I looked at all the factors and when I did find other jobs to apply for I didn't get hired. It isn't just a matter of needing to take a class or something. Given what I have to work with I am stuck unless I get on another track.