Thanks! I'm not surprised that someone here tried to make underwear from old t shirts but I am surprised that you would bother with the lace. That is great. I've done some sewing and underwear would be a pain.This might not be a popular sentiment around here, but I think it's positive that you're loosening your belt a little. There's a psychological cost/toll that comes with being too frugal. Where that line falls is different for everyone -- for me, it was trying to sew my own underwear out of lace and old t-shirts.
You are absolutely right. Making good choices is part of my problem. Shoes are probably going to cost me $110 for two pairs. Underwear probably $25. I could find that money somewhere easily, but I also feel like cutting too far in other places isn't really a sustainable solution given my partner's needs. If I push too hard on standard of living things I get pushback. It feels like any further cutting is going to cause damage I can't survive.I dunno, it seems like you could fix your underwear/shoe problem for the next year or two using e.g. 10% of your monthly grocery spending or ~100% of the alcohol/bar category for one month; so maybe that [underwear] problem gets undue focus. Perhaps/likely this is due to priorities, but "holy" underwear/shoes are not at the margin of my priorities---I would have looked to reduce most of the/your other categories before the holes became an issue.
I do need to stop stressing about it so much no matter what happens.GdP, one of my lessons on this journey: the stash is there to serve me, not the other way around.
I think we are on the same page. I'm not sure where to cut that isn't messing around at the edges. I know what I would need to do in order to get the numbers right, I just seem to be unable to make the leap. I guess I just want all this shit (car, phone, internet, interesting food and drink, etc.) more than I want to not go to work. It probably really is that simple.Yeah, I've been in the mid-accumulation malaise for awhile. It's frustrating too, because I know if I just spent the time to truly incorporate an ERE systems approach, and get spending down to somewhere near 1K a month, I'd be FI. Yet I don't put in the effort. I even thought about instituting a strict budget, for more motivation, but that has the inherent problems you wrote of above. Besides, that type of thing is taking a step backwards.
The "mid-accumulation malaise" sure is real when the savings rate is too low. I'm jealous of the people who have managed to push past this plateau and get to the mountaintop quickly.
That's kind of where I'm going with the marketing stuff. Maybe it's a last-ditch effort. My attempts at getting my career to the next level have not worked.The other lever you can pull is "earn more income" when you're burned out on the saving lever.