oldbeyond's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
oldbeyond
Posts: 225
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 10:43 pm

Re: oldbeyond's journal

Post by oldbeyond » Sun Aug 11, 2019 8:26 am

I tend to write headings for different parts of my life. I try to make the whole > (sum/product) of the different spheres and make sure my goals are aligned, but I need some structure that chops the chaos of life into manageable pieces.

There are different ways of looking at the whole. It can be conceived as a simple sum. In that case, moving from 9 to 10 in one category (the numbers/scale obviously being arbitrary) is the same as moving from 1 to 2 in another. Or, it's some kind of product where the impact is much greater if you move from bad to ok than from very good to great. One could certainly create many different models that were all providing some truth, and debate their respective merits (and of course how you define and weigh the different spheres is also arbitrary). But it seems to me the product route is the way to go.

Looking at myself, what I usually call the MENTAL sphere is obviously dragging the whole down (half empty), and that's where the potential for great improvement lies (half full). The other spheres, as I've defined them, are OK to good at this point, even if none of them really achieve greatness. But the MENTAL part of my life is, if not terrible, bad. There are a few separate issues I'm dealing with (anxiety, self-esteem, meaning), but the most acute problem (that also feeds into the others) is my poor sleep. There have been periods of relative stability, but overall I've struggled with sleep since my teens. Right now, the last six months have been bad, and the last few weeks terrible, with sleepless nights and accumulating fatigue that is starting to alter my personality and restrict my life (energy is too low for a lot of activities by this point). So short term, I need to get out of this bout of insomnia, and medium term I need to to everything I can to improve sleep quality, making sure that my lows are much higher. With good sleep, I should mellow a bit and be able to attack them from a place of (relative) strength.

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