(1) Brewing Beer: I didn't realize that in pre-modern times beer brewing was popular because it purified water i.e. Martin Luther's wife Katrina was an expert beer brewer and he was forever grateful to her for how it helped him take a good, solid, late Medieval dump;
(2) Internet Addiction: There are many books on this topic. If you haven't read one, you should. Knowing the impact on your neuro-pathaways is some harrowing shit. Any book on cognition is insightful. Its about as scientific as I can get. I recommend Thinking Fast and Slow by Kahneman;
(3) Death: I'm more of a hospice type of guy as opposed to a funeral type of guy because funerals have this "life is for the living" or "let's tell funny stories about this dead douchebag" distraction but hospice is more of a direct, existential confrontation with not only death, but dying. Dying is a fucking arduous task. When you are dying, that's all you can do and its all you are going to fucking do until you are dead. It's not like you can take a break from dying and say "I think I'll go to Aruba to get away from this dying crap." All that time you sit in fucking school and no one tells you the important things like how to save money and how to deal with death. I mean they taught me how to make a fucking apple turnover and yelled at me for scribbling outside the lines but no-one told me how to save money because I'm going to get old and die. Stupid assholes. Fuck them with the dash between their tombstone dates.
oldbeyond's journal
Re: oldbeyond's journal
If you want to learn about death from someone who spends a lot of time with dying people, read these: https://bkbooks.com/products/end-of-lif ... s-booklets
Re: oldbeyond's journal
Great stuff about death, thanks guys 
I do believe in the wisdom of memento mori, but perhaps what I really need is a lesson in living. I've always preferred living in my head to living in the real world. I guess I should've set my sights on academia, but I'm probably to lazy and intellectually honest for that anyways. I came back from my summer vacation to two frantic weeks of working on my own to keep the project I'm on from completely derailing deadline-wise, having to decide for myself what to prioritize and how to do it. The good was that I met the challenged and delivered. That was perhaps likely but not a given and I do take some pride in that. The bad was that my internal state of frantic anxiety, bitterness and self-pity hardly counts as grace under pressure. It really took my psychological weak spots and magnified them in a harsh light. Also it derailed the social, creative and spiritual sides of my life. Meditating on this, I feel that there are two basic dysfunctions at play here.
The first is a sense of entitlement. I really feel that the world owes me something, that I am special and that any suffering that befalls me is almost metaphysically repulsive. I'm not proud to say so but that's where I stand currently. This fuels my laziness, bitterness and self-pity. I'm the angry child raging at father Absolute for not satisfying my every whim.
The second is excessive worrying. This is slightly different, because as opposed to my sense of entitlement, my bearishness does pay some dividends. It helps me see the world more clearly and has certainly allowed me to dodge a few bullets. It's a question of dosage. It is a form of addiction for me, reveling in that i fear most, testing fate in summoning ever worse scenarios to contemplate. Here it's more a question of a balancing act, avoiding some obvious traps without sucking all joy out of life. Especially as the worrying triggers the self-pity.
In a nutshell: perhaps suffering is in the cards for me, as it might be for anyone, and there's not really any point in obsessing about it:
For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it.
I do believe in the wisdom of memento mori, but perhaps what I really need is a lesson in living. I've always preferred living in my head to living in the real world. I guess I should've set my sights on academia, but I'm probably to lazy and intellectually honest for that anyways. I came back from my summer vacation to two frantic weeks of working on my own to keep the project I'm on from completely derailing deadline-wise, having to decide for myself what to prioritize and how to do it. The good was that I met the challenged and delivered. That was perhaps likely but not a given and I do take some pride in that. The bad was that my internal state of frantic anxiety, bitterness and self-pity hardly counts as grace under pressure. It really took my psychological weak spots and magnified them in a harsh light. Also it derailed the social, creative and spiritual sides of my life. Meditating on this, I feel that there are two basic dysfunctions at play here. The first is a sense of entitlement. I really feel that the world owes me something, that I am special and that any suffering that befalls me is almost metaphysically repulsive. I'm not proud to say so but that's where I stand currently. This fuels my laziness, bitterness and self-pity. I'm the angry child raging at father Absolute for not satisfying my every whim.
The second is excessive worrying. This is slightly different, because as opposed to my sense of entitlement, my bearishness does pay some dividends. It helps me see the world more clearly and has certainly allowed me to dodge a few bullets. It's a question of dosage. It is a form of addiction for me, reveling in that i fear most, testing fate in summoning ever worse scenarios to contemplate. Here it's more a question of a balancing act, avoiding some obvious traps without sucking all joy out of life. Especially as the worrying triggers the self-pity.
In a nutshell: perhaps suffering is in the cards for me, as it might be for anyone, and there's not really any point in obsessing about it:
For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it.
-
Jason
Re: oldbeyond's journal
lol@Great stuff about death.
I consider myself pretty death obsessed but you Swedes take it to a whole other level.
I consider myself pretty death obsessed but you Swedes take it to a whole other level.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
FINANCIAL:
For the last six months, the surplus has been used to renovate our apartment. New kitchen cabinet doors, new floors, paint, wallpaper, new stove and washing machine, also the tearing down of a wall. We did some of it ourselves, while the rest was done by professionals. Some it was mandatory(electrical work), some of it a bit ambitious to DIY(wall demolition), and some of it we hired out merely for convenience(wallpaper, floors). I didn't mind the work we did in itself, but the combined pressure of full-time+ work and renovations was a bit much to me, so I was quite happy to hire out the rest for convenience's sake. I would have like to have tried my hand at doing the wallpaper, but I'm sure there'll be a next time. All in all, everything we did either improved the apartments layout/utility, or its aesthetics, and quite efficiently from a financial standpoint. We've spent about 5% of purchase price all in all, which likely is quite a bit less than what we would've spent extra if we'd bought a shinier place, and now it's all done to our tastes. But I'll confess that it'll be nice to reduce the outflows and resume building NW again. Savings will be 50/50 principal paydown/investments(gold+equities). Our emergency fund(1x expenses) is fully funded still. Short-term, my goal is 50% savings. Mid-term, 10x expenses + pay down mortgage, part-time work. Long-term 30x, more passive side business(es).
HEALTH:
I'm a bit stronger and I've been running a bit recently, so my cardio has improved quite a bit. I've added some body fat recently, likely due to stress induced comfort food intake. I've gotten a bit stronger and added some muscle, but my progress has been slow. I think this is mainly due to 1) low volume and 2) stress/sleep. My goal is to do my strength routine + 20 min of running(my goal is to fit 5km in these 20 minutes by the end of the year, currenly at 4.05) 2 times/week. This should be very much possible to achieve, but I've stumbled due to my situation at work in recent weeks. My diet is good if I avoid cake etc(at work) and crisps etc(at home), but I could eat more fatty fish, nuts and vegetables.
MENTAL:
I bad at dealing with stress/anxiety and I struggle to maintain a dialogue with myself. Also I am coming to terms with basically being on the high-functioning autism spectrum. I used to blame my awkwardness on anxiety, but really I just don't get people intuitively, even if I can devise decent models/heuristics for human behavior. There's also the lack of energy to perform in social situations. I feel that I can do more with what I have to improve my situation. I've also been lacking in hope/optimism, not really striving for anything or feeling that I can handle adversity.
WORK:
Work has been very intense. Planning and responsibility has been lacking from my superiors, but also from myself. It's likely a 50/50 split in assigning the blame. I need to improve my planning and efficiency, and also force the people around me to improve. If I don't, I will get crushed, because I lack the stamina to keep up with the recent workload bursts long-term, and I don't want the lives of some of the people 5-10 years my senior, that I'm slowly morphing into. On the plus side, I've been learning a lot, and been given some recognition in a specialized role, taking courses and going to conferences. I hope to involve scripting/programming more into my work, taking small steps toward computer science.
SOCIAL:
I've been more active with friends and family, but I feel more odd and awkward. I think I need to treat it more like a game, and come to terms with constantly making an effort.
For the last six months, the surplus has been used to renovate our apartment. New kitchen cabinet doors, new floors, paint, wallpaper, new stove and washing machine, also the tearing down of a wall. We did some of it ourselves, while the rest was done by professionals. Some it was mandatory(electrical work), some of it a bit ambitious to DIY(wall demolition), and some of it we hired out merely for convenience(wallpaper, floors). I didn't mind the work we did in itself, but the combined pressure of full-time+ work and renovations was a bit much to me, so I was quite happy to hire out the rest for convenience's sake. I would have like to have tried my hand at doing the wallpaper, but I'm sure there'll be a next time. All in all, everything we did either improved the apartments layout/utility, or its aesthetics, and quite efficiently from a financial standpoint. We've spent about 5% of purchase price all in all, which likely is quite a bit less than what we would've spent extra if we'd bought a shinier place, and now it's all done to our tastes. But I'll confess that it'll be nice to reduce the outflows and resume building NW again. Savings will be 50/50 principal paydown/investments(gold+equities). Our emergency fund(1x expenses) is fully funded still. Short-term, my goal is 50% savings. Mid-term, 10x expenses + pay down mortgage, part-time work. Long-term 30x, more passive side business(es).
HEALTH:
I'm a bit stronger and I've been running a bit recently, so my cardio has improved quite a bit. I've added some body fat recently, likely due to stress induced comfort food intake. I've gotten a bit stronger and added some muscle, but my progress has been slow. I think this is mainly due to 1) low volume and 2) stress/sleep. My goal is to do my strength routine + 20 min of running(my goal is to fit 5km in these 20 minutes by the end of the year, currenly at 4.05) 2 times/week. This should be very much possible to achieve, but I've stumbled due to my situation at work in recent weeks. My diet is good if I avoid cake etc(at work) and crisps etc(at home), but I could eat more fatty fish, nuts and vegetables.
MENTAL:
I bad at dealing with stress/anxiety and I struggle to maintain a dialogue with myself. Also I am coming to terms with basically being on the high-functioning autism spectrum. I used to blame my awkwardness on anxiety, but really I just don't get people intuitively, even if I can devise decent models/heuristics for human behavior. There's also the lack of energy to perform in social situations. I feel that I can do more with what I have to improve my situation. I've also been lacking in hope/optimism, not really striving for anything or feeling that I can handle adversity.
WORK:
Work has been very intense. Planning and responsibility has been lacking from my superiors, but also from myself. It's likely a 50/50 split in assigning the blame. I need to improve my planning and efficiency, and also force the people around me to improve. If I don't, I will get crushed, because I lack the stamina to keep up with the recent workload bursts long-term, and I don't want the lives of some of the people 5-10 years my senior, that I'm slowly morphing into. On the plus side, I've been learning a lot, and been given some recognition in a specialized role, taking courses and going to conferences. I hope to involve scripting/programming more into my work, taking small steps toward computer science.
SOCIAL:
I've been more active with friends and family, but I feel more odd and awkward. I think I need to treat it more like a game, and come to terms with constantly making an effort.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
oldbeyond, why do you "feel more odd and awkward" around friends and family? Usually those are the people who you can trust and can be authentic. But I guess, somehow I can think of it this way. May family only knows a very vague description about what I am trying to achieve (ERE, FI...) And of course my colleagues don't know anything. So in a way I kind of have to live with some aspects of my live which others don't know anything about it. Do you talk about ERE, etc with your family and friends?
...and by the way, thank you for this journal entry. Your roadmap to your financial goals sounds great!
...and by the way, thank you for this journal entry. Your roadmap to your financial goals sounds great!
Re: oldbeyond's journal
Not more than around other people, but more than before. Being more active socially has made me become more self-aware(/self-conscious), it was easier to fool myself into feeling normal by avoiding social interactions. So it's not really my lifestyle choices(family sort of know about my plans, friends not as much, but they know I'm frugal(/cheap)), but rather personality traits coming up against my self-image.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
FINANCIAL:
Finally a surplus this month, not quite at 50% SR but almost, and that's with a new iPhone(well to us, bought used) for the GF and two birthday celebrations in the family. All our outflows are now linked to the same account, so it's easy to break down our expenditure using the banks app/website. I showed our stats to my girlfriend and she was amazed that we spent so much. I guess I have a pretty solid team mate in her.
Given that our lives are pretty optimized on the strategic level, we simply have to avoid splurging on outings/experiences/stuff to maintain a 50% SR(I include principal pay down on student loans and mortgage in this number, excluding that we’re at 35-40%). We’re quite frugal by nature so this usually isn’t too much of a struggle, especially since the budget isn’t all that extreme. It’s set at a level were friction is minimized and we simply live according to our nature. Since that spending is reasonable on a relative basis(50% SR) and on an absolute basis(1,25 x 1 median income), I feel fine about it. But I try to experiment with cost cutting to have the tools at my disposal should circumstances change and to make sure that any splurging is done voluntarily and with awareness. Mostly it consists of going out for food/drinks/concerts, so it’s relatively low footprint.
The plan is still to split the surplus 50/50 between mortgage principal pay down and my asset allocation(80% stocks, 15% gold, 5% commodities). In 4 years when our mortgage resets we should be at 60-65% of Loan to Nominal Purchase Price and have a couple of more years expenses in stocks.
In accordance with the current trend in the FIRE-sphere, I’ve been trying to cultivate a mindset of financial abundance right where I’m at. We only need to earn a median income between the both of us to get by, and our skills are in demand across time and space, especially my GF:s. We have a years expenses in cash(likely way more in a pinch), another in the stock market and 2-3 in the apartment. That’s not FI, but it is a lot of options.
WORK:
The workload has remained intense, with a two week lull I was to burned out to utilize fully followed by a two week grind. I have my annual performance review coming up and I will be bringing up the big guns to make them understand that I will not be able to continue like this. On the positive side I’ve learned even more, been to a fun conference and got our team to pull together during the last push, in a way we hadn’t before.
MENTAL:
There is a deep fatigue in me, and I will have to thread carefully so that I don’t slip into burnout. But dealing with the grind over the last few months has had its bright spots. I’ve taken responsibility in a way I had always ducked before and dared to attempt to manage upcoming challenges. I’ve thrown myself into technically challenging situations and come out the other side. I’ve rediscovered a sense of pride, and a sense of hope and direction. Basically I was in a rut, and probably needed something to shake me out of it. For all the stress and frustration, it has been better than quiet desperation.
I still need to work on my inner dialogue, awareness and cultivating a balanced outlook - not a grim resignation nor a giddy frenzy. And I need to make sure I do not let the stress crush me.
I also rediscovered my interest in productivity, and have been better at using a todo-system, setting reminders and in general getting stuff out of my head. This really helps with low-level anxiety/stress.
ERUDITION:
I’ve taken up my Chinese flashcards again, will plow through all of the HSK and then consolidate a bit. I’ve registered for an online course in the fall, partly as a refresher, partly for credit. I want to get into the habit of reading Chinese again, likely newspaper articles.
I’ve been reading more in general as of late, a habit that had been largely lost over the last year.
Finally a surplus this month, not quite at 50% SR but almost, and that's with a new iPhone(well to us, bought used) for the GF and two birthday celebrations in the family. All our outflows are now linked to the same account, so it's easy to break down our expenditure using the banks app/website. I showed our stats to my girlfriend and she was amazed that we spent so much. I guess I have a pretty solid team mate in her.
Given that our lives are pretty optimized on the strategic level, we simply have to avoid splurging on outings/experiences/stuff to maintain a 50% SR(I include principal pay down on student loans and mortgage in this number, excluding that we’re at 35-40%). We’re quite frugal by nature so this usually isn’t too much of a struggle, especially since the budget isn’t all that extreme. It’s set at a level were friction is minimized and we simply live according to our nature. Since that spending is reasonable on a relative basis(50% SR) and on an absolute basis(1,25 x 1 median income), I feel fine about it. But I try to experiment with cost cutting to have the tools at my disposal should circumstances change and to make sure that any splurging is done voluntarily and with awareness. Mostly it consists of going out for food/drinks/concerts, so it’s relatively low footprint.
The plan is still to split the surplus 50/50 between mortgage principal pay down and my asset allocation(80% stocks, 15% gold, 5% commodities). In 4 years when our mortgage resets we should be at 60-65% of Loan to Nominal Purchase Price and have a couple of more years expenses in stocks.
In accordance with the current trend in the FIRE-sphere, I’ve been trying to cultivate a mindset of financial abundance right where I’m at. We only need to earn a median income between the both of us to get by, and our skills are in demand across time and space, especially my GF:s. We have a years expenses in cash(likely way more in a pinch), another in the stock market and 2-3 in the apartment. That’s not FI, but it is a lot of options.
WORK:
The workload has remained intense, with a two week lull I was to burned out to utilize fully followed by a two week grind. I have my annual performance review coming up and I will be bringing up the big guns to make them understand that I will not be able to continue like this. On the positive side I’ve learned even more, been to a fun conference and got our team to pull together during the last push, in a way we hadn’t before.
MENTAL:
There is a deep fatigue in me, and I will have to thread carefully so that I don’t slip into burnout. But dealing with the grind over the last few months has had its bright spots. I’ve taken responsibility in a way I had always ducked before and dared to attempt to manage upcoming challenges. I’ve thrown myself into technically challenging situations and come out the other side. I’ve rediscovered a sense of pride, and a sense of hope and direction. Basically I was in a rut, and probably needed something to shake me out of it. For all the stress and frustration, it has been better than quiet desperation.
I still need to work on my inner dialogue, awareness and cultivating a balanced outlook - not a grim resignation nor a giddy frenzy. And I need to make sure I do not let the stress crush me.
I also rediscovered my interest in productivity, and have been better at using a todo-system, setting reminders and in general getting stuff out of my head. This really helps with low-level anxiety/stress.
ERUDITION:
I’ve taken up my Chinese flashcards again, will plow through all of the HSK and then consolidate a bit. I’ve registered for an online course in the fall, partly as a refresher, partly for credit. I want to get into the habit of reading Chinese again, likely newspaper articles.
I’ve been reading more in general as of late, a habit that had been largely lost over the last year.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
FINANCIAL:
We’ve bought some summer clothes, decorations for our home and celebrated a few birthdays, but things are generally moving as expected. But I do have a few near-term goals for my spending:
- Procuring more clothes and ”stuff” second hand rather than new. Some stuff I will still buy new(underwear, utensils etc) but quite a few of our purchases are made at the big box/mall simply for convenience.
- Improving my bike maintenance skills. I ride my bike every day, so I should be able to to 90%+ of the required maintenance. It’s also important to have it back in working order quickly so I don’t fall back to my old tram-riding ways.
- Eating less meat and dairy which will likely lower costs, while the motivation is really to lower our footprint. I’ve been eating lentils for breakfast recently, which is a very filling start to the day and avoids having to convince my GF of their deliciousness.
For investing, I’ve been looking more at timing strategies, just simple ones like MA200 TAA and the like. I will explore it further before I make any changes to my buy and hold ways. I’ve added some ballast in the form if low volatility and high dividend yield funds as of late.
As for the mortgage, paying down 0.4*NI extra over the next four years would put us at 70% loan to purchase price, which is ~60% loan to current value, which seems like enough of a cushion to me. So everything we save in excess of that will be added to our portfolio.
WORK/MENTAL:
The main thing has been me working on my productivity infrastructure, as I described in my last post. I’ve expanded this further and have gotten a lot more organized, which has reduced my stress levels and allowed me to accomplish more. I’ve bought the GTD-book and will continue to work on this. Right now I’m on summer leave, which I think was needed in order to really stage a recovery in my energy levels. Despite my improved habits, I’ve been a bit grumpy and tense, so I need to decompress a bit before I get back on the horse. This fall will likely be quite intense, and after that I might be heading a project of my own.
If we start a family, I will likely reduce my hours by 20%, like a lot of people in my office. In the short term I will be pushing to increase my competence, both technical and in project management. I’m thinking more in terms of So Good They Can’t Ignore You, these days.
The next step is to work on my mental development, I think in the form of meditation of both the discursive and symbolic varieties. Laying the groundwork for this will be a goal for the summer leave.
HEALTH:
I’m still weak, but there has been a marked improvement both in performance and optics during the spring, so I think I’m on the right track. I feel at home with the lifts I’m doing and I am pushing myself. When it comes to my running, pace has definitely improved and the subjective experience is very much less excruciating than before. Right now, it is more a case of keeping up with it during stressful periods.
ERUDITION:
I’ve the first book of Spengler’s The Decline of the West and am now working the second volume. Truly a read of a lifetime and really something to wrestle with.
I’ve fallen a bit behind on my flashcards, but I have an online course in Chinese in the fall to motivate me during the summer.
We’ve bought some summer clothes, decorations for our home and celebrated a few birthdays, but things are generally moving as expected. But I do have a few near-term goals for my spending:
- Procuring more clothes and ”stuff” second hand rather than new. Some stuff I will still buy new(underwear, utensils etc) but quite a few of our purchases are made at the big box/mall simply for convenience.
- Improving my bike maintenance skills. I ride my bike every day, so I should be able to to 90%+ of the required maintenance. It’s also important to have it back in working order quickly so I don’t fall back to my old tram-riding ways.
- Eating less meat and dairy which will likely lower costs, while the motivation is really to lower our footprint. I’ve been eating lentils for breakfast recently, which is a very filling start to the day and avoids having to convince my GF of their deliciousness.
For investing, I’ve been looking more at timing strategies, just simple ones like MA200 TAA and the like. I will explore it further before I make any changes to my buy and hold ways. I’ve added some ballast in the form if low volatility and high dividend yield funds as of late.
As for the mortgage, paying down 0.4*NI extra over the next four years would put us at 70% loan to purchase price, which is ~60% loan to current value, which seems like enough of a cushion to me. So everything we save in excess of that will be added to our portfolio.
WORK/MENTAL:
The main thing has been me working on my productivity infrastructure, as I described in my last post. I’ve expanded this further and have gotten a lot more organized, which has reduced my stress levels and allowed me to accomplish more. I’ve bought the GTD-book and will continue to work on this. Right now I’m on summer leave, which I think was needed in order to really stage a recovery in my energy levels. Despite my improved habits, I’ve been a bit grumpy and tense, so I need to decompress a bit before I get back on the horse. This fall will likely be quite intense, and after that I might be heading a project of my own.
If we start a family, I will likely reduce my hours by 20%, like a lot of people in my office. In the short term I will be pushing to increase my competence, both technical and in project management. I’m thinking more in terms of So Good They Can’t Ignore You, these days.
The next step is to work on my mental development, I think in the form of meditation of both the discursive and symbolic varieties. Laying the groundwork for this will be a goal for the summer leave.
HEALTH:
I’m still weak, but there has been a marked improvement both in performance and optics during the spring, so I think I’m on the right track. I feel at home with the lifts I’m doing and I am pushing myself. When it comes to my running, pace has definitely improved and the subjective experience is very much less excruciating than before. Right now, it is more a case of keeping up with it during stressful periods.
ERUDITION:
I’ve the first book of Spengler’s The Decline of the West and am now working the second volume. Truly a read of a lifetime and really something to wrestle with.
I’ve fallen a bit behind on my flashcards, but I have an online course in Chinese in the fall to motivate me during the summer.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
FINANCIAL:
I've adopted a MA200 strategy for my liquid investments. It's an even five way split between global large cap/domestic mid cap/global small cap/EM/PM. Each is traded based on the 200DMA, so currently EM and PM are in cash. I'm increasingly nervous about valuations so this is a way to hedge my bets and limit drawdowns, without retreating to the sidelines completely.
Recent clothing purchases have been made in thrift stores apart from underwear/basic t-shirts, so that's a win. I've also invested in better shoe care products to better maintain my footwear stock. The trick is of course to not buy anything, but these filled gaps in my wardrobe and will last for years.
I still haven't moved on the bike maintenance, but haven’t had anything to fix since the last time around either.
I got a pay raise that was very good if not outstanding, in general I’ll be pushing for control over my work ahead of maximizing pay so I won’t be expending career capital trying to wring a couple of percent more out ot the company. Along with me not renewing my buss pass the raise will lift my budgeted savings rate to a bit over 50%.
WORK/MENTAL:
GTD has stuck very well, perhaps contrary to my expectations. There’s certainly more to be had from managing projects and the weekly reviews so I’m not claiming to have perfected it, but getting things out of my head and clearing inboxes are becoming habits, and my stress revels are quite a bit reduced.
Things have been going well at the office, if I was inclined to I could probably push for more responsibility, titles, people to manage and the like and make great strides over the next few years, and then be solidly on the partner track. I can get a bit high on that thought, but I do not think it suits my personality very well, nor do I think I have the energy for it. I quite enjoy managing a project, which I really thought I wouldn’t, but I think that’s because I’m in it and get to see results on the ground. I also very much enjoy improving my technical competence. So my plan right now is to improve my technical abilities and management skills, and in the end run small teams to my liking on my own, improving my productivity and reducing my hours, while being fierce about selecting projects and people.
I still haven’t moved on the meditation. I’m considering a retreat to kick things off, and then only having to maintain the habit.
HEALTH:
Much the same, but I ran 10km in rugged terrain in under an hour. My goal is 10km in 50 minutes on flat ground so I’m not too far off. Deadlifts are at 110kg, bench press at 60, leg press at 160(1RM), so there’s still a ways to go in the strength deparment. I need to check up on my knee with a physical therapist and start on squats. Diet is ok, I’ve eaten a bit more crap in the evenings to build muscle and I seem to have. Body fat is still OK so I will keep going like this for a bit more.
Right now, reducing/managing stress is likely to have the greatest positive impact on my health.
SOCIAL:
Work in itself has been more social and there’s been a lot of work-related events. I’ve also made plans with family and friends so I have a bit going on in my calendar during the fall. I need to prioritize doing new activities with my SO as well as keeping in touch with friends out of town over Skype/email. As well improving my social skills in general, or at least learning useful scripts for challenging situations.
ERUDITION:
I’ve been quite diligent with the flashcards as well as reading in Chinese. I’d like to take the HSK6 within a year. The reading should be fine, grammar/writing will need a bit of brushing up but listening will require some serious work I haven’t even started on yet. So the next challenge will be to make time for listening in my routine, and longer term hiring a tutor for speaking/grammar questions, likely over Skype.
The Chinese would also be a great fall back as an alternative income stream, both in tutoring and translation. Not greatly paid, but flexible and location independent. And with a bit of business sense I could likely do well connecting upper middle class parents and native Chinese teachers, as well as assisting in setting up a system of flashcards/podcasts/book reading.
I've adopted a MA200 strategy for my liquid investments. It's an even five way split between global large cap/domestic mid cap/global small cap/EM/PM. Each is traded based on the 200DMA, so currently EM and PM are in cash. I'm increasingly nervous about valuations so this is a way to hedge my bets and limit drawdowns, without retreating to the sidelines completely.
Recent clothing purchases have been made in thrift stores apart from underwear/basic t-shirts, so that's a win. I've also invested in better shoe care products to better maintain my footwear stock. The trick is of course to not buy anything, but these filled gaps in my wardrobe and will last for years.
I still haven't moved on the bike maintenance, but haven’t had anything to fix since the last time around either.
I got a pay raise that was very good if not outstanding, in general I’ll be pushing for control over my work ahead of maximizing pay so I won’t be expending career capital trying to wring a couple of percent more out ot the company. Along with me not renewing my buss pass the raise will lift my budgeted savings rate to a bit over 50%.
WORK/MENTAL:
GTD has stuck very well, perhaps contrary to my expectations. There’s certainly more to be had from managing projects and the weekly reviews so I’m not claiming to have perfected it, but getting things out of my head and clearing inboxes are becoming habits, and my stress revels are quite a bit reduced.
Things have been going well at the office, if I was inclined to I could probably push for more responsibility, titles, people to manage and the like and make great strides over the next few years, and then be solidly on the partner track. I can get a bit high on that thought, but I do not think it suits my personality very well, nor do I think I have the energy for it. I quite enjoy managing a project, which I really thought I wouldn’t, but I think that’s because I’m in it and get to see results on the ground. I also very much enjoy improving my technical competence. So my plan right now is to improve my technical abilities and management skills, and in the end run small teams to my liking on my own, improving my productivity and reducing my hours, while being fierce about selecting projects and people.
I still haven’t moved on the meditation. I’m considering a retreat to kick things off, and then only having to maintain the habit.
HEALTH:
Much the same, but I ran 10km in rugged terrain in under an hour. My goal is 10km in 50 minutes on flat ground so I’m not too far off. Deadlifts are at 110kg, bench press at 60, leg press at 160(1RM), so there’s still a ways to go in the strength deparment. I need to check up on my knee with a physical therapist and start on squats. Diet is ok, I’ve eaten a bit more crap in the evenings to build muscle and I seem to have. Body fat is still OK so I will keep going like this for a bit more.
Right now, reducing/managing stress is likely to have the greatest positive impact on my health.
SOCIAL:
Work in itself has been more social and there’s been a lot of work-related events. I’ve also made plans with family and friends so I have a bit going on in my calendar during the fall. I need to prioritize doing new activities with my SO as well as keeping in touch with friends out of town over Skype/email. As well improving my social skills in general, or at least learning useful scripts for challenging situations.
ERUDITION:
I’ve been quite diligent with the flashcards as well as reading in Chinese. I’d like to take the HSK6 within a year. The reading should be fine, grammar/writing will need a bit of brushing up but listening will require some serious work I haven’t even started on yet. So the next challenge will be to make time for listening in my routine, and longer term hiring a tutor for speaking/grammar questions, likely over Skype.
The Chinese would also be a great fall back as an alternative income stream, both in tutoring and translation. Not greatly paid, but flexible and location independent. And with a bit of business sense I could likely do well connecting upper middle class parents and native Chinese teachers, as well as assisting in setting up a system of flashcards/podcasts/book reading.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
WORK/MENTAL:
The work situation spiraled out of control again during fall, with the associated long hours, lack of sleep and constant toxic stress levels finally getting the better of me just before Christmas, causing my to simply burn out. This is obviously a major event for me, and has changed my situation a lot in the short term, while of course also forcing me to reflect a lot on my life. I’m slowly getting back to it, but it’s obvious that I need to lower the pressure, while at the same time work on my resilience. This will be a long journey but it’s obvious to me that I need to work on my perfectionism and self-esteem.
I’ve been sticking to GTD to avoid become to passive, and I think it’s been very valuable to stay on top of chores and obligations even when I was at my worst. Performing two hours worth of menial tasks was an exhausting days work, but it gave me structure and I think helped me avoid depression.
I’ve also taken another stab at breaking my internet addictions, I’ve blocked the sites I check habitually(including these forums) in Safari on my phone by manually adding them to the content blocker I use. I can still access them in Firefox Focus, but with no bookmarks or history, I have to type out the URLs. This friction seems to be enough to kill a lot of the urges, improving my focus/mindfulness and reducing my mental chatter. Highly recommended.
HEALTH:
I slept a lot right after the event, after which I experienced another 2-3 weeks of insomnia. Currently I am sleeping well again, but I’ve spent some time reading up on sleep focused CBT and changed my routine somewhat. Obviously the real test will be maintaining healthy sleep when the pressure increases again, but I have several promising tactics to employ should the problems return. I’ve also been tackling my general worry and anxiety, which seems to be the major cause of my not sleeping.
My workouts suffered once I entered the final, chaotic stretch, but I am back at it again. I turns out sleeping and not wallowing in acute stress actually helps quite a bit with the results. I’ve been able to increase my max quite a bit in most strength exercises which feels great. I still lack bragging rights, but I am exiting the total noob zone. And it’s fun. I’ve done bit of cardio but not too much, knee pains and laziness probably have me regressing a little bit. Picking it up again is a goal, but the main priorities is sleep quality and stress management. Diet is mostly the same(omnivore with a lot of dense vegetables, and quite a bit of refined carbs due to practicality/picky GF), with perhaps a bit less meat/dairy and more seeds/nuts/fish lately. I did a health checkup and all the markers where great so I don’t really focus too much on my eating right now.
FINANCIAL:
Currently 100% cash, but it looks like I’ll buy EM and gold at the next rebalance.
I’ve created better spread sheets for following up on my expenses. My bank app tracks spending categories for all cards and accounts, so I just manually transfer the data at the end of each month.
For 2018 the numbers are a bit fuzzier, but we managed a savings rate of 15-20% if you only count liquid savings/debt pay down. Counting our remodeling as an investment it’s more like 35-40%. A holiday in the summer and some furniture purchases made us break our budget and fall short. Both should be much lower this year and I have much better routines for following up on my spending.
In general, my mindset has shifted quite a bit and I’m not thinking too much about FI per se. I try to improve my skills, maintain balance(I obviously failed last year) and live more deliberately. When I do so, the savings rate seems to sort itself out, and I feel alive instead of like a soulless dragon guarding my treasure. The planning tools my spreadsheets give me are very valuable. But perhaps they are at their most valuable when used once a month or so, charting the course and then walking for another month. I also feel more and more that I want to work in some way for most of the rest of my life. Perhaps not full time, perhaps not with a great deal of pressure and prestige, but I want to provide a service and get money or goods in return for it. My stash will more be a natural result of my way of life, a safety net and a way to increase my optionality.
SOCIAL:
I haven’t isolated myself, but I’ve been less active socially, mostly as a result of being tired all the time. As I feel better I’ll schedule more social activities, but I am quite introverted so I need to find balance. A couple of activities a week is probably optimal for me. I’ll also plan ahead more, going forward it’ll be a something to plan in my weekly review.
ERUDITION:
I’ve finished some self-help books, as well as the second volume of Decline of the West. Lately I’ve had a hard time concentrating on reading. As for the Chinese I’ve done a fair bit of flashcards, I’ve now added all the cards from the old and new HSK. I’ll work on the leeches but I don’t think I’ll add new cards in quite a while. At this stage it’s probably better for me to spend my time reading and listening more, habits I still need to work on. The current Chinese novel I read is going quite well, I enjoy reading once I get going but there’s always some resistance towards sitting myself down to begin with. Hopefully it will recede as I read more.
The work situation spiraled out of control again during fall, with the associated long hours, lack of sleep and constant toxic stress levels finally getting the better of me just before Christmas, causing my to simply burn out. This is obviously a major event for me, and has changed my situation a lot in the short term, while of course also forcing me to reflect a lot on my life. I’m slowly getting back to it, but it’s obvious that I need to lower the pressure, while at the same time work on my resilience. This will be a long journey but it’s obvious to me that I need to work on my perfectionism and self-esteem.
I’ve been sticking to GTD to avoid become to passive, and I think it’s been very valuable to stay on top of chores and obligations even when I was at my worst. Performing two hours worth of menial tasks was an exhausting days work, but it gave me structure and I think helped me avoid depression.
I’ve also taken another stab at breaking my internet addictions, I’ve blocked the sites I check habitually(including these forums) in Safari on my phone by manually adding them to the content blocker I use. I can still access them in Firefox Focus, but with no bookmarks or history, I have to type out the URLs. This friction seems to be enough to kill a lot of the urges, improving my focus/mindfulness and reducing my mental chatter. Highly recommended.
HEALTH:
I slept a lot right after the event, after which I experienced another 2-3 weeks of insomnia. Currently I am sleeping well again, but I’ve spent some time reading up on sleep focused CBT and changed my routine somewhat. Obviously the real test will be maintaining healthy sleep when the pressure increases again, but I have several promising tactics to employ should the problems return. I’ve also been tackling my general worry and anxiety, which seems to be the major cause of my not sleeping.
My workouts suffered once I entered the final, chaotic stretch, but I am back at it again. I turns out sleeping and not wallowing in acute stress actually helps quite a bit with the results. I’ve been able to increase my max quite a bit in most strength exercises which feels great. I still lack bragging rights, but I am exiting the total noob zone. And it’s fun. I’ve done bit of cardio but not too much, knee pains and laziness probably have me regressing a little bit. Picking it up again is a goal, but the main priorities is sleep quality and stress management. Diet is mostly the same(omnivore with a lot of dense vegetables, and quite a bit of refined carbs due to practicality/picky GF), with perhaps a bit less meat/dairy and more seeds/nuts/fish lately. I did a health checkup and all the markers where great so I don’t really focus too much on my eating right now.
FINANCIAL:
Currently 100% cash, but it looks like I’ll buy EM and gold at the next rebalance.
I’ve created better spread sheets for following up on my expenses. My bank app tracks spending categories for all cards and accounts, so I just manually transfer the data at the end of each month.
For 2018 the numbers are a bit fuzzier, but we managed a savings rate of 15-20% if you only count liquid savings/debt pay down. Counting our remodeling as an investment it’s more like 35-40%. A holiday in the summer and some furniture purchases made us break our budget and fall short. Both should be much lower this year and I have much better routines for following up on my spending.
In general, my mindset has shifted quite a bit and I’m not thinking too much about FI per se. I try to improve my skills, maintain balance(I obviously failed last year) and live more deliberately. When I do so, the savings rate seems to sort itself out, and I feel alive instead of like a soulless dragon guarding my treasure. The planning tools my spreadsheets give me are very valuable. But perhaps they are at their most valuable when used once a month or so, charting the course and then walking for another month. I also feel more and more that I want to work in some way for most of the rest of my life. Perhaps not full time, perhaps not with a great deal of pressure and prestige, but I want to provide a service and get money or goods in return for it. My stash will more be a natural result of my way of life, a safety net and a way to increase my optionality.
SOCIAL:
I haven’t isolated myself, but I’ve been less active socially, mostly as a result of being tired all the time. As I feel better I’ll schedule more social activities, but I am quite introverted so I need to find balance. A couple of activities a week is probably optimal for me. I’ll also plan ahead more, going forward it’ll be a something to plan in my weekly review.
ERUDITION:
I’ve finished some self-help books, as well as the second volume of Decline of the West. Lately I’ve had a hard time concentrating on reading. As for the Chinese I’ve done a fair bit of flashcards, I’ve now added all the cards from the old and new HSK. I’ll work on the leeches but I don’t think I’ll add new cards in quite a while. At this stage it’s probably better for me to spend my time reading and listening more, habits I still need to work on. The current Chinese novel I read is going quite well, I enjoy reading once I get going but there’s always some resistance towards sitting myself down to begin with. Hopefully it will recede as I read more.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
I’ve been reflecting on my motivations for pursuing FI and where I am on the journey. Is it a worthwhile pursuit for me or simply a substitute for something else?
When I started out, my aim was mostly to avoid financial disaster. I don’t really remember noticing the financial crisis as it happened (our corner of the world had a rough year and then bounced back basically, and I was a student at the time so the chaos in the labour market didn’t affect me) but I think it made an impression in the years after. I was born into a local economic crisis, so taken together I guess these two events have imbued me with something of a depression era mentality. My temperament is generally a bit on the neurotic side, always looking for potential hidden issues with everything, so perhaps I would have been much the same even without these particular formative episodes. No matter why, I wanted financial stability.
As of now, I could handle a halving of the value of the housing market and probably around 3-4 years of concurrent unemployment for both me and my girlfriend. So basically a Great Depression anew. There are certainly scenarios that would have us wind up in dire straits - depositors insurance collapsing, nationalization of financial assets, hyperinflation etc. We would be decently positioned to flee, though. And the bigger lesson is that you can’t really hedge these types of events completely. I will continue to increase my resilience by becoming more self-sufficient, adding skills and increasing my network, but the fact is that I’ve already achieved most the the security I will ever have by now.
That is in the short to medium term. In the long term I also need to prepare for retirement. Because of our low expenses (not by ERE standards, but compared to the rest of society), we might be OK with whatever we get from our version of SS and superannuation, but I think that is a bit to risky. So for the long term, FI is certainly a worthwhile goal. With our SR, WR and current NW, that’s due in 15-20 years depending on market return, with constant salary/expenses.
After a while I discovered ERE/MMM, and a second motivation crystallized itself, namely freedom from work. I had fantasized about this previously, but now it suddenly seemed attainable. A lot of the changes to my life that I have made have been extremely valuable - where I live, how I move about, what I eat, how I spend my free time, what qualities I look for in other people etc. Regardless of finances, these choices have immensely increased my quality of life, and I would not undo them even if I found myself with unlimited assets/cash flow. But I think the quest to escape paid employment in itself has been somewhat misguided in my case.
I don’t see this as a problem with the philosophy or jacob/MMM. I think a lot of the posters on the forum have avoided this pitfall. But for some of us, FI can become an excuse for conditional living, where we avoid to grow and live fuller lives because of the need for sacrifice at the altar of FI. For me, FI was a reason to be complacent in the office, because unlike the other suckers I would be out of the rigged game soon. And a weekend stuck in front of a screen was a success because I spent almost nothing. As I said, I don’t think our dear cult leaders would endorse this, but it made for a nice rationalization of me bowing to my fears and laziness. It also saved me from having to think about what I wanted in life. I had the quest for FI, what could be more meaningful or make life richer? Only thing is, had I continued down that path, it would have been a life of leisure in front of a laptop browsing forums. Not a very rich one.
Thinking about what I want in life, it has more to do with stating my desires to bosses, friends and loved ones than with having more financial resources at my disposal. Looking back at the last few years, my low points have been at work. But so have many of the high points. And with some perspective, the low points do not seem unavoidable. A lot of them are a direct result of my complacency - having to learn neglected skills fast under pressure, not saying no and being overwhelmed, not communicating my displeasure. And a lot of the high points could have been even sweeter. The stretches of unstructured leisure were nice enough, but they do not rate very highly when compared to finishing projects, both professional and personal, and increasing skill.
As I have said, I am likely to reduce my hours in the coming years to improve balance. But I will also attempt to craft my career with all means at my disposal. Sometimes I’ll fail and be forced to cave. But sometimes I will succeed and bask in the agency. Perhaps for some this is truly impossible, but in my particular circumstances I appear to be lucky enough to influence my day-to-day. It’d be a shame to waste it.
When I started out, my aim was mostly to avoid financial disaster. I don’t really remember noticing the financial crisis as it happened (our corner of the world had a rough year and then bounced back basically, and I was a student at the time so the chaos in the labour market didn’t affect me) but I think it made an impression in the years after. I was born into a local economic crisis, so taken together I guess these two events have imbued me with something of a depression era mentality. My temperament is generally a bit on the neurotic side, always looking for potential hidden issues with everything, so perhaps I would have been much the same even without these particular formative episodes. No matter why, I wanted financial stability.
As of now, I could handle a halving of the value of the housing market and probably around 3-4 years of concurrent unemployment for both me and my girlfriend. So basically a Great Depression anew. There are certainly scenarios that would have us wind up in dire straits - depositors insurance collapsing, nationalization of financial assets, hyperinflation etc. We would be decently positioned to flee, though. And the bigger lesson is that you can’t really hedge these types of events completely. I will continue to increase my resilience by becoming more self-sufficient, adding skills and increasing my network, but the fact is that I’ve already achieved most the the security I will ever have by now.
That is in the short to medium term. In the long term I also need to prepare for retirement. Because of our low expenses (not by ERE standards, but compared to the rest of society), we might be OK with whatever we get from our version of SS and superannuation, but I think that is a bit to risky. So for the long term, FI is certainly a worthwhile goal. With our SR, WR and current NW, that’s due in 15-20 years depending on market return, with constant salary/expenses.
After a while I discovered ERE/MMM, and a second motivation crystallized itself, namely freedom from work. I had fantasized about this previously, but now it suddenly seemed attainable. A lot of the changes to my life that I have made have been extremely valuable - where I live, how I move about, what I eat, how I spend my free time, what qualities I look for in other people etc. Regardless of finances, these choices have immensely increased my quality of life, and I would not undo them even if I found myself with unlimited assets/cash flow. But I think the quest to escape paid employment in itself has been somewhat misguided in my case.
I don’t see this as a problem with the philosophy or jacob/MMM. I think a lot of the posters on the forum have avoided this pitfall. But for some of us, FI can become an excuse for conditional living, where we avoid to grow and live fuller lives because of the need for sacrifice at the altar of FI. For me, FI was a reason to be complacent in the office, because unlike the other suckers I would be out of the rigged game soon. And a weekend stuck in front of a screen was a success because I spent almost nothing. As I said, I don’t think our dear cult leaders would endorse this, but it made for a nice rationalization of me bowing to my fears and laziness. It also saved me from having to think about what I wanted in life. I had the quest for FI, what could be more meaningful or make life richer? Only thing is, had I continued down that path, it would have been a life of leisure in front of a laptop browsing forums. Not a very rich one.
Thinking about what I want in life, it has more to do with stating my desires to bosses, friends and loved ones than with having more financial resources at my disposal. Looking back at the last few years, my low points have been at work. But so have many of the high points. And with some perspective, the low points do not seem unavoidable. A lot of them are a direct result of my complacency - having to learn neglected skills fast under pressure, not saying no and being overwhelmed, not communicating my displeasure. And a lot of the high points could have been even sweeter. The stretches of unstructured leisure were nice enough, but they do not rate very highly when compared to finishing projects, both professional and personal, and increasing skill.
As I have said, I am likely to reduce my hours in the coming years to improve balance. But I will also attempt to craft my career with all means at my disposal. Sometimes I’ll fail and be forced to cave. But sometimes I will succeed and bask in the agency. Perhaps for some this is truly impossible, but in my particular circumstances I appear to be lucky enough to influence my day-to-day. It’d be a shame to waste it.
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IlliniDave
- Posts: 3876
- Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:46 pm
Re: oldbeyond's journal
Your evolution has parallels to mine. I also started in a quest for more financial resilience that over time morphed into an ER plan. There is a good dollop of truth in what you observe that aggressively pursuing FI can allow one to slip into a hunker-down mode from over-exuberance with regard to clamping down on monetary outflows. It also facilitates an amount of idleness in those of us susceptible to it.
At a certain point I realized that the purpose of my stash was to serve me rather than my purpose being ultimately to serve the stash. I also learned that it would be good for me to begin to envision specifics about my actualized FI life/lifestyle, and begin to integrate some of those things into my pre-actualized FI life. Together those things are helping to establish some sense of purpose beyond hoarding wealth.
There's no reason not to shape your present work life towards what you feel is a better version of it. And no reason not to do the same with your leisure time.
At a certain point I realized that the purpose of my stash was to serve me rather than my purpose being ultimately to serve the stash. I also learned that it would be good for me to begin to envision specifics about my actualized FI life/lifestyle, and begin to integrate some of those things into my pre-actualized FI life. Together those things are helping to establish some sense of purpose beyond hoarding wealth.
There's no reason not to shape your present work life towards what you feel is a better version of it. And no reason not to do the same with your leisure time.
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classical_Liberal
- Posts: 2283
- Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:05 am
Re: oldbeyond's journal
I think you've made a very important realization. Life isn't about goal start point "A" and end point "B", its about the process between those two points.
I think on this forum we are very much overly focused on the end goal, less so with the process to reaching it. I'm certainly very guilty of this.
I think on this forum we are very much overly focused on the end goal, less so with the process to reaching it. I'm certainly very guilty of this.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
I tend to write headings for different parts of my life. I try to make the whole > (sum/product) of the different spheres and make sure my goals are aligned, but I need some structure that chops the chaos of life into manageable pieces.
There are different ways of looking at the whole. It can be conceived as a simple sum. In that case, moving from 9 to 10 in one category (the numbers/scale obviously being arbitrary) is the same as moving from 1 to 2 in another. Or, it's some kind of product where the impact is much greater if you move from bad to ok than from very good to great. One could certainly create many different models that were all providing some truth, and debate their respective merits (and of course how you define and weigh the different spheres is also arbitrary). But it seems to me the product route is the way to go.
Looking at myself, what I usually call the MENTAL sphere is obviously dragging the whole down (half empty), and that's where the potential for great improvement lies (half full). The other spheres, as I've defined them, are OK to good at this point, even if none of them really achieve greatness. But the MENTAL part of my life is, if not terrible, bad. There are a few separate issues I'm dealing with (anxiety, self-esteem, meaning), but the most acute problem (that also feeds into the others) is my poor sleep. There have been periods of relative stability, but overall I've struggled with sleep since my teens. Right now, the last six months have been bad, and the last few weeks terrible, with sleepless nights and accumulating fatigue that is starting to alter my personality and restrict my life (energy is too low for a lot of activities by this point). So short term, I need to get out of this bout of insomnia, and medium term I need to to everything I can to improve sleep quality, making sure that my lows are much higher. With good sleep, I should mellow a bit and be able to attack them from a place of (relative) strength.
There are different ways of looking at the whole. It can be conceived as a simple sum. In that case, moving from 9 to 10 in one category (the numbers/scale obviously being arbitrary) is the same as moving from 1 to 2 in another. Or, it's some kind of product where the impact is much greater if you move from bad to ok than from very good to great. One could certainly create many different models that were all providing some truth, and debate their respective merits (and of course how you define and weigh the different spheres is also arbitrary). But it seems to me the product route is the way to go.
Looking at myself, what I usually call the MENTAL sphere is obviously dragging the whole down (half empty), and that's where the potential for great improvement lies (half full). The other spheres, as I've defined them, are OK to good at this point, even if none of them really achieve greatness. But the MENTAL part of my life is, if not terrible, bad. There are a few separate issues I'm dealing with (anxiety, self-esteem, meaning), but the most acute problem (that also feeds into the others) is my poor sleep. There have been periods of relative stability, but overall I've struggled with sleep since my teens. Right now, the last six months have been bad, and the last few weeks terrible, with sleepless nights and accumulating fatigue that is starting to alter my personality and restrict my life (energy is too low for a lot of activities by this point). So short term, I need to get out of this bout of insomnia, and medium term I need to to everything I can to improve sleep quality, making sure that my lows are much higher. With good sleep, I should mellow a bit and be able to attack them from a place of (relative) strength.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
I'm over my acute sleeping problems, but there are still a lot of ground to cover in order to solve, or at least more robustly manage them. Thinking about it more clearly now without the insomnia clouding my brain, and without the frustration and panic of ”no sleep”, I feel it’s quite obvious that it is my anxious habit of continually turning over thoughts in my head, usually in a desperate search for certainty and permance, that keeps me up at night. When I’m not actively engaged in thought, I’m in the chaotic emotional aftermath of it. The desire to avoid pain really is the pain. And this is felt in other parts of my life, too. Basically, I’m a person craving total stability who spends a large chunk of his day mulling over potentially very serious problems (ecological, economical, political, social, cultural). Clearly, something has to give. Logically, there are not too many options:
1. Alter reality - basically solve every issue that would menace humanity. Obviously not an option, really.
2. Alter my perception of reality - basically active ignorance. This seems like a poor and brittle strategy and is perhaps most unworkable for someone with my temperament.
3. Alter my craving for stability. Which is basically what our great ethical and spiritual schools try to teach us. I guess this really is the only option.
This feels like a rather daunting and nebulous task, obviously. I’ve read quite a bit on the subject before - Seneca, quite a bit about daoism/zen, Nietzsche, Peterson etc. I’ve done some CBT before and was quite successful in the defined realm where I applied it. But I’ve never really put in the work to alter my more basic anxieties.
At it’s root, I think it comes down to a lack of humility. I have this sense that I should not have to endure inconvenience and discomfort and that the world should cater to all my needs, without me really having to do or even say anything to aid the process. This leads to me being easily annoyed by any hiccup, both in people or things. Continued failure leads to an inversion of the basic feeling, where I am now uniquely wretched and useless instead. This creates a lot of unnecessary suffering for me and others, and maintains a rut that should never have been.
So what do I do? Journaling helped me a lot with my sleep. The act of having to look at my routine and choices and reflect on them allowed my to cut through a lot of the emotional cobwebs. This will be the first tool I employ - a short written reflection on my day, my emotions, thoughts, actions and passivity. I will keep it simple and concrete as I have a tendency to loose myself in long, ornate musings. Hopefully this will be a first good step.
1. Alter reality - basically solve every issue that would menace humanity. Obviously not an option, really.
2. Alter my perception of reality - basically active ignorance. This seems like a poor and brittle strategy and is perhaps most unworkable for someone with my temperament.
3. Alter my craving for stability. Which is basically what our great ethical and spiritual schools try to teach us. I guess this really is the only option.
This feels like a rather daunting and nebulous task, obviously. I’ve read quite a bit on the subject before - Seneca, quite a bit about daoism/zen, Nietzsche, Peterson etc. I’ve done some CBT before and was quite successful in the defined realm where I applied it. But I’ve never really put in the work to alter my more basic anxieties.
At it’s root, I think it comes down to a lack of humility. I have this sense that I should not have to endure inconvenience and discomfort and that the world should cater to all my needs, without me really having to do or even say anything to aid the process. This leads to me being easily annoyed by any hiccup, both in people or things. Continued failure leads to an inversion of the basic feeling, where I am now uniquely wretched and useless instead. This creates a lot of unnecessary suffering for me and others, and maintains a rut that should never have been.
So what do I do? Journaling helped me a lot with my sleep. The act of having to look at my routine and choices and reflect on them allowed my to cut through a lot of the emotional cobwebs. This will be the first tool I employ - a short written reflection on my day, my emotions, thoughts, actions and passivity. I will keep it simple and concrete as I have a tendency to loose myself in long, ornate musings. Hopefully this will be a first good step.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
I've kept this journal for close to seven years by now, a testament to my failure at extreme FIRE and to the enduring qualities of this forum. In light of this, I thought a recap of the last few years might be in order to observe my situation in a clearer light, assess what, if anything, I’ve done right and get a clearer sense of the future.
Financials are perhaps simultaneously the most boring aspect of my life and the most telling. When I started my journal our household had a net worth of 2x current expenses. Currently it’s around 6x, which isn’t very impressive. For the first ~3 years we were still in school and taking out student loans, so averaged over our working years our net worth has increased by 1x current expenses/year. We’ve had a fair savings rate, but obviously not exceptional. I’ve tried a lot of different investment strategies and learned a lot, without any real major setbacks (not that hard in the current market regime, though). Due us saving up for a down payment, I’ve kept risk down, so we haven’t participated in all the massive gains, but given our parameters I’m quite happy with our returns and my improved investing skills.
Currently we have 1x expenses in cash, almost 2x in securities and 5x expenses in home equity and 2x expenses in (almost 0% interest rate) student debt. I started out doing value investing, but I soon realized that my heart is not in analyzing individual companies. I switched to various attempts at a global permanent portfolio, but the more I thought about it, the more I lost faith in the PP outside of the US, and in bonds for us europeans. After some back and forth I’m currently at an allocation of 30% global index, 10% EM, 10% dividend fund, 10% Russia, 10% local market, 10% global REIT, 15% gold and 5% commodities. All are traded according their 100 DMA. This year my return was 17% with around 6% volatility (note that all figures are in my local currency). My benchmark is buy and hold 100% global index which had double the return this year, but also double the volatility. My portfolio sidestepped the 2018Q4 sell off, so in a longer perspective the relative return has been more favorable. It is being in the market, but having an escape plan ready which helps me sleep better given current valuations. I’m fortunate that I suffer no tax consequences from the trading (basically we have a type of account that you can opt for as a private citizen, where you pay a flat tax on all your holdings).
On the expenses side, we run a tight ship on the strategic front (no car, bicycle/short bus ride to work, bag lunch to work every day, reasonable housing), that allows for quite a bit of slack tactically (dinners out some times, some nice items, concerts and beer) while keeping a savings rate of around 50%, with a decent but not great household income. 2019 JAFI of 8647 scaled by sqrt(2) gives a household spend of roughly 2.5 jacobs (dependent on exchange rates). Looking at our expenses, it’s pretty obvious that the fat to be cut is in shopping (clothes, stuff for the house, books, gardening supplies), eating out (some take out, but also dinners on special occasions) and fun (concerts, beer out with friends, travel). For shopping, it’s often a lack of time paired with weak buying used skills/DIY skills that do us in. For the other categories, we mainly use money to make up for a deficiency in social skills/capital. We’re along for the ride, not steering the ship, and that means that we end up in a fancy restaurant instead of having a potluck with board games. There is some element of status anxiety here too, especially in the dining. Being more active in our social interactions is likely key here, as well as calling ourselves out on our aspirational bullshit. These problem categories have increased quite a bit since we started working so there’s been some lifestyle inflation. On the whole it hasn’t been too bad, and there’s been very little friction between us. Our current situation is sort of a good enough path of least resistance.
For me, reducing spending is important mostly in reducing my footprint, even if I’ll of course enjoy improving our financial situation. Our current lifestyle is reasonably efficient if we steer clear of air travel, mainly because we expend very little energy commuting, live in an apartment and eat mindfully. There is still the fact that our spending helps power the consumer economy, passing on the ammo as it were. I will champion DIY or buying used over the coming year, but in a positive, exploratory way. Hopefully increased skills will translate into lower spending organically. I will also cut back on big arena concerts, as they are quite expensive and my enjoyment of them isn’t that high.
I’ve established myself well in my career, had decent pay increases and learned a lot. I’ve found a niche that gives me some autonomy and is rewarding to me. I’ve followed the advice in ”So Good They Can’t Ignore You” and honed my skills in a particular area, which has paid off. Because it is a niche skill, and not a prestigious one, it hasn’t been to stressful and I’ve managed to also gain some decent experience in other areas of my profession. Due to relatively low wages, high marginal taxes and favorable safety nets and legislation, I’ll likely reduce my hours around 20% if we start a family. This will delay FIRE, but give me the life I’d like to lead. Hopefully it will also make it easier to maintain control over spending.
On the health front, I was quite inactive when I started my journal. I’ve slacked off a bit on cardio lately, but I’m likely in better shape than seven years ago. I’m definitely stronger than I have ever been, even if I’m still a novice in the gym. I had a few false starts, but now I’m following a good full body program, doing deadlifts, bench press et cetera. I’m currently doing 3x8x100 for deadlifts, so while not really strong I’m past the complete noob phase. Over the past year I’ve put on 5 kg while keeping body fat constant, hopefully I can keep my momentum this year and start hitting more meaningful numbers. In absolute terms this isn’t very impressive, but I’m very happy with my progress and in having changed my beliefs about myself - I feel like an active, healthy person now which is a big change.
The mental/spiritual front is perhaps where I’ve struggled the most. I am anxious by nature, which led me to withdraw and get stuck in my head in my youth. I do not withdraw as much anymore, and I’ve tackled a lot of stressful situations over the last few years. Having gotten through them is an achievement in itself in some ways, but I feel I’ve done too little on the strategic front to change my mental patterns. A lot of the other changes I’ve made (like better diet, health and being more organized) have helped, and I have of course worked on some of my hangups and bad behavior. I’ve focused more on this recently. I keep a journal of my good and bad actions during the day, which is helpful, but I haven’t really made a daily habit out of it yet. I’ve gotten nowhere with meditation, despite having talked and read about it for years, and I struggle with discussing these issues with others. In some sense I think a part of me likes being in the current rut and playing the victim when things inevitably get overwhelming. So what to do? I think making the journaling a daily habit, and also meditating on a daily basis would yield the biggest results. Obviously I need a plan to make this manifest. First, communicating this to my wife. Second, setting aside time for both activities. I will journal and meditate (for ten minutes) right before bed. If I’m unable to, due to social events or the like, I will do them in the morning after instead. And I will of course report on my progress here.
On the social front, things are going well. I’ve been quite good at keeping in touch with family and friends, and I am improving my social skills, if quite slowly. I can handle most situations fine, including high pressure ones, but I do come off as somewhat weird some times. Then again, I am weird, so I think I should set my expectations accordingly. Currently, I feel that being more active and organizing events or suggesting activities is something I could improve. Both to give back and to have more control over the activities, which also influences spending (se above). This would push me out of my comfort zone, but not too far.
When it comes to education, in a wide sense of the word, I feel I’ve done well. I’ve learned a lot about economics/finance, ecology, philosophy, history, literature, psychology, Chinese, cooking, fitness and nutrition. I’ve learned some about gardening, bike repair, home maintenance/remodeling, programming, baking and outdoorsy stuff. I could still spend more time actively learning and less time passively reading about others achievements, but I have become more active and now spend way less time on my phone. It’s an ongoing process, but I feel I am on the right track. Hopefully I can continue along it during the coming year (and decade).
Happy new year, should anyone have made it this far!
Financials are perhaps simultaneously the most boring aspect of my life and the most telling. When I started my journal our household had a net worth of 2x current expenses. Currently it’s around 6x, which isn’t very impressive. For the first ~3 years we were still in school and taking out student loans, so averaged over our working years our net worth has increased by 1x current expenses/year. We’ve had a fair savings rate, but obviously not exceptional. I’ve tried a lot of different investment strategies and learned a lot, without any real major setbacks (not that hard in the current market regime, though). Due us saving up for a down payment, I’ve kept risk down, so we haven’t participated in all the massive gains, but given our parameters I’m quite happy with our returns and my improved investing skills.
Currently we have 1x expenses in cash, almost 2x in securities and 5x expenses in home equity and 2x expenses in (almost 0% interest rate) student debt. I started out doing value investing, but I soon realized that my heart is not in analyzing individual companies. I switched to various attempts at a global permanent portfolio, but the more I thought about it, the more I lost faith in the PP outside of the US, and in bonds for us europeans. After some back and forth I’m currently at an allocation of 30% global index, 10% EM, 10% dividend fund, 10% Russia, 10% local market, 10% global REIT, 15% gold and 5% commodities. All are traded according their 100 DMA. This year my return was 17% with around 6% volatility (note that all figures are in my local currency). My benchmark is buy and hold 100% global index which had double the return this year, but also double the volatility. My portfolio sidestepped the 2018Q4 sell off, so in a longer perspective the relative return has been more favorable. It is being in the market, but having an escape plan ready which helps me sleep better given current valuations. I’m fortunate that I suffer no tax consequences from the trading (basically we have a type of account that you can opt for as a private citizen, where you pay a flat tax on all your holdings).
On the expenses side, we run a tight ship on the strategic front (no car, bicycle/short bus ride to work, bag lunch to work every day, reasonable housing), that allows for quite a bit of slack tactically (dinners out some times, some nice items, concerts and beer) while keeping a savings rate of around 50%, with a decent but not great household income. 2019 JAFI of 8647 scaled by sqrt(2) gives a household spend of roughly 2.5 jacobs (dependent on exchange rates). Looking at our expenses, it’s pretty obvious that the fat to be cut is in shopping (clothes, stuff for the house, books, gardening supplies), eating out (some take out, but also dinners on special occasions) and fun (concerts, beer out with friends, travel). For shopping, it’s often a lack of time paired with weak buying used skills/DIY skills that do us in. For the other categories, we mainly use money to make up for a deficiency in social skills/capital. We’re along for the ride, not steering the ship, and that means that we end up in a fancy restaurant instead of having a potluck with board games. There is some element of status anxiety here too, especially in the dining. Being more active in our social interactions is likely key here, as well as calling ourselves out on our aspirational bullshit. These problem categories have increased quite a bit since we started working so there’s been some lifestyle inflation. On the whole it hasn’t been too bad, and there’s been very little friction between us. Our current situation is sort of a good enough path of least resistance.
For me, reducing spending is important mostly in reducing my footprint, even if I’ll of course enjoy improving our financial situation. Our current lifestyle is reasonably efficient if we steer clear of air travel, mainly because we expend very little energy commuting, live in an apartment and eat mindfully. There is still the fact that our spending helps power the consumer economy, passing on the ammo as it were. I will champion DIY or buying used over the coming year, but in a positive, exploratory way. Hopefully increased skills will translate into lower spending organically. I will also cut back on big arena concerts, as they are quite expensive and my enjoyment of them isn’t that high.
I’ve established myself well in my career, had decent pay increases and learned a lot. I’ve found a niche that gives me some autonomy and is rewarding to me. I’ve followed the advice in ”So Good They Can’t Ignore You” and honed my skills in a particular area, which has paid off. Because it is a niche skill, and not a prestigious one, it hasn’t been to stressful and I’ve managed to also gain some decent experience in other areas of my profession. Due to relatively low wages, high marginal taxes and favorable safety nets and legislation, I’ll likely reduce my hours around 20% if we start a family. This will delay FIRE, but give me the life I’d like to lead. Hopefully it will also make it easier to maintain control over spending.
On the health front, I was quite inactive when I started my journal. I’ve slacked off a bit on cardio lately, but I’m likely in better shape than seven years ago. I’m definitely stronger than I have ever been, even if I’m still a novice in the gym. I had a few false starts, but now I’m following a good full body program, doing deadlifts, bench press et cetera. I’m currently doing 3x8x100 for deadlifts, so while not really strong I’m past the complete noob phase. Over the past year I’ve put on 5 kg while keeping body fat constant, hopefully I can keep my momentum this year and start hitting more meaningful numbers. In absolute terms this isn’t very impressive, but I’m very happy with my progress and in having changed my beliefs about myself - I feel like an active, healthy person now which is a big change.
The mental/spiritual front is perhaps where I’ve struggled the most. I am anxious by nature, which led me to withdraw and get stuck in my head in my youth. I do not withdraw as much anymore, and I’ve tackled a lot of stressful situations over the last few years. Having gotten through them is an achievement in itself in some ways, but I feel I’ve done too little on the strategic front to change my mental patterns. A lot of the other changes I’ve made (like better diet, health and being more organized) have helped, and I have of course worked on some of my hangups and bad behavior. I’ve focused more on this recently. I keep a journal of my good and bad actions during the day, which is helpful, but I haven’t really made a daily habit out of it yet. I’ve gotten nowhere with meditation, despite having talked and read about it for years, and I struggle with discussing these issues with others. In some sense I think a part of me likes being in the current rut and playing the victim when things inevitably get overwhelming. So what to do? I think making the journaling a daily habit, and also meditating on a daily basis would yield the biggest results. Obviously I need a plan to make this manifest. First, communicating this to my wife. Second, setting aside time for both activities. I will journal and meditate (for ten minutes) right before bed. If I’m unable to, due to social events or the like, I will do them in the morning after instead. And I will of course report on my progress here.
On the social front, things are going well. I’ve been quite good at keeping in touch with family and friends, and I am improving my social skills, if quite slowly. I can handle most situations fine, including high pressure ones, but I do come off as somewhat weird some times. Then again, I am weird, so I think I should set my expectations accordingly. Currently, I feel that being more active and organizing events or suggesting activities is something I could improve. Both to give back and to have more control over the activities, which also influences spending (se above). This would push me out of my comfort zone, but not too far.
When it comes to education, in a wide sense of the word, I feel I’ve done well. I’ve learned a lot about economics/finance, ecology, philosophy, history, literature, psychology, Chinese, cooking, fitness and nutrition. I’ve learned some about gardening, bike repair, home maintenance/remodeling, programming, baking and outdoorsy stuff. I could still spend more time actively learning and less time passively reading about others achievements, but I have become more active and now spend way less time on my phone. It’s an ongoing process, but I feel I am on the right track. Hopefully I can continue along it during the coming year (and decade).
Happy new year, should anyone have made it this far!
Re: oldbeyond's journal
word.
When I was reading your thoughts about the need to address your craving for stability, I thought of the book "Focusing" by Eugene Gendlin. It's old, so used copies of it are still around and they're cheap. You can also find an epub on the internet if you're not from a country where the book is accessible. He teaches a way to introspect that really helped me and that I think might really help you because you seem to be stuck how I get stuck: in the fighting-against. You say you shouldn't fight against uncertainty, but then end up atruggling against the struggle against uncertainty
. Which is something I also do sometimes. The book will help with this also. It's essentially a way to introspect - you can combine it with journaling quite effectively imo.oldbeyond wrote: ↑Thu Jan 02, 2020 8:13 am
The mental/spiritual front is perhaps where I’ve struggled the most. I am anxious by nature, which led me to withdraw and get stuck in my head in my youth. I do not withdraw as much anymore, and I’ve tackled a lot of stressful situations over the last few years. Having gotten through them is an achievement in itself in some ways, but I feel I’ve done too little on the strategic front to change my mental patterns. A lot of the other changes I’ve made (like better diet, health and being more organized) have helped, and I have of course worked on some of my hangups and bad behavior. I’ve focused more on this recently. I keep a journal of my good and bad actions during the day, which is helpful, but I haven’t really made a daily habit out of it yet. I’ve gotten nowhere with meditation, despite having talked and read about it for years, and I struggle with discussing these issues with others. In some sense I think a part of me likes being in the current rut and playing the victim when things inevitably get overwhelming. So what to do? I think making the journaling a daily habit, and also meditating on a daily basis would yield the biggest results. Obviously I need a plan to make this manifest. First, communicating this to my wife. Second, setting aside time for both activities. I will journal and meditate (for ten minutes) right before bed. If I’m unable to, due to social events or the like, I will do them in the morning after instead. And I will of course report on my progress here.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
Thanks for the recommendation @ertyu! I read the book and it actually really helped me, especially the simplicity of it and the lack of esoteric terms. There is a tendency in me to get dazzled be the terminology and how clever I am for "knowing" a few words of sanskrit or whatever. Not to disparage eastern wisdom, it's more the tendency in me of feeding my ego with "being sophisticated".
I've experienced the shifts he describes before, when I battled intensely with some issues and felt knots untie in my body when I finally got somewhere. Right after reading the book I focused consistently for a few minutes every day and it helped, things shifted. Not massive advances but steady progress. Life became busier and the habit died in it's infancy, but I usually need a few tries to make a change stick, so I will get back on the horse.
I've been slacking off with journaling too, but I have been a bit more consistent than with the focusing. I keep it very brief, but being forced to reflect on my behavior helps me adjust my actions before I spiral out of control too much. It gives me a better sense of the terrain, but I need deeper interactions with myself to be able to navigate it properly.
I've experienced the shifts he describes before, when I battled intensely with some issues and felt knots untie in my body when I finally got somewhere. Right after reading the book I focused consistently for a few minutes every day and it helped, things shifted. Not massive advances but steady progress. Life became busier and the habit died in it's infancy, but I usually need a few tries to make a change stick, so I will get back on the horse.
I've been slacking off with journaling too, but I have been a bit more consistent than with the focusing. I keep it very brief, but being forced to reflect on my behavior helps me adjust my actions before I spiral out of control too much. It gives me a better sense of the terrain, but I need deeper interactions with myself to be able to navigate it properly.
Re: oldbeyond's journal
QUICK UPDATE ON EXPENSES
The first third of the year is now past us. I won't be spending too much time doing detailed expense breakdowns, but I think it's valuable to me to increase accountability somewhat, as I can be quite adept at rationalizing my failures.
Our budget is set at just above 2 JAFI scaled for household size (by sqrt(N), in our case sqrt(2)). This isn't a number that would represent the end of my struggle to improve, but it is a near-term goal to strive for. I'm using the automatic categorization from my bank, which isn't perfect, but works well enough for my purposes
Thus far this year, housing expenses and "household services" (basically insurance, phone bill, iCloud storage and union dues) are in line with the budget. "Eating out" and "entertainment" are quite a bit below budget. Quite a bit of this is corona, but we've also been more disciplined in avoiding take-out and having people over instead of going out (Jan and Feb).
Having the neutral and good categories accounted for, it's time to move on to the problematic ones.
Food: 15% above budget. We are better stocked now than we where before covid, we had a decent pantry even then but some weak spots have been improved upon since. The freezer has also been cleansed of some low-value stuff (all eaten, of course) and stocked with protein and vegetables. So some of this is due to increased stockpiling. A bit of it also results from me eating breakfast at home, drinking my own coffee throughout the week and missing out on a couple of free lunches at work every month. Ways to improve this would be cutting down on some expensive items (salmon, dairy, some more expensive condiments, chips, chocolate and ice cream), forgoing buying some stuff organic, eating more meals based on dry goods (the proverbial rice and beans).
Transportation: 67% above budget. Which looks bad. Included in this is a new (to me) bike for $300* and a front-loading of a lot of train trips in January (not due to prescience, but because it worked out that way). Due to the bike we will break the budget, but I could simply have treated it as a balance sheet event and added depreciation every month to my expenses instead. That seems overkill though. Basically we're following the plan, with me biking a lot (more with the new bike, 21 more gears helps a lot in hilly terrain), my wife getting a monthly buss pass and then a few train trips and car rentals throughout the year. We might be getting a car, which would increase our spending here (around 10% of expenses according to budget).
"Health and beauty": (healthcare, haircuts, pharmacy etc): 43% above budget. Mainly due to medical issues popping up (nothing serious). Ways to improve would mainly be to cut my own hair (or have my wife help me do it). The other stuff is likely some of the last spending I'd touch.
Shopping: this is "stuff in various forms". 15% above a pretty generous budget. This category represents around 13% of our spending according to the budget and is likely where there is the most fat to cut. Looking through the data, most of it has been spent on clothes (sweaters, shirts, t-shirts), exercise equipment and clothes (pull up-bar, medicine ball, dumbbell, shaker, pants, t-shirts), stuff for the home (new cushions for our outdoor sofa, art prints + a frame, water storage) and books (some paper back mystery novels, a reference book, some novels I've been eyeing for a time bought used) and gardening supplies (plants, compost, pots). There are also some misc stuff and gifts. Going through all this and writing it up, nothing stands out as being egregiously ill-advised; I don't really regret any of the purchases and they're all in use.
I think I need to pursue different strategies for different parts of this category. For clothes (I'm already pretty good at determining quality and buying on sales) - doing without, more buying used (perhaps bundles?), learning some altering skills. Exercise equipment - for some things, DIY might be possible. Stuff for the home - DIY, more minimalist aesthetic, buying more used. Books - using the library more, perhaps used tablet and project Gutenberg for older stuff, swapping books (there's a table at my gym where you're free to take and leave stuff, I should start using that), borrowing from friends and family, selling some old ones. Gardening - planting more from seed, composting/worm box, DIY pots/containers/watering systems. In general, selling more unused stuff and use the money for new purchases.
*the bike was something where I had previously underinvested, with the old, somewhat unreliable and not too incline-friendly one limiting my range and having me rely on public transportation a lot more, where I pay by the ride.
The first third of the year is now past us. I won't be spending too much time doing detailed expense breakdowns, but I think it's valuable to me to increase accountability somewhat, as I can be quite adept at rationalizing my failures.
Our budget is set at just above 2 JAFI scaled for household size (by sqrt(N), in our case sqrt(2)). This isn't a number that would represent the end of my struggle to improve, but it is a near-term goal to strive for. I'm using the automatic categorization from my bank, which isn't perfect, but works well enough for my purposes
Thus far this year, housing expenses and "household services" (basically insurance, phone bill, iCloud storage and union dues) are in line with the budget. "Eating out" and "entertainment" are quite a bit below budget. Quite a bit of this is corona, but we've also been more disciplined in avoiding take-out and having people over instead of going out (Jan and Feb).
Having the neutral and good categories accounted for, it's time to move on to the problematic ones.
Food: 15% above budget. We are better stocked now than we where before covid, we had a decent pantry even then but some weak spots have been improved upon since. The freezer has also been cleansed of some low-value stuff (all eaten, of course) and stocked with protein and vegetables. So some of this is due to increased stockpiling. A bit of it also results from me eating breakfast at home, drinking my own coffee throughout the week and missing out on a couple of free lunches at work every month. Ways to improve this would be cutting down on some expensive items (salmon, dairy, some more expensive condiments, chips, chocolate and ice cream), forgoing buying some stuff organic, eating more meals based on dry goods (the proverbial rice and beans).
Transportation: 67% above budget. Which looks bad. Included in this is a new (to me) bike for $300* and a front-loading of a lot of train trips in January (not due to prescience, but because it worked out that way). Due to the bike we will break the budget, but I could simply have treated it as a balance sheet event and added depreciation every month to my expenses instead. That seems overkill though. Basically we're following the plan, with me biking a lot (more with the new bike, 21 more gears helps a lot in hilly terrain), my wife getting a monthly buss pass and then a few train trips and car rentals throughout the year. We might be getting a car, which would increase our spending here (around 10% of expenses according to budget).
"Health and beauty": (healthcare, haircuts, pharmacy etc): 43% above budget. Mainly due to medical issues popping up (nothing serious). Ways to improve would mainly be to cut my own hair (or have my wife help me do it). The other stuff is likely some of the last spending I'd touch.
Shopping: this is "stuff in various forms". 15% above a pretty generous budget. This category represents around 13% of our spending according to the budget and is likely where there is the most fat to cut. Looking through the data, most of it has been spent on clothes (sweaters, shirts, t-shirts), exercise equipment and clothes (pull up-bar, medicine ball, dumbbell, shaker, pants, t-shirts), stuff for the home (new cushions for our outdoor sofa, art prints + a frame, water storage) and books (some paper back mystery novels, a reference book, some novels I've been eyeing for a time bought used) and gardening supplies (plants, compost, pots). There are also some misc stuff and gifts. Going through all this and writing it up, nothing stands out as being egregiously ill-advised; I don't really regret any of the purchases and they're all in use.
I think I need to pursue different strategies for different parts of this category. For clothes (I'm already pretty good at determining quality and buying on sales) - doing without, more buying used (perhaps bundles?), learning some altering skills. Exercise equipment - for some things, DIY might be possible. Stuff for the home - DIY, more minimalist aesthetic, buying more used. Books - using the library more, perhaps used tablet and project Gutenberg for older stuff, swapping books (there's a table at my gym where you're free to take and leave stuff, I should start using that), borrowing from friends and family, selling some old ones. Gardening - planting more from seed, composting/worm box, DIY pots/containers/watering systems. In general, selling more unused stuff and use the money for new purchases.
*the bike was something where I had previously underinvested, with the old, somewhat unreliable and not too incline-friendly one limiting my range and having me rely on public transportation a lot more, where I pay by the ride.