the animal's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
slowtraveler
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by slowtraveler » Fri Jul 19, 2019 1:10 am

Thanks Ego, I'm happier here, you're right. Since my move, I've never considered moving back to USA. Colombia, Brazil, or the previously mentioned countries in Asia are my backups. You bring up good points.

Regarding the first of Ego's points, the way that women have a higher market value in the west, you're switching to be the one of higher market value. You're exotic here and women seem to outnumber men.

The second of Ego's points is very real. A work permit will solve this easily in every country mentioned.

The other option is Visa runs every 1-12 months depending on how well you've planned. In Thailand, an Ed Visa will cost about 1000usd per year but travel around the country is then more difficult. In Vietnam, a 1 year Visa is a couple hundred usd. Then you do a border run with the visa paper work ready after the year. Thailand is the only country that may hassle you about staying too long with Visa runs.

If this happens, slow travel. Do 3 months in Thailand, 3 in Taiwan, 3 in Thailand, 3 in Vietnam, etc. You can do this with your girl indefinitely.

Thailand also has a 20 year visa for about 30,000usd but it's a last resort. You can do 3 years of education visas first to see if you like it. After those 3 years are over, you can teach English, translate, work as a guide with your own company, or volunteer instead of paying the big bucks. This assumes you choose Thailand. Other countries are much easier Visa wise, just a border run every 3 months.

Gocurrycracker has talked about some of this staying in Taiwan long term with his wife and son. It seems many stay here even after finding their dream girl. The lifestyle is more relaxed while also being more stimulating due to acclimating to a new culture that is much more community and family-oriented.

bigato
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by bigato » Fri Jul 19, 2019 4:22 am

Damn slowtraveler, your pitch is so freaking good that if you don't convince him, I don't think anything will. Now I want to know the region hahaha

rube
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by rube » Fri Jul 19, 2019 6:59 am

Slowtraveller, you almost convinced me to go. Especially because I know and like the region. But I think my DW won't agree :lol: .

I do agree though that it might be better for theanimal to go to a region where the m/f ratio is better, even if just for a certain period/trial/new adventure. But also take into account the comments from Ego as they are spot on imo.

7Wannabe5
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 » Fri Jul 19, 2019 7:33 am

All kidding aside, I very much agree with Ego's take. I have experience with serious cross-cultural relationships and living in a situation where the male to female ratio was very off-kilter. Another very important thing to consider is that places with relatively more men will have more masculine energy and places with relatively more women will have more feminine energy. And when the ratios are really out of whack, this energy will be really out of whack too.

I attended an engineering college in a remote northern setting for two of the cutest (19-21) years of my life, and although on one occasion I was literally picked up by a horde of young men and carried over their heads for the length of a city block, I don't think I was formally asked out on a date once in the entire two years. Since my parents lived in another college town where the M-F ratio was balanced, and that is where I spent my semester and summer breaks, I had clear compare and contrast which offered unexpected according to the numbers result that I would get much more attention from men in the second location, and in retrospect, I think this was because I was in more fitting surrounding for me in that locale.

You and SlowTraveler are both great kids, but you are very different. SlowTraveler is a self-aware sensualist. He enjoys massage, special food delicacies, and a lush tropical environment. He used to enjoy smoking a lot of pot. He maybe should have lived in the era of Coleridge. Is that you?

IOW, if you imagine a continuum running from rural Alaska to Thailand combined with a matrix of M/F ratios and masculine to feminine energies, my gut pick would be to drop you in Colorado.

Kriegsspiel
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by Kriegsspiel » Fri Jul 19, 2019 7:50 am

7Wannabe5 wrote:
Fri Jul 19, 2019 7:33 am
AoM had an interesting podcast with Jon Birger, author of Date-onomics, about the effects of skewed sex ratios. He said a lot of good things about Utah.

prognastat
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by prognastat » Fri Jul 19, 2019 12:30 pm

theanimal wrote:
Thu Jul 18, 2019 10:06 pm
The majority of my friend group is women so I've got that going for me. They've tried and thought of setting me up before but there has been zero single friends/acquaintances of theirs they could think of. There really aren't that many single women up here. It really might be time to try somewhere else for a while..
I think you've got your answer right there. You have trouble finding potential partners and despite having multiple female friends they have trouble finding you eligible partners.

That pretty clearly indicates that your potential dating pool is probably very limited where you currently are.

suomalainen
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by suomalainen » Sat Jul 20, 2019 3:21 pm

Forget Utah. Too many mormons and unlike other religious chicks, mormon chicks are...not the chicks you're looking for. Or maybe the non-mormon m/f ratio is good?

But @animal, I will say that reading your initial post about the self-doubt was a little..."off character". Maybe that has an impact on your dating life, maybe it doesn't, but by far the surest impact on your dating life has to be the m/f ratio. http://money.com/money/4072951/college- ... p-culture/ If your romantic drought is having that much of an impact on you that it's causing you to think poorly of yourself (starting a vicious spiral), much like working a shitty job for too long may result in burnout, then I agree that changing locations may be what you need. Yes, you'll be sacrificing some of the benefits that Alaska has, but...which is worth more to you? Dating is a numbers game. There's a lid for every pot, but if you've got 10 pots for every lid, finding that lid will be very difficult.

Kriegsspiel
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by Kriegsspiel » Sat Jul 20, 2019 4:43 pm

suomalainen wrote:
Sat Jul 20, 2019 3:21 pm
Forget Utah. Too many mormons and unlike other religious chicks, mormon chicks are...not the chicks you're looking for. Or maybe the non-mormon m/f ratio is good?
His point, in the podcast at least, was that Utah Mormons have a skewed sex ratio which leads to female Mormons doing their best to be attractive to males.

Jason
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason » Sat Jul 20, 2019 5:17 pm

In the Jeffs household, that was called "getting ready for dinner."

suomalainen
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by suomalainen » Sat Jul 20, 2019 5:19 pm

Ah. Presumably that does not include jettisoning the mormonism...which would make them most attractive to males. Or at least @theanimal.

theanimal
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by theanimal » Sat Jul 20, 2019 5:56 pm

I appreciate all the replies and feedback. tried to get my mind right since that first post and did a ~48 hr fast to clear things up a bit. That post was admittedly off character as suo stated and coming from a moment of weakness. My day to day isn't to the point where I'm moping around bemoaning my current state. Most days are pretty good and I may think about wanting a GF or desiring someone else for just brief moments here and there. When I'm alone for extended periods, that's when I start to get down. It's something I've been working on mitigating and dealing with since living in the cabin but I still have some work to do to avoid those patterns that lead me down the slippery swamps of sadness.

I have come to the similar conclusions as 7w5 did in her post. I don't think living in Thailand full time suits who I am or what I find particularly interesting. That being said, I wouldn't rule off an extended visit as somewhat of a test run. Making the full time move there doesn't sit well at the moment. There's too much that I want to do here. I'm not really into the idea of finding super religious girls either. I do acknowledge the point that currently I'm at a serious disadvantage in terms of the m/f ratio. I did like that podcast @kspiel linked to and find it to hold true for my current area. There is almost 0 hook up culture and it is very monogamous. In terms of moving, I still don't have strong desires yet to leave Alaska, instead potentially moving to Anchorage at some point in the future. It's no Utah or Thailand but it is a much larger market than Fairbanks and much more of an urban area. We'll see though, still in the early stages of the thought process with this one.

Jason
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason » Sun Jul 21, 2019 9:35 am

What you are really talking about here is a mail order bride without an explicit transaction. Men have found that moving to the originating country is a better methodology as opposed to the woman moving to the destination country because its more economical and its better for the woman to remain in her culture. It actually increases the chances that the marriage will be successful. I had a "friend" who had his bride come to America and it was a nightmare for him. He was essentially her get out of jail free card. That's the risk you take. It's better to be the hen in the chicken house than to bring a chicken into a hen house.

I understand that the Animal's issue is purely demographics and under normal conditions this wouldn't be a problem. If you can say "I can fly an airplane" but cannot in turn get laid, extenuating circumstances have to be in play. Everyone knows chicks dig pilots. Thinking upon that, isn't Russia an option? One thing Sarah Palin taught the world is that its close to Alaska. Although I guess you have to consider the source.

Suo obviously knows about Mormon girls so you have to value his opinion. But my thought was, based on their specific religious upbringing, you could marry a group of them and over time, pick your favorite one. Assuming other men in the region have the same problem as you, they will be a valuable commodity and you could trade them for I don't know, pelts or plane fuel or whatever resources are of similar value up there. I have to think other civilizations developed in this manner considering mankind's overall depravity. Puts a new spin on Alaska pipe line come to think of it. And I would think they would more easily acclimate to the Alaska tundra than Taiwanese women being that they are used to wearing long, denim dresses and not opposed to churning butter and engaging in other types of harsh and challenging environment activities.

ffj
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by ffj » Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:11 am

@Jason

Holy shit, that last paragraph. :lol:

Jason
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by Jason » Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:56 am

Factoring in take off landings (including three stops for refueling) my calculations show that a Cessna 182 can travel from Utah to Alaska in approx. 20 1/2 hours holding four people, three passengers. I'm thinking weight capacity could be an issue with the Alaska men as I imagine them to be a hearty bunch, so maybe you're down to three under certain circumstances. The Animal solves not only his problem but through the exchange of resources scarce to two communities, develops a side hustle that could turn into a sustainable business.

I'm thinking "Big Love Airline."

suomalainen
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by suomalainen » Sun Jul 21, 2019 9:56 pm

Yeah, let's just say that mormon girls are not like mormongirlz. And as for butter churning and denim dresses, maybe in the south of UT, but not in Salt Lake.

ZAFCorrection
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by ZAFCorrection » Mon Jul 29, 2019 12:15 pm

Late to the party, but having spent a few years dating in SLC as a non-Mormon, it's kind of a shit show here. Unless you are dealing with someone who has a foot outside the church (usually associated with religion/life burnout), you aren't going to have a chance with Mormon women. The LDS culture particularly and the Salt Lake area generally is also pretty staid; adults here still think knock-knock jokes are funny for instance.

Salt Lake also seems to attract more than its fair share of free spirit/alternative lifestyle types, so there might be more chance to find a woman who would be cool with ERE. Though, in my experience, the people are mostly just outdoorsy burnouts with no money or plan.

theanimal
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by theanimal » Wed Aug 07, 2019 10:32 pm

Fitness has been a really big part of my life the past 3 years. I've exercised regularly (5-6 days a week) for over a decade now but it took on a greater importance when I lived in the Arctic and had a lot of time on my hands. There's almost no words to describe the amount of pleasure I have in building a system (my body) that can do whatever I challenge it with. Stuff that makes almost all other people sore has no effect on me and I can do whatever I want without worrying if I'm physically ready for it or have to plan in advance. The mental hardness that comes from doing hard things and constantly conditioning is also a major component. Both in improving my day to day attitude/mood and when it comes to dealing with situations that have a lot of variables. And getting a feeling of winning something for the day certainly doesn't hurt matters.

Recently, I've been really into the Keith Weber's kettlebell training program and incorporating that into other things I do. Challenges are nice too in the fact that it enforces discipline and keeps things fresh. I had a hard time last year with maintaining the level of fitness I wanted to while working in the field. This year is completely different. Mainly due to doing more work with kettlebells. However, I also challenged myself to do 100 burpees (actual w/ push up) every day for the entirety of the field season (I think I started a week and a half late). I haven't been perfect so far, missing 7 days out of the past 51, meaning I've done 4500 burpees over the past ~7 weeks. I have exactly one month and ideally 3000 burpees to go... Another thing my roommate and I have done is institute a toll for every time we enter/leave our living quarters (RV). The toll is 5 pull ups. This is more recent but has resulted in at least an additional ~40-50 pull ups a day. All in all, I'm fairly pleased with my fitness levels this summer, they are not ideal, but far from poor or lacking.

If anyone has any suggestions for challenges or anything of the sort please do not hesitate to reply! Always interested in trying something new.

FBeyer
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by FBeyer » Thu Aug 08, 2019 12:28 pm

With a fitness record like that, I am hesitant to suggest anything at all.
The first thing that always comes to mind is The Secret Service Snatch Test.
200 kettlebell snatches, for time, with a 24kg, 10 minutes. But you are probably waaaaay beyond that at this point in time :D

bigato
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by bigato » Thu Aug 08, 2019 1:03 pm

I'd have some challenges, but they would involve going beyond this current paradigm which you seem to have mastered pretty well. Likely requiring other skilled people which may not be so easily found around there. For example: can you, relying on strength and fitness alone, take a judo practitioner to the ground? Get someone who has at least one or two years of practice. Can you stay on your feet with them on the tatami for 5 minutes, resisting their attempts?

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C40
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Re: the animal's journal

Post by C40 » Thu Aug 08, 2019 5:06 pm

theanimal wrote:
Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:20 pm
.....My nagging feeling is that I'm not taking enough action.
That's probably right.

For some folks, relationships just happen. You see some cute girl at the grocery store smile at you.... You meet a friend of a friend and... and so on. For some, like me, that happens infrequently. Even if you're the kind of person where that does happen sometimes, it's basically not going to happen in Alaska. (I just looked up the female:male ratio and it's not as crazy as I expected - 100:~109. Thought it was much wider. Anyway, if it's not happening, it's not happening)

For other folks - most folks - especially now that so many fewer people are matching up through the old normal ways (through friends, family, being neighbors, et - see this chart. I bought some MTCH stock recently in large part because I saw this, and it went up like 20% already) - you have to actively work for/pursue relationships

Talk with your friends about what they have actually done to get partners. When folks say "it just happened", ask them more specific questions about
the partners they've met that way, about their behavior in public, about how they talk with strangers and new friends, etc. Also focus on the answers from those who made specific and focused efforts in order to get partners.

For me personally, my ratio of first dates to first dates that spawned a serious romantic relationship is probably somewhere over 50:1. And that's women that I actually go out with, not all the cute ones at the grocery store and so on.

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