The Journal of Spartan_Warrior

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[Spartan_Warrior]

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[Chad]

Therefore, I think I will no longer be blogging about early retirement on my author page.

I think this is a good idea. Not just because buying a book could be considered anti-ERE, but because it seems odd for a blog to focus on two or more distinctly dissimilar things. Kind of the opposite of focus. However, that does not mean you can't write about other things on that same blog. I just wouldn't list the other things as subjects in the title or the About page.

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[Spartan_Warrior]

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[Spartan_Warrior]

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[chipmunk]

Objectively, my job situation in terms of salary, benefits, (nominal) flexibility, and even workload (not too stressful--for instance, I've been working full-time for ~5 yrs and have never really worked overtime) would probably be ideal to a lot of the population.

This statement could be applied to my job as well. Someone sat down did a back of the envelope calculation and nearly solved the problem. Now, several years later, there's a team of four people (myself included) spending years tweaking the numbers at an incredibly slow, bureaucratic pace to arrive at the final answer. 80-20 rule? No way, more like 98-2 rule. There's absolutely no room for creativity. I get through the day with walks to the library (I work at a university), book/magazine reading, lots of web surfing. There were several weeks in January where I spent more time working on various personal spreadsheets than on actual "work."

How do you tell when the problem is you and not the job? Have I lost my badass edge, and if so, was it the work that sapped it out of me or something else--perhaps a certain form of self-fulfilling prophecy?

Have you felt this way at other places of employment? If so, then it's you. If not, then it's this job. I have suffered from moderate to extreme boredom at several jobs. I'm inclined to think it's me, not the job. I don't just don't think I'm cut out to work a "regular" job. I suspect you may be the same.

Also, working a "regular" job is a very normal/average thing to do. Keep in mind that the people on this forum are far from normal. This forum is filled with outliers. Does not seem too implausible that this outlier nature should extend to the inability to tolerate the monotony of a 9-5.

[JohnnyH]

Wow... Some of that feels like I wrote it.

What were some of your earlier jobs?... I was lucky enough to have had a diverse amount/type (fast food, construction, manual labor, customer service, call center, grocery store) of jobs before I got the career job... I derived some joy and satisfaction from all except call center. I still get a little from current job, but I am approaching zero.

I have came fairly close to quitting/moving on/retiring a few times and my "edge" came roaring back when I was filled with hope... But when I'm in the trench of routine I think I've developed a sad kind of faith that I won't ever quit/leave. :\

... But it's almost quitting time on Friday (Thursday, four 10s) and I have some ice cold Heineken in the fridge... So I got that going for me, which is nice.

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[George the original one]

Federal employment is made to ensure easy transfers. Just job-hop. At least the constant change of job-hopping would relieve your boredom.

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[jennypenny]

I think this is one of the central issues I was trying to elucidate--the matter of avoiding discomfort. My job situation is demeaning, boring, etc; it's a discomfort. Now I've gotten into the habit of avoiding that discomfort--simply tuning it out all day behind a Kindle screen and iPod earbuds. Biding my time. Waiting for it to go away. This is something of a necessity for the downtime given my other restrictions, but like I said, I'm now to the point that I also avoid and ignore actual assignments that come my way. I avoid any sort of engagement at all.

What worries me is the thought that this coping mechanism--this aversion to discomfort--may be invading other aspects of my life. Dulling me, as it were. Since working full time, I've grown physically softer--that's undeniable--but I fear I've grown mentally softer, too. I'm prone to irritability. Small inconveniences can put me in a black mood for days.

Your comments reminded me of this thread viewtopic.php?f=7&t=4242&hilit=friction . Maybe you need some 'artificial' stimulus?

[chipmunk]

I'm not even given the freedom to take a walk anymore. That's the kind of thing I mean by "Administrivial Hassle-Bomb" and "institutionalized degradation". It's been made perfectly clear to me with no mincing of words that aside from my half hour unpaid lunch break, I am expected to be in the cubicle. No exceptions. (I actually asked if they would be implementing a bathroom hall pass, like middle school. They probably didn't like that either. )

That's rough. I would snap after a while under those conditions. Hopefully the interview goes well and you can get transferred.

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[GeoffK]

Hey Spartan. I'm a fellow writer and a reader of the fiction fugitive. I'm now very close (after 14 years of saving) to retiring to write. And thought I'd give some input. It seems to me you have three main audiences/markets for your author blog. Half of the combined one you started out with, writers who want to live off their writing and may have to live frugally, which you mentioned here you thought was small - I don't think it's that small (look at how many ebooks about how to make a living writing ebooks there are) but that this audience discovering you may be difficult.

Your second audience I think the site could serve (and the one I would most be interested in) is writers who are interested in learning the craft of writing and selling their writing - if you went this way you could cover such topics as Amazon search key words, getting reviews on sites, good reads etc.

But it seems that the audience you are most interested in, the other half of the combined one you started with, is not for writers at all but a blog/site for your readers/fans - if you wanted to appeal here you could mention things like your works, extras like profiling the world or characters from your books, your writing process, inspirations etc. Personal writing stuff so your readers feel they are connecting with you. They'll be interested because they want to know more about the books they like and the world and author behind them. But for the website to be most effective and worth it you have to have more books/works out there. Your using it to promote your books and relase dates and that's great but for your site to be more than just a notice board I think it needs to broaden in scope a bit to cover more of your writing life.

[GandK]

A year or so before I decided that G was right about retiring early being a good idea, I went through a sort of crisis of faith in my career. I saw my entire career in software development spread out before me like sand on a beach, and my job was to build sandcastles. And every so often a big wave would come ashore in the form of a new technology or a new paradigm, and it would wash away something I'd spent several years of my life creating. And it hit me that no matter what I did or how good I was, my work would all be gone within a decade. Scorned even, the way all outdated code seems to be during a rewrite. There are people for whom that would not be a big deal. I'm not one of them.

In the few weeks it took for that impression to really sink in, I went from being enthusiastic and diligent about designing and developing software to hating my job (and utterly sucking at it for some time). I was never able to get over/past that image.

What saved me from despair and career chaos was detachment, pure and simple. I stopped looking at my career at the macro level and started managing it as a funding source for work that WOULD matter: parenthood, ministry, and my writing. When I stopped expecting to find fulfillment at the office, my ship righted itself. I did good work again, albeit for entirely different reasons.

Maybe you need more detachment, not less. Maybe that's because you're attached to something that isn't right for you. Or you could just be a jerk, who knows. But I'm betting on the former.

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[Chad]

@GandK: That's a valid point. A lot of this may be disillusionment on my part. I remember a time when I truly, adamantly believed in the value of federal entitlement programs and government service generally. This has transformed into quite a bit of cognitive dissonance and resentment over time. On that note, probably the best way to transform a liberal into an anarcho-libertarian is to put him in government work.

They really do need to be able to hire and fire easier. The other major thing being that no one wants or can make decisions on anything. All of this ties into taking any positives out of the work.

[Spartan_Warrior]

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[jennypenny]

To be honest, these various writing roadblocks are probably contributing to my discontent as well. Writing is a huge part of my identity. I'm a writer who happens to do government work for a paycheck; that's how I think of myself. It's hard to stay positive about your self-image when you're not having much success at being what you think you are.

This sounds like I'm coming down on you, but I'm not. Just meant as something to consider...

You need to separate the writing from everything else if you truly consider yourself a 'writer' first. Worrying about your job or your blog is a (convenient?) distraction from the dissatisfaction from a perceived lack of progress in your writing. Work on the writing and let the rest take care of itself. If work is only a paycheck, then it doesn't really matter how boring it is. If it were me, I'd only be looking around at other jobs if it meant more time for writing or more money to speed up the FI process. I agree that blogs are great for promoting fiction and developing a fan base, and if you like writing for the blog as a form of recreation, then do it. If you only see it as a way to promote your fiction, then you are burning up mental energy on PR ('cause that's all it is) for work that you haven't even completed yet. If that's the case, you might need to let it go for now and focus on the writing.

I once read an interview with Grisham where he said he used to go into his office very early in the morning and write. He felt that if he got the writing in before his 'job' started, he was satisfied and could go about his day. If he waited to write until the end of the day, it nagged at him that he was using up all of his mental energy on the things that weren't important to him. I suppose it's like someone who wants to get in shape. Standard advice is always to work out first thing in the morning to make it a priority. I'm not saying you need to get up early and write. I'm just pointing out that you should pour your mental energy into writing and stop sweating the small stuff.

/lecture