bigato's journal

Where are you and where are you going?
bigato
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by bigato »

Hey Bankai, I didn't, so thanks for the recommendations! I may read some of them in the future as my own practice brings out more doubts!

jacob
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by jacob »

Would also recommend https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1540052/ if you can get a hold of it---just to get an idea of the various "characters" you're up against. Note that it's already 10yrs old ... but compare perhaps to the Livermore book to see how the process works and how quickly the tools used are changing.

Also https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1905641796/ (if you want to be systematic about it)
And https://www.amazon.com/Way-Turtle-Metho ... 07148664X/ (for a system that famously worked)

But keep in mind ... all these books were written a long time about (10 years is a long time) and while the psychological lessons remain valid, the actual methods have been mostly deprecated. Actually, it's fair to mention that people made fun of me for reading so much as opposed to just sit and stare at the numbers to pull something out of my magic hat. There's something to the idea of treating the market like a [poker] game with unknown rules (and unknown odds) and simply figuring it out by playing a lot yourself rather than getting locked in by reading about others who figured it out.

It might be smart to delay the studying until you actually have figured it out yourself ... and then use the reading to refine your skills. I realize this is completely opposite of standard pedagogical advice. There is an obvious reason for this though.

bigato
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by bigato »

Hahaha now I feel justified because that was actually what I was doing: watching every movie and documentary about it, then started doing it, and only now I am thinking about books :p
I'll keep the recommendations in mind!

bigato
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by bigato »

This weekend of trading training finishes with a BRL -2.00 balance. Not bad as training costs go! The most significant change was that I went from doing lots of trades in a day to doing one or two. Only two out of five days resulted in profits, but the upside in one of them made up for the downside in the others. This one opportunity looked so good that I was very tempted to bet way higher, and I'd have won if I had, but I decided to stick to my rules of trading with at most 300 shares of anything and not using leverage for now. I guess the discipline will pay in the long run. This week I also closed my first experiment on shorting with a ugly loss, where I was pretty sure the stock would tank but the market clearly didn't agree with me. Good lesson on being more humble. Going forward, I may stick to the Golden Butterfly portfolio and the day trade training with little exposure.

The options trading are doing well, and the strategy is solid to the point of being boring. Despite that, I may sell my blue chips stocks after the options I have wrote expire, because although those strategies are working and adding returns to the underlying assets, in order to scale this up, I'd need to give up the golden butterfly portfolio and I'm not wanting to do this. I may keep only one or two hundred share of some of them just for playing around while I study options, but I'm not planning on making real money on this by now.

The food fermentation experiments are a huge success and all of them are working great. I can now make carbonated ginger lemonade, and have an ongoing stock of fermented vegetables to complement my cooking. It was a great addition to my food skills, and they take very little time and skills. Of the most famous fermented vegetable, two that I haven't tried yet are the korean kimchi (I know there are a lot of them that goes by this name, but I mean the most famous), and that thing that japanese do with cucumbers, where they first salt them to remove the water and them put sugar to remove the salt. I don't know the name. Also, I didn't try any kind of beans fermenting as that seems more involved.

bigato
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by bigato »

There were official news today about another restructuring going on in my company through reduction of the number of departments. It said that we should have news about people moving around or having an exit package in the first trimester of 2020. This is great news to me again and it comes at a perfect timing. My leverage is now excellent. Once the conditions for the exit package are published, I’ll have this talk with my boss: “hello boss, how would guys like to have me as a remote worker?”. Since I kept signed to exit last time and didn’t blink, they’ll know I’m not bluffing. They also know more about what I can do. A nice project I’m finishing will go online soon. Also, given savings rate and investments returns, by January or so, I’ll be in the same financial position I’d be had I left with the exit package from last August.

In the event that they say no and I don’t get approved for the exit package this time, I’ll then cross over the hierarchies guiltlessly and talk to the executive I know and other managers to try and find another position that accepts me fully remote. Failing that, I can wait for 2021 or just quit at any time really.

classical_Liberal
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by classical_Liberal »

bigato wrote:
Wed Dec 11, 2019 4:33 pm
In the event that they say no and I don’t get approved for the exit package this time, I’ll then cross over the hierarchies guiltlessly and talk to the executive I know and other managers to try and find another position that accepts me fully remote. Failing that, I can wait for 2021 or just quit at any time really.
Cool, good news, maybe it'll work out this time! If not, the above paragraph tells me you are in a much better mindset than last time to negotiate a better deal for yourself, or just walk if need be. Last time you wanted the exit package, but were pretty wishy-washy on what you'd do if it didn't happen.

Coming from the other side, with not fully FI financials, I can tell you it's well worth it. Getting control of your time and schedule is priceless. I have the option of going back to work any time I want, for as long as I want, earning gross about 10K USD each month. So far it hasn't been worth it to me, if that gives you an idea of how much I like it. :D

bigato
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by bigato »

Thanks, c_L!

mooretrees
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by mooretrees »

Fingers crossed that you get the remote option! But it sounds like you have a plan b and c, so you are in a great situation. Looking forward to hearing the news soon!

bigato
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by bigato »

Thanks mooretrees! You guys will be among the first to know!

So last week the losses from trading were BRL 43. Well within the expected, but not quite a great use of money in the short run. With about that amount of money, I’ve bought the “Trading in Bets” bom recommended by Jacob above, which seems very interesting and a better return on money spent than the trading learning from last week.

Also, I received the book about non conventional edible plants growing in Brazil, which costed me BRL 100. That’s more than 700 pages in photographic paper showing more than 300 edible species, most of them regarded as weeds and the vast majority of which, I had no idea I could eat. This book will serve as a very useful reference in the years to come and add to my food independence and resilience more than day trading earnings could, and for a much lower cost.

Another instance of resources better spent recently are the food fermentation experimentation. It added a whole new dimension of flavor and nutrition to my cuisine, one that money wouldn’t be able to buy me. Also contributes to food resilience. After learning about basic vegetable fermenting, I’m transitioning more interesting stuff like fermented tofu. The fact that I can buy it in quantity and preserve it is very convenient since I don’t have easy access to decent produce in walkable distance.

Today I bought a hand powered cereal mill for BRL 152. I used to have one back in my rural property and it’s so useful in the kitchen. I can even make tofu now myself from the grains. Having seen it being made a few times by my ex wife, I’m confident I can make it myself. Again the preserving will help in that it takes some time to produce and thus it makes sense to produce a reasonable amount each time. I was postponing buying another mill like this because I had this memory that I had one back there in the country. But it has been 6 years since I moved from there, and I’m not even sure if my wife didn’t keep that one to her when we split. And having one adds quality to my food, decreasing the chances that I’ll want to eat out. Yet another example of money better spent than that used to practice day trading.

So you can probably tell by now that I’m not so excited about learning day trading anymore.
Last edited by bigato on Mon Dec 16, 2019 7:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

classical_Liberal
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by classical_Liberal »

bigato wrote:
Mon Dec 16, 2019 6:28 pm
So you can probably tell by not that I’ll not so excited about learning day trading anymore.
:lol: Welcome to the dark side of rapidly changing obsessions.

bigato
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by bigato »

For those that are curious, as of this week I’m officially diagnosed as being in the autism spectrum, in what previously was called asperger syndrome but now is called high functioning autism.

Frita
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by Frita »

How do you feel about your diagnosis?

bigato
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by bigato »

Relieved actually

Scott 2
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by Scott 2 »

Has the process of getting diagnosis offered any helpful strategies?

I haven't pursued it because I cannot figure out the value it would provide, relative to the time and money cost. But I'm also sitting in my quiet living room wearing noise cancelling headphones, with nothing playing. My day was probably overstimulating, leading me to mute sensory input. Maybe there are better options.

bigato
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by bigato »

Scott: yes, and I’m still going to the sessions even after the diagnosis, even though it’s my biggest expense now. And while specific strategies were offered, that kind of help you can get from books and from talking to other adults in the spectrum. But what is the most beneficial effect, in my opinion, is being challenged in your assumptions about what you should adapt to, what you should not, and how much. And what is normal and what is you. My therapist in particular, told me that when she works with a person, her main goal is that the person would eventually be undiagnosable. That does not mean forcing yourself into being what you don’t are, but adapting in ways that the characteristics won’t be a limit nor a problem in your life. There is a balance there between accepting myself on one side and not giving up on adaptation on the other.

I also liked a lot that we often discussed research and she would compare me to other cases that she treated. That was really useful for understanding it better. There were also eureka moments, when I understood why stuff works like it does in society.

Well I don’t feel like I did such a good job answering your question properly, so I may write more later. But please ask more if the answer was not so clear.

Scott 2
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by Scott 2 »

That makes sense, thanks.

When you are "undiagnosable" in real life situations, does it feel like you? Is it becoming automatic?

What I mean by this, is I can adopt nuerotypically passing behaviors, but it's an effort. I've memorized the rules of their game and am playing them. My pattern recognition is good at matching situations to these scripts. People are happy with the product, but it's a constant overhead on the interaction, and it drains me. I eventually grow tired or bored, then wander off. It could be minutes or years.

The more discretion I have over how my time is used, the less I engage in these games. I don't enjoy them, outside of a general satisfaction from knowing the rules or following ritual.

Dropping that pretense is hard on other players of the game. There's a big gap between expectations. Bridging it without following the rules is unlikely, unless I'm offering some overwhelming strength in a specific area.

I can build low pretense relationships, but they are very slow to form and rare.

It'd be cool if there was a better way.

Frita
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by Frita »

Relief makes sense. I imagine that it is validating and helps shape some direction. Congratulations!

bigato
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by bigato »

Thanks Frita!

Scott: I’m not sure I’ll ever be in the undiagnosable state myself and maybe I don’t even want to. That’s probably much more realistic when she starts treating someone as a child. Also, despite how much effort one puts into it, there’s physical limit to how much adaptation can make up for differences in essence. There’s a hard line to be drawn somewhere.

On the other side, dealing alone with this seems specially prone to blind spots and confusion. How do you actually know how much comes from essence and how much can be changed by training? Furthermore, how do you know how much of your most essential features can be compensated for using techniques and adaptation? How do I detect when I am forcing myself beyond what’s reasonable to expect? How do I prevent myself from falling on a unhealthy comfort zone when I really shouldn’t? Also, how do I know how much of my pain is caused by the environment versus versus how much is actually produced in my reaction to it?

There are several possible answers to the questions above. The ones that I trust to be the most effective involves other people in some capacity, as a mirror, as comparison, as guides. A highly competent specialist in the subject just happens to be the most efficient guide that I can think of.

Scott 2
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by Scott 2 »

That does sound appealing. Navigating the balance between over vs. under doing is something I chronically battle.

Thanks for sharing. It's interesting to see the experience of someone facing similar problems.

horsewoman
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Re: bigato's journal

Post by horsewoman »

What I find particularly difficult with muddling through on my own is that I often don't even notice that I act oddly. Sometimes someone will remark on my bluntness or distance, making me realize that I was behaving "autistic", but I fear that most people would not be so direct. This results in questioning myself all the time, which of course takes a lot of energy in addition to the masking and copying I do in any given interaction... It is often disconcerting to see my daughter engaging in odd mannerisms or routines and looking at them from the outside - only now I realize that I do a lot of this, too and how odd it must look to others. Blind spots indeed!
A therapist might be really helpful I suppose in that regard - money well spent.

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