bigato's journal

[Bankai]

I wonder if you read any of the books below, and if yes, what are your thoughts? (Douglas, Elder and classic Livermore are more relevant to what you are doing while Mivervini and O'Neil just offer generally good advice (imo)). Personally, I prefer these kinds of books written by practitioners, over academic theorists.

Douglas Mark - Trading in the Zone
Douglas Mark - The Disciplined Trader, Developing Winning Attitudes
Dr.A.Elder - Come into my trading room
Dr.A.Elder - Sell and Sell Short
Jesse Livermore - Reminiscences Of A Stock Operator
Mark Minervini - Think & Trade Like a Champion
Mark Minervini - Trade Like a Stock Market Wizard
O'Neil - How to make money in stocks

[jacob]

Would also recommend https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1540052/ if you can get a hold of it---just to get an idea of the various "characters" you're up against. Note that it's already 10yrs old ... but compare perhaps to the Livermore book to see how the process works and how quickly the tools used are changing.

Also https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1905641796/ (if you want to be systematic about it)
And https://www.amazon.com/Way-Turtle-Metho ... 07148664X/ (for a system that famously worked)

But keep in mind ... all these books were written a long time about (10 years is a long time) and while the psychological lessons remain valid, the actual methods have been mostly deprecated. Actually, it's fair to mention that people made fun of me for reading so much as opposed to just sit and stare at the numbers to pull something out of my magic hat. There's something to the idea of treating the market like a [poker] game with unknown rules (and unknown odds) and simply figuring it out by playing a lot yourself rather than getting locked in by reading about others who figured it out.

It might be smart to delay the studying until you actually have figured it out yourself ... and then use the reading to refine your skills. I realize this is completely opposite of standard pedagogical advice. There is an obvious reason for this though.

[classical_Liberal]

In the event that they say no and I don’t get approved for the exit package this time, I’ll then cross over the hierarchies guiltlessly and talk to the executive I know and other managers to try and find another position that accepts me fully remote. Failing that, I can wait for 2021 or just quit at any time really.

Cool, good news, maybe it'll work out this time! If not, the above paragraph tells me you are in a much better mindset than last time to negotiate a better deal for yourself, or just walk if need be. Last time you wanted the exit package, but were pretty wishy-washy on what you'd do if it didn't happen.

Coming from the other side, with not fully FI financials, I can tell you it's well worth it. Getting control of your time and schedule is priceless. I have the option of going back to work any time I want, for as long as I want, earning gross about 10K USD each month. So far it hasn't been worth it to me, if that gives you an idea of how much I like it.

[mooretrees]

Fingers crossed that you get the remote option! But it sounds like you have a plan b and c, so you are in a great situation. Looking forward to hearing the news soon!

[classical_Liberal]

So you can probably tell by not that I’ll not so excited about learning day trading anymore.

Welcome to the dark side of rapidly changing obsessions.

[Frita]

How do you feel about your diagnosis?

[Scott 2]

Has the process of getting diagnosis offered any helpful strategies?

I haven't pursued it because I cannot figure out the value it would provide, relative to the time and money cost. But I'm also sitting in my quiet living room wearing noise cancelling headphones, with nothing playing. My day was probably overstimulating, leading me to mute sensory input. Maybe there are better options.

[Scott 2]

That makes sense, thanks.

When you are "undiagnosable" in real life situations, does it feel like you? Is it becoming automatic?

What I mean by this, is I can adopt nuerotypically passing behaviors, but it's an effort. I've memorized the rules of their game and am playing them. My pattern recognition is good at matching situations to these scripts. People are happy with the product, but it's a constant overhead on the interaction, and it drains me. I eventually grow tired or bored, then wander off. It could be minutes or years.

The more discretion I have over how my time is used, the less I engage in these games. I don't enjoy them, outside of a general satisfaction from knowing the rules or following ritual.

Dropping that pretense is hard on other players of the game. There's a big gap between expectations. Bridging it without following the rules is unlikely, unless I'm offering some overwhelming strength in a specific area.

I can build low pretense relationships, but they are very slow to form and rare.

It'd be cool if there was a better way.

[Frita]

Relief makes sense. I imagine that it is validating and helps shape some direction. Congratulations!

[Scott 2]

That does sound appealing. Navigating the balance between over vs. under doing is something I chronically battle.

Thanks for sharing. It's interesting to see the experience of someone facing similar problems.

[horsewoman]

What I find particularly difficult with muddling through on my own is that I often don't even notice that I act oddly. Sometimes someone will remark on my bluntness or distance, making me realize that I was behaving "autistic", but I fear that most people would not be so direct. This results in questioning myself all the time, which of course takes a lot of energy in addition to the masking and copying I do in any given interaction... It is often disconcerting to see my daughter engaging in odd mannerisms or routines and looking at them from the outside - only now I realize that I do a lot of this, too and how odd it must look to others. Blind spots indeed!
A therapist might be really helpful I suppose in that regard - money well spent.

[classical_Liberal]

Free stuff! The rich get richer...

[horsewoman]

Timeliness is a curious thing, isn't it? When one is in the consumer mindset it is the instant availability, paired with overnight delivery.
In our mindset it is being patient enough to wait until the stuff comes around.

[Riggerjack]

For those that are curious, as of this week I’m officially diagnosed as being in the autism spectrum, in what previously was called asperger syndrome but now is called high functioning autism.

Yeah. Me too. I just wanted to stop by and say thanks. Your journal helped me see the benefit of seeking some help.

My thoughts were very similar to those of scott 2. I suspected I would be diagnosed with Asperger's, but couldn't see how a label would be helpful.

Much to my surprise, it's been very helpful. So thanks, again.

[mathiverse]

@Riggerjack - In what ways did you find it helpful?

[Riggerjack]

@ mathverse

I don't know how relevant my experience is to anyone else. I was diagnosed with Asperger's and PTSD. How much of each is still in question.

I have always thought differently than anyone I have ever met or read about. It's easy to think this is because other people are just not very smart, when school and tests are just pathetically easy. But of course this is harder to believe, after schooling is over, and the tests are far less aligned with my strengths.

But I also became more aware over the years that other people didn't grow up in a Chuck Palaniuk novel. Over in ffj's journal, he has some neighbors he wants to move away from. I was in several households like that as a kid. I enlisted shortly after school. Being in the army, during wartime, was by far the most stable and peaceful time in my life, to that point.

So then it is easy to think that the difference is background.

But still there are many aspects of dealing with people that are stressful and difficult. So my solution has been to increase distance. And keep increasing distance...

Understanding that some of the difference is perceptual has been very helpful.

Everyone has problems trying to figure out other people. I feel like we have all been working on our own jigsaw puzzle, from mixed sets, with missing pieces, and no real idea of what the picture is. But I have been doing my puzzle, with the pieces facedown.

By accepting that there are aspects of this puzzle that are simply invisible to me, I have been able to relax about trying to fit the next individual piece, and step back, looking at how all of the assembled bits could fit together.

It has opened up new, useful, ways of thinking about the puzzle. Not so much in a tips and tricks kind of way, more in a general, systemic way. Though I'm middle aged, and that may be a factor. The tips and tricks would probably have been very helpful when I was younger.

The real help has been in pointing out my blind spots, as bigato said. I don't think I could have found them on my own. Mentally, I was just skipping past them, without noticing. It's hard to correct patterns one doesn't notice.

I hope that helps.

[George the original one]

@bigato - one of your strengths that has repeatedly shown through in all these years is how good you are at talking to people to create a business arrangement.

[chenda]

Good luck, and I hope your symptoms dissipate soon.

Btw, out of interest are you Brazilian or did you emigrate there ?

[mooretrees]

I hope you recover quickly!

[rube]

Be safe Bigato.
Good you have now the opportunity to work from home.