We haven't heard anything yet from Germany. They were supposed to contact us this week. Annoying, but we'll live...
DutchGirl's journal
Shit. My boyfriend got sick of the waiting and called. Apparently they weren't bothering too much with him because he was on the rejected-list anyway. So no job in Germany. And also, for him, no new challenge to put his teeth in, something I believe he needs at this stage in his life. Ouch, it really hurts. He wanted this soo much.
If I ignore that for a bit, the bright side is that we will not be uprooting our lives and I can continue to work where I work now, and also get a career there, or somewhere else if I like that better.
If I ignore that for a bit, the bright side is that we will not be uprooting our lives and I can continue to work where I work now, and also get a career there, or somewhere else if I like that better.
Sorry to hear this DG. I was really hoping this would go through for you guys. I know how your BF feels. The first job I applied for overseas I ended up being denied as well. Since this was right on the heels of my divorce the rejection hurt even more. I ended up staying with a friend for three months and eventually found another job. If I had given up I would not be enjoying the life I enjoy now.I know it will not take the sting out of how he feels, but there was probably a lot learned from this experience. He now has a better idea of where to look for possible jobs as well as what to expect the hiring process to be like in the future. Maybe he even has an idea of how to make himself a better candidate when he applies in the future. We usually don't see these things when something we have our hopes set on falls through, but there are other opportunities. I hope if it is really what he wants he will get back in the saddle and try again. Wish you guys the best.
Thanks for your kind words. I hope so too, ExpatERE. Today it still hurts a bit. I was really hoping for this thing to happen; and I notice now it was especially because I think he would have loved it so much. My life actually just became a lot easier and less complicated, albeit also a bit less adventurous, at least for now.
I will definitely encourage him to keep looking; in a few days we hope that he can talk to someone about why he wasn't hired; and yes, maybe it is possible to improve his resume.
Thanks.
I will definitely encourage him to keep looking; in a few days we hope that he can talk to someone about why he wasn't hired; and yes, maybe it is possible to improve his resume.
Thanks.
Now it's been a few days. While I sometimes still dream that someone from the organisation will call and say: " we made a terrible mix-up, a thousand apologies, please come", for the most part we've accepted this and have moved on. I've told my company that I'll stay and perhaps can get training to increase my capabilities and get promoted. My boyfriend has started looking for other jobs, and, chicken soup to wounded pride, has already two potential job offers. Both here in the Netherlands and less interesting than the one in Germany, but paying much more. He is still considering and the discussions and negotiations will continue next week.
My boyfriend is still looking for a new job. Easter got in the way as well, maybe today or tomorrow he may hear again from one of the three employers he is talking to. Who knows. He does not want to retire early (he tells me), he wants a job that has meaning to him.
Meanwhile, I crashed at my PhD. I'm so sick and tired of the demands and of working for nothing. I see no reason for me to finish it since I'm very likely not going to use my title during my career, after all (I thought I would when I started it). So my motivation is/was somewhere below zero. My supervisors aren't a big help either. When I talked to them (after weeks of struggling) they suggested I go see a therapist, because they think I'm depressed. I don't think I am, I love my current job, I like to do my hobbies, I only get "depressed" when I have to work on my thesis. Well, our solution so far is that I'll take two months off and I would consider a therapist. I think the therapist could only help me grow a spine, since my youth I've always wanted to please others, and now I would finish my thesis only to please my parents and my supervisors. At least, that's what it feels like right now.
Financially, things are going okay. I'm reasonably good with my money. I'll have a niece soon, so I will be spending some money on gifts and on travel, soon. I have also invested €500 in the Dutch version of people-to-people-lending (like prosper?). Biggest disadvantage I see so far is that minimum input is €100 on one note and that the number of borrowers is still relatively small. So it is difficult to spread the risk and find candidates that meet my criteria. I intend to put in €1k total, which is something like 4-5% of my total assets. And then see how it goes. Most will pay back over the course of 36 months, so it'll be a long time before I can evaluate success...
I am saving about €500 a month, which is about 30% of my income. My current net worth is just above €20k, which is great to see (it was fluctuating around €5k ever since 2004 up until somewhere in 2010).
Meanwhile, I crashed at my PhD. I'm so sick and tired of the demands and of working for nothing. I see no reason for me to finish it since I'm very likely not going to use my title during my career, after all (I thought I would when I started it). So my motivation is/was somewhere below zero. My supervisors aren't a big help either. When I talked to them (after weeks of struggling) they suggested I go see a therapist, because they think I'm depressed. I don't think I am, I love my current job, I like to do my hobbies, I only get "depressed" when I have to work on my thesis. Well, our solution so far is that I'll take two months off and I would consider a therapist. I think the therapist could only help me grow a spine, since my youth I've always wanted to please others, and now I would finish my thesis only to please my parents and my supervisors. At least, that's what it feels like right now.
Financially, things are going okay. I'm reasonably good with my money. I'll have a niece soon, so I will be spending some money on gifts and on travel, soon. I have also invested €500 in the Dutch version of people-to-people-lending (like prosper?). Biggest disadvantage I see so far is that minimum input is €100 on one note and that the number of borrowers is still relatively small. So it is difficult to spread the risk and find candidates that meet my criteria. I intend to put in €1k total, which is something like 4-5% of my total assets. And then see how it goes. Most will pay back over the course of 36 months, so it'll be a long time before I can evaluate success...
I am saving about €500 a month, which is about 30% of my income. My current net worth is just above €20k, which is great to see (it was fluctuating around €5k ever since 2004 up until somewhere in 2010).
For me it sounds like your advisors need your Phd more than you. Try not to be intimidated by them. Going into therapy for them is very, very questionable.
Tak a deep breath and think about the situation. Even if you don't need your Phd, you can get a lot of satisfaction by completing it. If your advisors are so keen that you get a Phd (and they are on the publications as co-authors and (co-)promotor), think of what they can offer you. Maybe they can pay for someone to clean up your writing, they can pay for you getting a two-months research assistantship (and then you writing the thesis while you get an unpaid leave at your current job).
Taking a break can be a very good step. If you struggle in writing up the thesis, consider trying differently! Maybe try only to write on e.g. sundays, or to write only small specific pieces like the methods part of an article. Try what works. And leverage your supervisors. They need your thesis. Talk to them what they can offer.
Tak a deep breath and think about the situation. Even if you don't need your Phd, you can get a lot of satisfaction by completing it. If your advisors are so keen that you get a Phd (and they are on the publications as co-authors and (co-)promotor), think of what they can offer you. Maybe they can pay for someone to clean up your writing, they can pay for you getting a two-months research assistantship (and then you writing the thesis while you get an unpaid leave at your current job).
Taking a break can be a very good step. If you struggle in writing up the thesis, consider trying differently! Maybe try only to write on e.g. sundays, or to write only small specific pieces like the methods part of an article. Try what works. And leverage your supervisors. They need your thesis. Talk to them what they can offer.
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George the original one
- Posts: 5406
- Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:28 am
- Location: Wettest corner of Orygun
> Even if you don't need your Phd, you can get a lot of satisfaction by completing it
+1. Never underestimate the leverage you have by having a title/degree. Especially when you are very close to completion.
The truth is that when working any long-term project, one will inevitably experience disillusionment and discouragement. Even if you're ahead of schedule and like the subject.
+1. Never underestimate the leverage you have by having a title/degree. Especially when you are very close to completion.
The truth is that when working any long-term project, one will inevitably experience disillusionment and discouragement. Even if you're ahead of schedule and like the subject.
Yes, so far (about four months experience) so good.
@simplex: yes, my supervisors need my PhD as well, as it shows they can "create" postdocs, a good mark on their work file. I must say that they are now going to help with writing a letter to the reviewers. I sometimes want to write: "No, that's an idiotic suggestion, go and read your statistics book". They will change that comment for me to academic speak... My one supervisor also asked what they could do for me. A paid position is out of the question, but we have agreed that I will come in to write more often; being around my old colleagues helps a bit to be productive.
@simplex: yes, my supervisors need my PhD as well, as it shows they can "create" postdocs, a good mark on their work file. I must say that they are now going to help with writing a letter to the reviewers. I sometimes want to write: "No, that's an idiotic suggestion, go and read your statistics book". They will change that comment for me to academic speak... My one supervisor also asked what they could do for me. A paid position is out of the question, but we have agreed that I will come in to write more often; being around my old colleagues helps a bit to be productive.
Great that you have the support of your advisors. Helping with writing replies is important. But your quote "No, that's an idiotic suggestion, ..." seems to indicate that you must understand the game of scientific publishing better. Being a reviewer is a burden and they must write some comment on an article they probably don't know to much about (so they just pick on something) or they know you/your supervisors and write according to this knowledge. Best is to stay calm under the comments. Acknowledge they have a valid point, rephrase and repeat their concern ans say something like "taking into account your comments and additional literature/whatever we rephrased our article to "...." (rephrasing is the key, you don't actually change the article except if it was a real mistake) . So everybody is happy. Experienced supervisors can help a lot and they must work to earn to be a coauthor.
For you the main thing is to be patient with all the demands placed on you. Just keep writing a piece a time.
For you the main thing is to be patient with all the demands placed on you. Just keep writing a piece a time.
@simplex: His question was like "Why don't you use a hammer on this screw?"... I admit that some of his other comments were right on target, but indeed they weren't about the statistics. So I find it really hard to give a sugar-coated answer to his hammer-screw suggestion, but I hope my supervisors will do better. I am really not very good at this 
Talking about home improvement, I'm proud to tell you guys that I'm in the middle of fixing the xxxx below our window. (I have to go and look up what it's called in English, ah, window sill... ). It was overgrown with moss, and there were pieces missing. I cleaned it up last week and bought fast-drying cement to fix the holes and dents. Applied the cement today, struggling to get it right before it dried, it will be fully dry tomorrow and then I'll paint it, too. I'm terrible at home improvement stuff (almost to the level of wanting to use a hammer on a screw), so I'm quite proud of myself.
Talking about home improvement, I'm proud to tell you guys that I'm in the middle of fixing the xxxx below our window. (I have to go and look up what it's called in English, ah, window sill... ). It was overgrown with moss, and there were pieces missing. I cleaned it up last week and bought fast-drying cement to fix the holes and dents. Applied the cement today, struggling to get it right before it dried, it will be fully dry tomorrow and then I'll paint it, too. I'm terrible at home improvement stuff (almost to the level of wanting to use a hammer on a screw), so I'm quite proud of myself.
The weekly update (that's what I try to do): My boyfriend has a new job (or project, actually) that will be for 3 months and will bring in a lot of money. He is also glad to be working again and told me today that he is looking forward to the next couple of months (I've heard different things from him before, so this is a good sign).
My PhD is showing slow progress. My supervisors actually didn't do what I asked them to do, but instead looked over my manuscript and have asked me to reword about 20 separate sentences. I will probably force myself to do that next week and then, hopefully, I can resubmit the third article. Come to think of it, maybe I should grow some spine and ask them to do the things they promised to do... should at least save me a few hours of frustration. Blergh. I can feel the frustration coming back to me.
My finances are okay. Salary was less this month, probably because of how the finances department calculates taxes. Still, I have now 4000 euros saved up for the PhD thesis. I would need about 6k, I once calculated, but that was when I still gave a fuck about what other people would think about me. You are supposed to buy your committee an expensive dinner, you are supposed to host a party at a restaurant or so, you are supposed to print the thesis too many times in fancy colours, bla bla bla... Maybe I'm just going for the minimum requirements that allow me to get that thesis done.
I painted the upper door of our fridge. It is a large one and very old, but this time my boyfriend is the one who doesn't want to buy something new as long as it works. Fridge magnets had eroded the previous layer of paint and left stains, so now it has a new white paint. I also used some sugru to "repair" our kitchen work space that used to be completely flat so water ran of; now the sugru forms a nice "dyke" to keep most of the spilled water on the work space. (PS: this is sugru: http://sugru.com/)
You can see that the fridge door is painted now instead of spray-painted. I guess spray-painting would have been better, but it already looks 10 times better than before so I'm happy.
This is the little dyke, I'm a Dutch girl after all and I micromanage water for a hobby :
Next project is painting the kitchen cabinets. There's some work to be done. Just to clarify: the kitchen is very old, but everything still works, so why replace it? I hate losing the money, my boyfriends hates the temporary mess replacing would cause...
My PhD is showing slow progress. My supervisors actually didn't do what I asked them to do, but instead looked over my manuscript and have asked me to reword about 20 separate sentences. I will probably force myself to do that next week and then, hopefully, I can resubmit the third article. Come to think of it, maybe I should grow some spine and ask them to do the things they promised to do... should at least save me a few hours of frustration. Blergh. I can feel the frustration coming back to me.
My finances are okay. Salary was less this month, probably because of how the finances department calculates taxes. Still, I have now 4000 euros saved up for the PhD thesis. I would need about 6k, I once calculated, but that was when I still gave a fuck about what other people would think about me. You are supposed to buy your committee an expensive dinner, you are supposed to host a party at a restaurant or so, you are supposed to print the thesis too many times in fancy colours, bla bla bla... Maybe I'm just going for the minimum requirements that allow me to get that thesis done.
I painted the upper door of our fridge. It is a large one and very old, but this time my boyfriend is the one who doesn't want to buy something new as long as it works. Fridge magnets had eroded the previous layer of paint and left stains, so now it has a new white paint. I also used some sugru to "repair" our kitchen work space that used to be completely flat so water ran of; now the sugru forms a nice "dyke" to keep most of the spilled water on the work space. (PS: this is sugru: http://sugru.com/)
You can see that the fridge door is painted now instead of spray-painted. I guess spray-painting would have been better, but it already looks 10 times better than before so I'm happy.
This is the little dyke, I'm a Dutch girl after all and I micromanage water for a hobby
: Next project is painting the kitchen cabinets. There's some work to be done. Just to clarify: the kitchen is very old, but everything still works, so why replace it? I hate losing the money, my boyfriends hates the temporary mess replacing would cause...
I painted the kitchen cabinets and am quite happy with the results:
The color is no longer "aged yellow" but "cream white". Some of the marks could not be painted, the bare wood eats up the paint (actually it isn't real wood but more wood fibers glued together or something like that). I'm hoping for my dad to come over in a few weeks and give his expert opinion.
This is the top row, where there was less damage and thus the new color makes it look brand new. Excellent.
Note to self: in the future, don't put on your shoes right next to a freshly painted door and lose your balance. That's a waste of a nice t-shirt.
Oh, and by the way: I've resubmitted the article for my PhD! I'm so happy that it's done!
(Also we visited my boyfriend's accountant and I'll get about 1000 euros back from last year's taxes. Unfortunately, the system works a bit different in the Netherlands and I can't ask my boss to withhold 80 euros less for taxes each month, so I have to wait until I can claim it back when the year has finished.).
The color is no longer "aged yellow" but "cream white". Some of the marks could not be painted, the bare wood eats up the paint (actually it isn't real wood but more wood fibers glued together or something like that). I'm hoping for my dad to come over in a few weeks and give his expert opinion.
This is the top row, where there was less damage and thus the new color makes it look brand new. Excellent.
Note to self: in the future, don't put on your shoes right next to a freshly painted door and lose your balance. That's a waste of a nice t-shirt.
Oh, and by the way: I've resubmitted the article for my PhD! I'm so happy that it's done!
(Also we visited my boyfriend's accountant and I'll get about 1000 euros back from last year's taxes. Unfortunately, the system works a bit different in the Netherlands and I can't ask my boss to withhold 80 euros less for taxes each month, so I have to wait until I can claim it back when the year has finished.).
I've started a small job-on-the-side basically correcting texts and helping with statistics. So far, client 1 still needs to pay me €75 of his €225 bill (for work I have already done), and potential client 2 seems to be backing away after an, I would say fruitful, two hour discussion of the potential job. Still, I could be onto something. For me, earning €150 extra (okay, before taxes) is not nothing. I understand from our tax adviser that I can deduct the costs of the hot chocolat I ordered while discussing potential project 2. Cool
A small bummer was me preparing my financial spreadsheet for the second half of the year. Because so far I've been scheduled for only a few hours at my regular job in July/August/September, expected income is rather low and so I will only be able to save €500 a month instead of the €900 I had hoped for. Well, of course I don't know whether they'll offer me some more hours (yesterday they called me in because someone got ill, so that will be another extra €130 salary next month after taxes). Also if I can get more side-jobs the numbers could get better as well.
Since on average I'm only working 20 hours per week, I'm kind-of enjoying semi-retirement right now, especially since I sent in that article last week and have no PhD related work to do, for now. I must say I like it. I'm using http://www.rememberthemilk.com to get at least some "work" done every day...
A small bummer was me preparing my financial spreadsheet for the second half of the year. Because so far I've been scheduled for only a few hours at my regular job in July/August/September, expected income is rather low and so I will only be able to save €500 a month instead of the €900 I had hoped for. Well, of course I don't know whether they'll offer me some more hours (yesterday they called me in because someone got ill, so that will be another extra €130 salary next month after taxes). Also if I can get more side-jobs the numbers could get better as well.
Since on average I'm only working 20 hours per week, I'm kind-of enjoying semi-retirement right now, especially since I sent in that article last week and have no PhD related work to do, for now. I must say I like it. I'm using http://www.rememberthemilk.com to get at least some "work" done every day...