HanaSolo Explains It All

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HanaSolo
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HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by HanaSolo »

As tempting as it is to lurk in the shadows, understand the basic philosophies, learn the lingo (and ultimately try not to embarrass myself) I want this journal to reflect my current mindset so I may as well just dive in. Thank you for your graciousness while I live and learn.

Since you can't swing a dead cat around here without hitting a Wheaton Scale reference I suppose that's where I'll start. Thanks Wikipedia for informing me that I fall somewhere around a W3 with significant overspray in either direction. The entire idea about relating to the other levels just snapped my attention right up, because it put words so clearly to an experience I'd had with meditation. I find that I understand not only MORE about meditation than I once had, but that the theoretical knowledge, once transferred to experiential knowledge, took on a whole different meaning. But not necessarily a more complicated one. In fact, generally it was more simple but somehow more profound. And seemingly impossible to really relay to someone earlier on the path. As I read I kept thinking- someone needs to make a Wheaton Scale for meditation and the path to enlightenment! And so imagine my pleasure when I get to the "final" stage Chop Wood, Carry Water! And I thought- what if all Wheaton Scales ultimately lead to the same place!?! What better description of an enlightened being than that of the Wheaton Master? Ok ok, don't fight me on that, it was mostly just to say how very pleased I was with how well the path to ERE aligns with other things I find important, challenging, and rewarding in life. And how satisfied I was to realize that somewhere in me I already have instilled a morsel of "unconscious competence" and systems thinking! Which I will now share.

We recently had a Solo house tragedy as the result of my insisting we get a puppy (I know- what a leechy little ERE drain). Well, as it turns out, FrankSolo is both an absolute delight AND a ferocious chicken executioner- and worse yet, mutilator. Leave it to say that we no longer have our three amusing urban chickens (RIP Gloria and Lou and Grimes) and I've found myself with a gnaw-happy beast and no chickens to munch my food scraps. Since everyone with a pooch knows that dog treat profits are lining the pockets of himilayan yak farmers everywhere, I'd bought a bag of marrow bones from the freezer section in Winco (which seemed like a win at the time. Oh simple, sweet little W2 me...). Then (cue intuitive systems thinking lightbulb!) I decided to take the hollowed-out chewed-up bones that held no interest anymore for the dogs (yes, there is also old man JackSolo) and fill them with the vegetable scraps no longer being devoured by our chickens (god rest their souls). And better yet! With the nubby little parmesan rind and with the last smear of sour cream that's prooobably fine but HubbySolo turns his nose up at- stuff them all together in some bones and freeze and you have epicurean dog treats! Ongoing costs: zero dollarinos. So now, my dogs compost my food even better than the chickens ever could! I have yet to figure out how to extract eggs from them. But I figure that's at least W7 or 8 so I'll get there.

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mountainFrugal
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by mountainFrugal »

Welcome @HanaSolo. Sorry to hear about Grimes headed to Oblivion in a violent way (I think this is what the lyrics meant). We are all on our own Wheaton scale journey. Look forward to following yours.

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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by jacob »

HanaSolo wrote:
Sun Sep 12, 2021 11:17 pm
I find that I understand not only MORE about meditation than I once had, but that the theoretical knowledge, once transferred to experiential knowledge, took on a whole different meaning. But not necessarily a more complicated one. In fact, generally it was more simple but somehow more profound. And seemingly impossible to really relay to someone earlier on the path.
Yes, higher levels are not more complicated. Just more complex. For example, the financial machinations at say WL4-5 with funds, asset allocations, apps, tax rules, conversion plans, spreadsheets, optimized withdrawal rules, 4%-rule, dredging historical data for SWR strats, etc. often tend to complications or overcomplicating matters.

I think it's the realization that squeezing that lemon further leads to declining returns that leads people to complexifying their understanding of capital into other kinds. This marks the beginning of WL6 or post-consumerism.

HanaSolo
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by HanaSolo »

@mountainfrugal- lol, I see what you did there! And I like it :)

@jacob perhaps I'll find your answer to this in my future reading, but to cut to the chase, do you consider that type of thinking at WL4/5 a necessity to build the foundation for higher level thinking? Or could one potentially circumnavigate the overcomplication?

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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by jacob »

HanaSolo wrote:
Mon Sep 13, 2021 4:07 pm
@jacob perhaps I'll find your answer to this in my future reading, but to cut to the chase, do you consider that type of thinking at WL4/5 a necessity to build the foundation for higher level thinking? Or could one potentially circumnavigate the overcomplication?
I think it's necessary. It's like building a pyramid. The current level must be explored and expanded before it is solid enough to support the next stage. (One must translate---move traversely---before one can transcend---go beyond.) Trying to rush and short-cut it ends up building a straw ladder. In particular, it may lead to a WL5 understanding of WL7, say, thinking that systems-thinking is about optimizing one's various systems rather than a taking perspective of considering the whole.

However, that's not to say that the ERE WL table describes the only path. There are many paths but in the abstract they all seem rather analogous to each other in terms of how people end up structuring their thinking.

HanaSolo
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by HanaSolo »

That makes sense- thanks for explaining

HanaSolo
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by HanaSolo »

I grew up in a house at the mouth of a canyon, where two once-wild rivers choked at their confluence into a silty reservoir. In the depths was a timber graveyard. There lay the casualties of a century old lumber mill decomposing in layers of mine tailings collected from a hundred miles upstream. I spent my days in "the slough" flipping half rotted railroad ties and snatching salamanders as they fled through arsenic-laced mud. I poked sticks in muskrat dens that emerged between exposed willow roots, hoping to startle one out into a swim. At the edge of my memory, my parents kept rabbits. In hutches below the house, stilted over piles of poop pellets, were writhing pink babies destined for stew. I plucked apples from my tree, MY MacIntosh tree, a birthday gift honoring my appetite for the fruit. It's this place and these memories that influence all of my future aims- the dreams I run toward and the circumstances I hope to escape for good.

It’s hard to untangle my motivations to change my life from what it is now- whether it’s a nostalgia for those hazy summer days with little human interaction and so much to explore, or an attempt to avoid the unending nights, laying awake listening for the clanks and squeaks of dad’s Longhorn bouncing down the drive, hoping to fall asleep to late night canned laughter, but prepared for slurred arguing instead.

I learned young that money equals happiness, and my family’s want for the latter seemed wholly related to the scarcity of the former, as evidenced by the substance of most of my parents’ quarrels. My childhood dream of being a horse farrier morphed into the goal of attaining a career with predictable hours, stable income, and reliable employment. A dream I dutifully pursued and easily obtained. Which leaves me here, in a comfortable existence daydreaming for the life of my dad, a boom and bust carpenter who now spends his days moving water, dirt, and trees around the yard and occasionally swinging a hammer for pay.

I know that in some ways the dream of ERE is just another method of escape. In the same way a steady income eased my fears of destitution, financial independence is an attempt to plan for and avoid future pain. If my choices till now have been driven by the desire to shallow the troughs in life, an unfortunate side effect has been that those actions have also tamped down the peaks. Even if FI is just another means of lessening anxiety, I hope it has the result of restoring a more natural topography to the landscape of my life.
---------------------------------
And now for some meat & potatoes.
All numbers below are combined with DH as I wouldn't even know where to begin separating our spending.
Checking: 9k
Savings: 25k
My Retirement: 145k
DH Retirement: 6k
Invested HSA: 5k
Brokerage: 17k
Est. Home Equity: 189k
Debt: 220k
Household Annual Net Income: 114k
Monthly Unmindful Spending: ~5.5-6k
Sept Budget Goal (my first ever): 4.5k
Sign: Gemini
Favorite Chore: Vacuuming
Fav. (arguably) Frivolous Expense: Naked lady spa

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mountainFrugal
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by mountainFrugal »

The boom/bust, hammer/bottle carpenter household is very similar to the one I grew up in, although in a different part of the country. Glad you have taken control of your life and have saved so much already! I like your writing style. Keep going!

Western Red Cedar
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by Western Red Cedar »

I really enjoy your writing style and sense of humor. Make sure to keep FrankSolo on the straight and narrow in the future. You can't have your guard dog killing your protein source.

If I'm in your neck of the woods I'll send you a PM and see if I can sample your husbands microbrews. I try to get over there every couple of years for an early (or late) season backpacking trip. I still rock my Boundary Bay and PT Brewery gear, even though they are old, have stains/holes, and make me look a bit like a hobo :D

enfier
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by enfier »

As I read I kept thinking- someone needs to make a Wheaton Scale for meditation and the path to enlightenment!
As for that you have the Ten Bulls. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Bulls Enjoy!

HanaSolo
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by HanaSolo »

Thanks all!

@enfier- Of course! Looking forward to diving more into that. "Barefooted and naked of breast, I mingle with the people of the world." All I ever wanted :)

@western red cedar- Yes please do! (It didn't seem worth parsing details in my introduction post but we aren't that far north, but either way would love to share beer). Shoulder season in the Olympics is lovely.
And YES! A few friends shared their wisdom on the Frank front, but since I'm not willing to hang a dead chicken around his neck till it rots off or use a carcass to bludgeon him I'm still a little at a loss. Ideas welcome. It was a surprise because he generally had been pretty uninterested in them- till he wasn't. A friend gave us a cheap e-collar I was considering just popping in him and zapping whenever he noses them, seems a little cruel to the dog I know, but the chickens would seem to benefit.

HanaSolo
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by HanaSolo »

What I thought I'd write about today is the mental whiplash I’ve experienced this week chasing future possibilities, but every attempt becomes rambling and disjointed, so those thoughts need some time to coalesce. Instead, a topic that’s had several years to settle...

There’s beauty in the barren
Searching eyes spot only what they seek
Soften your gaze and I come alive


Infertility has been a journey, mostly one through my own notions of a life well-lived and a woman’s worth. And in that way, infertility has been a blessing. In past posts I’ve made note of beginning to question my life when I achieved my career aspirations only to be disappointed, but true introspection began when I stopped taking that little white pill. Well, that’s not true either. It took another year of peeing on little white sticks and hallucinating little pink lines before TRUE true introspection began. At that point I’d come to a fork ( I say “I” and not “we” because Mr. Solo and I, while navigating this together, have our own unique experiences). Down one path was seizing control of life with the power of modern medicine. Down the other was relinquishing that control (or more accurately accepting that control had only been an illusion all along). We tip-toed down the medical path just far enough to spy the first bend (“Look at those rapidly aging eggs and those tired, lazy swimmers! Fire up the engines and initiate phase one!”) before reversing course and releasing the wheel.

I was always going to be a mom. It was my highest calling and would be my greatest joy. It was a surprise then that just peeking the price tag was enough to give me pause. And I mean that quite literally, that the first time I even thought to REALLY consider whether I wanted a child was when I was looking at the cost and success rates of IUI (so many acronyms to learn). Initially it was the cost in dollars, but if I truly wanted to become pregnant that was a small hurtle. But then there was the cost to my sanity- the dissonance that comes from throwing all of my energy into a goal that is ultimately entirely up to fate. I wasn’t really interested in shelling out either way. As soon as I recognized this I was tempted to start building a strong case for a child-free existence- create a library of studies supporting parents being stressed and unhappy, boast about the environmental benefits of choosing not to bring more humans onto this earth, but that was just another form of grasping. In truth I'm heartbroken in some ways, and joyous in others. And it feels right to just see what happens. Though, with each passing year the wait feels a little more melancholy, as if a season is drawing to an end. With the wonders of science I have plenty of time to change my mind, but I suspect I will not. This space between my plans for life and reality has allowed room to reflect and to dream. It’s given me time to consider lifestyles I hadn’t dreamed possible with a little one in tow. I suspect ER grew out of a desire to fill the void infertility left in my envisioned future. And I certainly feel empowered to think outside of the box (with 2.5 kids in it and a white picket fence).

I’m very much looking forward to posting numbers for my first ever budgeted month. I’m already building my defense of my over-spending, though ultimately I know there’s no one to defend against but my own idea of where I should be. So mostly, I’m pleased to just have an awareness of where I am. Also, while typing this very post I received a call from my boss (my boss's boss in fact) with an unexpected raise (add this to the muddled thoughts of the next post) which is either a delicious temptation to keep climbing that enticing careeramid (see what I did there? :D) or else a happy boost toward my goal. Or maybe not. Infertility, a salary bump, maybe good, maybe bad. Who knows?

HanaSolo
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by HanaSolo »

Ugh! I should’ve waited a couple years to start a journal till I’d put my elementary spending habits to bed and had bettered myself as a human!- I keep thinking.

But I was having such a very good time. And anyway, considering one of my favorite pastimes is envisioning and never quite becoming the superior person I will one day be, this is a perfectly fine place to be. We're in an optimizing phase and as far as that goes this month has been reasonably successful.. 8 days were spent vacationing and this offered some insights. We're decently skilled at vacationing on a dime, but this was not that. I wouldn't say I've been harboring feelings of deprivation with the lifestyle changes we've been making, but I felt just a little bit of "Why shouldn't I?! I deserve this!" and god damn we spent a lot of money on food and booze! It's not so much the spending there that concerns me, but the tantrummy sentiment that feels akin to cheating on a diet. I know changes aren't sustainable with that attitude so I'm just paying attention for when my little toddler voice comes up.

In other news, we did some car shuffling to save on commuting costs. Lots of room for improvement, both for our budget and the earth, but that's a bigger hurdle for another day. Savings of ~$100/mo at least on paper, so that's nothing to sniff at.

Food costs for us have always seemed absurd when compared to national averages. Based on this month I’m very confident the minor change of switching where we shop will result in big savings. HUGE impact on food spending is whether we plan for the week. We returned from vaca on a Monday and starting right into work the next day with a messy house and no meal prep. Resulted not only in more daily stress but also lazy eating out expenses and less healthy eating.

Oof- and frivolous spending. There’s one main culprit in our house, and it’s not my husband and it’s not the dogs. So, by powers of deduction- it's obviously the cat! She’s always making one off internet purchases and buying me work blouses at the secondhand store. It’s really going to be necessary to curb her spending from here on out. There was a minor rebellion toward the end of this month (old habits die hard) but these items are mostly things DH has been requesting and so they’ll become upcoming anniversary or possibly Christmas gifts. And in Kitty’s defense, they really were a good deal...

Sep Earnings: $12,316 (includes a "volunteer" activity I was unexpectedly paid for and an uncommon work bonus)
Sep Spending: $3751
Vaca Spending: $992 (included in overall Sep spending- things like food/drink, pet sitter, parking/transportation, etc)
Savings Rate: ~70% (~63% if I don't take into account the unusual income)

A little breakdown on regular expenses this month:
Housing + Utilities: $1315
Care Insurance: $111
Health Insurance: $256
Tolls: $75
Gas: $261 (oof. But $208 reimbursable through work)
Food/Alcohol (non-vaca): $507 (this is about 3wks worth of spending. I'd like to be at this rate for the full month, but considering a cursory glance shows we usually spend closer to $1k I'm pleased)
Charity: $60 (fixed monthly)
Misc Spending: $392 (Spotify/Patreon/Fantasy Football, new work boots for hubs, and of course the things purchased by that damn cat)

I'm expecting future mindset shifts, but I'm feeling like we're close to getting as far as simple optimizing can get us. DH or I could individually cut an expense here or there, but areas we can cut that we easily agree on are more or less covered at this point. Some plans for the upcoming month:

- Empty the freezer portion of our kegerator and unplug it (Mr. Solo used to always have a couple 5 gal kegs hooked up in there, but since brewing became his occupation vs hobby it's mostly just carbonated water and freezer storage now and it seems like a waste)
- Eat so much crab for our 5 year anniversary
- Bike trailer research: I built a little bike trailer in college to haul my kayak and it was decently successful. Will probably peruse craigslist and such to see if anything super cheap comes up before taking that task on again, but either way I'd like a way to carry groceries. I'm not sure that winter in Washington is the ideal time to start committing to biking for groceries (I'm thinking about that tantrummy little toddler brain that hates getting wet), but I can at least start the thought process.

So, yep. That's where it's at. I'm very much a project-hopper/dream-hopper, and currently still very pleased to have started watching our finances and not losing steam yet!

Married2aSwabian
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Re: HanaSolo Explains It All

Post by Married2aSwabian »

I can relate to your struggles with ERE goals - we also seem to have many months where all is going “according to plan”, and then shit happens… I don’t know, for example, how I could DIY the new glasses (lens only) that DW needs that cost over $400!

I think it’s a path that’s kind of like learning so many things: a language, a musical instrument, a sport - you can make a lot of progress at first, then plateau for a while and then eventually keep making progress. Keep persevering!

I was recently reminded by MountainFrugal, that you achieved something that takes a great deal of perseverance: through hiking the PCT. Wow! DW and I want to go out west for some extended camping / hiking / backpacking trips in the next couple of years. One of the trails we were thinking of section hiking was the PCT: Tuolumne Meadows and possibly in Oregon around Crater Lake.
Looking for sections that aren’t too difficult (moderate level), as it’s been a few years since we’ve done a lot of backpacking. I backpacked with a buddy in Glacier last year and that was a blast. It was just one night, but near 3000 ft elev climb over about 7 miles and v hot temps (90F), so challenging. DW wouldn’t be up for that one! She keeps saying she will bring a donkey to schlep her pack. :lol:

Anyways, thanks for any input you can offer.

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