A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Where are you and where are you going?
shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

Hi. I‘m shelob. Welcome to

A Life Worth Living
shelob‘s journal
Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces


This post is a placeholder. There are a variety of purposes it might get used for at some undefined point in the future.
Last edited by shelob on Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:20 pm, edited 3 times in total.

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

I hope to accomplish several things with this journal.
My main motivation is to force myself to actually think things through. I know that I think best on paper, whereas if my thoughts stay in my mind, they’re prone to run in circles. An advantage to doing this in a somewhat public manner is that the social force might make me more likely to actually take action towards integrating the uglier motivations into my self which these reflections might uncover, as opposed to merely to acknowledge them and carry on. IOW, I’ve determined that I lack authenticity in several key life areas and that switching from a private to a public journal might help me to remedy this.

Before I proceed with the mission statement, I must make a brief interlude to ask a terribly embarrassing Newbie question to any fellow German readers who have read along thus far. The Question: What brokerage do you use?
I currently use Trade Republic, which is completely free if you don’t actually trade and stick to saving plans. However, I’m a bit wary about entrusting them with a significant portion of my stash, since they’re a startup, as opposed to an established firm. What if, for whatever reason, they go bankrupt and have embezzled their client’s investments and I don’t get them back? Is this perhaps an entirely irrational fear? Does it make sense to hedge against it by using several different brokerages? I’m thinking of using the DKB broker for most of my investments, is that any good? I actually wrote an email to Vanguard Deutschland to ask whether they plan to offer their brokerage services to private investors. They don’t. So yeah, any responses greatly appreciated. Interlude over.

Another aside: The convolutedness and other characteristics of my writing style correlate strongly with whatever I read last, and will therefore vary greatly. I can’t help that. Please just tell me to rephrase if I get too incomprehensible. Actually, this is a blanket invitation to inform me if I violate any of the rules of netiquette, in this journal or elsewhere. Thanks in advance.

I’m going to detail my understanding of several things, including ERE principles, so that I have points of comparison for future perspective shifts. One method of doing this will be to post a selection of successful and failed solutions to various problems I encounter. It will be interesting to see how both the problems and solutions change over time. Of course, there will also be “Exposed! This Month’s Spending”-type posts, but there won’t be a schedule or set interval for either. My job’s demands currently don’t permit that ;-)

Other recurring subjects
Will likely be reflections on how I want to live my life, effective altruism, country-specific issues like the brokerage situation above, random ERE musings that I don’t feel comfortable spamming the respective threads with, other random musings, my financial situation, various projects, reading, investing, whatever else comes up.

(This post lacks structure, and probably the entire journal will. I've realized that I need to lower my internal barrier if I want to follow through on this, and that means accepting rambling, unnecessarily long posts, incoherence from stream-of-consciousness-writing, and lack of structure. I'll try to minimize those as long as it doesn't interfere with my ability to post. Sorry in advance, and please feel free to point out any potential improvements whatsoever.)

About Me

I’m an 18 year old female currently doing Voluntary Military Service in the German Navy.
Assets: 3k in a savings account. Well-paying job (relative to age group). Shelter, medical care and many other things provided.

A probably helpful background information for understanding the current situation is that I’m a Gen Z child of Boomer parents. You can infer from that at what age they had me and what age they are now. I was very much a wanted child. My mother had four miscarriages between my sibling and I. However, as always, they hoped for the best and failed to plan for the worst. Between a nasty selection of health issues and a messy and extended breakup there simply isn’t any financial room to put another child through tertiary education. Or there would be, if they paid the cost of drastically worsened health. I’m not willing to force my parents to do that.

I’ve known for quite some time that I’d have to provide for myself after high school, though initially I expected it for the wrong reasons. This isn’t a shock. To buy myself time while still doing something I perceive as useful, I decided to go for Voluntary Military Service. After initial tribulations, this part of the plan worked, so I’m now at the stage where I have to figure out what comes next.

I think I could put myself through university with a combination of scholarships and part time work.
However, few to none of the degrees I’d be interested in have a good financial ROI. Using monetary usefulness as relevant criterion, I would learn a trade. That’s actually an option I seriously consider. It would probably be something related to making old houses more energy-efficient, since that is something I find both interesting and will be a very widespread problem in Germany in the foreseeable future.

When my enlistment with the army didn’t go as I wanted, I had a six month period to somehow fill with useful bridge activities. I ended up doing an internship that later became unofficial part time employment with two car mechanics who are good friends with my dad. I’ve enjoyed it and learned a great deal, which was even applicable for my soon-to-be position as ship mechanic (which is how I got the idea in the first place). However, it didn’t really play to my strengths. That is my main reservation about learning a trade as my main professional pillar (but holds only limited relevance).
The other thing I did part time was be a main caretaker for my dying grandmother. I’m selfishly glad that’s no longer my responsibility.

My original intention was to quickly change into the officer’s track and enlist for 12+ years. A college degree is included in the package, and it would be one I’m interested in. This option comes with FI practically guaranteed. However, after being inside the system, I don’t find myself wanting to stay here for that long. It has all the trappings of a typical salary job and then some. So, as I realized during the first two weeks that I don’t want to do this salary job thing for twelve years, I went back to the drawing board and reconsidered my options. (Also contrast with my introduction post, where this was still my plan ;-) .) My first idea was to stay in the enlisted soldier branch (the structure doesn’t translate well, sorry) till I have FU money/built part of a FI stache, then do something else, while attempting to figure out diversification of income sources on the way. Since then, a perspective shift has occurred.

I realized that cashflow is more important than total sum of assets, and it makes little sense to buy equities, which I could theoretically sell @3% rule, but would be reluctant to in practice if the stash isn’t comfortably at FI size. Maintaining a positive saving rate and all that. So, my current plan is to stay 2-5 years in the army and figure out cash flow during that time. The details are as follows:

- invest mainly in dividend paying stocks, to maintain inflow without touching principal
-try out the various income diversification projects I have in my drawer, none of which are at the trial stage
-(main pillar) become a reservist after enlistment period (~34 days/year possible commitment).

Then I would go to university, and study something because it interests me, maybe economics+history. I have lots of ideas for what I could do with the things I’d learn, and even more things I could do in general, nearly all of which require the financial situation to be solved.

The beauty of the reservist thing is that I know there are people who did what I described above employment-wise and paid for their civilian college degree through the reservist work mainly or only. Doing the two other things as well seems like it makes the plan as a whole fairly robust.
There are details to hash out, such as
-whether I will also work on building up a traditional FI @3% portfolio in addition to the dividend one (I’m leaning towards yes)
-whether I stay in the rank and file (?) branch of the military or apply to become an officer (of the reserves). I don’t fully understand how this option works, but it doesn’t seem to have the pesky 12 year enlistment requirement.

Changing branches would have the advantage that it’s a more high-status occupation, so perhaps everyone who is currently nagging will back off. I’ve been told by close and distant family, friends, comrades, and superior officers that I’m “selling myself below value” in the current branch. Making the switch could therefore have social capital related advantages.
OTOH, if I’m being honest, I’m unsure if I want to go for that or something similar precisely for status-related reasons. Sure, I could apply myself to getting as far ahead within the rat race as is possible, which in relative terms might be quite far, but why should I? There is a bit of Atlas-Shrugged-like defiance at play. Sure, I might get far, but I can’t win, because the house always wins. So why should I play the game? I’m not clear what my own stance is here, and I find it terribly hard to communicate. Of course, the ultimate freedom isn’t to eschew anything society views as high-status, but to simply not consider it at all within one’s undertakings. I’m just terribly annoyed by a lot of people’s expectations.
OTOOH, I also considered how to maintain a normal-to-high status facade for a variety of reasons, the prettiest of which would be that it might facilitate, or not hinder, outreach work [for causes I care about].
OTOOOH, the officer track includes crewing on the sailing ship Gorch Fock, which would be awesome and a major plus IMO.

My thoughts on this aren’t getting any clearer, so I’ll stop. I originally wanted to cover a lot more things in my first journal post, including all recurring subjects, but it’s also 6 am and I haven’t slept yet. My home leave is nearing its end, and I need to watch my sleep pattern. :? :evil: :roll:


To conclude, my MAIN GOAL for the next five years, the journey towards which I’ll document here, is to make sure that I’ll never again be in a position where I’m forced to do salary-type work. If I do, it will not be for reasons that are low in the needs hierarchy. Should it become necessary to meet those needs through something resembling the traditional types of employment, it would preferably be through self-employment.
Last edited by shelob on Thu Oct 07, 2021 9:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

nesaro
Posts: 21
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2020 7:17 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by nesaro »

Welcome shelob!
shelob wrote:
Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:19 pm
I currently use Trade Republic, which is completely free if you don’t actually trade and stick to saving plans. However, I’m a bit wary about entrusting them with a significant portion of my stash, since they’re a startup, as opposed to an established firm. What if, for whatever reason, they go bankrupt and have embezzled their client’s investments and I don’t get them back?
My understanding is that - short of fraud - brokers only digitally keep your stocks, but you're still the legal owner. So in case of bankruptcy, all of your stocks will be transfered to another broker. This could be a major and long hassle though and you wouldn't be able to trade during the transfer.

shelob wrote:
Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:19 pm
Does it make sense to hedge against it by using several different brokerages?
You could diversify and try to use their terms and conditions to your advantage, e. g. a broker that doesn't charge for dividend payments for your income stocks plus a broker without fees in percentage of managed assets for a growth portfolio.

shelob wrote:
Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:19 pm
Other recurring subjects
Will likely be reflections on how I want to live my life, effective altruism, country-specific issues like the brokerage situation above, random ERE musings that I don’t feel comfortable spamming the respective threads with, other random musings, my financial situation, various projects, reading, investing, whatever else comes up.
Looking forward to that!

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

Hi, thanks for the welcome.
It probably wasn't your intention, but you just hit me on the head with a ton of bricks. I was running around with a terrible tunnel vision while ignoring the obvious solutions right in front of me, which I seem to be doing a lot lately. So thanks a lot for the wake-up.

It occurred to me that the most obvious solution for my problem of lack of trust in brokers (and banks) is to align my interest with that of many other people, preferably powerful ones. So I went and checked where I could get similar conditions to my current broker, and found Scalable Capital. 250 000 investors use it for five billion €. If they fuck up, someone will probably make sure investors can transfer their stocks elsewhere. With Trade Republic, average invested sum per investor is much lower, as they're essentially Europe's Robinhood. SC also offers a much wider selection of stocks and ETFs, including one I wanted to buy but couldn't with TR. So I went ahead and opened my second brokerage account a few minutes ago. Again many thanks for the impulse.

I still need to figure out what I do with which, but I have ideas :lol:


:arrow: To recap: I hereby report the brokerage problem as solved! :D :D :D

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

Proceeding with the program. Caution, boring post ahead.

In which I take stock of my current spending and explore aspects of a potential semi-ERE budget using the 21 day makeover as guideline



My first world problem here is that lots of my spending or lack thereof is tied to my job, and whatever systems I set up for when I’m semi-ERE’d will be quite different. Extrapolating current spending patterns since starting my job in april and not forgetting about e.g. the driver’s license I did before that actually puts me in the range of 0,7-1,3 JAFI, conditional on the pecuniary advantages from my job.

I don’t understand everything that goes into the JAFI. Mhh.
- it seems to be the minimum spending level required for maintaining a semblance of normalcy. Given that I’m not even in my twenties yet, this won’t be an important consideration for another decade or so.
-it’s also derived from what one person’s fair share of our planet’s finite resources is. At the surface/zeroth order (?), there could be significant differences of ecological impact in different $8k/year budgets, e.g. if someone bootstraps a racecar driving or airplane flying hobby or flies a lot using bonus miles within that or not. OTOH, it can be assumed that each dollar spent/ returned to the general economy has the average dollar’s worth of impact there, meaning total spent is still a good approximation of environmental impact regardless of how the budget is used. I’m confused.
Still, it seems to be difficult to consume drastically more than one’s fair share of resources on an approx. ~$8k/year budget, as it forces one to look for market inefficiencies such as drastically undervalued used goods.

Current plan is to plan for ~1,3-1,5 JAFI spending during semi-ERE to account for initial lack of skill. This is part of a larger strategy which in my notes has the title Hedging My Moral Bets (tbc). Spending goal obviously subject to revision.

Housing
Due to living on base, I currently have an ERE housing score of 0 or 0,04 depending on whether I count the pecuniary advantage’s effects on my net salary. My future shipmates and I were told we would have to find places off base due to EU working time directive shenanigans. When I dug up my future direct superior officer’s phone number, he said it wouldn’t apply to us. So, it’s either:
- I get to keep living on base, but since it’s no longer obligatory 100€ would be deducted from my salary. Score 1.
-A comrade looked around and found a flat four people could share that would work out to 250€/person with utilities included. Score 2,5.
-(preferred, but unlikely solution)I get to live aboard. Might lead to negative score.

After I’m done with the salary thing, there are the standard college solutions for the college period. Otherwise I’ve been fascinated by tiny houses for several years now, might want to try van-dwelling at some point, there might be a has-aspects-of-a-homestead-thing with family I could get involved in (probably not all year though), and I have a vague plan to relocate to certain cities for months at a time (Prague, Paris,…). Nothing spectacular here. The “learn to be easy to live with” thing (thread: viewtopic.php?f=14&t=11957 ) continues to be high priority.


Stuff
Had a minimalism phase a while back, so no hair on fire situation here. It’s pretty much either books (though new acquisitions are preferably digital), DIY equipment, or potential DIY material. And a bit of random stuff. Half is at my Mum’s place, the other is already shipped to my Dad’s future place. Issue: I might have to replicate some structures, like bed and desk. Set myself a 200€ max budget for that. Could downsize further and sell a number of things, but it’s low priority.


Sustenation
During basic training I was required to eat all meals in the mess hall at 8,50€/day except dinner fri/sat/sun. Then I would either get a small item like French fries when my comrades had food delivered, or simply eat my leftovers from breakfast, or both. The latter (which got imitated by quite a few comrades, lol) brought the average on those days down to ~6€/day. => current food spending <250€/month.
Going forward, I’ll no longer be required to eat in the mess hall for all meals, but it’s very hassle-free and has helped with getting a clothes size’s worth of obese tissue off my body. Also socialization reasons. I’m not expecting drastic changes in my food budget soon.

Over the last year I learned to prepare basic and a few intermediate recipes (e.g. lasagna) to a level where the results are edible but often not really great. My focus was on fitness food such as protein bars and protein bread with a bit of general experimentation thrown in (e.g. substituting various things in a basic bread recipe). I’m going to approach the issue a bit more systematically and get various cooking books by e.g. Jack Monroe and take cooking classes. Priority medium since I’m already confident in my ability to fulfill basic caloric needs at ~50-75€/month using the on-sale-staples-loss-leaders strategy.


Cell phone plan
Still on Mum’s plan till december, impossible to cancel before that. Will get prepaid afterwards.

Free hobby/getting engaged/…
Not a problem. Mostly reading+writing+inexpensive sports, with potential to turn net cashflow positive.
Maybe I should count DIY as hobby, in the sense that others have a shopping hobby, and right now the time requirement is similar. I mostly see it as a form of income / income substitution.
On further reflection, the last time I experienced boredom was in late childhood when I was getting interested in various things but lacked the means to engage. Attaining both the time and means is my main motivation for pursuing ERE. It’s what I’m retiring towards to.

Budgeting
I understand the (basic version of the) maths of calculating depreciation and X in principal being required for Y passive income. It’s not yet a consideration I make automatically, and I struggle with estimating e.g. resale value (Looking up the current price for the item, fine, but how do I estimate how much I’ll actually wear it down, likelihood I’ll damage it, market changes, likelihood that I’ll e.g. trade it for social capital by gifting it to a friend,...?). My current solution is to have a line in my budget (around 100-200€* in the last months) called “Misc spending” requiring X in principal which I try to reduce and keep down. See “successes and fails” category, coming soon.

*this number may sound horrible, but it’s all the money I spend that isn’t food, fees or insurance. And yes, in theory it could be 0€. I need to figure out why exactly this didn’t happen.

For traditional budgeting I have an app that does this for me. It’s called finanzguru and the German Bank is somehow behind it. It works by connecting all one’s accounts (in theory, apparently Trade Republic hasn’t yet finished their API or whatever), defining income and spending categories and then see what happens in each category, trends, percentages etc. I’m aware that there are potentially massive privacy issues and it’s only about 80% of the functionality I’d like to have, but the information is quite useful to me at the moment and I’m historically unlikely to persist in tracking my spending manually. So this is the current optimum solution.

Insurance
I carry private liability insurance at 35€/year and travel health insurance at 8€/year. All else -health, chronic/elder care, mandatory contributions towards the German pension system – the Navy does for me.
I also chose to become a member of the Armed Forces Members Association (Deutscher Bundeswehrverband) at 144€/year, which includes a professional liability insurance, though that’s not the reason for my membership. They mainly act as a support network and protect our interests from idiotic politicians. The total sum of the pay increases and fringe benefits I get due to their negotiations are several times the membership fee, so there’s that. I haven’t made use of the network yet, but once I have to figure out the bureaucratic side of income diversification and filing taxes I definitely will.


Going carfree
I don’t own a car (though I have a license) and can ride trains for free in all of Germany as long as I wear my uniform (it’s part of a government program to turn the Armed Forces into a more attractive employer). However, I sometimes need to haul quite a lot of stuff, so I might get a fixer-upper Japanese compact car for that. (There’s quite a long story behind that.) I’m not totally satisfied with the total sum of effects of this project in a fishbone diagram, but I’m quite confident I can turn it into a financial net zero. Definitely wrt to ownership, maybe even gasoline. But net zero in terms of ecological effects? Not so much.


Owning classics
Funnily enough, that article was the first ERE post I ever read. It affirmed an opinion I previously held, and as humans are wont to do, thereby made me inclined to give the rest of the site a look.
Silverware for the win!
As far as e.g. classical clothes are concerned, I don’t actually know enough to make sensible buying decisions. I generally strive for quality in my purchases, and if I find it aesthetically pleasing, that’s a bonus. This sometimes coincides with society’s ideas of classics.

MISC
I never enjoyed TV. DIY was the standard modus operandi where I grew up, though usually accompanied by a rant about the horribleness of this aspect of our lives and how much it sucks that we don’t have enough money to just throw it at problems, obvious flaws of this proposition notwithstanding.
I have a 7€/year membership for the Youth Hostel Association, from last year’s travel. Investing will get its own post(s).




Writing this was intermittently exhausting, but I find it important to know where I’m at, since it’s the basis for all change. I often had to stop myself from going off on tangents. They were going to go into a separate post, but now it's late at night again. Incidentally, I don't know when I'll have time for the next posts. I'm off to visit family and otherwise be social, and then my home leave ends. :P

Sabaka
Posts: 135
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2017 9:41 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by Sabaka »

Hiya Shelob!

Welcome to the forums! Really interesting to read your first couple of posts as we share a couple of similarities between us (gen Z, profession, trying to never rely on salary-type work). I can understand the difficulties choosing between the officer route or the enlisted route, it's a common dilemma here also. One thing I might say is that from your posts it seems like you might be quite a "hands-on" type of person. I'm not sure how it works in the German military, but here officers spend a large proportion of their time involved in management/admin/bureaucracy rather than their trade. That might be something consider from a job satisfaction point of view :)

Again I'm not sure how it works in the German military, but here enlisted soldiers can gain loads of degree-level credits (or even whole degrees) whilst working/training. This is the route I'm hoping to pursue, gaining a bachelor level degree whilst in the military, so then on leaving (whenever that may be) I have more options (studying for a masters or just greater job availability). This might be an option to consider for yourself as opposed to starting a degree once you have left the regular service and started as a reservist.

Looking forward to reading more of your posts! :)

P.S: I just searched the Gorch Foch, that does look awesome! Plus you're so lucky you get free train travel!! Train costs are killing me at the moment :lol:

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

Hey, thanks for the welcome also!

The last two weeks were my first two weeks at sea and very demanding in a variety of ways. I've now managed to reduce my sleep deficit during my first weekend off and decided to catch up here before we leave port again tonight.

@Sabaka, I just started reading your journal (not up to the current posts yet though), and wow, we really do share many similarities. I look forward to reading the rest of it!

It's interesting that you gained the impression that I'm a hands-on type of person, though I can see how my posts suggested that. It got me thinking about how thinking of myself as a certain kind of person is probably quite limiting.  I guess it decreases the likelihood of transcending one's preconceived notion of oneself.
The background is that I always thought of myself as a very theoretical person, or rather as  "predominantly existing in my mindscape". It's difficult to estimate, but my lifelong average is probably around 2-6 hours per day spent thinking-daydreaming. Hands-on stuff often has the advantage that it can be done on autopilot.
Part of my criterion for my next activity directly after school was that it had to involve learning more practical skills, since, aside from a very limited set of DIY skills, I had practically none. That's starting to change. It's also getting clear that that's not playing to my strengths. So I'll stay on as long as I have a steep learning curve (there are loads of opportunities there). It's not guaranteed that I will actually get accepted into the officer's track once I transition into the reserves, but it's probably a good idea to try. Given that I intend to serve in the Reserves as one of my income streams long term,  the relevant set of criterions changes quite a bit.


BTW, it sounds like enlisted soldiers have more advantages in Britain than they have here. We have three branches for historical reasons, and if you want to obtain training that's officially recognised outside of the military, you have to choose either the 2nd or the 3rd branch, neither of which is possible with an enlistment of less than 12 years if you want to obtain said training. I am quite certain I do not want to be a soldier fulltime for that long ;) , though if none of my other plans work out, there are much worse alternatives.
This doesn't mean you can't learn a ton in the enlisted branch, it just doesn't give you any certifications like an apprenticeship or degree would (2nd and 3rd branch respectively). There are a myriad of ways how the experience I gain here can and will be helpful for many different kinds of work, just not any that have one of the traditional gatekeepers standing before them.

The Reserves are quite different, and I have the suspicion that that's one of the reasons they have a certain stigma associated with them. There are many questions I need to answer before making further commitments. Luckily, there are currently Reservists serving aboard my ship, so I'll see if I can talk with one of them.




I'm currently writing on my phone, so won't write that much till my next home leave where I can pick up a larger electrical device. A few very quick updates.


While at sea, I have virtually no costs of living. Food etc is free. At the home port that's different, but we haven't been there yet so I have no numbers, only that it won't be much and I won't be required to look for an apartment. We also get extra pay depending on what we do at sea, and while I have no concrete numbers yet, I do know that it will be massive. I did not know this, but it changes the financial side of my calculations by quite a bit.


I'll do an in depth analysis of my spending later, once I have access to a device that does not aggravate me so. There is room for improvement ;) E.g. yesterday I spent 13.50€ in a restaurant getting to know my shipmates and 22.50€ buying 5 white t-shirts required to complete my uniform. This level of spending is still less than the social norm around here, since, those with expensive addictions or debt problems aside, everyone has way more money than they can sensibly use.
Though some of the money leaving my hands had a somewhat less sensible justification :lol:



I wrote a potential cashflow statement in my notebook, and notes on various jobs with their respective requirements, but my time to post them here is running short. I'm a fireman, and preparations to leave harbor will soon commence. Use of personal time is subject to the requirements of the service :P

The last really drastic update to my situation is that, given that we live in a time of unimaginable abundance and other reasons, I've pledged to donate 10% of my lifetime income to whatever cause I honestly believe will best benefit humanity. I planned to write way more about that, how I do the accounting, what causes qualify (in short: whatever my conscience dictates, though those who are interested can read up on the effective altruism movement) and much more. Fun fact: I'm not making a huge deal of this. Other than my Mum, this forum is only the 2nd place where I mention it, even though I took the Pledge a few weeks ago. Given the not negligible impact on my personal finances, I wanted to include it in the update, even though it would be much better to write a single longer post about it. That post will come soonish though, along with all the other subjects currently sitting idle and undebated, uncontested in my notebook.


Heave away! ;)

Bonde
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon May 31, 2021 5:21 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by Bonde »

Nice journal!

I saw an youtuber talk about the 10% pledge some months ago. It totally makes sense but I have a hard time comitting when I'm in the accumulating phase of ER. In the past 8 years or so I have donated 4-8% of my income. Actually more in the early years when I still was a student. Then it was maybe 25% but I had a large nest egg.

Concerning studying I cannot think of any good advice other than maybe moving to Denmark and make use of our free education. I think it is possible to get the student stipend that all Danes get if you as a foreigner (EU) take a part-time job which is what most Danes have anyway to afford travelling doing breakes. It is possible to live of the stipend alone if you find a cheap apartment or dorm. We have some nice dorms where people usually gets friends with those that they live with. Danes can be perceived as unfriendly but I think it is due to us having rather small social circles, esspecially +30yo when you have kids and have very little off time. While studying it is a lot easier to meet people and find friends.

I look forward to follow your journal.

sky
Posts: 1726
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:20 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by sky »

You might consider saving up an amount that you plan to donate at the end of your life, rather than donating during the accumulation phase. You will probably want to hold a certain amount of wealth even to the very end of your life, and you can designate the donation to your preferred charity in your will. That way you can use the wealth to build investments to live from, and still give a large amount to the charity.

MeloTheMelon
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2021 2:18 am
Location: Germany

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by MeloTheMelon »

Hey there,
how did I not see that you started a journal :o
Anyways, I'll add some of my thoughts to your current situation.

The army is a great way to get you towards ERE. I considered that too, but 6 months of compulsory service (sometimes having a second citizenship can have it's downsides :? ) kinda showed me that it wasn't for me. But the low cost of living and the immense bonus payments for all kinds of extra duty can help a lot when starting out.
I'm still keeping the "army option" as plan Z, if everything else fails I can still join them.

You're also on a great track, starting young can give you a lot of momentum that others won't have.
-try out the various income diversification projects I have in my drawer, none of which are at the trial stage
That's something I'm working on right now too, I think at one point reducing expenses only gives diminishing returns on the amount of time you have to put into. I rather put that time into projects that generate some side income.
If you want to bounce of some ideas, feel free to shoot me a message :D

Small note on the long and "rambling" posts. Those are usually more fun to read than the short money updates anyways, so don't think too much about it.

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

Hey there, thanks to everyone who stopped by.
MeloTheMelon wrote:
Tue Jul 20, 2021 5:39 am

Small note on the long and "rambling" posts. Those are usually more fun to read than the short money updates anyways, so don't think too much about it.
That’s good to hear, because I’m wholly unused to writing things other people might read, and have a bit of a hard time figuring out what is potentially interesting to others, and communicating it in a manner that does not require the other person to be a mind-reader. :oops:

Re: donations in the accumulation phase
I absolutely agree that one should help oneself before helping others. Now, where to draw the line? Everyone has to figure it out for themselves, and find an answer that satisfies their own consciousness. Obviously, a valid answer (and, it seems, post people’s default) is “never”. I actually have sympathy for that, for treating-yourself-as-your-own-favourite-charity type* reasoning. My own answer is somewhere along the lines of
1)being able to meet my financial obligations
2)having the reasonable expectation that this will continue to be the case, and
3)having an emergency fund.
And yes, it will delay my time to FI. But if I have to work full time for six years or even seven rather than five before I can declare the financial aspect of life “mostly solved”, then so what? Why does it matter? In fact, I don’t think it will matter even that much, but more on that below.

*that’s the answer given by many interviewees in The Millionaire Next Door when they were asked about their charitable contributions, IIRC

What I’m getting at is that I don’t think “having enough money so you never need to work again” is where I personally want to draw the line.

In the interest of full disclosure: During my first month at work, I almost reconsidered. I hadn’t anticipated that working full time would be so damn exhausting, that this “earning money” thing would actually be so difficult. Then I got used to it.

I guess that this is as good a time to answer the “why” as any. What got me convinced was this essay.
It’s important to note that for me it’s not about moral obligation, or about discharging a debt. I never agreed to take on either. What matters, instead, are a few simple considerations.
1) My needs, given that I live in an environment of abundance, require less money to fulfill than I am likely to earn, and I do not expect to ever be a prodigious earner.
2) Some ailments have been cheaply preventable and cheaply treatable for decades, and yet countless people die from them every year. I consider this to be a failure of humankind.
2.5) When I see something going wrong, I try to do something about it. Whatever difference I make may be tiny, but I do hope it adds up over a lifetime.
3) Let’s assume, just for a moment, that effective giving became a social norm, a quality people find desirable in their friends, associates, and potential mates. If everyone did it, like Scott Alexander notes in the essay linked above, we would fulfill the UN development goals within weeks. If it became just a widely accepted rather than universal norm, we would still not recognize our planet and species within the decade. That’s just counting the first order effects of the money given, not any second order effects, like the drastically reduced amount of money we would spend on crap destined for the landfills.
3.5) This concerns just me personally, but I have a very clear preference for living in that world, rather than the one we currently have. Therefore, I take action to make that world a reality.

If you’re concerned about charity overhead or other ineffective use of funds, that’s a very valid concern. The vast majority of charitable giving has very little impact, and some is actively harmful. Donating to an efficient charity, rather than one that’s frequently on the news, can have orders of magnitude more impact. How much? Well, $3000-5000 to the Against Malaria Foundation currently save a life. I am unable to come up with something better to do with my money, a fact that wasn’t changed when I learned about FIRE.



@Bonde
Hey, that’s still a sizeable percentage! And it sounds like your long-term average is higher than 10%. Plus, there’s no shame in not wanting to sign a formal commitment. I thought a lot about the risks, particularly the social penalty if I get into a situation where I am unable to keep the pledge, and how to mitigate them. Ultimately, I do expect I will be able to live up to it, and that it will not hinder my other goals much. Or at all, I don’t have the references on hand, but I think signaling altruism often helps people get career opportunities. However, when I worried about whether I would be able to live up to it, a few key thoughts that appeased my worry were:
1) since the pledge is fairly flexible, I’ll probably front-load my donations by donating 20% for a while, building up a “donation credit”. That way, if I need liquidity quickly because stocks are on sale or for whatever reason, I have some time of not giving anything until it averages to the percentage I committed to. They don’t throw you out for building up “donation debt”, btw ;) You can donate if and when it works with your life situation.
2)if I am indeed in a situation where I am absolutely unable to make do with 90% of my income (which already seems unlikely considering how much other people waste on e.g. cigarettes while still somehow getting by), then I do not think having 100% would solve the problem. I would have to take drastic measures anyway to get out of whatever unlikely hypothetical situation in which this would be a concern :lol: :oops:
If I’m fully honest, a considerable part of my motivation for signing the pledge, as opposed to just quietly making my donations, had to do with social signaling. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, just a relatively overt way of telling the world where you stand. And of defending against certain kinds of social attacks (through one’s reputation). OTOH, it might invite people to come and take your money, since you must have more than you need. I’ll have to carefully think about how much I’ll advertise this life decision IRL :)
Concerning studying: Cool, I hadn’t thought of that, thanks for the suggestion! I try to not lock in on a plan prematurely, so more options to consider is always a good thing.

@sky
As part of my stache that I might designate for charitable giving in my will, or a donor-advised trust fund? The latter option is e.g. not something I would include in my net worth. There is a lot of debate about giving now vs later . Mostly it depends on if the effects of your donation compound faster than the rate of return you would get if you invested the money instead, and the Ben-Franklin-Method certainly has a lot of good arguments going for it. However, giving 10% now doesn’t stop me from leaving money to charity in my will, and might inspire others. I’m also a fan of “taking action in the face of uncertainty” and remaining open to possible adjustments to your course, so I might update this decision later.


@Melo
Well then, welcome in my humble abode, and lemme guess, you served in the infantry, right? :)
I’m really, really glad I picked the Navy, though at the time where I ticked that box on a sheet of paper, it was just for Voluntary Service and I didn’t think it through, mostly because back then, aged 16 maybe, I had no idea what the decision would entail. “I really like ships” seemed like as good a reason as any, and I pretty much got lucky, because it turns out I really like seafaring too. The other option I considered was the cyber force, which probably also would have been a good decision.

The military generally offers a very diverse selection of occupations, and infantry service is definitely something where only a certain kind of person really thrives, if I’m being intelligible. I had infantry basic training, and it hasn’t hurt me to dig a position deep enough for me to stand in under the scalding sun and then “defend” that position against the instructors with drill ammo throughout the night. (Other than turning me into a zombie by exhaustion.) But I’m really, really glad that in all probability I won’t have to do something like that ever again. So, if you do end up ever being forced to activate your plan Z, which I really don’t expect, it doesn’t have to be a complete disaster. You could probably start with a higher rank (lieutenant, I think, since you have a completed course of study) and other perks in the cyber force ;) Or go for the Reserves right away, in the interest of income diversification. Last I heard, the cyber division is massively understaffed :)
It’s not without disadvantages though, and those usually aren’t the ones you expect and are ready for. For example, I was sure I’d be fine during extended periods at sea, as long as I can bring my ebook reader. What I wasn’t prepared for was how many people are not fine and do stupid shit as a result. It’s annoying, and I have to consciously treat it as an exercise for my “mental shields” so the stupid shit isn’t contagious. From what I hear, the other divisions are different, but no better in this regard.

BTW, I think the greatest advantage of starting at my age is having a blank slate on which I can consciously design my lifestyle, without having to fight the inertia of the status quo.

When I graduated high school, I knew I had to do two things: achieve a stable financial situation to avoid repeating my parents’ story, and make sure I would have enough time to dedicate to uneconomical pursuits such as writing. The best solution I could come up with back then was to become a state employee (Beamter), either in the legal profession or in the military. The Voluntary Service was meant as a compromise between doing something useful, gaining career capital and buying myself time before I make a decision. Obviously, FIRE is a much better solution than the one I came up with a year ago, so I am really glad I discovered it in time.

Thanks a lot for the invitation to bounce ideas, I’ll try to message you soon then!





Income diversification


I should start by saying that one of my long-term goals is an income robustness score of at least 3, and preferably achieve at least a 2 through passive sources only. Since setting up that kind of system takes time, there will be a transition phase from the current situation of “dependent on salary by one (1) employer” to a resilient system.

It also bears mentioning that most of my current actions are geared towards a mid- to long-term payoff, since there is the problem that my employer really, really does not encourage pursuits outside of the military. Because I’m still doing Voluntary Service (FWDL) rather than Regular Service (SaZ), and need to pass an evaluation before I can apply for a status change, I try to avoid doing anything that signals less than 100% commitment and dedication. Afterwards, I don’t need to ask permission for anything vaguely artistic, but I do have to give a notice of the activity before I take it up. There might be income limitations too (40% of base salary I think?). I don’t expect this to give me much trouble after the status change, I just need to be careful for another three months.

Then there’s this:
shelob wrote:
Thu Jun 24, 2021 11:19 pm

However, few to none of the degrees I’d be interested in have a good financial ROI. Using monetary usefulness as relevant criterion, I would learn a trade. That’s actually an option I seriously consider. It would probably be something related to making old houses more energy-efficient, since that is something I find both interesting and will be a very widespread problem in Germany in the foreseeable future.
It seems that serendipity will help me with this one.



Generally, it seems like I’m maxing my income potential relative to my age group (I might come in at around 40k net next year.) For even more money I would have to start a successful business, work on an oil platform, or paint overhead line masts, all of which I at least briefly considered. For now, though, I am satisfied with my income and want to work on building up income streams that will persist after I leave my current employment situation, and that won’t dry up all at once during a variety of different economic conditions.

So, my thoughts are:

Active income sources, aka trading time for money

- Reservist (1 - 3 months a year): still have no good estimate of income, probably around 0,5-1,5 JAFI.
To fully make use of this beyond my thirties, I would have to spend up to a year getting trained to switch into the petty officer or officer track.

- doing jobs in the context of a family business, see my quote above. Actually renovating old houses so that they become energy-efficient while maintaining code compliance would be a business requiring massive overhead. Unless it’s a life-in flip, which would interest me, but the German state generally does not make this easy via suffocating creative problem solving under an avalanche of regulations. However, a family member believes to have identified a niche within the realm of domestic fuel that is much more scalable &c and has asked me if I want to work with him after leaving the active service. All certifications &c I would need would be paid for by the family business. Naturally I said yes.

- signing on on a civilian ship. I still need to do research on this one, but my preliminary thoughts are that it would lend itself well to working only part of the year (semi-ERE) and that it provides me with a way of crossing the ocean if I want to visit another continent.
Probable requirements for making this a viable option:
While I currently work as machinist/fireman, I will in all probability not gain any job certification whatsoever that is recognized by civilian employers whilst in the service. I do not want to be restricted to just one potential employer (aka the German Navy) for working in what seems like I might call it my chosen profession. Hence my current intention to complete a civilian apprenticeship. This traditionally takes three years, but I might be able to do it in less. Learning a trade would also make it easier to take advantage of opportunities such as the one above, and much more.


Passive sources of income:

-Dividends/Investment income: assuming a dividend yield >3%, this would need 100k or so for providing ~0,5JAFI in semi-ERE, though I would have to keep investing into this portfolio until it actually covers expenses + safety margin (all dividends beyond 3% of portfolio value should be reinvested, yes?)

- the VG Wort, which is a collecting society (think GEMA, only for the written word) for e.g. royalties from public lending rights of having your work available in libraries etc, pays out 45€/year for each text that’s at least 1,5k long and has at least 1,5k local views per year. If I start a political blog like I’ve been dragging my heels on for a while now, this might cover my expenses after a year or two. I do intend to hold off on further political engagement until I’m in a more secure position in life. But I also work on a novel that I’ve planned to publish as webnovel from the beginning, and have many more drafts in my drawer. The challenge here would be to get 1500 people to read my wacky fantasy story full of beginner writer mistakes :lol:
Risk: getting canceled, changes to legislation making my texts ineligible, discontinuation of payouts, or decrease of said payouts.
Hence why resilience is important.


Smaller things:
- There are a few things I could try to write and then self-publish on Amazon. Think “How To Drive Cheaply And Do Your Own Basic Car Maintenance”. Or create online courses or something. Also a certain genre of fiction that I know nothing about but that allegedly is profitable. I have maybe ten ideas or so in this general category.
Pros: would be hella fun, leads to more writing experience.
Con: probably horrible hourly wage.

- print on demand content. I first read about t-shirt designs, but this can be expanded to other printables. Given my rather limited graphic design skills, my designs would be rather text-based, but so what. I keep a list of currently over 100 design ideas, the making of which was helluva fun. Financially I expect this to be an utter flop, but a few of my designs I want to wear myself, and I would learn a lot about the paperwork and tax side of running a business. Plus, there is actually a possibility that I could pitch this to my superior officer.

Tiny things:
- apparently you can get up to 40€ compensation for donating blood plasma, and donate more often than regular blood too. Someone calculated that it’s possible to get as much as 2k/year tax free through donating as often as the legal limits allow. I would heavily advise against maxing this for health reasons, but donating blood is a very good thing to do, and it seems like a good idea for acute cashflow problems.
-speaking of acute cashflow problems, there’s the payback point system. I currently have about 63€ worth of points, accumulated through clever use of coupons since january. (No, I did not buy anything I otherwise wouldn’t have, and 50€ of that are the Payback Amex credit card signup bonus. ) Since I can spend them at any participating discounter chain, that’s one month’s worth of food.
(-I suppose credit card churning would belong here, though if I grok this correctly, because banks are much more regulated here than in America, it’s much less profitable. Still, I find the thought satisfying that banks are paying me for the privilege of having my business.)

I don’t want to set up a system in which acute cashflow problems actually occur, but it’s little things like this that help my psyche to feel a whole lot more at ease with the whole “alternative lifestyle” thing. They sorta provide a mental floor for “what is the worst that could happen”.



On side hustles, closing the loops and integrity:

One of my long-term goals is eating only or mostly meat or fish that I or a family member fished or hunted. (Yes, I have a hunting permit, yes it’s family tradition, no we really aren’t rich.) Currently I fail utterly due to the meal selection at the mess hall, and general lack of acting in accordance with values. Ok, not so bad, but still.
Ever since I got my permit at 16, it has been bothering me that we throw away so much of the game we hunt. I’ve been gathering books and making connections to tanners from whom I might learn how to tan foxskins and wild boar skins, so that I can eventually start a local/etsy business where I sell what we would otherwise waste. My goal with this would be to offset the other costs of hunting so we’d get our meat for free, though if I want to include training ammo in this calculation, it would have to be extremely profitable. Clearly this is labor-intensive, is the first business-y thing on the list that has actual startup costs and therefore poses a financial risk, and will lead to a low hourly wage. However, if I want to continue eating meat, I feel it’s important that I pursue this. (I tried to be a vegetarian for 1,5 years, it didn’t work out.)


I’m not done writing about earning money and side hustles, but cannot find my notes rn. Also should probably stop screwing with my sleep schedule.

P.S. As you may have guessed by the length of the post, I’m writing on my laptop, as I’m on pre-deployment home leave. Exciting times are to come.

MeloTheMelon
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2021 2:18 am
Location: Germany

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by MeloTheMelon »

Well then, welcome in my humble abode, and lemme guess, you served in the infantry, right? :)
The base focused on army radio, but after 5 weeks of basic training they assigned me to the headquarter building as a secretary or somthing like that. It meant that I was in direct report to the highest ranks in the base, which were pretty relaxed compared to others. I did a couple menial taks every day (getting everyone their newspaper, buying coffee beans or milk, watering the plants, that kind of stuff), in total I probably "worked" for an hour or two a day. I spent the rest on exercising and reading. I had a nice leather recliner in the attic storage room which I used to read in and whenever they needed me for something they'd send me a whatsapp message :lol:
I'm definitely grateful for that, it was pretty useful in the sense that I got to educate myself instead of doing some useless tasks the other people had to do. I also had a kind of "bullshit" shield because every request from an instructor or lower level soldier had to go through my boss who usually declined every request that he felt didn't make any sense.

The cyber division would have made a lot of sense for me, but the problem was that I filled out the paperwork when I was 17 and then started my service after finishing my bachelors degree. So when I was 17 the cyber division didn't exist yet, and when I started my service they couldn't move me over because of a bunch of bureaucratic reasons. It was pretty funny because while they taught people who had no clue about computers to become cyber soldiers they asked me for advice whenever something was wrong because I actually studied that field :lol:

In the end, I just think I'm not made for all of the rules going on the army, I don't want to have to follow orders just because someone has a higher rank, and I definitely am not a fan of all the formalities, like saluting , flag ceremonies and that stuff.
And well, I would have to take a lower salary if I'd start in the army :/

On some other points:

If you are considering donating blood, another option would be to participate in different science experiments, those usually have an alright hourly rate and can also help with cashflow problems.

On writing fiction, what I kept stumbling upon when it came to self-published fiction is that all of the writers making a living from it write on one (or multiple) series, because if the reader finishes book one, kindle automatically recommends book 2 and they can buy it directly there. It's also why you see it quite often that book 1 is free while the next ones are not.
There are also a bunch of good resources online to improve your craft, one example would be Brandon Sanderson university class on writing fiction, which you can watch for free on his YouTube. Other than that I really enjoyed Stephen Kings book On Writing.
Further you could think about writing short stories in the beginning. They are easier to complete and edit, while you can also try out different genres and styles. There is still a market for short stories, especially if you are writing in english. Although you shouldn't expect too much from it when you are just starting out. In theory those would also work for the VG Wort, although I am not sure about the rules for short stories.

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

Sounds like you had a reasonably good experience relative to the circumstances! And I totally get not being into the formal stuff. OTOH I find openly communicated rules for behaviour that can be looked up in a book easier than unspoken rules, at least in most environments.

Science experiment participation is a great idea, I'll look it up, thanks! :-)


Good point on self-marketing! And I haven't forgotten that 1000 true fans concept that you linked.  Just need to think about how to incorporate it with the stories I feel inspired to write. And I definitely need to start showing people my work, because there's only so far you can get in your personal bubble.
Thanks for the yt recommendation, I'll check it out. On writing is a great book. Unfortunately King is too good at giving me nightmares, or I'd read way more of his work.
I like helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/ . If you combine it e.g. with Jordan Peterson's work on why we tell stories (the first bible series lecture is a good introduction) and the concepts like story structure, character arc and the like really start to make sense.









THE SUCCESSES AND FAILS POST, WRITTEN-ON-MY-PHONE EDITION
I'm going to list a number of problems I solved without money, and some where I failed to do so. The idea is that if I do this exercise again after a certain amount of time has elapsed, I'll have perspective both on the types of problems I encounter and my responses to them.

These occurred in the last months, no particular order. Not a complete list.



- when I spent half of my time at Mum's and Dad's respectively, I had a fully stocked hygienic pouch etc at each place et cetera. So when basic training approached, I intended to sew an even better one, rather than buy it... then I realised how pointless it was to triplicate an already dublicate structure especially if my time was about to be split 95-2.5-2.5 rather than 50-50. So I used one of the existing pouches.

-after basic training, I had no jeans that wasn't both the wrong size and shredded. But thanks to the weight loss, my sister's hand me downs now fit.

- I have an unusual shoe size (eu 43) and have trouble finding shoes in retail stores. Enter a female acquaintance with the same problem, whose sister also has this problem. The sister has a shoe store for women with oversize feet and often gives her sister pairs. If she doesn't want or need them for whatever reason, she passes them on to me. Including a pair of high end winter boots :shock:

- related to the above, I had trouble with the official uniform dress shoes and got permission to wear a privately acquired pair. Rather than buy one for a 2 h occasion, I borrowed them from her and returned them in a better condition. Win-win.


- my purse faded into individual threads, so I used leather and fabric from a broken sofa at my parent's former place to make 2 new ones, one for storage and one for daily use, purely from materials that would otherwise have gone into the thrash.

- we don't have a lot of storage space aboard, so I took a few leftover floorboards from the renovation at my dad's new place to make two boxes with smaller components for more efficient space usage.

-made an account at open library and read a book there that I'd otherwise have bought.


-A while back I had a waveboard I wasn't using, so I gave it to my cousin who wanted one. When I visited her and we messed around with it, she mentioned that at a place she used to work at, there was a corner they referred to as "bermuda triangle ". You could get rid of just about anything there, and take what you had a use for. She found two pair of cross country skis, one in my size. The region my dad moved to has heavy winter. We traded. :-)

- I said that for furnishing my room at dad's place I'd set myself a budget of 200€. Now I've upped the challenge to only spend money on stuff that comes from selling stuff. That fund is currently at 0€ because I haven't got around to taking photos etc. But I've acquired unused furniture from my relatives, including a bed that has storage space below and an antique wardrobe. A book shelf solution was also found, so I'm now only missing a desk.




Now the fail category.

-had to buy a towel with my unit's logo because I misinterpreted the packing list. 20€

-there were several other instances of idiotic spending I can't recall rn. Maybe 100-200€ total? I'll pay attention from now on because there's a category in my budgeting app I can't quite make sense of.

- money spent in an attempt to fit in with a group, when I really would have been better off standing my ground *



* I have a theory based on experience that social skills x your weirdness factor =  weirdness you can get away with. If your visible weirdness is more than the left side of the equation, you face a social penalty for the difference plus interest. I tried to minimise that when I should have invested in the social skills related to standing one's ground in a reasonable manner. Before going to my current station I changed strategies and the new one is working better so far.

Otherwise looking through the transactions in my app, which sometimes are vaguely labeled, I don't see any obvious BS. More social spending than I'd anticipated, for catching up with friends, getting to know my shipmates and so on. A few things that were sensible, like 25€ for writing software, 10€ for 12 notebooks,... I started work in april with 900€ left and have now about €6k, donated a lot the entire time, salary is 1400€ net, it makes sense.

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

Hey there. I’m stepping by with an update after the last months, though it feels like much longer than just two three months. I’d say that I’m hoping the craziness that was my last two months will finally subside, but it doesn’t seem very likely. I’ve managed to wrestle back control of my life from the ever-present agents of chaos that were pulling me onto paths leading to really-not-so-nice places.

(This was written over multiple writing sessions and may seem disorderly and disjointed. Also, sorry for the rambling.)

It’s strange how much one can change in a relatively short timeframe. I feel barely connected to my old posts, let alone private journal entries from a year ago or older still. Those posts seem naive and childish to me, and the challenges I was worrying about then are not the same ones I’m worrying about now. But definitely not all my changes were for the better. Maybe most weren’t.

I have this tradition, rooted in something I did when I was 14, that every year on 17 september I write a letter to my future self aged by one year, and open last year’s letter. It was mostly intended to improve my own forecasting ability on both personal matters and world affairs, and to check up on my plans and goals. Every year until now, reading my old letter made me laugh at the uselessness of the things I’d been worrying about, how much I’d been caught up in a tunnel perspective on this or that subject, and other indicators of not solving my problems but outgrowing them. That’s still true. My old way of looking at the world was not exactly a child’s perspective of the world; rather, it was a fairly adult view of a very small world. I’m past that. But I also have to deal, for the first time, with changes that are both unexpected and unwelcome.

I knew of the things happening to most people who join the military before I signed. They just seemed… theoretical. Like something that happens to others. But not me. So reading my old journal entry, I was hit on the head with how… dull I’d become. Uncaring. Selfish. Indifferent. (Selfish not in the sense of being inconsiderate. Outwardly I’ve become a lot more considerate because I’m more aware of other’s needs and the requirements of living in harmony with others. Selfish in the sense that my inner response to whatever often is “I don’t give a damn. I just can’t bring myself to care.”)



Now a time skip to one month later. Writing the above felt cathartic, but I didn’t post it because I ran out of time to write about the context, outlook etc. Also, did I mention how often I just was Too Damn Tired? Well, now I did.

Part of it was having to go sea-watch while having a much higher workload while not on watch. Not getting enough sleep and having my sleeping time split in 2+ phases proved abject horror and aggravated every other tiny little problem. * With distance, I find it genuinely funny how I brought it on myself by being so fast at obtaining the watch-capability requirements, getting the first and most important one after only two months. (Recently a guy transferred out of my unit because he couldn't get it after 1.5 years. Turns out his problems were not unlike my own, only I didn’t know it at the time.) The better I got at practical tasks, the more tasks I got assigned. And so on.

(*I recently googled polyphasic sleep. What the actual f---???? How?!? And why would someone do that voluntarily??? Seriously, what am I missing?)

Problem number two with much farther-reaching consequences: Not getting along socially with the people in my unit.

When I came here, I was initially very shy, because I was painfully aware that I was the stranger who didn’t belong in a variety of ways, and because I’m actually quite bad at the kind of hands-on stuff that’s my job. I came here to learn it, after all. When I told my best friend of my shyness at work, she was incredulous because it was so unlike me. Now, when people point out to me how I changed, I answer that that I temporarily lost my confidence but since rediscovered it.

The list of people with whom I can hold a meaningful conversation still isn’t very long, and with 1.5 exceptions it’s people outside of my unit. With the people I work with 90%+ of non-work conversations make me want to bang my head against a wall just don’t interest me, I don’t watch those TV programs and don’t find any of the actresses pretty and I don’t want to hear the details of people’s less-than-ideal sex life, sorry. And no, I don’t show that. I just stopped attending any outing that wasn’t mandatory. They were massive time and energy sinks on top of my actual job which is a black hole for both.

When I write it out like that, it seems obvious that the situation wasn’t sustainable. Now, I’m a very determined person. That’s a good trait when it comes to getting certified watch-capable, but the flip side of this trait is stubbornness when it would have been better to recoup my losses. Then a series of fortunate events happened. (Yay serendipity!)

It’s funny how a single conversation can change someone’s life. I remember when I was younger, I had to attend religious lessons from the local community. I was already atheist back then at 14 or so, but my parents thought I should attend because it would keep my options open. (I dropped out quickly and later resigned from the church.) One of the lessons was a practical visit with a pastor who cared for homeless people. My upbringing was not actually very sheltered, so unlike most other suburb kids, the drugs and crime realities of the poor quarters didn’t shock me. When we trudged back in uncomfortable silence, I walked up to him and asked him why he did what he did.

The question surprised him. I’m not sure why. (What constitutes normal behavior from moderately well-off 14-year-olds in such a situation?)

After a moment of consideration, he replied: “Because someone has to do it.”

(I’m writing this because I have the day off and want to write something, and it’s been on my mind, and also because it helps illustrate the dilemmata I find myself in.)
The thing about my division is that we have a crazy workload because we’re understaffed (and have even less people who are actually good). We’re the technicians, so without us, nothing works. At the same time, what I can say with my very limited knowledge and perspective about my ship’s current mission is that it is actually sensible. So, when I get asked why I do what I do, I always say eventually: “Because someone has to do it.”

And that is why I came. Because, between high school and university, I wanted to do something useful for the community I grew up in, from whose public schools and infrastructure I’ve benefited. It’s an ideal I got from the Scouts, but when I made my decision I was also thinking about that afternoon in my city’s northern quarters.

I’m probably terribly naive when I say that I think I might be making a difference, whatever that means, however little I understand the global context and the consequences. But if I weren’t here, who knows how long it might take to even fill my position again, and then train up the next person to be watch-capable and so on. Maybe it wouldn't even take long. I have no idea. I am going to request a transfer anyway.

I made that decision after a conversation with a psychologist who got flown in during a recreation phase. It proved to be a catalyst for a variety of decisions with far-reaching consequences. Like I said, a single conversation and all that. Who knows how long it would have taken me to figure this stuff out on my own.

We talked about many things, like how I dislike my day-to-day tasks because after the initial thrill of learning them has disappeared, they are monotonous and boring, and don’t leave room for anything else, and the shallowness of my relationship with my comrades (this was when I still attended non-mandatory events and had few points of contact with anyone else) and my subsequent loneliness, and the feeling of my brain slowly dying off. He pointed out the obvious, meaning that
I’m utterly misplaced, both socially and because the job really isn’t optimal for me. Like, Not At All.

I intentionally applied for hands-on technical work because I wanted to broaden my skill base, and because I had done something similar before. I also thought I would be doing this for much less time than I’m currently signed up for (one year instead of two) and had no intention of staying in the enlisted track. Now I’m looking at up to 4 years in my current position to hit my savings targets and then go to university as a civilian.

He asked me if the terms fluid and crystallized intelligence were familiar to me, and when I said yes, that I would not be living up to my full potential long-term if I stay in my current role. (What he actually said was something more drastic.)

Anyway, long story short, I told my superior I want to request a transfer. He is a good judge of people and was utterly unsurprised. I think he’s glad, because he is a better superior than I would have imagined possible, and really cares about what is best for the people under his command. He supported my request wholeheartedly. Telling this story seems straightforward, but it involved a lot of soul-searching and anguish. Forest for the trees and all that.

At some point I figured out that there were people in operations, navigation, logistics, communication and so on, with whom I got along much better. I’m still socially awkward, but a common base wavelength is there. One of them observed that those who score high in analytical skills in the aptitude test usually end up in those positions.

I did a short internship in operations last weekend, and was scheduled to intern in the other departments when I got sick in the wake of a vaccination. (It has to be in my free time as much as possible, hence the weekend.) I expect that before we return home, which isn’t long off now, I’ll know what unit I want to transfer to, and can send off my request into the mills of bureaucracy.

Most of those departments are also wringing their hands in search of people, and nobody’s helped if I get a burnout in my current job. That’s the best resolution of my dilemma I can come to.

Most of those departments also have, AFAICT, less workload while not on sea-watch because their main tasks are done during sea-watch. I hope that I’ll have more time for private projects. If it turns out I don’t, I’ll reconsider my decision to re-up for 4 years and see if I can’t find some other way to hit my savings targets. But I’m optimistic.

Aside from my current writing projects, I’ve stumbled upon the possibility of doing remote studies at a university specializing at that (Fernuni Hagen) and finishing with a Bachelor’s degree at the same time where my enlistment ends. I still plan to study history and economics at a normal university after my enlistment, but given how much I love literature and philosophy, I intend to sign up for cultural sciences, which is a combination of just that and history. And yes, I know, “If you study a major you love you’ll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn’t hiring”, and all that. This isn’t for my CV though, but because I’m genuinely interested and would learn about those subjects anyway. Actually, it does benefit my CV, because, as someone once said to me, my current job is a dead-end job and and being in one’s mid-twenties with neither a learned trade nor a degree is maybe not a smart thing to be unless you gained something else during that time. Which brings me to my last point for today’s update, because I’m running out of time again and I’ll go out to eat with people whose company I enjoy and look forward to :-) :-) :-)

Monies

After 8 months on the job, I’ve saved 15k while donating 10%. The shift in mindset is… astonishing. Assuming normal student expenses, I have over a year of expenses in the bank. I no longer worry about “cashflow problems” and some such. Even if nothing works as planned, I have more than enough time to figure out what to do before I have to worry about what to eat.

Assuming current trends continue, after my enlistment ends I’ll have over 100k saved and figured out an investment strategy. I don’t think I’ll prioritize cash flow/ dividend income in my investments, because I’m young enough to work part-time while engaging in not-very-profitable projects. Even if I only manage to protect my principal against inflation and maintain a modest savings rate, I’ll be materially secure in midlife, and not have to worry about standing there at 40 with little to show for my trouble. That’s the broad strokes of my current strategy.


I have much more to think and write about, from ERE tactics and strategy to projects and purpose, but that’s it for today. Thanks to everyone who has read so far, and especially to everyone who commented. If I promised at some point that I would write in your journal/threads and haven’t yet, it’s because I literally haven’t had the time and I intend to rectify that as soon as I possibly can!

Best wishes,

shelob

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

Saying “my job is stressful” doesn’t really convey my meaning. Also, they say writing helps and I can sleep till noon tomorrow, so here goes.

I should explain what exactly it is that is so stressful. I mean, aside from the obvious like the sleep rhythm of sea watch and the contagiousness of stupid behavior. People being in leadership positions who shouldn’t be or haven’t yet learned how to be a good leader. A high-ranking person had to leave the ship because of sexual assault allegations but the official story doesn’t make sense. The hazards of working a dangerous job in an exhausted and sleep-deprived state.
I once tried to pick up something that had slipped from my fingers and fallen down the shaft alley, and, being too tired to be in my right mind, and too ashamed to admit my mistake, tried to climb down the shaft alley to pick it up. Then I lost my balance and fell. Tumbled right against the starboard shaft. The shaft is built to transmit the ship’s motive power, to keep this gigantic steel collossus splitting the waves. It doesn’t care if there’s a puny skin bag filled with meat and bones in its way. It was purely dumb luck – the sea was calm and we weren’t doing any maneuvers – and the fact that our work uniform is designed to be form-fitting – so it doesn’t get caught in any moving parts of machinery – that saved me from a grisly death on that day. I still shudder when I think about it, which is every time I have to climb down the starboard shaft alley. My dad does too, apparently, ever since I told him about it on the phone.

On the upside, at least I know now that I’m not going in any massively wrong directions in my life. My only regrets were fairly minor. It flashed right through me – I can’t die here. I’m not done yet. There are things I still need to do. I can’t die here. - This is a stupid way to go, for nothing but my stupidity and pride – this is stupid. (Obviously much less articulated in the heat of the moment.) The adrenaline and fear brought enough clarity back to my thoughts that I abandoned my quest to pick up the fallen tool and just climbed back out of the shaft alley. I slipped twice more on the oily ladder, but caught myself every time. When I made it back to the platform, I was so drenched in cold sweat that some part of my mind noted that my clothes were probably going to smell badly later.

Now, this must sound like a traumatizing experience. It really wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t my first close call - I met a bear once in a North American forest, though that wasn’t as dangerous. The thing about dangerous situations is that adrenaline makes it manageable. Sure, you’re in danger, but your fate now depends on your actions. You act and somehow you do the right thing. (If you live to tell the tale.) Modern society shields us from all kinds of dangers, so people rarely get into dangerous situations unless they seek them out. In my parent’s youth not very long ago, it seems the world was wilder, less densely populated and less regulated, and they have many stories like this one.
Like I said, it wasn’t so bad. What is bad is being in a situation your mind tells you is dangerous and having no way to do something, anything about it.

We’re not in training. We have an actual mission. Armed conflict with terrorist organizations, smugglers or whoever else is highly unlikely, but possible. We knew it could happen, we signed being aware of the possibility. And something did happen. One sunday afternoon we got called to our action stations for real.
It later turned out to have been some kind of false alarm. I still don’t know exactly what it was, our officers aren’t so great at communicating with the lower ranks. The thing is, my action station is the starboard engine room. We’re almost completely cut off from any information flows. All I knew was “yellow air warning, low slow flyer”. For all I knew, there was an airplane flying towards us that carried a stolen dirty bomb. And while we waited for anything to happen, I imagined scenario after scenario how such a thing could happen, and ultimately convinced myself that it was happening. Here’s my admission: I did not have my mind under control.
I want to stress that, objectively, the danger wasn’t that high. The greater part of it existed only in my mind. Because I reasoned myself into thinking that the worst case scenario was also the most likely. And the more I thought about it, the worse it became. I genuinely thought I was going to die that day. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe. Sure, I can come up with metaphors, I’ve seen it described in fiction, though it’s perhaps doubtful if most authors are writing from experience.

If I had to find a description, I’d say it’s like a massive inner void, a vacuum that implodes your form and crushes you, where the void is the absence of everyone you’ll never see again and everything you’re now never gonna do. But the description is lacking. Or maybe what’s lacking is my imagination, maybe some people really can imagine the experience in a way that comes close to the real thing. I couldn't, before. Now I can. I think that staying calm in the face of certain death is one of the hardest things a human being can do. Those on death row who manage to preserve their composure at their execution have my highest respect, irrespective of the reason of the death sentence.

The end of the story is that I got my mind back under control. Thinking of loved ones and future plans made everything worse, but wasn’t as horrible as the realization that I did not want this place, this grey steel cage below the ocean’s surface, to be the place where I die. I wanted to see the sky.
I’m not sure why, but I did.
My superior noticed my panic, and told me to sit down and take deep breaths. I did and started to revise my training. What pump I have to control when, the ABCDE schemata of first aid, and so on. It worked like magic. I calmed down and went back to my job. The next time it happens, I’ll be prepared, I’ll know what to do. I’ll know how to deal with my mind.
Lastly, I want to say that at no point I was completely incapable of doing what I had to do. I remained functioning throughout. We did have so-called stress-injured on that day. Which, incidentally, makes me rather pessimistic about any eventuality where Europe actually has to defend itself against violent aggression, or where my ship has to ward off an actual attack. But that’s not for me to worry about, since I cannot influence it anyway.

So, this is another aspect of what I meant when I wrote about choosing your reaction to external stimuli. Sorry for everyone who came here for a discussion of personal finance and ended up reading through this.

That's it, enough whining for today. I may post a few random thoughts later, if I can get them to resemble something like a haphazardous organization.

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

1) Instead of thinking about things bigger than myself, I’ve mostly been busy putting out fires in my own life, fighting tooth and nail to get enough sleep and often failing, trying to get a minimum of physical exercise in, struggling with stress eating, and being very unhappy throughout.

1.1) Aboard this ship, I’ve met very few people who have been seafarers for a while and who seem both physically and mentally healthy and capable of withstanding the challenges and pressures of the job. Everyone else either has a substance abuse problem (alcohol, tobacco etc, food,…) or gaming/gambling/shopping whatever problems, or social problems (meaning they are bullies/assholes to others, in different ways), of course with the degrees of severity varying wildly. In my current unit this is particularly rampant, and it goes a long way towards explaining our very low retention quote of new personnel. Almost everyone who gets transferred to us either quickly requests a transfer or just doesn’t re-up when they were originally planning to do so. I was the outlier in the statistic until I wasn’t. Leaving my own problems of not fitting in completely aside, the work environment is just. Well. Insert your own adjective.

I think it would be alright if everyone acknowledged that what we do is stressful, and try to deal with it as best they can, and help others if it’s within their means to do so. I’ve seen plenty of that also, and been helped by others and tried to pay it forward. I’m very grateful for that. However, if there are too many people actively trying to make it worse, and trying to get others to also engage in their unhealthy behaviors, there just isn’t so much you can do. This is a huge reason why I am requesting a transfer, and I’m waiting with the decision to re-up.

1.2) My plan of working for four years and then having the financial aspect of life mostly solved is not a bad idea, if the price I pay is not too high. I’ve seen what I could become. Sure, our salary is great, 2-3x the country’s median while at sea and virtually no living expenses (I spent a total of 30€ one month). But that’s just not worth it. Therefore, it becomes a necessity to:

1.3) What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
It’s been observed that whatever psychological or other problems you have, being at sea will bring them out, aggravate them. Human beings are creatures of habit. If you reacted to stress with sport, you will become one of those who treat their sport as a religion, which, all things considered, is the best coping strategy I’ve seen in action. If you’re like me and tend to combat stress with chocolate, well.
Like I said, there are a few people who seem to be mentally and physically healthy and who are just really awesome, wonderful people. I’ve been trying all this time to figure out how they do it, and what I can do to become one of them. My conclusions:
Making healthy coping strategies a habit,
And becoming as psychologically healthy as you can, doing “shadow-work” if necessary.
Getting along as well as you can with the people you see the most, learning conflict resolution, clear communication etc. So you end up making your lives mutually better.
This is a huge opportunity for positive change. But the stakes are high.

1.4)The first time I’ve sat in a therapist’s office for depression I was 15 or so. I learned to deal with it back then, but looking through my diary entries from the last months (mostly written sitting on the toilet, because I literally did not have more time), in hindsight it’s clear that I was falling back into it. Since identifying the underlying issues and taking steps to improve them I’ve been on an upward trajectory, and my mood baseline is much better, leading to an upward spiral where everything else becomes more bearable. There is a distinction and a choice: There are things we can influence and things we cannot, but we can choose our response to the latter. You can stew in misery or you can smile anyway, whatever life throws at you. I’ve been thinking of Albert Camus’ words a lot: Au milieu de l’hiver, j’ai enfin appris qu’il y avait en moi un été invincible. In the midst of winter, I finally found out that there was within me an invincible summer.
(Frankl’s Man’s search for meaning is now on the top of my reading list. )


2) For ERE’d folks, my journal must be fairly boring, because I’m pretty much just learning the how-to of advanced personal finance. Like, I’m fairly sure I understand Yields and Flows, was already thinking that way before I found ERE, and I understand creating synergies and so on, but it doesn’t yet come together in such a way that the end result is a functioning system that does what I want it to do. Clearly more reading is required.

2.1)Since ERE is the beginning, not the end, once you’re through and “ERE’d” you can start the really interesting things. Like think about ERE 2.0. I cannot yet constructively participate in that discussion and don’t have the bandwith available to remedy this rn. It’s really interesting though. So, if ERE1.0 is not being part of the problem, and ERE2.0 is being part of the solution, are you then part of the solution if you spread not being a problem? (I’ve been thinking about a how-to manual from-zero-to-hero sustainable living, essentially How To ERE but with footprint reduction as the carrot rather than FI, therefore appealing to a very different demographic. Are there carrots for most or all demographics? Yes, I’m aware that I have too many ideas for a lifetime.)

2.2)What other approaches are there for being a part of the solution? Permaculture comes to mind, as does decentralized finance. (The thought behind the latter: let’s consider how we’re living far beyond our means just inventing more money and then spending it on very real consumption, and how much useless consumption might not happen if we didn’t print the money to pay for it. Is this thought experiment complete BS? Because I have sketches of a novel in my drawer where this is the central premise.) Also the Effective Altruism movement. Though I’m struggling to reconcile their worldview and perspective on the world’s most pressing problems with what we refer to here as metacrisis. Does anyone know of anyone who is familiar with both, and wrote about it?
Anything else I missed?
In the words of Victor Hugo, a society has to solve two problems, them being the production of goods and their distribution. Surely what I mentioned above cannot be the only novel approaches to this?

2.3) I mentioned that I have developed something I call Hedging My Moral Bets. The idea being that there are a bunch of subjects where I currently do not have an informed opinion (e.g. climate change, the covid pandemic), and there’s a distinct chance that whatever opinion I do come up with after further reading will still not be in alignment in reality, so I’m trying to find out how to act so that I haven’t caused undue harm for either others or myself in either eventuality. This is currently suffering from lack of information, but I haven’t got the time to remedy this.

3)Many modern inventions are really utterly pointless*. Maybe they exist to signal to others how much wealth we have to waste to increase our comfort by an unnoticeably tiny margin. Or don’t improve anything at all, if we’re willing to invest two hours upfront to learn a simple skill, as opposed to spend those two hours working for money so we can buy the solution.

*for most people who use them, for restaurants and the like where the volumes and scales are different the may make sense, but whatever

My list of things I don’t intend to allow into any home of mine now includes: dishwasher, clothesdryer, toaster, potato peeler, electronic mixer. Also a normal television. ( A beamer to create a home-cinema with friends seems fine though.)

4) Can’t recall if I already wrote about it, but I find it helpful to think about considerateness from a systems perspective. Like, there are a number of processes that need to happen. Some are non-person-specific, like thrash that needs to be taken out, or toilet paper restocked. Others are person-specific, like person X has to sleep now so they’re well rested for their 3 am watch. Now the trick is to be aware of all the processes, your own, the general ones and those specific to other people, and ensure the smooth running of all of them.
Maybe the workings of my mind are strange, but thinking about it in those terms has really helped me function well in (very) close space with others. Make of that what you will.

tbc

MeloTheMelon
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2021 2:18 am
Location: Germany

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by MeloTheMelon »

Props to you for realizing how bad your situation is/was. I don't think it's worth the money if you are mentally used up after the couple years of work.
Health should always be the #1 priority, without it all the money isn't worth having.
If I learned something in the last 2 years it is that the saying should be "What doesn't kill you will mutate and try again" :lol:

Good luck with the transfer :)


Oh and I agree on polyphasic sleep sounding terrible. I think I heard about that in DaVinci's routine but he did it to an extreme

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by shelob »

@Melo
Thanks :-)
Yes, that’s right. I guess I, like most humans, have a tendency to devalue what we have until it’s gone. I intend to live in good health as long as I can, so I really need to start prioritizing it now.

I think I’ve observed the tendency in me to always prioritize some other goal – watch-capability, the internships – over sport at the margin. By which I mean, the moment I have room to breathe, I’m jogging on deck. But my actual list of values (= how I actually spend my free time, as opposed to how I would like to spend it) , based on how I lived the last couple months, seems to be something like #1 reading, #2 requirements of the service, #3 health. I often simply didn’t get to #3. The choice often was simply “go to sport or go to sleep” and I chose sleeping. Not sure if that was the wisest thing to do, but it also wasn’t the worst ;)

I really hope that will be changed for the next deployment, otherwise I’ll reconsider what to do.

Our network connection was between terrible and nonexistent the last couple of days, so whenever I tried to post, the forum wouldn't load. What follows is a continuation of the above, on a hopefully more upbeat note.

(Section IV is what I wrote just now.)


(And yes, this too was mostly written instead of sleeping. But I lucked out on the watch rotation this sea turn, so I’m still fairly well-rested on top of tagging along in additional watches on top of my own in other departments.)




In which I consider the options available to me, realize there are a few other subjects on my mind, and go off on a tangent before circling back to the original subject.



I’m writing this asynchronously, since we’re pretty much offline rn. I’m still amazed that the internet connection even allowed me to post the other journal entries and respond to DM’s (many thanks for that DM btw, it really made my day!).
I’ve heard it is good practice to name your feelings, so here it is: I’m exhausted and tired. That’s it.
I’m not actually “down”, most of the time, just feeling like I could sleep for a week.

There’s shades of grey to everything. I’ve finally found people who I really like and admire and with whom I can talk for hours, whose company I enjoy. The loneliness I felt for the first months at sea has disappeared.
We had another engine disturbance exercise today, the second where I was in a directing position. I’m finally getting the impression that I know what I’m doing, and my supervisor says I’m making great progress. “Just another couple exercises, so you’ll gain routine, and it’ll be really good.” I’m not actually bad at what I do, it’s just that I’m used to being outstanding in academic pursuits and now I’m merely good. I’m learning quickly by objective measures, just not as fast as I’m used to.

Our next deployment will be twice as long as this one, and I’m counting the days till the chop-out. I’m not homesick; I don’t usually get homesickness. I’m just really looking forward to spending a couple of days on my own, with absolutely no one around. I’m not sure what I’d do if our current mission were as long as the next one will be. It seems fairly obvious that my current position is too high-intensity for me. Maybe it’s not the position per se, just my position + the watch-capability training and now the various internships so I can figure out where to transfer to. Either of those is probably comparable to one of the major projects I want to undertake next year, and I’m not willing to just not do those. So I should probably transfer to something that’s lower intensity.

Like I said, I’ve been considering communications, operations and navigation. The only department where I’ve done an internship so far is operations, which I really liked. It was interesting and, to a considerable degree, played to my strengths. Of course, as an enlisted soldier, you’re essentially “a better-paid secretary”, meaning that after the initial excitement has worn off it gets boring. I know the hours are less crazy than in my current position, but I’m unsure how much. Comms and navi might be lower intensity still. I’ve arranged for an internship for one and still need to talk to people for the other. That said, it might get down to where there are open positions available. AFAIK, there are open positions everywhere, but who knows. I think I’d be fine with either option.

There’s yet another option: transferring out of the Navy and into the Cyber Force. My dad thinks that’s a good idea if only because there’s a chance it might lead to IT security career capital, whereas what I do now is dead-end for everything except the Reserves. I’m very interested in cyber security, but only for personal reasons: I think that it’s a very important field to be aware of in the coming decades if one’s aim is to live freely and self-governed. However, it’s doubtful if the German military is 1) up to date in that area, and 2) if, being untrained personnel, I’d be getting insights that are actually so valuable.
(We have IT security personnel aboard too, just not from the rank and file, so AFAIK I can’t transfer to that department. Something to investigate.)

My salary would take a hit too, -2k/month for every month that we’re at sea. It would not have the stresses of seafaring, but I doubt it would be relaxed or score high on “work-life balance” questionnaires. OTOH, I’ll get 3+ deployment medals in the Navy, which, I dunno, look good on my CV I guess. So, how seriously should I investigate transferring into the Cyber Force as a possibility?

I like the idea of being mostly done with employed work early in my twenties. I could save up 100k-200k, the groundwork for a FI stache. That’s considerably easier in the Navy. If the transfer to another specialization aboard the same ship can actually counter the adverse effects, then maybe it’s worth it. I’d phase out employment with a few months per year in the Reserves till I’m thirty or so, after which I’d be free to only accept interesting positions that would give me insight into how the world works, like in intelligence. There are capabilities that the German Military does not actually possess in huge numbers, so they rely on their Reservists if they need certain expertise, e.g. law experts (we have one aboard right now) or experts on the relations with certain countries, like Russia. I find this option really appealing, if I can find one or more areas of expertise that fits into my web of goals and that the German Military needs.

(On an aside note: It’s always good to have abilities that are in demand. For example, we might have to take aboard refugees. I really don’t want to have to search them for weapons, which I’d do per default due to my sex. I also speak fluent French. So I volunteered as translator and got accepted. Amazingly enough, the person in charge of this didn’t even want to see my French certs, she just wanted to know where I learned it and accepted “student exchange” as an answer. I guess the lesson is to prioritize actual abilities over fancy certifications. A house of cards built out of the latter will collapse the moment it is tested.)




Then there’s another can of worms that needs to be opened, the sooner the better presumably.
It’s the question of expatriation.

I really like my home country. I like the natural world and the culture, the language, the customs and the quirks. I do not like many aspects of our politics and what you might call the general direction where we’re headed. This isn’t just me: The number of older adults, who don’t know each other and come from wildly different walks of life, who have told me that if they were my age but had their current perspective they would seriously consider leaving, and advised me to at least think about it, is, frankly, astonishing.

There’s something that’s been on my mind for a while now: I’m wondering just how many people, over the course of the twentieth century, would have dearly liked to have a second citizenship. (Also see threads on this site for examples.) And I’m wondering why this century should be different.

I’m eligible for Spanish citizenship through ancestry. I haven’t yet researched the exact requirements that apply to me, but AFAIK it’s something simple like living in Spain one year and passing an easy exam. I’ve been considering to do it, just to have the option and also pass it on to the next generation of the family, should there be one.
Of course, the Mediterranean climate is too hot and dry for me, so there’s that :roll:

An obvious continuation in this line of thought is “if yes, then where to?”. My gut says Canada, the British Isles and Scandinavia are might be good to think about. They have less population density, though I’m not sure that automatically translates to having more freedom to do your thing. But for all that they’re similar in important ways, they probably also have similar problems.

This ties back to something that I’ve so far only been hinting at: Hedging My Moral Bets. I haven’t yet written much about it because there’s far too much where I’m still unclear myself. So, to make this as absolutely clear as I can: the following isn’t anything as certain as opinion or even observation, just gut feeling. It’s in the nature of gut feelings that they’re misleading and unreliable. It’s also in their nature to be very difficult to ignore. They’re like the voice inside your head that says “Don’t!” when your brain, through whatever means, has gotten convinced that it’s logical for you to jump off a cliff. (Ignore my shitty metaphor. I meant to explain how hard, even impossible it would be to ignore the gut feeling, but I’m not sure that’s the message it gets across. So, please ignore it.)

So, what does make my stomach clench?
Mostly it’s an apparent attitude of “the end justifies the means”, if the end is alleged to be some noble moral goal that’s held to be above questioning, that permeates society, most readily apparent but not limited to my own generation.
Examples of goals that were Sacred Cows since I’ve become politically aware: saving the Earth from global warming/climate change, stopping the rise of alleged neo-nazism, saving us all from covid. Obviously, none of those are inherently BS. But each of those has been used as justification for proposals that undermine the democratic process, inhibit open-ended public discussion and instead enhance tribal warfare, and ostracize those who are on the wrong side of whatever fence currently is the rallying point. I’ve been on the wrong side of one of those fences when I was 17, and I’ve utterly lost my trust in a good deal of our societal institutions as a result, like mass media and the decision-making processes of our society.

Of course I’m aware that it may not be a wise idea to let my personal experience color my opinion too much. Hence why I say that there’s too much I don’t know about how the world works for me to have an informed opinion on a number of subjects. I also don’t want this journal to become filled with political debates of whatever kind, and most definitely not about subjects that are against the forum rules.

Now I have the suspicion that people are going to tell me that whatever issues I might currently have with Germany I will not escape from by going to another country, and also that leaving isn’t always the best solution. Yes, I see that too. And I have no idea what I’m gonna do. Except maybe study abroad so I can gather more data, or something.


Related to the above subject, I’m also pretty much past simple activism. I used to have a number of hills I’d readily die on, but now my focus has shifted. It’s not that I’d now completely disagree with my past self’s reasoning, just that I now see most of my past self’s actions as an utter waste of time, a learning experience at best. My current perspective on ideologies is something like: 1) they’re usually built around some kind of model of reality that, like models do, explains some things really well and is wholly blind to others; 2)whichever ideology we belong to usually depends on what benefits us the most, either materially or signalling-wise or both.
Just think of well-off kids that feel good because they wail about social justice, or well-off adults supporting the free market or whatever else is responsible for their material comfort, and so on. Of course this is rarely simple: there’s costly signalling and counter-signalling, markers of ingroups and outgroups and so on.
Following it through these lenses makes most political/ideological debate utterly tiresome. That’s not to say that productive discussions cannot be had; in fact, I founded and used to lead the philosophical debate forum at my old school, and something I saw a number of times and occasionally got as feedback was that someone who was previously a (usually self-proclaimed) -ist stopped “seeing the world as black and white”.

One of the projects I’ve been collecting notes on is a blog of sorts where I’d be writing about ideologies and philosophies past and present and a collection of these-are-the-actual-arguments-not-just-the-strawmen for the memetic tribes (in Peter Limberg’s terms) in the current public debate. The aim would be something like facilitate debate that’s a honest exchange of ideas and goal-/solution-oriented. Something I think we sorely need. (And I, at some point in the future, might not be wholly bad at.)


The last thing that’s been on my mind recently has to do with studying the humanities at university. Sure, there’s the whole thing of “being smart enough to go to college and being smart enough to not do it”. Hence why the option of getting to semi-FI first is so appealing to me. I just really don’t want to become dumber in the years in between through lack of intellectual stimulation.

But it’s dubious if completing a degree remote is possible while in the Navy ( I think the probability that I could do it in the Cyber Force is higher, but these assumptions need to be investigated.) I’ve also said, quite often in conversation with other people, that “I don’t want to be too old when I go to university”. Like, I don’t want to be the 23-year-old sitting next to a bunch of 18-year-olds. Maybe this is an irrational fear. If I’m going to go for something with bad economic ROI like econ+history, then getting to (semi-)FI first is probably one of my better ideas. I just need to make sure that I use the years in between productively, which is mostly a function of “how much leftover energy and time do I have?” Right now, the answer is: not enough.

A (major?) risk of the current FI-first strategy is the dead-endedness of my current job. (Excluding the Reserves, but those are by definition excluded if I end up not staying in Germany). In my notes, the FI stache is only a backup to other incomes, like e.g. writing the above-mentioned blog on substack. But all of those ideas are wholly theoretical, there is none where I’ve completed a proof-of-concept, and I don’t want to plan with them unless I can reasonably estimate if they could generate income. What I mean is, the standard “What if FIRE doesn’t work out?” counter-argument of just going back to work isn’t easily possible here. It might be a good idea to have at least one standard-employment backup plan. I’m not sure if having a bunch of humanities degrees (and one in economics…) constitutes a feasible one.

To counter my own argument above: it seems much more appealing to me to
1) have to dedicate a number of hours each day to activities that meet my needs in frugal ways /go to unusual lengths to save money (but having the rest of the time available for my own pursuits),
rather than
2) having to work 9-to-5 to pay for the “convenient” solutions. With the former, I might not ever need a “normal” job. But I’d rather plan my life in such a manner that I don’t exclude the possibility of a normal career, in case 19-year-old me wasn’t actually that good at making decisions that are good for 29- or 49-year-old me. (🤣 🤣 🤣 )

Anyway. The conclusion I’ve drawn from my own rambling is: I need to seriously consider the Cyber Force option.
Now I gotta stop because my watch will begin soon. Apparently there’s no internet connection right now, so here’s hoping it’ll load.



II.
A day later, but the internet hasn’t been back on yet.
It occurred to me that a number of my goals and projects, including but not limited to a remote degree, would be significantly easier to tend to if I weren’t away so frequently.

IOW, transferring to the cyber force makes sense web-of-goals-wise. The only detriments are less deployment experiences/medals and less cash inflow. The latter could be countered by working longer, till I’m 25 or so.

I’ll stop here, since the room where I normally write during my off hours is occupied and I’m pretty sure my typing is disturbing a comrade’s sleep.


III.

Still writing offline, but the internet connection has been on sporadically. Maybe it’ll post this time.


It’s funny verging on embarrassing how, despite naming my forum avatar after something that has an inherent connection to webs, I still utterly failed to incorporate my web-of-goals into my decision-making.

Yesterday’s thought was that I was failing badly at quite a lot of my goals (indeed you might say: basic functioning) and that it would be easier to achieve all I’ve set out to do with the stressors of seafaring removed. I made a potential plan that went something like this: finish this deployment and the next (probably without changing tracks as it would make the subsequent transfer harder), then add something like 4 years and transfer to the cyber forces, where I would hopefully get to see interesting things and accomplish a significant amount of non-work goals. (I have project lists and a Renaissance skills list, will see if I can get them into a shape to post them later.) Like, a healthy sports and eating routine, to start with.
I’d be 25 when I leave the army and have completed a Bachelor’s degree. I’d also be leanFI.


Then, during yesterday’s watch, I considered everything from a perspective farther removed still.

Let me start by capturing a few fleeting thoughts.

What I’ve stumbled upon a number of times in these forums is that, when people reminisce on their journeys, they find that from a cashflow perspective they could have skipped (most of the) accumulation phase.
The ERE Wheaton Level table even says of the higher levels “NW just a backup to other sources of income & in runaway mode”.
So far I haven’t really thought about the consequences of this because of the added security of FI, the level of redundancy, increased optionality and, last but not least, the credibility a high NW adds to one’s lifestyle design in the eyes of society. Which are all good points. But it may not be necessary to go about it “5 years of ft work → FI”.

The goal of “having the financial aspect of life mostly solved before 25” is certainly an ambitious one.
(The voice in my head that likes to pretend it’s my voice of reason whispers that it’s somewhere between “that’s crazy” and “that will make you crazy”)

And sure, it might be done by e.g. starting a business, if one’s willing to assume the associated risks, which I’m not. I’m also not sure that the entrepreneurial type is a 100% fit for me. So that leaves employed work.
And if one’s goal is FI before 25, then the above option sounds like the best plan I’ve come up with so far.

OTOH, prioritizing accumulation at my current life stage seems like it’ll probably have a bunch of other drawbacks. Starting, but not ending with, neglecting education. And spending one’s most physically and mentally capable years in pursuit of something that’s merely a means to an end. Sure, it lessens some material constrains in the years after, but is it worth it?

I spent yesterday’s watch mulling this over and coming up with something like a hybrid solution.

My current 23-month enlistment ends somewhere early 2023 just shy of my 21th birthday. I could turn this into a three-year enlistment in the Navy, with a track change to an operative department. How much money I’d actually manage to save during this period is unclear, but it’s realistic that it won’t be drastically less than 100k (barring the unforeseen like an injury that prevents me from going on deployment). Saving an average of 30k+/year sounds doable.

If I manage to beat inflation with my stache, aided by a modest savings rate the “money problem” will slowly solve itself.
(Did I mention that I love problems that solve themselves?)

I would go to university and focus on the things I want to do, might get good at with practice, that might be useful for others too. There’s no shortage of those.

At some point during or afterwards, I might want to speed up the accumulation, so I could engage in something more risky of the entrepreneurial sort, or serve several months per year in the Reserves, or go back to active duty, but with a completed degree and as an officer.

I guess the bottom line is: Due to the extremeness of ERE, time to compound doesn’t play as much of a role. It’s not strictly necessary to achieve FI now while in the rank and file, when I could just come back a bit later with a degree and as an officer, with a higher base salary and (much) more interesting tasks. I’d be “correctly sorted”, in Dad’s words. The higher base salary would probably even negate the lost time of not doing it now. I’m pretty sure that’s the better option all around.

A few words about loose ends.

Navy vs Cyber Force
I’m suspecting that I shouldn’t underestimate the amount of street cred I get through having been on overseas deployment multiple times. My “cyber security” problem can be worked on through other means.
My Dad insisted, ever since I came up with my Voluntary Military Service idea, that it would be great on my CV. I didn’t really see why. I saw polite society’s general disdain of all things military, and thought that in terms of employability it would be a net wash at best, but said “fuck that” to employability and, more generally, to conventions. Now I see what he means.

Having completed overseas deployment successfully shows, among other things, perseverance, the ability to withstand extreme adverse circumstances, and having seen (and functioned in) the “real world”. Sure, how good something looks on one’s CV should not be an overvalued criterion. What I’m concerned with is not closing off the “normal life path” option for myself. This isn’t really as dead-ended as I thought, by which I mean it’s possible to integrate it into normal-sounding life narratives. Why that might matter has to do with Endgame (tbc).

My actual, selfish reason for Voluntary Military Service was related to the bit about the “real world” above.
I grew up considerably less sheltered than many other kids at my middle class high school, and was often struck by the Ivory Tower naivete of most of my classmates, teachers, the students and TA’s and who I encountered at science fairs, orientation days and the like, and so on. By which I mean that they seemed ignorant of blue-collar and not-public-sector work and life realities. I decided that I didn’t want to get trapped in such a limited worldview, and made the decision for my next step after school accordingly. So far it’s been working out.

Technical departments vs operational departments

I’m not sure how evident this is to outsiders, but the workload between them differs considerably. The latter have their sets of tasks that needs to be done, which they mostly do on sea watch. The former have their gazillion things that need to be done and then sea watch on top of that. Like I said, I’d hopefully be transferring from a higher to a lower intensity role, but that’s not the only factor.

As a technician, my world ends with the confines of the ship. As an operator, it begins there. I’d absorb a lot more of geopolitics than if I wipe down the diesels all day. This is (very) relevant to me, and is the reason I’d give to someone who I don’t want to burden with the minutiae.

(I don’t regret having started as a technician. It’s given me an insight into the inner workings of the ship that was very fascinating, and will probably prove transferrable to something at some point. A ship is a floating city with all the challenges that implies. Also, if I ever end up as an officer aboard at some point, it will be invaluable.)

Earning my daily bread at uni

(running out of time to write now)
Will mostly figure this out on the go, but I have reason to be optimistic.


tbc

IV.

Endgame

I don’t have a definitive answer to the question of what I want to do with my life. (Yet.)
A few things seem like good ideas though.
80000hours.org is a great website for finding professional inspiration. One of their suggested career paths is economic historian, which seems like a good fit for me. (I wouldn't want to go into academia if I actually had to earn a living there. But while coasting to FI? Why not?) It seems like it might combine well with another of their career paths, the “public intellectual” route; since whatever ideas one comes up with eventually need to be shared with the world. The easiest way to increase your impact is, after all, to get others on board.

My Renaissance projects list, which is constantly growing and evolving, would be more than enough to keep me busy all my life. But what’s the point of that? Our species faces some fairly big problems, and I’ve never been one to ignore problems after they’ve entered my awareness. This isn’t different. But “solving the world’s problems” isn’t an actionable plan. You need some kind of angle of attack. And I’ve determined a while back, before discovering EA/ERE IIRC, that the biggest intersection of things which interest me, things I’m good at and things that might lead to earning money is somewhere at the boundary between history and economics. Possibly philosophy thrown into the mix (of the useful kind, not the Ivory Tower exercises of mental masturbation.) Plus: I’m an alright public speaker.

(There might be another intersection of the three things above for me: creative writing. As for spreading the word, it might be more effective still. But success in that route seems to depend too much on things outside of my circle of control to make it my sole plan. Of course, that objection is similarly valid for the other option. And both probably benefit from a Stoic approach where one does not get worked up over things outside of one’s circle of control.)

So that’s me sketching my endgame while I’m still at the earliest levels of the life game. Obviously it’s subject to revision. But it’s something to keep in mind, to work towards to.

(And yes, I intend to talk to the 80k hours career planners at some point.)

sky
Posts: 1726
Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:20 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, currently in the Armed Forces)

Post by sky »

I enjoy reading your thoughts as you try to define a plan.

As someone who is FI and not doing much other than trying to make small improvements in my life, these are the things I would like to add to my daily activities:

Doing something useful for people, providing a valued service
Doing something to address world or community problems in the most effective way that I can
Being part of a group or organization that is helping improve things in some way
Being part of a group of friends with similar values.

I don't need to work from a money perspective, but I would gladly work at a job to satisfy some or all of these needs.

As someone born as an Auslander and who feels like an immigrant in any country which I happen to be in, I think it is a good idea to travel without the need to commit to a permanent stay anywhere. If you stay somewhere, it should be because you have been offered an opportunity. When the opportunity is past, you are free once again. One can live well in many places in the world. One just needs to learn how to live well.

shelob
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2021 11:04 am

Re: A Life Worth Living (shelob's journal, Gen Z, Germany, serving in the Navy)

Post by shelob »

sky wrote:
Thu Dec 09, 2021 2:42 pm
One can live well in many places in the world. One just needs to learn how to live well.
This! I’ll come back to it in a moment.









To take the slacking job, or not?




I’m too restless to sleep, and I’ve learned that trying to work through what is keeping me awake is better than tossing about endlessly.

Basically, I’m at a crossroads. I’ve already requested a transfer, and my superior officer supports it, but I didn’t specify where to. The end of the current deployment is rapidly approaching, and it would be very advantageous to collect all the necessary signatures on the request before everyone goes on home leave and my papers disappear in bureaucratic hell for who knows how long.

My last internship is scheduled for Friday in navigation, but I’m pretty sure it comes down to a choice between tracks #21 and #28 – communication or operations/surface warfare.

I’ll go through them one after another.

The communications department is responsible for maintaining a connection with the outer world, but they’re only responsible for the tech that is, in the words of the department head, “getting outdated”. IP protocols are the responsibility of the IT department, which doesn’t have rank and file positions. This means that there isn’t much to do besides monitor incoming and outgoing transmissions and pass them on to whoever they’re intended for.

The guy I talked to specifically said that something he has come to appreciate about his job is that it leaves him so much time to study things which advance him, while basically being left alone. We actually had a conversation about investing and asset allocation after that, since we came to the same conclusion wrt our current tax-free extra pay.
Multiple people recommended to me that I should do this if I want to take up distance studies, or generally have bandwidth to dedicate to personal projects.

(Another thing that I thought could be useful is that the somewhat outdated tech would likely make a comeback if humanity has a less-than-rosy future ahead of it, but we aren’t responsible for the upkeep. That’s, again, IT.
Still, if I end up taking this job, I’d want to get an amateur radio license to have a deeper knowledge of the technological background of the things I’d be operating, and it seems that the technical focus of that would compliment the mechanical focus of my last 1.5 years nicely. I might want to do that anyway, for those two reasons.
I wonder, was something like that also the motivation of other people on this forum who’ve gotten this license?)

The other option is operations. This has two options: general operations and electronical/surface warfare. Operations is the department that carries out the ship’s military mission, and whose existence differentiates us from a civilian vessel. GenOps is about monitoring what happens around us and why, while naval warfare has a bunch of other things thrown in (even on peaceful missions).

This is certainly the more demanding and more “busy” job. Less busy than what I do now. Still, I’d be doing a certain amount of boring, repetitive work, like printing out reports and running through the ship distributing them. A “better-paid secretary”, like my shipmate said.

AFAICT, I’m intrinsically interested in this because I’d see a lot of geopolitics, and from an unusual perspective. My thought on this was that if I’m to concern myself with global affairs in the future, this would be beneficial, because of the rare perspective and subsequently gained insights from it. If I’m to believe my shipmate, it would of course eventually get boring, while still being an intensity level that I shouldn’t underestimate. My best guess is that it would still be less stressful than my current role due to somewhat smaller time demand, the greater alignment with my overall strengths, and finding it easier to relate to coworkers.

How much time I’d manage to dedicate to other projects and perhaps distance studies (note to self: need to figure out how I’d take the exams) I don’t know. And I might curse myself in the future, but I somehow can’t really bring myself to take a job because of the slacking opportunities it provides. Maybe I’m not yet cynical enough. Or whatever.

If I request GenOps or Comms, I’d most likely remain aboard the same ship. If I request electronical warfare (yes, that’s really the name, Elektronischer Kampf or EloKa for those who speak German), I’ll almost certainly get transferred to another vessel.
After settling in and finding people I can relate to, that will be yet another source of stress. Perhaps that’s a reason to do it, since it seems likely that skill-wise my currently greatest bottleneck is social.
In high school, this was less apparent, since I rarely met new people and almost never without some kind of shared specialized interest. Now, though…
Let’s say that I’ll benefit from practice. (And that starting over would give me the opportunity to avoid some stupid blunders.) And leave it at that.


If I write it up like that, it seems evident that I should request EloKa. Still I’m uncertain. Do I maybe underestimate the value of having time and energy to pursue my own interests? Does anyone older and wiser reading this want to offer their advice on the subject?


If I formally request any transfer, then I’ll also sign up for at least four years. For each full four years in the army, there are transition payments for a year, so it’s really like working five years. Doing something interesting and unusual, and seeing much of the world. And time to read a book in the evening should normally be there. Still I’m nervous. I’d be throwing myself into the unknown yet again. And then again and again, since while the ship’s in harbour it’s likely I’d get a temporary transfer to other vessels.
I’d looked forward to staying in my current city for a while. To finding a place to take up Krav Maga (I’ve done Aikido and Thai Boxing before covid closed everything). To taking up sports and other activities. To learning the guitar with a shipmate during the next deployment.

Of course, depending on where my next ship has its home base, I might stay here. I’ll know in a few months. Still, I think I should talk to a few people yet again, further clarify a few things.

Also, to quote again:
sky wrote:
Thu Dec 09, 2021 2:42 pm
One can live well in many places in the world. One just needs to learn how to live well.
I would either bring my current problems with me everywhere I go, or learn to deal with them anywhere. Given how much I still have to learn, I probably should just take the option that will provide the greater amount of intrinsic opportunities for growth.


Other concerns: whether a (former) soldier would make such a good spokesperson for effective altruism :? It might turn off people who’d otherwise be inclined to join the movement, which is a huge concern for the 80k hours career advisors and more generally to those planning the movement’s long-term strategy. Of course, that can be turned on its head, through the potential to reach those who might dismiss other speakers. We’re doing UN and EU peacekeeping, but also NATO shenanigans. Not sure what to make of this.



I wanted to write more explicitly about web of goals aspects of the decision, but I’m running out of time. Next watch is in 5 hours, and I have a really annoying exam after that.


In related news, I’ve managed to develop, for the first time, an actually functioning web of goals! :D
My previous failure mode was trying to base the web on the life I’d like to lead, the activities I’d like to pursue, not the one I actually have and do. Of course, there’s still a ton of problems with it.
But what seems to be evident so far is that gaining FU money/ veryveryleanFI now is very beneficial in terms of increasing overall stability and security in the web. But only if the opportunity cost in the “career capital” stock isn’t to high. Which I think it wouldn’t be if I went into the operative department. What’s the opinion of readers on this? Are the benefits related to “understanding the real world” only in my head, or could this help advance a hypothetical career [dealing with any of the subjects/issues mentioned here]?
I’m not sure how to even develop a guess about this.

Sleep is calling now...

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