M2aS’ Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
Married2aSwabian
Posts: 265
Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2021 7:45 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

Will post numbers for May soon...

But first, some philosophy from my Daily Zen book:

In dwelling, live close to the ground.

In thinking, keep to the simple.

In conflict, be fair and generous.

In governing, don’t try to control.

In work, do what you enjoy.

In family life, be completely present.

~ Lao Tzu

Married2aSwabian
Posts: 265
Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2021 7:45 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

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Last edited by Married2aSwabian on Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Gilberto de Piento
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Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Gilberto de Piento »

Married2aSwabian wrote:
Wed Jun 02, 2021 6:45 am
I’ll post a picture of the box when it’s done ... if I can figure out how to upload pics here! On iPad anyway, doesn’t allow copy / paste.
You have to post the pics somewhere else and then link to them. I use imgur but there are lots of photo sharing sites.

Western Red Cedar
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Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:15 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Western Red Cedar »

Here is a link to imgur. That is what I use as it seems to be anonymous as opposed to other sites. After you upload a photo you click a button that says "share links" and choose the link option for forums. Then paste that here. You should be able to see if it works when you click preview on your forum submittal.

https://imgur.com/upload
Married2aSwabian wrote:
Wed Jun 02, 2021 6:45 am

Groceries: $927... still very high. Our son came home from college at end of April and DW isn’t too onboard with trying to lower this number. Justified by not going out to eat at all and eating some organic veggies and fruit as vegetarians. Help! We can’t do too much of a garden, since we live in the woods.
Congrats on the progress, but that grocery bill is very high for 3 people. I totally understand not compromising on this budget category, but I bet you could cut that number in half with a little effort and without a noticeable difference in your diet.

Are you buying mostly seasonal produce? That would be my main tip for cutting down the grocery budget. Buying seasonally and mostly vegetables is good for the budget, health, and your carbon footprint.

I'd also recommend finding a "budget" type of store that sells organic produce. They tend to differ based on your region, but I'm sure they are out there. Summer is a good opportunity to experiment with the grocery budget as there is usually loads of good local produce. Maybe think about a CSA.

Another strategy I implement is a focus on low-cost produce that offers pretty good nutritional value. Cabbage packs a big punch and I usually eat a couple of servings daily. Carrots onions, and garlic are also great. Kale is pretty good. Potatoes too, but they are higher in carbs. I think a lot of this would work well with traditional German cooking.

I suppose it goes without saying, but try to limit your animal products. That also hits on health, cost, and climate change goals.

Cook a much as you can from scratch. DW and I eat like royalty for $250-400 per month.

Married2aSwabian
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Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

Thanks, Gilberto.
Thanks, WRC - will try the Imgur link. I had used another similar site previously, and pasted link in my post, but couldn’t get the image to appear in forum.
We checked out CSA locally and those are also pricey around here: $40 / week for a box of veggies we’d go through in a few days. We will wing it and shop farmers markets to find best values.
We (mainly DW) do cook most meals from scratch and many are rice and lentil based or similar - Indian recipes or similar. Big expense for those is paneer which can cost $5 for a large batch, but that’s good for 2 meals for 3 people.
We do also buy some easy vegetarian meals like veggie burgers or organic soups, which are expensive, but easy options for when we’re working around the homestead and nobody feels like cooking. Maybe that’s something to change.
I also buy stuff like protein bars and protein powder for smoothies - that’s a waste of $ and can be cut out.
At this point, DW is eating nearly vegan diet and except for (local farm) eggs, plain yogurt and a little cheese, so am I.

We shop at Kroger, Walmart, Aldi, Amazon and occasionally Meijer and local Indian grocery - no super-fancy Whole Foods, etc stores.

Thanks for the tips - we’ll try some. A 20% cost reduction from current high level is easily possible.

Married2aSwabian
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Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2021 7:45 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

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Last edited by Married2aSwabian on Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:33 pm, edited 3 times in total.

ertyu
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Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by ertyu »

What's most important is that you are in her corner. Being able to come home to a place where she can be safe and affirmed will make a big difference. It's heartwarming to see that for every transphobic £%$£&^%7 who thinks "decisions" like that better be avoided there are also kind and compassionate parents who can step out of their own preconceived notions in order to be there for their kids the best they can.

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mountainFrugal
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Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by mountainFrugal »

Thank you for sharing about being confused at first, overcoming difficulty, but ultimately being supportive. The world needs more parents like you.

Married2aSwabian
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Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

Thanks, ertyu, thanks MountainFrugal. We’re just doing the best we can to support her and help her maintain good physical and mental health through it all.
The value of acceptance and love did hit home with me recently, though, when my therapist told me, “You have no idea how many people have significant issues as a result of their parents’ lack of understanding, rejection, disowning, etc. over things like sexuality and gender identity.”

ertyu
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Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by ertyu »

"significant issues" is putting it mildly. transgender kids are one of the teen demographics with highest risk of death by suicide. stay strong and keep doing what you're doing :muscle:

7Wannabe5
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Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

I think maybe you live in the same neck of the woods as my adult children and one of them is in the local LGBQT support choir and otherwise involved in the community if your daughter would like some contacts. I was over there last night watching their performance for Pride Week.

Married2aSwabian
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Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2021 7:45 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

ertyu wrote:
Sat Jun 12, 2021 10:23 am
"significant issues" is putting it mildly. transgender kids are one of the teen demographics with highest risk of death by suicide. stay strong and keep doing what you're doing :muscle:
Yes, that is something we’ve been painfully aware of all along. Thanks for the support.

@7WB5, thanks for reaching out. Our daughter has a great group of friends, so she has the support of a peer group and community that extends well beyond mom and dad. If they had a Pride video game marathon, she’d be up for that. ;)

Married2aSwabian
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Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

Here are a few pics of keepsake box I made for my Dad’s 80th.

Image

Image

Image




We filled it with cool “treasures” like Petoskey stones, feathers, notes, a sketch and a couple of 1941 coins from my collection. It meant a lot to him.

It was a lot of fun to make as well. Challenging, but fun. I had about 30 hours of shop time in it from start to finish, but some of that included building and setting up jigs and the tools I bought recently. A lot of hand sanding was involved, too, since I don’t have a power sanding station.

It may be one of the best examples of DIY skills being irreplaceable. Honestly, there isn’t much we could have purchased anywhere at any price that would have meant more.
Last edited by Married2aSwabian on Thu Dec 30, 2021 8:48 am, edited 5 times in total.

Married2aSwabian
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Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2021 7:45 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

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Last edited by Married2aSwabian on Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Married2aSwabian
Posts: 265
Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2021 7:45 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

Last night we watched “Office Space” written and directed by Mike Judge. :lol:
Hadn’t seen it before. OMG that completely captures a couple of places I’ve worked and the reason this forum is so important! Get me the fuck outta here! :D

We also invested a few grand in BABA late last week (DW’s idea and IRA) as it seems like a bargain right now. Regulatory risks with Beijing remain for sure. Anyone else following / investing there?

Married2aSwabian
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Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

Jacob’s post today, “Get a Push Lawn Mower” is one of my favorites. I’ve read (and commented on) it before and I’m pretty sure it’s also in the ERE book … it just hits home!

This is mainly because up until I moved to Germany the first time and met and got engaged to DW, I was also a brainwashed American WRT the all-important WASPy lush lawn. :) Where does this even come from? Jolly old England and the Royal gardens? Tons of advertising by the Scott’s company and Toro during baseball games showing the perfect “field of dreams” leading us to believe happiness can only be reached by making our lawn match that standard?

DW started recalibrating my “lawn standards” about 25 years ago. We haven’t put any fertilizer or other chemicals down since. Thankfully, the house we moved to 3 years ago is on 3 acres in the woods, so between the shade and sandy soil, grass grows very slowly, if at all. We can mow about once a month. Gradually replacing lawn with ground cover and native perennials that tolerate shade.

We do live next to a subdivision which is of the kind primarily inhabited by OCD lawn fanatics. WTF is all the effort for when no one, and I mean NO ONE, spends five minutes on the grass except to spray chemicals, mow, water or examine the work of someone paid to do so?! As kids, we used to do crazy things like play waffle ball, frisbee and football on the grass … and it was dangerous, because there were many of the dreaded Dandelions in the grass. I am not kidding. And there was no software involved either - this was virtual reality, without the “virtual”! :lol:

Married2aSwabian
Posts: 265
Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2021 7:45 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

We’ll, it’s official. After talking with my Vanguard advisor (I call him the Boy Wonder, because I think he’s about 17 YO) the official plan is to pull the plug in 12 months! For their 0.3% of assists, they do asset allocation, and a Monte Carlo analysis on your stash and tell you odds of success, based on living to 100. Told the Boy Wonder, “listen, man, I’m not going to worry about making it to 100!” I don’t want to live that long. Since we’ve determined we can live on $30k / year, the plan is quite conservative. There is room for all this inflation and even $20k / year between now and 65 YO for DW and I for ACA bronze or whatever plan. Hooray! It’s also good to know that my field is booming and there is a shortage of experienced people, so if I needed to go back to work as a consultant/contractor for a year or so, it shouldn’t be a problem.

Married2aSwabian
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Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2021 7:45 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

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Last edited by Married2aSwabian on Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IlliniDave
Posts: 3845
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2014 7:46 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by IlliniDave »

Married2aSwabian wrote:
Tue Jul 27, 2021 6:11 am
We’ll, it’s official. After talking with my Vanguard advisor (I call him the Boy Wonder, because I think he’s about 17 YO) the official plan is to pull the plug in 12 months! For their 0.3% of assists, they do asset allocation, and a Monte Carlo analysis on your stash and tell you odds of success, based on living to 100. Told the Boy Wonder, “listen, man, I’m not going to worry about making it to 100!” I don’t want to live that long. Since we’ve determined we can live on $30k / year, the plan is quite conservative. There is room for all this inflation and even $20k / year between now and 65 YO for DW and I for ACA bronze or whatever plan. Hooray! It’s also good to know that my field is booming and there is a shortage of experienced people, so if I needed to go back to work as a consultant/contractor for a year or so, it shouldn’t be a problem.
Congrats on hitting the milestone of assigning a date and being inside a year! For me the whole pinning down of a target date turned out to be a little fuzzy due to some external influences that changed over time. I hope you hit smooth sailing up until and after you date.

Glad to hear your experience with Vanguard Advisors. That's likely to be my approach down the road if/when I get to the point it's prudent to and that responsibility off. But for now my cover story regarding my occupation will be "I manage a private family wealth fund" in some situations. :lol:

Married2aSwabian
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Joined: Thu Jan 07, 2021 7:45 pm

Re: M2aS’ Journal

Post by Married2aSwabian »

@iDave, thanks - it does make it a little more real when you can start counting the months. :D

As they say, “Life is what happens while you’re planning other things.”, so we’ll see how it goes. Based on the events of the past few years, It’d be pie in the sky to think that the sailing will be completely smooth. One thing’s for sure, getting a handle on expenditures has a much bigger impact and is in one’s control more than anything else.

We are certainly in a tiny minority here on this forum! I was recently talking with a colleague at work who owns 2 houses and is “addicted to that new car smell”. Good god! My bringing up the massive depreciation of a car in the first three years didn’t seem to have an impact. Let them boost the economy with big spending while we save and invest. :lol:

Vanguard advisors are mainly there to keep me from selling low in a crisis, which is unfortunately my tendency when it looks like the wheels are falling off. They do auto rebalance and diversify things too, which is helpful. They’ve got us in v low cost funds like VTI, Vanguard bond funds, etc. with domestic/ international balance.

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