Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Where are you and where are you going?
Hrodwulf
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 5:20 am

Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Hrodwulf »

I´ve been lurking at the shadows of these foruns since 2015. I read and read the stories here and they amused and taught me much. To see others on the same path for freedom as me, to know I am not the only one crazy enough to tackle such an unorthodox path has been helpful. By pure chance I returned here these last feel days. No, it was not chance alone. The real reason is I am almost at the end of the tunnel. I am so close to retire early, to touch FIRE, the most important goal of my life for the last 7 years.

The bright light outside this tunnel doesn´t hurt my eyes anymore. 7 years of walking this dark path to get out of the rat´s race gave me doubts, but faith in the process kept me going. In walking blind, I slowly saw the bright dot many miles away. It got bigger as the years passed, and I did my homework as a good boy. Save here, don´t spend there, cut expenses, don´t buy a dime of chocolate wrapped in a $100 package.

Even after all my effort, despair hit me. That guiding light lost its intensity to the point it vanished before my eyes. I saw the pandemic crashing the markets. I saw my savings going down, but I waited. I knew they would bounce back in the long term. They did, but that´s when I realized the tunnel was again dark. My account numbers were back where they were, still, the purchasing power of my third world currency got a 40% devaluation in comparison to the US Dolar. In a matter of weeks, all my years of saving had lost half their value. I felt half as rich. I´d need to double my retirement target if I wished to retain the same lifestyle. The initial 10-year plan to early retirement would take at least 15 years now. This was the light vanishing at the end of the tunnel.

My head bowed, but my feet kept doing what they grew so accustomed to: walk forward towards the light. Almost a year went by, and I noticed the light returning. The tunnel was not longer, I had only witnessed night for the first time since I got here. A new day dawned and everything was like before. Since I didn´t stop moving, I was closer to the exit. Some of my bets during 2020 turned into huge profits. The 10-year turned 15-year plan now looked closer to a 7-year plan. The feeling of distant future became the feeling of now. I stretched my arm and I could touch the light outside. I was at the tunnel´s exit. Yet, something unexpected happened.

The light was warm. The longer I held my arm outside, the harder my skin burned. I touched FIRE, but could I stand outside without the protection of the roof above me? I read here people talking about their retired lives. Some turned back to the tunnel because staying out was not as productive as they dreamed. Their voices echo in my head as I decide if I should quit the rat´s race or not...

This is my story. I am about to touch FIRE with my whole body. Or should I wait a while longer? Doubt surrounds me because I know my tunnel will close the moment I step outside and I´ll be left alone in the Sun. My career will be over once I quit. If I want to get back to "normal 9 to 5 life" again, I´ll have to find another tunnel. I plan on detailing here the highlights of my journey. The Universe is my witness of how some of the journals here kept my morale up along the way.

I am a pretty boring person myself, but I was lucky to live and do some interesting things during my last 7 years. Just to tease, I lived within an indian village at the border of Venezuela and Brazil, I spent more than a year living in the Amazon Jungle - literally IN the amazon jungle, - and I lived in many different regions of my country, Brazil. All the while saving for retirement, i learned minimalism and read all sorts of subjects like nutrition, stoicism, sleep, zen, etc. My path to FIRE made me who I am today. As I draw near the end of this huge goal, I wonder if I am ready to embrace all the freedom that comes with it. Still, there is a part of me that wants to tie some knots before I leave. We will see how things progress.

I know I spoke in riddles and analogies, but as this journal grows, I´m sure I´ll give you more details. I hope I got somebody´s interest in what´s to come. See ya around.

UrbanHomesteader
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Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by UrbanHomesteader »

Beautifully written!

User avatar
Bankai
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Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Bankai »

I enjoyed reading your introduction.

Hrodwulf
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Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 5:20 am

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Hrodwulf »

Thanks Bankai and UrbanHomesteader.

I wrote a draft two weeks ago, but have been postponing since them because I had not even created an account here. I almost got to the conclusion I was a robot because I couldn't guess the answer to the robot-test question at the end of registration. I had to wait the cooldown after 3 wrong guesses, but here I am now. I hope my doubts and tribulations will help the community like reading Akratic's journal and many others have helped lighten my burden.

I still don't know how to address other users without using quotes, which I read in Jacob's rules is not a feature to be abused.

sky
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Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by sky »

Welcome!

mathiverse
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Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by mathiverse »

Hrodwulf wrote:
Fri Mar 05, 2021 3:55 pm
I still don't know how to address other users without using quotes, which I read in Jacob's rules is not a feature to be abused.
You can quote, but do what I did here and only quote the part you are responding to specifically rather than quoting the entire post you want to respond to. In this way I can give context to my response without the huge repeated post which is really what jacob wants to avoid as far as I can tell.
Hrodwulf wrote:
Fri Mar 05, 2021 3:55 pm
If I didn't want to respond to anything in particular in a post, but I still wanted the user to whom I am responding to get a notification and to make it clear what post I'm responding to, then I do this ^^. I click the quote button and then remove everything in the body of the quote so it's minimal, but still sends the notification. Also if people want to know the post I'm replying to then the little arrow with a hyperlink is available in the quote box to let them jump to the post and read it.

----

And if you don't care about the notification or giving context, then using someone's name so they notice if they read the post later makes sense. So what you did with Bankai and UrbanHomesteader works fine since they'll notice your reply the next time they check this thread, it's obvious what your mention of them is referring to, and you didn't say anything that warrants a notification (at least imo).

Western Red Cedar
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Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Western Red Cedar »

Hrodwulf wrote:
Fri Mar 05, 2021 6:16 am
I am a pretty boring person myself, but I was lucky to live and do some interesting things during my last 7 years.
I definitely don't think you would qualify as "boring" after an introduction like that. I'm looking forward to hear more of your story. Welcome to the forums!

ertyu
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Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by ertyu »

Hey, congrats on your progress! Being from a developing country brings its unique challenges we'll need to plan for. Stay strong :muscle:

McTrex
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Location: NL

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by McTrex »

Welcome, sounds like an interesting story!

While you're at it, go find Bigato and tell him we miss him! ;)

Hrodwulf
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 5:20 am

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Hrodwulf »

McTrex wrote:
Sun Mar 07, 2021 7:22 am
While you're at it, go find Bigato and tell him we miss him! ;)
I remember reading Bigato´s Journal a long time ago. I didn´t know he deleted his posts until you pointed it out. What a shame.

ertyu
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Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by ertyu »

eh, if deleting makes it easier for a person to stop spending so much time online and to direct their attention where it really matters in their life, i support it. the rest of us might miss their contribution but it's still selfish to say we'd rather have them here when their own life goals are something else.

Hrodwulf
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Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 5:20 am

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Hrodwulf »

Chapter I - Before the beginning

Let me move on with my storytelling. Just because I can, I will structure my posts in chapters. I don´t plan on posting month-to-month expenditures and the like, since I am talking about the past here and I am at the point where I can almost ditch my beloved spreadsheets. Every so often, I may post a few expenses and income to clarify how my life was at that stage. When I do such, I´ll try to convert numbers to dollars or to minimun wage multiples because during this time R$ 1 (one brazilian real) varied from R$ 1,80 for US$ 1 all the way to the current R$ 5,60 for US$1.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I will start with some backstory, way before early retirement entered my mind. My first motivator to retire - which I didn´t realize at the time - was a highschool friend who shouted to all heavens his life goal was to retire as soon as possible. We were highschool seniors at the time, so we were a long way from retirement - or were we? I planned on going for a military college which functioned as both an engineering school and officer formation course. My friend wished to become a doctor, work in the dirtiest hole with the highest salary and retire as soon as possible.

Of course at the time, I took all his statements as jokes. The guy was most peculiar both in his hippie looks with the long hair, the crazy loud laghter, and a huge memory for trivia facts with no actual apllication. I couldn´t take him seriously. Only 5 or 6 years later, at the last year of my military school would I ever revisit the subject of retirement. But this is too far from the beginning. First, I need to explain my career choice, as most of the things that happened to me relates back to this one small choice I did as an 18-year-old.

At high school, I wanted two things in life besides a girlfriend: to have a good degree so I could have a large paycheck after College and to pay for my sins. For some weird reason, I wanted to do penance. A military school served both goals in a single place. I´d get an engineering degree, which has a middle class paycheck in Brazil for a 9 to 5 and huge upside if one wants to become an entrepreneur - not my case. Also, I´d get to suffer and repent for being born in a good family and never have had any hardships in life as a child and teenager. If I gave up on being an engineer, I´d have a good diplome in one of the best colleges in Brazil - think IVY league level for international comparison. It would be easy to find a job in finances or other areas for example.

Back in my teens, I had life figured out already. I just needed to be accepted in this College, study for 5 years and work for 30 more to beat this game called living. Back then, a 30-year career was a given. Boy, how I was trivial as a youngster.

I failed my first attempt at college, which was considered common for this particular school. The second year trying I got accepted. I lived in Brazil´s Northeast Region, which is the second poorest of the country behind only the Northern Region where the Amazon Rainforest is. The college was in Rio de Janeiro, in the Southeast Region - the richest one. As a 19 year old, I would need to leave home and move to another State where I knew exactly zero people. To some cultures, moving out in your 18s or 19s comes as a given, but in Brazil it is usual to stay at your parent´s house till the end of your undergraduate years. Children living with parents into their 30s and 40s is not unheard of.

All this was already an adventure for a regular brazilian. Most of my highschool classmates are still leaving in my home State even after a decade of my departure. I was one of the few to leave home this soon and trail uncharted territory outside the warmth and security of family. What can I say? One cannot redeem oneself while still eating momma´s food. Yet, I had the intelligence not to pick a student loan. I chose this college outside my home State also because I´d get an aid from the Army to pay for my expenses - 80% of minimum wage at the time,- a dormitory room - shared with another 11 people, but a free roof nevertheless - and free food - which I only ate the first year because I couldn´t stand that much torture after all. As I said, I had life figured out at 18. So boring.

As I leave home to enter college, we halt this initial chapter where there is absolutely 0% useful or early retirement related information, but one needs context to understand how and why I ended up where I ended up. I bid adieu with a thanks for that remote highschool friend who knew and preached about ERE much sooner than I ever had a clue about it.

Hrodwulf
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Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Hrodwulf »

Have you ever know something to be true and yet not believe it?

Think of a distant country you will never visit. Does it really exist? Is it a conspiracy of media news and the powers that be? Why do they want you to believe Earth is flat or round or a blue dot in the vast expanse of the void we call universe?

Well, at least in this case you have someone to blame. Now think of what people describe you to be. Are you calm and collected? Are you really? Seems so because everyone tells you are since you can recall. For all matters, it is true. Still, how can you believe it? How can you be certain you are calm? For sure you haven't been put into a stressful situation that's all. Given a grave enough problem you will burst like everyone else. Then this calmness won't belong to you anymore. Will you believe you are not calm after this episode? Won't you question yourself, "but it was a one time thing. It has been months since I last got angry. Everyone got back to calling me calm."

Which is the truth? Are you calm or not calm?

I bring all this to try and describe how I feel about my recent financial independence status. Number-wise, I have enough to keep myself going without a salary. Yet, how can I believe it? Who am I, the independent or the not independent? Am I fooled because I had a few months of FIRE to savor? In a year's time won't the past come back, and I'll get back to my usual self? Decades of rat race against less than a year outside it puts me in question of my recent status shift.

Parallel to this, there is an opposite belief I bring with me since I was a kid: "money is not a problem." My father tried to teach me the dirtiness of money. His relationship with it was one of constant combat. Money, there was never enough. Whenever money came by, it flew away so fast. Despite his attempts, I always felt I had enough money. My father would give me a few bucks to grab a snack at school, and I'd eat less than optimal to save a few coins. Then I went back home and deposited them in my pig. Fast-forward one or two years, my pig was fat and heavy. I remember the day we cracked it open. Father needed money for a travel. He asked whether I could lend him my money. I said yes, sure. Them we cracked the fat red guy. There were so many coins. It was a fortune for a kid like me. Somehow, I had no problem in giving it all away to father. I just did and went back to saving half my meals at school again.

Father got me a new safe since my pig was now slaughtered. It was metal-cased and full of childish drawings on it. I didn't like its look. I was already too serious when I was 8, but I was pragmatic too. A safe is a safe, and it will keep my coins no matter how ugly it is. I filled this one too. Like the pig, my father asked me to borrow my money again. I obliged. Once more, I was pleased to help him. In all my years, I never used the money from those safes to buy anything.

I am just a hoarder it seems. I can pile up a vault full of money never to spend it. I find it a crime to use up my savings. At least I used to. This was another change since I've become FIRE. Money became less important. Just like when I filled the pig and father asked me for it, I have lost my attachment to my bank account. Now that I topped it up, I have less resistance to spend money. I can give it all away, but this time father won't come and ask me for it. This time, I can spend it on myself or others, because I have no needs to fulfill. I can go and purchase all my wants, but my wants won't give me much pleasure if bought all at once. This leaves me with spending money with others.

One of the items of my bucket list is tithe. I want to grab 10% of my salary and spend it on charity or helping others. Now I reached FIRE and my salary lost all its previous meaning, I can do it. Still I postpone it. One year passed since I first wrote down on my diary - yes, I have a diary of sorts - about tithing as a goal. My realization was the following:

Imagine taking, say, $500 a month and give it all away. I went on thinking of what I could do. Being in a poor country, there are always people in need on the streets. $20 of those $500 would be enough to feed that mother and her three children today. And to give $50 to a random stranger without asking nothing in return, wouldn't it be amazing to see the person's astonished face? Sometimes when I have small change I give them to people selling candy at the traffic lights. When they hand me the sweets I reject them. "keep them," I say, "I don't eat candy." They looked at me not believing. I found out I like to "shock" people with the unexpected. Moving on, how much good can you make with $500 a month? How many hungry can you feed, how many ill! The joy you can bring with such a small amount compared to what you earn. I asked myself why I postpone this.

Now that money is not a problem - it never was, I just didn't believe it until FIRE - I can go and share with the world. Akratic, one of the oldest journalers here, once wrote a quote I bring in my heart:

"When you are well and wealthy, it is better to build a longer table instead of a taller fence."

For now that's all.
Thanks for reading my ramblings.

theanimal
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Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by theanimal »

Your writing is excellent. I am really enjoying reading your entries.

Hrodwulf
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Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 5:20 am

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Hrodwulf »

theanimal wrote:
Sun May 09, 2021 12:47 am
I was feeling down the whole weekend. Your comment was enough to cheer me up. Thanks for the kind words.

Hrodwulf
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 5:20 am

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Hrodwulf »

Chapter II - My life as told by my salaries

I will roam throughout my life as I jumped from salary to salary. I will go for imaginary figures not the real values because I wish to express my buying power since my currency (Brazilian Real) bounced around, up and down against the US Dollar. Let's see how I lived my life thus far according to my paychecks.

First Salary: $0
Age 0-18

I talked a little about my allowance years in my previous post. Though I had no formal source of income, father would give me money to buy snacks at school. For a delayed gratification prodigy such as my young self, this was the same as having a paycheck. I'd save half of my daily bucks and keep half of my hunger in exchange for a fat piggy with loads of coins inside. My urge to save was inmate. Father seldom thought me anything money-related except "if one doesn't value a penny, how will one value a dollar?" I guess this sums all financial wisdom you will ever need, but then I couldn't see it. I still want to complain about my old man never taking the time to teach me Financial Education, Economics, or how to manage one's salary, but the man thought me principles. He knew I'd figure out the rest and he was right.

Of these first years I took a little money and a lot of principles I later translated into Financial Education. To name a few, I learn to value one's hard earned pay, and not to waste a dime when a penny would suffice.

Real First Salary: $150
Age 19

A got a monitoring gig during my second year attempting to enter military school. I needed to help out the new guys trying the exam for the first time in exchange for a pay equivalent to 20% of the minimum wage. There were no fixed office hours. I just had to help the newbies whenever I was at school. I would do this for free because many people had helped me the year before. The pay was a welcoming plus.

Going from $0 to $150 without bills to pay made me feel a king. No longer would I need to bow myself before father and ask him for money or tell him why I needed it. This was my first taste of freedom. How delicious it tasted. This time I saved nothing, but I could eat with my own and go to the movies once a month without troubling my parents. I felt even better knowing I was giving my father a break financially. I felt guilty by not acing my exam the first time and having to stay at home a whole other year burdening the old man. I could have gone to a less prestigious college, but I'd need help maintaining myself, or worse, living at my parent's for 4-5 more years. This was unacceptable so I stayed the second year with a heavy heart.

Of my first real salary I took the feeling of freedom and the taste of what was to come once I had a real job and true freedom from my parents.

Second Salary: 80-100% of minimum wage
Age 20-23

The next year, I got my first "pay raise." I passed the exam to enter military school. I got a 4x in my salary, but now I needed to live in another state alone. My goal was to not ask father for help. A failed a few times throughout the 5 years of engineering school. In my defense, I asked money only to buy flight tickets back home. They costed a month's salary for a two-way trip, and I went back home twice a year. One of them I bought with my 13th salary, but the other was too much to afford without going through days of bad meals. As I had enough problems keeping myself alive at college, I preferred to ask for money and eat well than being self-sufficient and struggle academically because I was malnourished.

After the first year, I got a scientific grant to do some research and my pay raised to a full minimum wage salary. I renewed the grant the following years in order to rent a house with 3 other friends. The first and second years I lived in the college's dormitory with 12 people per apartment. Not comfortable at all. Because I decided to rent, my expenses got even higher. The tickets home became parent-sponsored until my final year at college when I got another huge raise.

Of my first 4 college years, I learned how to manage my expenses and take care of myself away from home.

Third Salary: 5x minimum wage 8-)
Age 24

Now this was a good year. During the final year of military school we got promoted to officer status. With it we got the corresponding paycheck. I felt like a king again. I got to study for a whole year while receiving a full worker's pay. This was the best bang for the buck of my whole life. I spent 5-7 hours at college, mostly in classes, and that was it. Lifestyle got a bump. I could eat every day in restaurants and not go broke by the end of the month. More! Though I went to fancy dinners quite often, I couldn't spend my entire salary before getting the next one. By then, I had educated myself financially. This was the first time I set aside money to invest in something different than a savings account. I taught myself how to invest by digging the internet for knowledge. I spent exactly $0 in education that year. All I learned, I learned for free. Praise be to the Internet, the true land of the free (and the cheap).

I would find ERE and other likeminded movements only the next year, but I already had much of the tools I needed to reach FIRE before ever reading Jacob's book. I had a 50% savings rate that year (and during most of my working years later on). Quite good for someone who upgraded his lifestyle and had no goal to save a lot of money yet. Truth be told, I didn't skyrocket my expenses that much. It was mostly eating out a few dinners per week since I kept sharing the rent with other people. Most of my mandatory expenses like bills, rent, transportation remained the same.

During this last year in college, I had to make a decision that would shape my FIRE journey: to sell my soul and time in exchange for a huge paycheck or to keep my comfortable salary while working 9 to 5. I decided to have a balanced life with a medium pay in the 9 to 5.

Fourth Salary: 6-7x minimum wage
Age 25-FIRE

I graduated and got a job in my country's Armed Forces. My salary got a raise as compensation because I went to the Amazon which is not the easiest of places to work.

I already wished to retire earlier than my career demanded. Instead of 35 more years, I aimed to call it quits in 15-20 years. I felt proud of my plan until I got here in the ERE world. Though I found Jacob's 5-year plan achievable, I had already decided for a lower pay check the year before. Instead, I replanned my retirement to 10 years. This way, I'd have a safe margin to get to my savings goal if I screwed up along the way (spoiler: I did!). I wouldn't need to downgrade my lifestyle that much, though the places I served the following years downgraded my comfort without me having any saying in it. I went back to living in dormitories, eating low quality food, and working long hours in construction sites. In the first two years, I didn't have that easy life I was hoping for, but things got better after I left the Amazon to live in civilization again.

Of my real journey to Retire Early, I took the spreadsheets, the financial knowledge, the bad decisions, in other words, I took the journey, and it was delicious. As delicious as that first taste of freedom I had with my $150. Finding a way out of the rat's race was a jolly good time. It took me to much more places than just hoarding a pile of money. I learned about nutrition, sleeping, exercising, frugality, stoicism and other philosophies, how to sleep on the ground with a smile on my face, how to treat other people well and help them out whenever I could, and so on and so forth.

I still wish to go deeper in this last part of my life in further chapters, but right now I can tell those beginning the journey this:

"Go for it. Enjoy the spreadsheets and the methods. Reward yourself when you reach the intermediary goals. Share all this with other people who understand you. Don't restrain yourself to money related knowledge. Other areas can be a great help cutting expenses and raising salaries. People here learn to conserve food by reading sailing books just to cut grocery bills. Connect the dots with non-financial areas and you can get not only an early retirement, but a good life together with it. This path is worth it. If later on you decide this lifestyle is not for you, you can always go back to the 9 to 5 with the freedom to quit it anytime."

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Hrodwulf
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 5:20 am

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Hrodwulf »

What about the afterlife?

This is a philosophical entry. :ugeek: Be warned your principles may be damaged in the process of reading on.

As I followed the path towards financial freedom, I spent a lot of time building knowledge, saving, abstaining, developing and doing things myself. The focus lied on tools, tips, and amassing a stash. There was little to no time wasted in "the afterlife." I didn't even know if I would reach my goal or if I was dreaming with all this plan to retire without a state pension. Ten years ahead seemed a future so distant from where I stood...

Time marched on. One year, two years, five years passed. I did my homework. My wealth grew. I learned how to make gluten and lactose free bread and homemade soap. I controlled my life in various spreadsheets. Half a decade later, much of my path was on autopilot. I stopped thinking about how to walk towards paradise.

My sight shifted from my feet to the brick road I stepped on. I abandoned my spreadsheets in favor of simpler ways to track my expenses and income. I stared at the bricks, the journey itself. I observed where this path pointed to. Yes, it still headed in the right direction - FIRE. Yes, I still wanted to reach my destination. Work was as boring and stressful as ever. I wanted to quit the rats' race even more than when I began. The difference was I freed part of my attention after putting things on automatic mode. This extra time made me think about my current troubles at my job, but it also made me think about the future.

I made half the journey. I was as close to the beginning as I was to the end. The future and the past where equidistant. To move forward demanded the same energy as going back. It was possible. It wasn't hard anymore. I just had to live five more years...five more years, but this time I didn't need to learn anything new. I just had to exist for this other half. After so much time digesting content on early retirement, novelty vanished. I knew the skills, I practiced and succeeded. What was I to do now?

This led me to the afterlife. The moment where I was already free from paychecks and meaningless work. Paradise, I thought at first. Then I went on dreaming. O boy, six months of playing video games, no dress code,I could grow a huge beard, and look like a hippie. I dreamed on. One, two years of fun and play. Marvelous. Five years. Ten years. How long can I live like a child before the need for responsibility and doing something more of my life than couch-potatoing becomes unavoidable? Not ten years I'm sure. After one or two years, my afterlife would hit a big black abyss. I had no plan past achieving FIRE.

Now that I can do anything I want, what do I want? The dream faded. I had a problem. I had no answer for the question, "what would you do if money was not a problem?" My stash growing started to mean the time to make a decision approached. Till this day, I have no answer for what will I do. I can leave the prison anytime. The cell is open, but I keep postponing the afterlife. To be honest since I reached FI, my job looked better. I can say I started to like what I was doing. For the first time, I went to work willingly. I felt free to focus on the good part of the profession and avoid the useless, boring stuff. I see my employer's problems not as my own anymore. If people start pissing me off, I now have the power to "f*** this s*** I quit."

Given this new found power, I can work better than I did all my life. I can view the job I despised so much turn to the job I choose to do every day because I want to. This leads to a troublesome question:
How much of your problems are caused by yourself?


I know this is a break in the original theme of this entry, but bear with me.

What if most of the terrible things you lived your entire life were not externally caused? What if the problem was not those incompetent bastards around you? And if you are the sole incompetent bastard causing all this misery to yourself? Damn!

At least for me, the answer is I am the biggest problem of my life. All the drama was of my own making. Absolutely nothing changed at work except the way I looked at it after I reached FI. Nothing. Same people, same problems, same routine. It was all me all along.

So watch out folks. Maybe in journeying through this brick road called Early Retirement, you realize every assumption you started with was wrong. But fear not, despite all this philosophy, becoming independent from other people's money is one of the best things you can do to yourself. Optionality is king.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Hrodwulf
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 5:20 am

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by Hrodwulf »

How much is enough?

To retire early we become natural hoarders. There is no way to retire in 5, 10 or 20 years by yourself without pile a money in your vault. We become draconic whether we like it or not. Money and saving money gain a higher level of importance. We track records, we weight our spending decisions toward not spending. Sometimes, we act as the cheapest people on Earth. Most of our actions orbit around this one goal, to retire early. To us it is a worthy endeavor. To those outside, we are simply greedy, don't know how to have a good time, and have no clue how to enjoy the money we earn. We know they are wrong. It will all pay off in the end. To many of us, it is a pleasure to save on or buy discounted stuff. The more your bank account go up the more pleasing. Ah the sight of those numbers increasing...

To graduate in this journey we will all pass the same final threshold, the decision to call it done. This brings the question, "when will I know I am safe to take the leap of faith?" How much is enough? This, fellow dragons, is the final boss. The moment you face your huge 6, 7 or 8 digit (or more if you live in Japan) bank statement and ask yourself, "should I hoard a little more just in case?" Yes, we have Safe Withdrawal Rates (SWR) of 4 or 3% to guide us. We have https://www.firecalc.com to please all our planning manias. Yet, we will cross our SWR and pass the firecalc test with 100% chance of success. This is the moment I am referring to.

When all metrics are go and all plans succeeded, will it be enough to make you take the leap? The next financial crisis nears. Will I base my quitting decision in data of 100 years ago? Won't this time be different? What if (insert local currency here) lose all its value in a hyperinflation scenario? We live in the digital age without gold-back fiat currencies. Who can guarantee the world will ever repeat itself being so different now?

O the drama! One doesn't go to the final boss fight with a calm heart. One postpones it to gain another level or get better gear. Delay it for as long as you wish, but it will come. Because if it does never come, it means you embraced your draconic persona. You became the cheap, greedy person who doesn't know how to have a good time. You fell to the Scrooge McDuck disease. So close to the end, you turned off the game never to return. Game Over.

As I write this, I am exactly in this position I described above. I wait a little just to be sure nothing bad will come. We are in the middle of a very strange scenario, I keep telling myself. Yet, I know I am savvy enough to handle myself if a storm comes years from now and I am all by myself. Look at all this knowledge we gained? We don't dare say it out loud, but we know we are better than many financiers of this world. We got it they know as little as we do when the subject is the future. No matter when we decide to call it quits, we will face bear markets in retirement. There is no avoiding that, but that is a different game. We will play it when we get there. Right now we are trying to build up our courage and face the end of one era.

So how much is enough?

Though I have no definitive answer, here is what I think. The answer to the question won't be the number in your bank account. The decision to retire is not a matter of how much GOLD is enough. The real question is about how much EXPERIENCE is enough. A lottery winner can retire today with 100 million dollars and go back to the rats' race in the next year. A 6% SWR master day-trader can retire with way less than us. In the end, this road was never about money, hoarding, or saving. These are all tools. This road is all about learning and becoming one who can survive by oneself without the aid of governments or employers.

All the courage we need to face the final boss will come once we got enough experience. Once being an avid consumer of the last tech becomes irrational, and we learn we can live by with bare necessities with a happy smile and a full belly, then we will be ready for any fight ahead no matter what our bank statement tells us. This is a path about building the mind to be financially independent as well as getting the bucks to back it up. So folks, do not forget to hone your mental skills too. They will be needed once you can't avoid the final threshold.

Good luck and thanks for reading and commenting. If you find yourself in the same situation I described above, please share how you are facing it ;)

ertyu
Posts: 2885
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by ertyu »

There's one simple way to ensure you'll have enough: pull the plug at the bottom of the cycle rather than the top. Most people tend to retire at the peak of a bull market because that's when they reach that "milestone." But really, you can only really pull the plug safely if you're at 25x at the bottom.

basuragomi
Posts: 416
Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2019 3:13 pm

Re: Touching FIRE - Hrodwulf´s Journal

Post by basuragomi »

Personally, years of savings > remaining life expectancy is when I would consider the incremental value of more money to be zero. I think generally by the time you've even approached the point of ultimate safety, you will have either stopped caring or will never feel safe.

@ertyu - At high savings rates you are much less likely to quit at the top of a bull market. Since you're stacking up 2-4 years of savings a year and people typically aim for 20-30 years of savings, net worth increases fairly independently versus the market.

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