7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Where are you and where are you going?
7Wannabe5
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

I’m non-monogamous, but I also want to have complex relationships with complex men, not just hook-ups with physically attractive strangers, so it’s actually a bit more difficult to find partners than if I just wanted one theoretically* monogamous BF. If I did just want hook-ups, I could pretty much effortlessly line up endless stream of partners using internet apps, even though I am a chubby old woman, and I auto-pilot swipe away anybody under 40, and I usually keep my profile on hidden mode. The only man I am actively pursuing is a climate scientist I want to babble at over coffee.

*I pretty much believe that the vast majority of people who are single in mid-life will never be simply monogamous or simply monogamous again. Those who have never been married or similarly long-term committed aren’t likely to change their ways completely, and those of us who have been in variety of relationships are more likely to carry forward ties or baggage in several realms of intimacy. For simple example, I have dated many men who still did home maintenance for their ex-wives.

Dream of Freedom
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by Dream of Freedom »

I know how much you love Jeff Bezos. Have you signed the petition to keep him in space? It has 140,000 signatures so far.

https://www.change.org/p/the-proletaria ... n-to-earth

7Wannabe5
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Lol- Yeah, definitely do not love, but I might need to do some business with his empire again, so gotta keep it on the down low.

7Wannabe5
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Covid Butt Revisited:

Due to Covid and my lifelong tendency to procrastinate on seeking medical care, it took me over a year to finally get a colonoscopy to accurately diagnose my ongoing butt problem. Unfortunately, it seems that I am now cursed with yet another chronic auto-immune disorder (in addition to asthma and rosacea) known as left-sided ulcerative colitis. I will spare you the gruesome symptoms and details, which are readily available via internet search, but pretty much the sort of things a medieval curse might include. It is believed to be caused or initiated by something like an over-reaction to infection, not diet or stress, but once you are cursed with open sores covering the left-bottom half of your colon, you will likely choose to forever pass on the raw broccoli (and lentils!) and dairy foods and take it a bit easy. Most people lose weight when they develop this disorder, but I have actually gained some weight, because I tend towards semi-conscious desire to continuously send something soothing down the tubes. I still think it is an odd coincidence that I developed this disorder right at the height of Covid in my area, even though I later tested negative for antibodies.

Anyways, I'm actually kind of proud of myself that I've kept on plugging away in my 7WillB7 manner. Not everybody would take on several major projects and a few new/old lovers at age 56, out-of-shape, wounded ass, wheezing, and intermittent anemic B Vitamin deficient. I finally got around to binge-watching "Game of Thrones" and I immediately recognized and related to the ENTP character, Tyrion Lannister.
Like Tyrion Lannister, ENTPs prefer deep intellectual conversations with people they consider their equals. ENTPs are good problem-solvers who prefer creating ideas and theorizing over actually doing the heavy lifting. Think about how often we've seen Tyrion drinking wine and theorizing versus actually doing work.
--Emily Marting for bookriot

The INTJ character in the series, Petyr Baelish, is pretty damn evil, but it's still quite evident that Tyrion's functioning improves in the direction of being more serious and strategic like Baelish. I found it interesting that Baelish kept using the term "investment" in relationship to the intelligent prostitutes he associated with and employed, because like Tyrion, if/when I apply dismal economic analysis to my social or sexual relationships, I am mostly joking; I am actually trying to point to how limited such analysis is compared to reality, literature, binge-worthy HBO series, or even simple psychological models like MBTI. As with Tyrion, my relationships are more about pleasure, sensual or intellectual, and affection. Obviously, non-evil INTJ's don't really think of their relationships as akin to financial investments either, but it may be the case that the term "investment" itself is core to INTJ functioning, whereas not so much for an ENTP. We're more likely to think in terms of expanding trade. Another quote from the evil Baelish was "Chaos is a ladder you climb." I think that is more indicative of commonality between INTJ and ENTP, except ENTP might it express it more as "Chaos is a river you ride."

Due to the fact that Covid Butt related expenses are going to max out my deductible this year :x , I decided to take the opportunity to do brief therapy. It seems like my therapist thinks I am doing pretty well, because "optimistic,happily making plans for future, reasonably cheerful in spite of x,y,z..." , but I did feel like I needed a bit of help with regrouping/transition/feelings of guilt related to not wanting to major caretake for anybody ever again, etc. Most helpful aspect of this for me has been that it helped me affirm my strong need to have my own center of operations or very well boundaried "room of my own" from which I reach out to make contract or engage in collaboration with others. I am so happy spending the day alone in my tiny apartment office, going over my own spreadsheets, filling in my big calendar, pinning map of my permaculture project to my bulletin board, and updating my ToDo lists. I also like the fact that the men with whom I interact have their own complex realms which they are in charge of elsewhere. I go visit them and they give me dinner, sex, a new backpack, an old blanket, use of laundry facilities, ride to my colonoscopy, cuddles and compliments, ride on back of motorcycle, etc. and then I go back to my own center of operations. This is the pattern that has ALWAYS made me happiest, so my challenge is to make sure that I maintain it. I told my therapist that I need to pin red letter note "Do Not Ever Choose To Live With a Man Again" on top of my bulletin board, and she was supportive. The Permaculture Manager suggested that he would trade me 2 3-day weekends of work on the Money Dimple for the remainder he owes me for the project he bought from me. This is a super deal for me, because he is quite skilled, so I said "Yes.", but I am leery of even letting any of my former/current polyamours help or visit me at my realm. I'm actually kind of glad that the odd lease on my tiny apartment stipulates that I can only have an overnight visitor two nights/week, because my current preference is for zero. I even dropped the jolly Italian baseball player because he does not have the ability to provide accommodations for sex due to having custody of teenage kids. I do not ever want to find myself stuck, trapped, burdened, smothered, and miserable again.

As of a couple weeks ago, I am cash flow negative or zero on all of my projects :o , except for small profits on stock market investments. This is obviously a bit worrisome, even though my plans to shortly or eventually emerge cash flow positive on all fronts are not irrationally exhuberent. I know I can teach/tutor in the fall, even though I will have to limit myself to assignments with ready bathroom access, because I am highly over-qualified. I am very experienced with the S-Curve for rare book scouting/dealing, so can prettily easily predict when I will be in the black again at current rate of inventory build. My goal for cash crop or other cash yield from permaculture project is only $200/month two years from now. I am choosing slow and good for Money Dimple restoration. My writing and electronics projects are on hold for the time being. My personal living expenses are quite modest. Etc. So, I will also be looking for a YTBD source of immediate cash flow to supplement my part-time teaching income, simply because I prefer doing something else that has fresh learning curve in addition to teaching rather than teaching full-time. Basically, I am going to have to work full-time one way or another until I complete the Money Dimple project, or I am going to have to drain down my investment accounts/savings to level not happy-making for even not particularly risk-adverse me. Actually, I will be working more than full time, because I will also be building book business back up and doing renovation work. But, for some reason, it just seems like fun to me, because in terms of independence, my own center of operations matters much more to me than absolute freedom from work. Also, the fact that my W2 part-time teaching work will be very flexible and like the volunteer work I would choose and my YTBD part-time cash-work will be very pick and choose a novel learning curve/quit if/when I like is relevant to maintaining MY feelings of freedom.

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Mister Imperceptible
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by Mister Imperceptible »

Mister Imperceptible wrote:
Mon Sep 23, 2019 5:55 am
Chaos is a ladder.
7Wannabe5 wrote:
Sun Jul 11, 2021 10:38 am
"Chaos is a river you ride."
I’ll use it :D :twisted:

white belt
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by white belt »

I’m following along closely regarding the often conflicting aims of frugality and maintaining independent bounded space. I also feel the need to have my own domain that I gives me some control and space to work on my own projects, although I’m in the process of experimenting with if I can move further towards cohabitation on the spectrum to reduce expenses. Right now I seem to be doing ok with my own bedroom and bathroom in shared house, but we will see how things go. I’ve done shared bedrooms in college, which is definitely not something I want to repeat over the long term. I’ve also done shared bathrooms but I’m enjoying having my own bathroom, even though I recognize from a systems perspective it’s a huge waste of resources since I only spend maybe 30-60 minutes using it throughout my entire day.

Married2aSwabian
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by Married2aSwabian »

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis - hope you are able to get good care to manage it and get well.

7Wannabe5
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@white belt:

Well, I would note that I don’t want to hold up my current state of not being willing to tolerate grouchy behavior at all as model for you young folk.

For instance, I greatly admire Peter Bane, and I think he offers some solid advice on choosing housemates and/or permaculture partners in his handbook, and I am sure he is a perfectly reasonable person, but I was watching a video of one of his lectures, and at one juncture he exhibits how grouchy he would be if somebody stood in an open doorway of his house and let the water/cool air out, and my immediate hot button reaction was “Dude, your system sucks if it doesn’t account for absent-minded humans.”

I had a similar reaction to David Holmgren’s take in “Retrosuburbia” on why females are likely better suited to miscellaneous maintenance work than men. My point with these examples is that it has very little to do with general shared values or similar mission.

The Cowboy, who is not a perfectly reasonable person or a devoted permaculturist, said “You only want to be around men who are willing to kiss your ass because they want to get laid.” and my unspoken response was “Yup, that sounds about right, except that I don’t really give a rat’s ass why they are exhibiting pleasant behavior. If it is just because they want to get laid, I am willing to jump right out of his bed post-coitus, immediately throw on my clothes, and drive my own tiny car right the hell out of there, on the off chance of encountering any post-ejaculatory irritability.”

IOW, that’s where I am at this point in my journey, but I do not recommend as destination for others. It represents a great luxury I am inclined to afford myself in my old age, in addition to my recently growing predilection for purchasing and wearing clearance rack t-shirts featuring cartoon characters and motivational statements.

@Married2aSwabian:

Thanks! Hopefully, I will not end up like Death of a Pond example in introductory ecology textbook.

Miss Lonelyhearts
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by Miss Lonelyhearts »

Do you view the possibility of partnering with other highly independent, non-territorial adults as an effective solution to the problem of grouchy old man behavior?

7Wannabe5
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@Miss Lonelyhearts:

I am perfectly open to partnerships or collaborations well-boundaried against grouchy behavior with any sort of person. A boundary must be enforceable by self. Sorting or filtering for type of human is not adequate.

I told my therapist that I feel rather incompetent because I only seem to be able to enforce my boundaries by literally putting distance and walls between myself and others, and she said “It seems to me like you have to do that because your boundaries are otherwise not being respected.”

white belt
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by white belt »

For the record, it is the case that I am much more likely to fall into the camp of being overbearing/grouchy like your example of Peter Bane. I'm pretty much the opposite of absent-minded and sometimes have to catch myself getting frustrated over things absent-minded people do even though it is not deliberate (e.g. my new roommate whose default gait seems to be to stomp around the house at a rapid pace and slam doors/cupboards at all times which tends to make a lot of noise).

But the point I've realized is that I absolutely need my own domain even if the only reason is because it keeps me from encroaching onto communal domains or domains of others. What I'm experimenting with is how small and in what form that domain can take.

7Wannabe5
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@white belt:

Yes, I wouldn’t say that men who are alert, overbearing, and grouchy (or more positive take on these characteristics) are the most common of types. Yet, they are common enough that the world conforms to their existence. Women who are rational and easy-going, female xntps, are much more rare, so we must create worlds of our own.

7Wannabe5
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Hmmm... my last reply came off a bit rude and oddly mystical. Likely I am watching too much "Game of Thrones." I will try to better explain.

I can't speak for all absent-minded people, but with Ne-> Ti in conventional domestic context, what has typically caused conflict/distress for me is that I can hyper-focus much better than other people, so I can mechanically perform a wide variety of maintenance tasks while processing a good many recent Ne inputs through Ti, but when other people who feel a need to control, direct, criticize or otherwise negatively seek engagement/attention while I am, for instance, doing the dishes while thinking about a book I just read, they break my flow. I detest being forced to actually focus on routine maintenance tasks in the moment, and it feels to me like men who must tell me how I might better fry an egg are attention whores who can't stand to be in the presence of a female who isn't focused on him and his ego needs in the moment. Truth is, I am much more interested in exploring new inputs (Ne) and processing them into models (Ti) then bothering about any men and their needs/wants, especially now that age/experience has removed any desire for romance, so I prefer to only do it to the extent that I have to in order to occasionally get well laid.

In permaculture, a basic form of analysis applied to any element in design is needs/yields analysis. After my recent reading of Peter Bane's great design handbook, I realized that when creating my previous designs (or schemes), I was focusing more on yields than needs. For instance, having 3 polyamours seemed like a great way to ensure yield of sex and other benefits of relationship for me, but I didn't think very much about what my polyamours might need beyond what it would take to first attract them. What I now realize is that I prefer relationships with polyamours whose primary need or desire is "pleasure" rather than "attention", because "pleasure" is pretty easy for me to supply, but I can't afford or spare very much "attention." I need to reserve that for my own interests and projects and other relationships of long-standing, such as my relationships with my sisters and adult children.

white belt
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by white belt »

Are you concerned about gentrification at all in your Money Dimple project? Maybe things move more slowly in your region, but I’ve seen urban neighborhoods in my region completely transformed from low-income single family housing to upscale condos and high rises in as short as 5-10 years. I imagine it becomes a lot harder to sustain variety of permaculture practices with taxes rising, construction and buildings blocking your sun, affluent neighbors uncomfortable with “radical” practices, and higher density housing putting pressure on green spaces in the neighborhood.

Rapid community change is just something I’ve been pondering while re-reading Retrosuburbia. Holmgren seems to imply low energy intensity future means trends like gentrification will cease due to lack of growth, but I’m not so sure since climate displacement will cause some regions to boom while others bust. As I try to think of my project more from a community perspective, I become more concerned with lots of variables that may very well be beyond my control.

Ontarian
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by Ontarian »

7w5, just want to thank you for your recent analyses here. Both highly interesting, fun, and helpful in thinking about my own life. Likely many other forum readers found the same. No need to reply to this but THANKS.

7Wannabe5
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

@white belt:

For better or worse, I think rapid gentrification is not a huge concern in area of my project. I think it has been in population decline since the early 80s. So, more like much of the fringe is reverting to rural.

OTOH, when creating any low energy system, interaction with higher energy systems will always be a concern. Might be concentrated power real estate investment in your zip code or it might be a climate change induced hail producing thunderstorm. Best practice is to attempt to use your intelligence to make your system anti-fragile. Next best practice would be making your system resilient or robust enough. “ERE” does this by using investment in growth economy towards survival in descent economy (ish-over-simplification of strategy)

So, for instance, one way you might make your system or strategy anti-fragile to rapid real estate development would be to consider means by which you might funnel your own increased equity towards further fringes of your project, so first step would be conceptualizing your project as having further fringes.

Beyond obvious opportunity to collect/store water if needed, becoming anti-fragile to something like a hail producing thunderstorm will likely require the process of profiting from the losses of those less well prepared. Relatively benign example of this would be urban market farmers who have sturdy greenhouses and can up price very early crops in the spring and not bother to compete with the hordes at conventional planting harvest time.

As always, take any of my notes with huge grain of salt, because my current functioning is such that, for example, know how to create a roof to path to swale water management system for my project, but the reality is I’m still manually emptying a half dozen 5 gallon buckets and still need to at the very least throw a tarp up on leaky shed roof.

One of Peter Bane’s notes is that key design methodology towards the sort of hodge-podge growth exhibited by systems level design consists of two steps:

1) Start small and work outward from controlled front.
2) Remove limiting factors.

In terms of permaculture, typical initial controlled front would be house and nearby hardscape, because concrete is less chaotic than grass or bramble. In terms of ERE, typical initial controlled front would be the full-time salary job you already have. If you start from different initial conditions, such as flexible self-employment in the discard market or house not yet habitable, the pattern of hodge-podge growth will be different, because initial controlled front will be different. Similar applies to limiting factors that vary from the most typical.

It’s easy to just assign money as the universal limiting factor to any project, but really the limiting factor(s) is whatever you were going to buy next with the money. Labor is current limiting factor on my project, because 3 out of the 4 humans who are currently offering to help me for free (or pizza and a 6 pack) are going to bring way more Management along with their Labor than I can currently tolerate or well boundary. It will be interesting to see if one aging, chubby female with active colitis can make much progress or even effectively combat entropy of current state.

white belt
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by white belt »

@7W5

You always give me so much to think about.

From the financial perspective, I believe that one possibility for benefiting from gentrification on urban retrofit property is to practice something akin to the BRRR (Buy, Rehab, Rent, Refinance) strategy that's popular among many real estate investors. That would allow me to get cash out of the property in the event of extremely high appreciation, so that I could then dedicate that cash to higher taxes or expanding my project to other sites. Other possibilities are to use something like a HELOC or Home Equity loan. Of course if my property doesn't appreciate or even depreciates, I will likely still come out ahead due to the fact that I'm buying distressed property and forcing some appreciation from rehab.

The nice thing about having significant financial nest egg and focusing on dilapidated properties is that I have a lot of options in regards to the financial aspects. A lot will depend on macroeconomic factors at the time (e.g. inflation, interest rate, etc). The other nice thing about my prospective location is there is a 10 year tax abatement on the increased value of rehabs to unoccupied properties, which would allow me to essentially kick the property tax can down the road for quite a while (I'm trying to focus on a maximum of 7-10 year time frame for my project due to difficulty of predicting future).

I'll have to ponder how I can make my plan more anti-fragile with regards to most likely environmental challenges in the area like flooding and brown/blackouts due to heat wave. The ideas I've come up with so far are mostly in the resilient category like have backup sources of food, water, energy, and so on.

7Wannabe5
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

white belt wrote: I believe that one possibility for benefiting from gentrification on urban retrofit property is to practice something akin to the BRRR (Buy, Rehab, Rent, Refinance) strategy that's popular among many real estate investors.
True, but to the extent you use this sort of strategy, you will be operating more from the "businessman" quadrant than the "renaissance man" quadrant. Also, you may have to question why you are borrowing on a refinance when you already have a lot of liquidity in your overall investments. I'm puzzling through this a bit myself, because it does seem like property taxes attached to shelter costs (whether rented or owned) do well correlate with the extent to which others are competing with you for your lifestyle or access to high paying jobs, analogous to how other businesses may compete with your business for customers. In order to entirely function as Renaissance Man in the realm of shelter, you would have to do something like build your own shelter and other community assets(fire station, schools, waste removal, library, road maintenance crew) from scratch on the commons.

Obviously, it would be very difficult to make a profit growing corn on Manhattan real estate. It might even be difficult to make a profit renting out an apartment you own at occupancy rate of one median wage worker per available electrical outlet. If you are somebody who would like the advantages of City Mouse and Country Mouse, one solution is to have a City house and a Country house, but with both minimalized in terms of expense. So, for example, if/when your urban project neighborhood becomes gentrified to the extent that it is no longer possible to make profit growing much of anything besides maybe gourmet greens, you could likely profitably rent out all the space besides that which you want to reserve for yourself, and use cash flow to justify the purchase of either another dilapidated urban project or a rural project. Just roll your acquired skills, seeds and nursery plants, successful design ideas, and social connections along with you and your cash. Little known fact is that Johnny Appleseed actually died a quite wealthy man.

Then when the collapse does come, all you would have to do is roll the same process in reverse, because if trucks have stopped running or irrigation in California has stopped running, moving produce from the outskirts of your extended project to the city core of your extended project probably will have become profitable. Something like that.

EdithKeeler
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by EdithKeeler »

Checking in on the project and your health. How is everything going?

7Wannabe5
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Re: 7Wannabe5- Take 7- The Money Dimple

Post by 7Wannabe5 »

Well, I'm just barely keeping all my little balls up in the air. I've been meaning to do an update.

Health: The very expensive drug I am taking for inflammatory bowel disease is not working well enough to put me in remission. However, I can tell that it is helping to some extent, because when I went off it for a week due to gigantic paperwork hassle getting approval with insurance/GI office, my symptoms became worse. Scariest incident being very sudden, extreme pain, kind of like when you get a stitch in your side when running, but 100X worse. I was visiting with a grouchy old man, and I actually yelled for him to call 911, because I was doubled up on the floor, unable to get up, and I was about to pass out from the pain. But then the pain receded, like a fist slowly unclenching, so I sent the emergency crew away without me, even though I was still pretty shocky. My concern is what if that happens again when I am driving or similar situation.

I managed to find a new primary care physician who will provide continuity of care no matter what insurance I am carrying. I usually attempt to keep my income above the level needed to qualify for federal plan, even though I also strive to keep my expenses below that level, but the year of Covid messed me up because I had too much gift and unemployment income in the mix. I can also get a terrible preventative care only plan from my current part-time employer. I also managed to get an appointment with IBD specialty clinic at university research hospital in November. They also take all forms of insurance and conduct clinical trials. So, I think I have the financial part of this problem pretty well covered, but I still may find myself unpleasantly surprised when requalifying or doing my taxes next year. At this juncture, I am about $6000 out of pocket for this problem, so kind of the equivalent of unwanted/unplanned pregnancy with Rosemary's Baby which will add approximately 1 more Jacob to my yearly spending total.

Teaching: I started subbing part-time for special needs groups last week. Not the area for which I am most qualified, but given my current health status, I wanted position where there will always be another adult in the room if I have to run to the bathroom. Also, I very much feel like this is also an essential community service I can help by providing.

Book Business: Book sales are just beginning to start up again post-Covid. I've done quite well at the few I've attended. I have some more organizational busywork to complete, but I should definitely be at least low level cash flow positive fairly soon.

Permaculture/The Money Dimple: Definitely in slow-motion because I have been too exhausted to get much manual labor accomplished on my own, and Zuka broke into the shed and stole a bunch of my small tools and supplies. The Permaculture Manager is coming over today to start doing repairs/renovation to the garage/barn to make it suitable for book storage. He is going to replace rotting siding, repair the gutter and trim, secure the doors and window, and build some shelving out of pallets. So this is how my yield from last permaculture project/investment is now flowing into my new project. My son is also willing to help me out with hauling stuff around and going up on roof tasks, etc, one day/week just because he is amused by the weirdness of my new neighborhood. Other grouchy old men have also offered assistance even though they are pessimistic about my project in general.

My Old Permaculture Project in June
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First Harvest New Project
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Crawlspace Nightmare Revealed

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Permaculture Systems Failure (Apples dropped in August while I was feeling like crap)

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Permaculture Systems Success (Amphibians are sign of overall healthy micro-system)

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Total Weirdness (I was feelign super sick one day when I went to check on the property. I found a dead, very flattened, little rabbit on the grass. I just put one of the stumps from my tree trimming on top of the corpse temporarily, but the next time I came round, I discovered that somebody (Zuka?) had left the cowboy boots against the stump like a little Western memorial site for the rabbit.)

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