the search for ataraxia

Where are you and where are you going?
take2
Posts: 317
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: anesde's journal

Post by take2 »

It's been a while since my last post - time for an update. I have a tendency to only post when I'm feeling frustrated so I'll make an active effort to focus a bit more on the positive side of my life first, before getting into my current (very first-world) problems. I'm not sure if anyone reads this, but I welcome any comments if you can make it through the series of posts. I've split it up into three sections as I usually find it challenging to read one extremely long post.


[Part 1 / 3]



Positives

I've had a pretty eventual year thus far, including finally getting married. The first few months of the year were basically work-centric, as I was leading a very intense project that ended in early April. My DW was on an equally stressful work project, and the continued pandemic/winter weather made it a pretty difficult time for both of us. Luckily we commiserated together instead of taking it out on each other. We used the time to discuss what we want our life to look like long term. Its times like these where its evident that our consistent communication and commitment to each other is adding value to our lives and not a source of stress.

Since April my life at work has slowed quite a bit (more on this later), allowing me to focus on our wedding plans. We had a small civil ceremony in London back in May, and a more traditional wedding in Portugal in July. Unfortunately COVID still restricted what was possible, but we were both unwilling to postpone any longer. I would have liked to have more of my friends/family celebrate with us, and the day itself was the hottest in the last 10 years or so (c. 38C) so it wasn't the most comfortable, but life doesn't always cooperate with what we want!

Despite the heat and pandemic we managed to spend about 5 weeks in Portugal, including taking 3 weeks off for the wedding. I was under quite a bit of stress planning the event as my DW doesn't speak Portuguese, but I tried as much as possible to enjoy the time. A few of my very close friends from NY did make it out, and I planned a couple of fun activities for all of us to hang out before/after the wedding. We chartered two boats - one down the Douro river valley closer to the border of Spain and another leaving from Porto with a more city-centric landscape. Both trips were fantastic and got DW and I thinking about possibly launching a similar boating/hospitality enterprise in the future.

Immediately following the wedding we 'discovered' that my DW is pregnant. We knew it might take a while so we took the decision to stop using contraception back in March, but neither one of us thought it would happen that quickly. She's currently due in mid-March, so we're about 6 months away from the time of writing. We decided to make the most of the time we have until January as it will be difficult for her to travel much by then. This included a week holiday to the Algarve in August, a trip planned to Croatia in October, plans to go back to NY for Thanksgiving, and aiming to spend Christmas with her parents in her home country.

From a spending point of a view I dropped to an all-time low of $14.5k rolling 12 month spend at the end of March. This has since shot up rapidly given the wedding, reoccurrence of travel, etc. I'm at around $28k now, but suspect this will creep up to c. $33k over the next 8 months or so given our upcoming trips and until the outlier May-July costs fall out. Given I view the wedding & associated costs as a more of a one-time event I'm not too fussed about this. Realistically my cost data is not all that useful as I project my life moving forward given I don't really know yet what the impact of children will be, but I still track everything diligently out of habit. Ultimately I know the biggest factor will be housing, and if we can solve that in a way that complements our desired lifestyle everything else can be worked out.

From an investment point of view I went down the crypto rabbit hole last spring and decided to make a sizeable investment to diversify my portfolio. I was sitting on quite a bit of cash and was looking for something to invest it in. I didn't want to add to my stock portfolio and didn't have the time or desire to invest in more real property so I was looking for an alternative asset class. Time will tell whether it was a shrewd move or chasing tulips, but my personal view is that its becoming more dangerous to not have some exposure to it. That said, I wish I did a bit better on the timing, but I'm ahead on it as things stand now.

take2
Posts: 317
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: anesde's journal

Post by take2 »


[Part 2 / 3]



Musings / Conflicts


Work
I got promoted in May, with the raise/title going into effect from July. I had to fight for some clarity on the title given the aforementioned "technical" group I was placed in, but was satisfied to find out that the salary was the same, and indeed it's quite a good salary. I came to terms with the bonus being less, although it didn't feel great when I found out exactly how much less (c. 40%). Realistically though there is so much retention and taxes that the final amount actually paid out isn't life changing by any means. I resolved myself to just put in my time, collect my paycheck, and start exploring other options. I know I don't want to leave for another job in London, but perhaps expand my networking efforts to find a role in Lisbon, or come to terms with walking away altogether.

I wanted to reduce the focus on work so I made a conscious effort to improve my life in other areas when we returned from Portugal. This included signing up for cycle2work, rejoining crossfit, and signing up at the local library. It's early days but my goal is to get back into a more balanced lifestyle, ideally by going to crossfit 3x a week, reading a book every 1-2 weeks, and cycling to work each day. I feel reasonably confident that if I can stick with this I can have a clearer head in all aspects of my life.

Unfortunately my job appears to purposely try and actively damage my mental health. This is obviously a bit of a hyperbole but just this week there were impromptu raises across all lower levels to match the recent increases across other banks. Everyone knew what the "1-on-1" chats with the big boss were about and I was included on the list/invite. I was pleasantly surprised, and thought that given my understanding that the salary was meant to be equal at each level that I was also receiving it. However, about 10 minutes before I was meant to have the chat I received a message saying it was all a mistake, and I wasn't intended to be on the list. The big boss didn't have the courtesy of speaking to me but a few hours later I had a chat with one of the directors who was explicit about the fact that as part of the "technical" group I wasn't intended to be on the list, and there was now a clearer differential in compensation on both a salary and bonus basis.

I wish this didn't affect/bother me as much - I try to rationalise it all as understanding I'm still making a LOT more than I would be in my former industry, and the only reason I'm upset is my perceived inequality of receiving less than others. It reminds me of the famous monkey experiment where two monkeys facing each other are trained to perform a task in return for a treat. As long as both monkey receive the same treat they are happy, but as soon as one monkey receives a better treat the other is no longer happy with what he was previously content with. Given the stifling corporate culture I think the metaphor of monkeys in cages is all too accurate.

I think the worst part about this is the pity I receive from my colleagues, who all generally acknowledge this is vastly unfair and don't think I lack any skills that they have. Part of me thinks I should try and "prove the boss wrong" by either demonstrating beyond a doubt that I can perform above my level, or perhaps by working to secure a similar job elsewhere. However, if I'm honest with myself I really don't want to move up the ladder, and I don't really want to have to "prove myself" at a new organisation either, especially not based in London where I know I don't want to be long term.

The other issue I face at work is I really haven't been too busy since April. I've been involved in 3-4 various early stage opportunities that have either not progressed, or are moving very slowly without much momentum. Part of me doesn't want to get involved in anything else as I'm frustrated and angry at my perceived slights, and part of me is a bit worried about my perception if I go too long without being front and centre on a deal. I get the feeling that the big boss is almost doing this all on purpose and would prefer that I leave out of anger/frustration. We've now hired more junior people who could perform my role and thus I don't necessarily feel that I'm adding a ton of value, and get the impression the big boss sees it similarly. Not so much because of me personally, but more because I'm more expensive now than when I joined and what I do could just be done by someone cheaper and younger. I wouldn't even be surprised if they eventually end up making me redundant, although it would be a hard justification given they gave me the highest rating possible last year.

Realistically my only leverage is threatening to leave. The fantasy of quitting and storming out is a nice ego stroke, but as per above I don't see this as making a difference, and it really wouldn't help me personally. Given I don't want to be here for all that much longer it seems to be a better option to suck it up, take my (still objectively high) pay, and stick it out for another [8-20] months. This issue is somewhat compounded by the fact that I still really don't know what I want to do with my life.

take2
Posts: 317
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: anesde's journal

Post by take2 »


[Part 3 / 3]



Musings / Conflicts



Looking Forward

DW and I continue with our loose plan of [8-20] months. She'll be breaking the pregnancy news to her job next week, and depending on what kind of package she's offered it will feed into our decision. In the UK there's a maximum of 1 year statutory maternity leave, but that's paid at the statutory minimum which is not very much. Some companies offer better packages; usually its a policy but at her company its case-by-case. If she can get a good package, say [6] months at [50-70%] of her salary, with an obligation to come back for a minimum of [6] months following her leave it would make sense to stick it out a bit longer. In that case we would probably move into a slightly bigger place for [1-2] years just before the baby comes before leaving London. If she gets nothing, or something poor, we may look to hit the ejection button sooner, potentially as soon as this summer.

We're set on going to Portugal, but are undecided whether we head to the North, to live essentially for free in my mother's ancestral home (recently renovated), or to try and move to/secure jobs in Lisbon. I'm a bit afraid of leaving paid employment at 33/34 and moving to the middle of nowhere. It feels difficult that we would want to be there forever, and even more difficult that I would be able to secure a well-paying job somewhere else if/when we leave after [2-3] years. From a financial point of view I'm fairly confident we would be fine in the North, even if we wanted to eventually send our child[ren] to private schools. Lisbon is a lot more expensive and we might eventually need some kind of income for me to feel secure, especially if private schools were in the cards.

Part of me wants to try living in the North, even knowing that we would likely eventually get fed up with the small town vibe and the challenges of DW not speaking Portuguese. My fear is really stemming from feeling that I'm leaving so much money on the table by walking away from a well-paying job, and that I have very little confidence in my ability to secure a similar job if it doesn't work out and we want to leave and move to somewhere with a significantly higher COL. This is a bit irrational as the whole point of the last 11 years I've been working towards FIRE/ERE is to have options for these eventualities. Additionally, DW is an accountant and could almost certainty secure $20-30k of income working part time remotely without too much issue. I should have more confidence in myself to equally generate $20-30k/annum, as with both of us doing that there is really no scenario where we ever run out of money, even in very conservative assumptions of earning only 1% on my assets and needing up to $100-120k during the most expensive years of private schooling.


Thoughts on Skills

In some ways I feel that I've regressed since taking on this new job. In a positive sense, I make significantly more money, my portfolio has increased dramatically, and I've solidifed a healthy and happy relationship with my DW. However, the inferiority complex/imposter syndrome I've had since I've joined has been exacerbated with the conflicts at work and I feel that I've lost quite a bit of confidence as a result. I often feel a bit worthless, as if I have no real skills to speak of. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about what I want to do and ideally I would like to do something I enjoy on a part-time basis which would provide some kind of income stream. It's a bit depressing when I can't even think of anything I could do.

I have a younger cousin still in highschool who has successfully built and scaled an online business selling a product she makes herself. I'm not sure of the exact economics but I suspect she's clearing $1-2k/month regularly, with the ability to scale that up another 2-3x at the rate she's going. It's extremely impressive, and the sort of thing I would love to try and build up...except, I feel that I don't have any skills to make a product or provide a service.

My useful soft skills at my current job are generally the ability to organise, lead, review/synthesise information, assess due diligence on potential investments, etc. The only real "hard" skills I have is technical writing, mainly when submitting tenders for government projects. I am a good technical writer, but I don't particularly enjoy it. I find it quite tedious and frustrating in the moment, although I do get an endorphin rush after the end product. I could try and market myself as that, and perhaps after building up some clients I could make a decent wage working on a project basis. I'm not sure I would really enjoy it though.

From my previous career my useful soft skills were broadly the same, with some more hard skills in being fairly proficient in various CAD programmes. I haven't used any of those in the last few years, and realistically I would have to brush up/learn new skills if I tried my hand at freelance design work. From my hobbies I'm an intermediate salsa dancer (who hasn't danced properly in a few years), a casual exercise enthusiast (who's in mediocre shape), and I like to hike (though haven't in a few years). Not a whole lot there to go on.

I could look into developing/rehabbing another property, as I did in NJ. I certainly learned a lot from that experience, and would be able to apply some lessons learned, but I'm also not sure its something I want to do again. For now, my thoughts of living in Northern Portugal essentially revolve around building new skills, such as building a greenhouse, raising crops/livestock, making sheepskin rugs, making soap, making knives, building out a camper van. Exercising regularly, cooking daily, raising our child near my parents are also things I would like to do. I don't see how any of these will really generate any income, but realistically I wouldn't need to generate any income living that cheaply; we would be at a <1.0% SWR.

However, I don't know whether i would really enjoy doing this stuff or if its just a nice daydream when I'm fed up at work. I also worry about how we would be raising our child[ren] - in some ways I see living in rural Portugal as a fantastic experience, but in others I fear it would restrict opportunities. The reality is life in rural Portugal can be very stifling and I'm not sure going in without a fallback option is the best plan. When I talk this through with DW she tells me I worry and think of what might go wrong too often. She's fairly relaxed about the premise of possibly moving to NY (which would be an immigration hassle for her, but doable) which would open up a lot more options for my employment if needed, though neither one of us really wants to go to the US.


For now I'm going to focus on getting regular exercise, reading, and cycling to try and have a clear of a head as possible. As much as possible I don't want to focus on the conflicts at work but instead make more of an active effort in networking to try and expand any potential options in Lisbon or elsewhere.

take2
Posts: 317
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: anesde's journal

Post by take2 »

Writing that all out was quite cathartic. I should be doing this more often!

Reading back over what I wrote I think my main issue really goes back to a deep-rooted belief that a large sum of financial capital is the only way to define success. I had a nice long chat with my sister recently; she equally struggles with this perceived definition of "success", which was heavily instilled in us by our father when we were growing up. I catch myself often thinking/calculating that if I just stay another [1-2] years, and get [xx] return on it then I"ll have [xx] more which then will let me feel more comfortable trying out something else.

I basically sought out, both consciously and likely subconsciously, a career to optimise how much I receive in return for my time. I don't like what I do, and in fact it's often at odds with my own values. If I had more of an entrepreneurial drive I would have tried to build a business, but I let myself get trapped in the salaryman mindset early on and that kind of leap of faith now scares the shit out of me.

When I speak to friends and ask them whether they like what they do, most of them don't. I then ask them what they would do instead, and most have an answer, but claim that insufficient financial stability is what's stopping them. I almost envy them because I know how to solve that problem - I know how to drive my expenses down, maximise my income and invest the difference. What I don't know is what to do when that's done, or even when to know what "done" means.

2Birds1Stone
Posts: 1596
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:20 am
Location: Earth

Re: anesde's journal

Post by 2Birds1Stone »

Not only do people read your journal, some of us have been waiting for this update for a while ;)

A ton of stuff to unpack in your trilogy of posts....

Firstly, congratulations on finally being able to get married, and the quick road to fatherhood!

With regards to your portfolio.....if you were at 3% SWR back in May of 2020 shortly after the markets tanked and began to recover, I can only imagine that you're in an even better place now. With dual incomes and such low spending you've surely saved and seen appreciation that isn't insignificant! We're in an extremely similar stage in life (minus the pregnant wife!) wrt finances, search for purpose/meaning after work, and most importantly dead set on moving to Portugal permanently. You have Portuguese roots and family so I'm sure this isn't news to you, but Portugal continues to be insanely affordable by USA and UK standards. We've been doing an insane amount of research into specific costs of housing, insurance, utilities, food, etc......and pretty much anywhere outside of Lisbon it appears that a very comfortable middle to even upper middleclass lifestyle could be had for $2.5-3k USD/month for a couple or even a family. For an ERE type who has the inclination to build some social capital and do a little bit to add value to the community, there's no doubt that you can live incredibly well for much less.

Finances aside, Portugal remains a country that's constantly improving infrastructure and technology, but still offers a place to raise a family or live a life that's very isolated from the typical western "rat race" (outside of Lisbon). That's the most appealing thing to us. Weather that's conducive to outdoor lifestyle, a lot of natural beauty, relatively great climate, despite some cold and wet winters in the north. DW and I have relied on many sources for information, but the recurring theme is that it's an incredible place to slow down life and live more in the moment. I couldn't imagine wanting to return to NY for any other reason other than the potential $$ of a high income and high stress job here.

Check out idealista, the rentals are abundant! Maybe your DW would like to try living for 6-12 months in a few areas before claiming a permanent home base? The Algarve looks to offer some great smaller towns/municipalities outside of the typical tourism areas that are drier than the north but similar in cost. The Silver Coast could provide easy access to Lisbon without the hustle/bustle and price tag too. If you're going to do private school, you have 5+ years between now and when you need to be near a school.

We're very much similar hobby wise, my DW is obsessed with the idea of homesteading and having some livestock eventually. From a climate change perspective, north Portugal checks a ton of boxes. Porto airport also opens up most of Europe really easily.

Our timeline is a bit sooner than yours, with the goal of moving over there in May. Hope our paths cross.....

take2
Posts: 317
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: anesde's journal

Post by take2 »

Cheers 2B1S! Always nice to know someone is following along.

That’s great that you’re set on Portugal. I would be interested in seeing some of the sources you’re researching if you can send them through?

My biggest hesitation with homesteading on my mother’s ancestral home is the seclusion. It’s actually not that far from Braga, Barcelos and even Porto but it’s virtually impossible to live there without a car. I can deal with that but what I love about my life now is walking/cycling everywhere. It would be a bit of a drag to give that up. I know Lisbon, Porto, even some of the other smaller cities/towns are very pedestrian/cyclist friendly but realistically the rural villages simply aren’t.

Agree about climate change, although even this past summer had me worried as the kind of heat we experienced is far from normal. It was balanced out with a fair amount of rainy/wet days but definitely not “normal”. From a climate change perspective ironically staying in the UK would probably be our best bet.

I think where we are leaning is maximising the time in the UK, both from a financial perspective and making the most of our time left here. I need to write another post about how I’ve focussed too much on work and not enough on my life. With a countdown to departure (and the baby!) I want to enjoy cycling, CrossFit, maybe get back into salsa dancing, etc as much as I can before we go. Following that likely a commitment for [2 years] to try the homesteading lifestyle at near-zero cost and see what else we come up with….

Western Red Cedar
Posts: 1205
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:15 pm

Re: anesde's journal

Post by Western Red Cedar »

Great update. Congratulations on the marriage, and to you and your wife on the new baby!

Do you think that if you transition away from London, and a professional environment with highly compensated colleagues, you may stop equating financial capital and gains with success? I imagine that type of environment is influencing you on some level.

I'd highly recommend focusing on some of those activities to create more work life balance. Particularly before your baby arrives. I've focused pretty heavily on exercise recently and it really helps me manage work-related stress. I think it is also a great way to establish habits/routines to help ease into a new life without traditional work.

In terms of skills - you are a great writer and fluent(?) in Portuguese and English. It seems like there would be loads of opportunities to leverage those skills to help expats or tourists. For example, you could probably help manage rehabilitation projects for expats with little knowledge of Portuguese and/or construction. I think you could probably set something up that adds value to the local Portuguese community as well.

@2B1S - Is there a reason you landed on Portugal as opposed to Spain? Costs/culture/other?

2Birds1Stone
Posts: 1596
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:20 am
Location: Earth

Re: anesde's journal

Post by 2Birds1Stone »

Here are two of the videos that I enjoyed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKpqNUaqbHU
https://youtu.be/Q4-oCoTo4nY

We personally couldn't do the completely small village life......we need some cafe culture and enjoy what a mid tier city has to offer.....but a bigger town that's within easy public transport of a city like Porto/Lisbon/Coimbra etc would be sweet. The guy from the UK in the second video has something similar, though leaning toward more rural than we would want.

@WRC, we're not ruling out Spain yet in terms of eventually buying a place. Would love to live there 6-12 months and explore the different parts to get a feel for it. Portugal checks most of the boxes for us, and it's generally safer and more welcoming to foreigners. The English proficiency index is much higher too, so you're less likely to have issues with communication outside of major cities.....though Spanish is much easier to learn and DW and I have a solid baseline to build on. I can see us becoming fluent in Spanish in a few short years of immersion. It's a tough call.....the best part is they are neighbors, so you can spend time in both regardless of which you chose to settle down in.

AxelHeyst
Posts: 2117
Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:55 pm
Contact:

Re: anesde's journal

Post by AxelHeyst »

Hey anesde, I also am always excited to see an update in your journal. Such a cool journey you've been on, and I really appreciate the depth of introspection that you share with us.

I have some thoughts. [Standard caveat: Obviously, I only know what you've explained here, and I don't pretend to know what's best for you, etc etc. The below is just the sort of devil's advocacy/poke in the brain that I appreciate in my journal, so, golden rule and all that.]

Here's what runs through my head reading your latest posts:
  • Sounds like you're already at 3%SWR? As in, the number that many people us as the definition of "FI AF: put a fork in me, I'm done."
  • You have a broad set of highly valued skills: "organize, lead, review/synthesize information, assess due diligence on potential investments", and also technical writing. Most people suck at all of those things. Any *one* of those things makes you eminently valuable, and the combination of all of them is a rare package. And they aren't hyperspecialized, meaning, you aren't just an expert on some very specific software package that changes frequently (e.g. I was a 99th percentile expert on Revit/BIM delivery for MEP as of December 2015, but I'm probably 60th percentile by now at best).
  • I think the idea that to do a side hustle means you have to come up with the idea and run it all by yourself, like your nephew, is only one option among many. I'm dealing with more very small startups, and most of them have someone who is in a support role whose job is basically to be the competent organized person to help the founder not trip over themselves. A lot of these folks seem to have their hand in several startups at once - in other words, its not a "you have to be FTE at just one place". There's probably thousands of little companies *right now* that would be beyond stoked to have you be involved to the tune of 4-20hrs/wk. Remotely. This is just one example of many - maybe you find you love making custom ornate doors in the barn out back behind your Portugese villa and rich expats pay you like $5k/door, who knows. The world will be your oyster.
  • I think it's unrealistic to assume that you'll know what you'll want to do after you end FTE. You're going to be a different person. That was my experience with going to the other side, and it's a common theme among FIREd stories.
  • Another very common story is people who fully FIRE with no intention of working again and then accidentally make money doing stuff they really enjoy. (The other "failure" mode is people who can't stand not working so they go back to work.)
  • Your kid is coming in 6 months.
  • You're talking about quitting in 8-20 months.
  • Meaning you're talking about working through, and for 2-12 months after, the birth of your first child, (which as far as I can tell is sort of like being a zombie, I mean you think work sucks *now*, wait till you're chronically sleep deprived,) while being...
  • ...at 3%SWR or thereabouts. And you are super employable/valuable.
  • Bro. QUIT!
<3

Jin+Guice
Posts: 1276
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2018 8:15 am

Re: anesde's journal

Post by Jin+Guice »

IMO, you are free and staying at your job is the more risky option by almost any possible measure. Congratulations!

take2
Posts: 317
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: anesde's journal

Post by take2 »

Western Red Cedar wrote:
Wed Sep 15, 2021 6:34 pm
Thanks for taking the time to respond WRC

I agree the environment is influencing me, and that if I step away from it I will likely feel different. My hesitation/fear is more centred on the fact that I'm still quite young (turning 33 in a few weeks) and walking away would be more akin to closing a door than hitting a pause button. Given I somewhat transitioned industries 3 years ago I don't feel that I have the requisite connections in either of them to easily get a [high-paying] job again if I would ever want/need one. I realise I sound a bit like an inmate with Stockholm Syndrome but the reality is with my current income and spending the "firehose" of savings is so great that it really does feel like throwing something away. I don't really want to post numbers here but as a gauge I have the potential to save roughly 5-6 years of my average annual spending (based on 5 years historical) each year that I continue to work; i.e. >80% post-tax savings rate. As I don't have confidence that such a job will be available to me in the future, and I don't yet know exactly how much our lives post-children will cost I'm erring on the side of caution in that more money is better than less.

100% agree on the exercise. I'm currently at 5 of the past 10 days going to crossfit, and I'm planning on going again this evening. It's already helping quite a bit, but I know from past experience I need to keep it up for 2-3 months to really gain the benefits. I've found that immediately after the intense workouts I feel great, and that will last for roughly half a day or so before my worries pick up again. When I was regularly working out intensely 3+ years ago I remember basically always feeling relaxed and carefree; it took a lot to get me stressed out whilst now my mind is full of worries. I'm hoping by mid-November or so I'll get my brain/body back into that rhythm.

Thanks for the kinds words and I realise you're probably right re: skills. I am fluent in Portuguese but my ability to write isn't nearly as developed as in English. In Portuguese, especially for business/formal correspondence, there is almost an entirely different way to write that I'm not so familiar with. Regardless, those are good ideas as to what I might be able to do - I'll keep them in mind as I continue to work out my thoughts.

take2
Posts: 317
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: anesde's journal

Post by take2 »

2Birds1Stone wrote:
Thu Sep 16, 2021 8:52 am
We personally couldn't do the completely small village life......we need some cafe culture and enjoy what a mid tier city has to offer.....but a bigger town that's within easy public transport of a city like Porto/Lisbon/Coimbra etc would be sweet.
Thanks for the videos! DW and I watched both of them and were intrigued. I've since watched another and I'll set some time aside this weekend to watch a few more. I agree with you that location matters a lot, and that life in a small village can be bleak. What sorts of ideas do you have in terms of how you would look to spend your time? I ask because in one of your recent posts on your journal you mentioned you were struggling with purpose; I'm happy to be directed back to your journal if its more appropriate to discuss there.

I feel a similar struggle and can't help but wonder if my daydreams of living in rural Portugal aren't really a reflection of what I want, but rather just a mental escape from current frustrations. Would I really be any happier spending my days gardening, building out a camper van, raising animals? Maybe? But realistically I've never done those things and I don't do any of them now. They can also easily lead towards a life of isolation (especially if done in a secluded location) which I know is definitely not healthy for me long term. Between my move to London, overly focussing on work the past 3 years, the COVID debacle, and a highly introverted DW I'm already more socially isolated than I prefer.

What I think I need is to get involved in interesting group projects that would provide opportunities for socializing, for keeping my brain sharp, and perhaps to help find some purpose. If some of those also provided some income it would fit in nicely with my overall web-of-goals.

take2
Posts: 317
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: anesde's journal

Post by take2 »

AxelHeyst wrote:
Fri Sep 17, 2021 1:55 pm
Hey AH - thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts; you make some excellent points. I'm curious as to what sorts of start-ups you're involved in, and how you entered that world? It's something I would like to start exploring.

I agree its unrealistic for me to know exactly what I'm going to do when I give up FTE, but I think having a semblance of ideas/activities (and preferably already embarking on [some of] those) is a better way to transition than a hard stop. Part of this is the drastic life change we're currently envisioning; i.e. changing not only our employment situation, but also geographical location, type of location (rural vs. urban), and family structure (no kids to kids). Any one of those changes by itself would be enough to cause some introspection, but all of them at once makes it a bit unnerving. I think it could be different for people who FIRE more traditionally - i.e. they are already settled in their lives and are just taking the job out of it. All of this to say that I really want to ensure it's what I want before I pull the trigger, especially if certain actions are in any way irreversible.

I don't have any strong aversion to working again, but its difficult for me to associate doing paid work for any other reason other than the pay. That leads me to think, well, I already have just about the highest-paying job I can get so I might as well keep it. This is a bit simplistic, because in reality if someone offered me [70%] of what I make but in an environment closer to what I had when I first moved to London (9-5, nice/less ambitious colleagues, less pressure, time to do other things, etc) I would probably take it. I suppose I could just try to do that and discard/post-pone my ERE/FIRE plans. It certainly seems "easier" to conform with society in that way. A similar (but less "easy") option would be to become an entrepreneur, or a property developer. If I was genuinely interested in building a business, or developing another house it would keep me occupied/focused and perhaps offer some fulfilment along with profit. I suppose its the same question that's been discussed on the forum of freedom-from vs. freedom-to. I do have the ability to have freedom-from my job, which is nice. However, I'm not quite sure what the "to" in my quest for freedom-to is.

re: working after first child - you're probably right. I'm not sure how I'll react to that, but I can imagine it will not be easy. Neither one of us do well on low sleep now, so I'm sure it will all be exacerbated. I'm weirdly not that worried about that though; maybe it hasn't yet hit me in full, or maybe its because I see quite a lot of new parents in my workplace who seem to be managing well, or at least not visibly struggling. I also tend to think a bit of adversity is good in life, and if I had to struggle with that for a few months maybe it would help me to establish what I really want.

On finances - I'm not sure what the number is I'd be looking to spend long term, so its hard to say on SWR. From a frugality/ERE perspective both DW and I don't adhere to consumerism, rarely (if ever) go out to expensive restaurants, and up to now have been happy living in a small, relatively cheap 1 bed flat. Given what I wrote above about unnerving big life changes, I think I want to see the initial impact of the biggest change (having a kid) before making any other major life changes.


Jin+Guice wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 3:08 pm
IMO, you are free and staying at your job is the more risky option by almost any possible measure. Congratulations!
Thanks J+G I've actually thought quite a bit about this myself, even before you posted it. There is a strong case that staying put is a riskier option then (seemingly) throwing caution to the wind. For instance, both of my parents are older and not in great health. Not taking the time to be with them while I can is a risk, and one that can't be undone if the inevitable happens before I make a move.

What other key risks are you alluding to? I'd be grateful if you could expand your thoughts as I like (as much as possible) to consider all factors.

AxelHeyst
Posts: 2117
Joined: Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:55 pm
Contact:

Re: anesde's journal

Post by AxelHeyst »

What I "do" professionally since 2016 is 3d visualization, mostly for engineering type applications. Archviz but for technical nerdy stuff - my value proposition is "I make videos about stuff that's difficult to explain with just words or simple charts and diagrams." Most of my work I did at my last company, an MEP firm, but I've been approached by other companies for freelance work mostly through word of mouth, although one contract I got via a conference I gave a presentation at. I've worked with a hybrid solar product company (evacuated tube solar thermal + PV cells), a plant-based air filtration device company, a variable volume air diffuser company, and a company making a device that aligns your spine when you sit in any kind of chair. All of these were people approaching me, to date I haven't put any effort into marketing or BD (that'll change next year). When I do, I intend to continue to pursue similar kinds of outfits to work with - I enjoy working directly with founders and very small teams.

I don't know what they are exactly, but I know there are organizations out there dedicated to small companies just getting off the ground. My perception is that many of these founders are very networked (one of my potential contracts was word of mouth through a "Canadian female entrepreneurs" network, for example), implying that you just need one entry point. Then just do a good job and be a good person, and your reputation is "in".

I do see that you're solving for a ton of variables and working with a lot of uncertainty, so, compassion for that. There's no obvious path here. I'm not a parent, but my GF is a nanny of 16years, so she's been inside a lot of houses with 1-5 infants through toddlers. In *some* ways she knows more about being a parent than most parents, because most parents only spend a couple years with little ones while she's spent a decade and a half (she gets to go home at the end of the day though, so that's different), and she's been able to iterate her skills over and over again. Just based off of hearing her talk about what it's like in these houses for the parents, if it were me, I'd do just about anything to not have to juggle a career/FTE with being a new dad, if the option were remotely available to me. Even if I decided to call it a "long new-dad sabbatical", so the optics externally was just that I'd "paused" my career as opposed to canceling it.

This is approximately relevant:
https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html

User avatar
mountainFrugal
Posts: 1125
Joined: Fri May 07, 2021 2:26 pm

Re: anesde's journal

Post by mountainFrugal »

If you are interested in the Startup Game: https://www.workatastartup.com/ single application for all the YCombinator companies. You can also search for specific roles depending on your skill set and you can find remote/consulting/gig work based on what is ideal for your lifestyle.

Western Red Cedar
Posts: 1205
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:15 pm

Re: anesde's journal

Post by Western Red Cedar »

I can relate to so much of what you write here. Perhaps that is why you found your way to my journal a while back.
anesde wrote:
Wed Sep 15, 2021 11:58 am
Reading back over what I wrote I think my main issue really goes back to a deep-rooted belief that a large sum of financial capital is the only way to define success. I had a nice long chat with my sister recently; she equally struggles with this perceived definition of "success", which was heavily instilled in us by our father when we were growing up. I catch myself often thinking/calculating that if I just stay another [1-2] years, and get [xx] return on it then I"ll have [xx] more which then will let me feel more comfortable trying out something else.

I basically sought out, both consciously and likely subconsciously, a career to optimise how much I receive in return for my time. I don't like what I do, and in fact it's often at odds with my own values.
It sounds like it might be helpful to think about how much is enough for you. The link @AH posted above is a great prompt to think differently. Those are some of the reasons why I'm willing to walk away from a perfectly good career, at which I am well suited, to pursue other opportunities in life. Here is a Kurt Vonnegut poem that also helped me frame things early in my FI path.


Joe Heller
True story, Word of Honor:
Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
now dead,
and I were at a party given by a billionaire
on Shelter Island.
I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel ‘Catch-22’
has earned in its entire history?”
And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”
Not bad! Rest in peace!”
— Kurt Vonnegut


Take what I say with a grain of salt, because I'm still working full-time and only about 3/4 of the way to lean FI as a household.

What has really helped me psychologically prepare to make the leap is to think about my next phases as experiments or trials. For a long time I thought that if I left my career for a year or two, I would be closing a door. That is probably true in some sense, but I'm still in my 30's and realize I could easily find another job after a long break if that is what I wanted.

Thinking of the future in less certain terms made me much less anxious and stressed out about walking away from my current circumstances. It also relieves a little pressure in terms of pursuing things I think I might be interested in, but aren't really that appealing.
anesde wrote:
Tue Sep 21, 2021 11:39 am
I don't have any strong aversion to working again, but its difficult for me to associate doing paid work for any other reason other than the pay. That leads me to think, well, I already have just about the highest-paying job I can get so I might as well keep it. This is a bit simplistic, because in reality if someone offered me [70%] of what I make but in an environment closer to what I had when I first moved to London (9-5, nice/less ambitious colleagues, less pressure, time to do other things, etc) I would probably take it.
I think this statement above is quite relevant and an important insight. It seems you have a good opportunity to step away if you wanted when your baby arrives. You could treat that as a trial FIRE/ERE run. You may not be able to move back into the same position or salary range if you make that move, but I bet you could still land a good paying job with more reasonable hours after a year away. @2B1S and @Tyler9000 are examples of this.

You have the perfect story/excuse of spending time with your newborn and family if you decide after 6 months or a year that you want to go back to work. Whenever I sit on interviews and hear stories like that, I tend to have more respect for the candidate, and I think my management team does as well. That is a reflection of the fact that we have a pretty good office culture. You want to be in a place with a good culture if you are starting a new family.

2Birds1Stone
Posts: 1596
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:20 am
Location: Earth

Re: anesde's journal

Post by 2Birds1Stone »

anesde wrote:
Tue Sep 21, 2021 8:11 am
What sorts of ideas do you have in terms of how you would look to spend your time? I ask because in one of your recent posts on your journal you mentioned you were struggling with purpose; I'm happy to be directed back to your journal if its more appropriate to discuss there.
While I'm still relatively young and healthy, much of my time will be spent exploring the immediate and moderately distant areas by foot/bicycle/motorbike. DW and I both love to hike, I'm also an avid XC mountain biker, and we both enjoy leisurely bike touring. The climate is great for that sort of stuff much of the year. I really want to learn how to surf, as most board sports attempted over the past few decades have come naturally and were very enjoyable. We both want to get involved in homesteading as well as building with natural materials. When looking at workaway website, there are a TON of folks looking for a helping hand in Portugal/Spain with these sorts of projects. Eventually may purchase some land and attempt our own down the line. DW and I both enjoyed the little bit of sailing we dabbled with, PT offers a great place to learn how to crew and get into that community without owning our own boat. A friend I made while living in Lisbon is an American expat married to a Portuguese woman, he's volunteering at a local bike shop/clinic doing free repairs and teaching bicycle repairs, organizing group rides, and integrating other English speaking foreigners into the local bike culture. He's welcoming my help whenever I'm ready.

We would like to focus on getting deeper into the local community. Finding people that share similar values, goals, interests and being the type of friends we would like to have ourselves. The Latin culture is very community and family focused, and even as someone not wanting kids of their own this is very appealing. Long lunches, late nights eating tapas and drinking Super Bock, taking road trips to go camping/fishing/exploring with others would be great too. We'll likely spend a few months out of the year in Poland where I have a lot of family and some friends, which will also give us a second base to leverage. Hosting our family/friends from the USA would also be something that appeals to DW and I. Besides that I hope to sharpen my cooking skills, continue focusing on fitness through weight training and some trail running, and getting involved in nature conservation and ecological causes.

Between all of that, there will surely be tons of things that I can't even think of now because they will be completely new to us. After a few years of living a less stressed life that doesn't revolve around earning a paycheck, I can't see how someone who is connected to community, gives their time to others, and possesses a variety of skills won't accidentally make money or have low costs as a result of bartering one type of value for another.

Maybe one day we start a eco-tour company for English speaking tourists and charge a premium while diverting much of those profits back into local community and causes? Building micro-shelters from recycled materials and selling them? Doing something online based that doesn't necessarily rely on the local infrastructure/economy.......the possibilities seem endless.

take2
Posts: 317
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2019 8:32 am

Re: anesde's journal

Post by take2 »

I'll come back to responding to the helpful posts above, but wanted to jot down some thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind this past week. Writing out my thoughts helped quite a bit and I want to try and continue to build the habit though it's a bit difficult to structure a stream of consciousness vs. recap of the past.

Regaining Mental Clarity

The exercise and reading has already started to improve my mood and mental clarity. I finished a couple of fiction novels (the first two books in Ken Follet's Kingsbridge series) and listened to Yuval Noah's Homo Deus via audiobook. I've now picked up a couple of books on Stoicism which I'm working my way through. So far this has all helped me to connect different concepts together and really demonstrated the importance for me to have multiple focus points in life to keep a wider perspective. I have a tendency to get overly focused on whatever is in front of me at the moment (work, wedding, etc) which makes it all too easy to give an excessive amount of importance/effort/despair to the task at hand.

I've also had a series of informative discussions with some colleagues about different career and life issues. It's become clearer to me that the majority of them are quite unhappy, or at least quite unfulfilled in their lives. I mentioned to one colleague over group drinks that my wife and I are expecting; she was very happy for me but it was obvious and a bit heartbreaking to see that she felt her own "biological clock" ticking. Another colleague confided in me that he was accelerating the plans for his own wedding as his mother has a terminal illness without much time left. A third (older) colleague and I had a refreshing discussion about the recent technical/financial differentiation; he isn't a full time employee but rather a consultant and he was direct in saying the organisation's clear dysfunction/inability to manage people was a reason he would never want to become a full time employee, and indeed why he'll likely be leaving in the near term.

It's a bit morose that I needed to see other's frustrations/difficulties/tragedies to put my own into perspective, but it did have that effect. In addition, some recent experiences have further solidified my view that my desired lifestyle isn't very compatible with my current career. For example, DW and I went to dinner with a colleague and his wife to a (somewhat) fancy restaurant. We had invited them to our civil ceremony/celebration dinner back in May and as a gift they took us out. I didn't really enjoy the experience; the four of us didn't really gel, I was put off by the over the top service, and I just kept thinking I make better food at home. I didn't digest the food that well, causing me to remember that I used to have frequent digestive issues when I was younger (tied to frequently eating out) but it's a rare occurrence nowadays, as we eat virtually every meal at home.

As another example, I had the misfortune of sitting next to the "big boss" at a recent company outing. He's a very strange fellow, and spent a lot of time talking about the difficulties he has with getting water to his villa in southern Europe. Apparently his well isn't sufficient "for the house, garden and pool" and he can't get a municipal connection so he literally trucks water in daily to maintain it all in the heat of the summer. Between his lack of empathy for his employee's wellbeing and his apparent one-man crusade to destroy the environment it's kind of hard not to view him as an evil cartoon character.

Anyway, the above and some other experiences has caused me resonate quite a bit with the below from @white belt's journal:
white belt wrote:
Sun Sep 19, 2021 4:58 pm
[...]
* = Maybe not an entirely true assumption, but given that we see almost no one with 1x JAFI expenses making >$100k a year, there is something to it.
I don't want to hijack his journal (though many thanks to @white belt as I've gained a lot by reading through your journal) so I'll post some thoughts here. I'm one of the (apparently rare?) people that has been striving for both ends of the "dial" (go hard or go home! :D ). Although I haven't reached 1x JAFI, I have hit <1.5x JAFI on a rolling 12 month basis while simultaneously earning >>>$100k/year. I equally have colleagues/friends/acquaintances that live on both sides of that dial; on the spending side its family/friends/acquaintances in Portugal who really have no other options (but are generally happy and maintain a good life). On the earning side its friends/colleagues/acquaintances in NYC/London who are, as a class, generally unhappy (this is a gross stereotype but not miles from the truth). The worst-hit are some friends I grew up with who are chasing the high-expense lifestyle but without the high income.

I've never really thought this juxtaposition was all that strange because I grew up with it; my mother reduced/reused/recycled everything as she grew up living that lifestyle in rural Portugal, while my father "achieved" the American Dream by building his own business and "making it". So I was naturally drawn to both extremes as I was taught never to waste anything/spend little whilst simultaneously taught to make as much money as possible. I've been extremely fortunate to meet my DW who grew up without much and doesn't have any luxurious wants, but has also established herself as a high-earner. Being on the same income/expense wavelength is a key factor in the strength of our relationship.

However, besides DW I don't really know anyone "in real life" who's in a similar situation. I think this dichotomy is partially the cause of my uncertainty/anxiety; I feel a strong pull from both sides of the dial and fear that walking away from a high paying career is closing a door/option, or perhaps too far astray from a conventional lifestyle. Undertaking a massive lifestyle change without anyone to confide in, and without any "real life" examples to follow/observe makes it seem much more challenging than it probably really is. To this extent, I'm trying to come up with a way to bridge this in a way that preserves options and seems less "extreme" (yes, I appreciate the irony of writing this on the ERE forums :D )


Less Extreme Escape Plan

I'm starting to see a path towards moving to Portugal whilst maintaining an income. I brought up the idea of "downsizing" from a FTE to becoming a consultant with my line manager last week. He helpfully said it could definitely be an option, whilst somewhat unhelpfully adding that he thinks it would be a terrible mistake for me to do such a thing at this point in my career (this is a prime example of the dichotomy mentioned above).

Anyway, it's (very) early days but an idea is starting to form in my mind. If I "downsize" to being a consultant (which would mean I would have to start my own company, have a separate email address, invoice for my time, but otherwise be working full time for the company) it would be something like 50-60% paycut (gross). However, if I can move remotely to Portugal and apply/qualify for the Non-Habitual Residency Scheme (NHR) there's a chance my income would only be taxed at a flat 20% (subject to meeting certain criteria, which I need to research more). That would mean my net paycut would only be c. 80% of what it is now (the dramatic difference is mainly due to being in the highest tax bracket as well as partial retention on my bonus which is subject to a 4 year vesting schedule). The NHR scheme is valid for 10 years and has an added benefit that all non-Portuguese sourced income (i.e. my investment income in US) would be tax-free during that period. This benefit alone is enough to justify trying as taxes on investment income would otherwise be a large drag on the portfolio (I would still need to pay US taxes on them, but those are much less than their Portuguese counterpart).

I'm fairly certain I wouldn't qualify for the NHR scheme without a job/contract, so something like this would be necessary. However, even if I decide to leave after a year, or perhaps start consulting for other clients (if I successfully build up a network and enjoy the work), it would be worth it as my current understanding (to be further DD'ed) is you can't get "kicked out" of the scheme. I will explore the consultancy route more with my line manager next week, but on the surface I can see the appeal for my company; they would pay me a lot less, no longer have to pay me a pension, and no longer have to deal with the strife caused between the technical/financial split. Theoretically I would still be doing the same amount of work for them, albeit 100% remotely. There's a chance they might not go for it, or institute some onerous conditions, but given we just had another person quit today I think they might entertain the prospect.

On my side the only real thing I would be losing is money, long term career prospects and a pension. The money part is somewhat irrelevant, especially if we relocate to Portugal, and I've known for a long time that I don't really have long term career ambitions. The pension part doesn't really matter as I've maxed out my 401k for almost every year I worked in the US, did the same for the last 3 years with my UK pension, and continue to max out my IRA each year. These will all continue to compound for the next 30ish years before I tap into them, and they're just a back-up plan to the primary ERE/FIRE plan anyway. Additionally, I know there are a lot more tax optimisation strategies for business owners so I would end up exploring that rabbit hole as well.

ETA:
If I can pull this off I would see first shifting my family structure (DINKs to parents), shortly afterwards shifting my lifestyle (London to Portugal), but not being simultaneously forced to shift my income situation (income to no income), whilst helpfully gaining something (qualifying for NHR). This would be easier for me to handle (don't feel like I'm throwing something away), and also easier to explain to others (i.e. "I'm not crazy, I'm just working remotely from Portugal"). It also allows me to keep a part of my brain engaged and an opportunity to remain involved in my industry whilst beginning to get involved in my (seemingly) preferred lifestyle. It doesn't restrict any future options to cut ties completely if that's what I eventually decide, and potentially opens up new doors to consult for other companies if I want to/am able to develop that. This feels like a better overall solution vs. waiting in London for an arbitrary amount of time and then ripping the cord.

Aspirant
Posts: 125
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2018 10:57 am
Location: 65 deg north

Re: the search for ataraxia

Post by Aspirant »

You could use the baby as an excuse with the negotiations for part time remote work. Reframe it as a part time paternity leave. Talk about family obligations, but say that you still want to "do right" for the company and stay involved in your industry 😉

As you are not certain about pulling the plug, just think of it as family time (also more socially acceptable excuse than retiring in your thirties). Your significant other will appreciate the time you give during the baby years. I had to work full time because I am not in your financial situation and I regret that in retrospect.

After a couple of years you can decide what are the next steps when you have experience how the life in Portugal is like. Maybe you will miss foggy London (I doubt that 😆).

Jin+Guice
Posts: 1276
Joined: Sat Jun 30, 2018 8:15 am

Re: the search for ataraxia

Post by Jin+Guice »

take2 wrote:
Tue Sep 21, 2021 12:17 pm
What other key risks are you alluding to? I'd be grateful if you could expand your thoughts as I like (as much as possible) to consider all factors.
I hope this doesn't get too abstract to be meaningful to you, but appealing to Jacob's use of Plato's Cave as a metaphor for Industrialized Consumerism is the most concise way I can think of the summarize a whole category of myriad risks you take.

Inside the cave of industrialized consumerism, money represents safety. Money to buy essential services, hedge against unforeseen catastrophe and pay for pleasure. This the world you, I, and our parents were born into and it's the world my grandparents and great-grandparents died in. All of these people and nearly everyone I've ever met has encouraged me to master this world as the only true world. Money is safety. Money is security. And inside this world, this is true. It is the security of the shadows on the wall. That is the world you were born into. That world exists all around you and so, it is real security, in that sense.

If you can escape the shackles and see more of the cave and perhaps the exit, you will see that there are threats that can come from behind those shackled to the world of industrialized consumerism, even those who have mastered its rules. These threats are accepted as rules of the shadow game and one can only escape them by, at least in part, rejecting the game.

Missing time with your parents as they age is one of them. Inside the game of industrialized consumerism this is an expected and accepted sacrifice. Lip service is paid to a bygone era where this was not true, but then it's back to work. The serious personal threat might not be as clear as others, as it is a longterm mental and emotional threat, but it is a risk none the less.

Inside the game of industrial capitalism, it is expected that health is subservient to earning potential. Of course we all know we SHOULD take care of ourselves, but we sacrifice for the almighty dollar. We placate ourselves with food, booze and drugs (I did this as recently as Wednesday after a long shift), the emotional ramifications of which take years of escape to realize. I do not think there is anything inherently wrong with comfort food, booze or drugs, it is over-using them to numb or comfort yourself as the system takes its toll that is the risk.

If gyms are needed to workout, exercise is expensive, time consuming and boring, if they are not.... (no offense to anyone who enjoys some of the initially good qualities of modern gyms).

There are hundreds of these unforeseen risks. Not being able to afford a life saving surgery is seen as a HUGE risk, but avoiding the conditions that lead to this surgery is a expected. I work in surgery. It can be a life saving fucking miracle, but on average, you do not want to have surgery. You want to avoid the conditions that lead to surgery WHENEVER POSSIBLE.

Money is the source of security, but is a very specific systematic security and the system has inherent risks that everyone inside it is blind to. Moreover, the risks of the system are well known and there is somewhat of a social safety net against them. The risks outside the system, which the system denies exists, are not well hedged.

If you live in the U.S. or England, you live in, by the standards of Industrialized Capitalism's economic religion, the wealthiest place in the wealthiest time to ever exist. On top of that you've saved enough to entertain the possibility that you either 1) have enough capital to live off of forever, or more amazingly 2) you have enough capital to live off of forever WITHOUT EVER DRAWING DOWN ON THAT CAPITAL. Your known knowns are totally accounted for, your known unknowns are statistically accounted for. Saving more capital will marginally statistically reduce your exposure to known unknowns. I'm suggesting there is a whole host of unknown unknowns waiting in the wings.

The two ways in which I see this advise failing are: 1) you absolutely refuse to go back to work and thus totally burn all bridges from your current career and future careers and 2) you use none of your newfound freedom to explore the cave, the unknown unknowns and the systemic risks that exist beyond your periphery. Or some combination of the two. Even if you make both these errors, your chance for catastrophic failure is still relatively low!


Escaping the cave is scary. It requires throwing of the shackles you were raised to worship and stretching your newfound but long forgotten muscles. I have also found it exciting. It is not something you have to master tomorrow (you have literal decades) in order to quit today. How you throw off the shackles is also up to you, you do not have to do it in a manner that anyone else tells you to, it is only useful to look to others with the same goal for guidance.

Post Reply