I've been dreading a conference call that was supposed to happen in an hour, but it just got canceled.
My motivation cycles on and off depending on the day. Last week was great. I had a lot of momentum (or so I thought) but fast forward to today and I can hardly remember how to do this job. Days like this remind me to get out of sales.
I should be busting my ass to find new deals because my boss warned me that people are starting to ask questions about my performance again. But for some reason, all I can do is think about how to reduce my spending to soften the blow. This makes me envy the "make a ton spend a ton" types that frequent the sales role. They like the stress that consumerism brings because bigger bills motivate them to work harder. Stress makes them find deals, stress makes me find ways to live in my car
ERE Book
I'm starting to see why the book takes a more philosophical approach instead of a how-to. Now that I'm interacting with you all, I've been monitoring my behavior and looking a little closer at how my choices impact my entire lifestyle, not just my finances. This has lead me to a more disciplined approach. In the past (prior to joining here), I was satisfied to know that I saved some money each month. That was it. No strategy, no goal, just save.
I've been digging into the numbers a bit more and it's lead me down some strange rabbit holes beyond just the financial.
Numbers don't lie
I was bullshitting myself in my earlier posts. Turns out I was overlooking some expenses that bumped my burn rate beyond my initial estimate. Shocking, I know.
My goal is to reduce my spending to $20k annually. I'm hoping it's not too late to hit that number this year. I haven't crunched the numbers yet but I'm already doubtful. I've already spent over half that on rent (which I cancelled). If there's hope, it would make for a fun challenge.
$20-25k would allow a savings rate of ~50% at a salary of $55k. (I know those numbers aren't exact, but I left some wiggle room for variance. I'm too lazy to account for every variable like state income taxes if I move, overtime, time without income, etc).
At that rate, I could FIRE when I'm close to 45, assuming average inflation and two years off to learn a new skill.
Why $55k?
I'm trying to really sit down and figure out the type of job that I would enjoy rather than prioritizing high earnings. If I had the stomach for it, I could reach my goal a lot faster if I just stayed in my current career. I'm worried that my health will plummet if I try to do that, though. Plus, age discrimination is absolutely a real thing in my field/industry. If you're a decent performer you can make it through, but I'm not one of them.
This makes the semi-ere approach attractive. I think I'm okay with extending my time-to-ERE goal if it means doing a job that I don't hate.
To do: Figure out if I can realistically hit ~20k spend this year.
More movement, more problems
This idea is more in line with what I said earlier about the philosophical/behavioral vs financial dynamic. I've made a lot of lifestyle changes since starting this journal. I cancelled the lease on my apartment. I sold my motorcycle. I started taking online classes.
While dealing with each of those, I realized what a gigantic pain in the ass change can be. Maybe it's an ENTP thing, because I reeeeeally suck at working out details, but problem solving seems to create more micro problems like some kind of hydra.
Here's an example of how each change mentioned above splintered into several other micro pains in the asses (?)
Sold motorcycle --> left license plate on it --> dude has been riding around town racking up tolls on the plate --> I get billed for it --> I now have to spend several hours on the phone with the DMV trying to figure out how to fix this. I don't even know if I can. Maybe I have to pay this dude's bill forever now. I dunno.
Taking online classes --> tuition cost (duh) --> missed first class due to bad internet connection --> upgraded internet (+$20/mo) --> family bs pops up and have to manage that on top of internet going out and studying plus working full time
Cancelled lease on apartment --> packed all my stuff --> went to rent a trailer, found out my brake light wiring is bad, no lights = no trailer, threw away a ton of stuff and kept what I could fit in the cab of my truck (in hindsight that was a bonus).
Side tangent:
Looking at the above list makes me feel like a weak bitch. They don't seem like big problems when typed out, but holy fuck they set me off when it was happening. Especially when I tried to rent the trailer. Those guys were pricks. They openly mocked most of their customers, including me and a family of 5. The family reserved a particular trailer online but the guys at the store rented it to someone else earlier that that. So the family was stuck with what I assume to be a packed house and a deadline they could no longer meet. I thought about this for a while. It just motivates me to downsize even further and reduce my dependence on others.
Anyway.
I think this is one big reason why I procrastinate. I think I have some underlying fear that I'm going to miss a detail and fuck something up if I make a change.
I need to get better about letting go of that fear. As far as I can tell, all of the above choices were good moves and therefor worth the pain in the ass.
Guess that's all I have for now. Hope yall are staying safe during the second coming.