7Wannabe5- Take 6

[Mister Imperceptible]

XNTP or XNFP

[7Wannabe5]

@MI:

Gotcha. I did live with a male ENTP who used to date my sister so like brother for a couple years and we got along pretty good. Main problem was neither of us was strong boundary enough to keep the real boyfriends of the strippers he let use the laundry room out of the house. Also there is a downside to strong mutual inclination towards parallel play.

ENFP almost works but borderline too warm smushy. INFP doesn’t like to debate and sometimes thinks I don’t have real feelings. Maybe INTP? Upside would be that I would likely quickly concede he was smarter. Downside would be I hear tell they tend towards asexual.

Maybe an XNFX?

[Mister Imperceptible]

The black swan is you meet someone who politely dominates you and you go back to being monogamous. Maybe over fitting the model here with Myers Briggs.

[7Wannabe5]

The problem with human mating is that identical twins separated at birth studies indicate that it is almost totally random except will probably add/subtract up to being equally attractive/dysfunctional as you.

But maybe it’s still best to pretend like you have choices?

[Mister Imperceptible]

Maybe! But perhaps a scrape with death means it is time to write the Essays.

[7Wannabe5]

Bucket list condensation effort will likely follow hard on so sorry for myself desperately seeking distraction mode.

[7Wannabe5]

If you want to know the reason why The Cowboy and I don’t have a sex life, it is because Gretchen Whitmer’s sign language interpreter is his type.

I will probably erase this post if I don’t die.

[Alphaville]

If you want to know the reason why The Cowboy and I don’t have a sex life, it is because Gretchen Whitmer’s sign language interpreter is his type.

I will probably erase this post if I don’t die.

noooooooooooooo

(here, preserved for posterity)

listen, your journal is highly amusing. don’t chicken out, and try your hand at standup or soemthing,

as for “relationships” i have no idea wtf you’re attempting to define

but i think you’re overthinking it? it’s like going to eat dim sum and trying to analyze each bun or dumpling by macronutrients or something. just eat whatcha wanna!

XXXX = “tastes like burnt tires” “sweet but boring” “funky! but just once” “too salty” “oh yummmm! get me 4 more.”

[7Wannabe5]

Yummy, yummy, yummy dim sum...but,

A female friend once suggested to me that maybe other people were not put on earth to be my smorgasbord.

Also, I at least have to wait until I finish my steroids and the monkey dress, corset, box of Majorca blonde and curling iron are delivered.

[Alphaville]

A female friend once suggested to me that maybe other people were not put on earth to be my smorgasbord.

on the one hand i see her point: people aren’t playthings. of course. humanity 101. (and so: does it even need to be said?)

but also, it’s too generalized and out of context to make any sense, because — what if people want to play together? it’s not like you’re hoodwinking the unwary, are you?

personally the part i find questionable is that you’re looking for someone to buy you stuff

[eta: but without being a biological determinist, i do understand you just might be wired that way, as they say]

[7Wannabe5]

Oh, I’m not really looking for someone to buy me stuff. It’s just the unexpected benefit of trying to stick to the rule of “Don’t date men who don’t date me.” combined with the reality that most of the men I meet in midlife are much more affluent than me, and it amuses me to enter “doggy bag of Thai food” into the inflow column of my spreadsheet.

My original style was more like develop mad crush on sexy hoodlum, talk mother into hiring him to mow our lawn, and then when he comes to the door to collect his pay be dressed in my new bikini. So, you can see that holding my horses long enough to get at least some offer of minor contract might be an improvement!

I’m actually much more likely to be pleased and impressed by creative effort than an expensive outing, but I try to cut the old dogs some slack, especially if they’re still going through the post divorce wringer. A kiss on the cheek and a thank you tends to perk them up a bit, and leaves opening for more interesting encounters on turf where they’re more comfortable. Of course, the men my age who have never married already have their whole dating schtick more professionally designed and budgeted in alignment with their preferences.

I might even enjoy asking men out on dates creatively designed on my budget, but that just never works.

[enigmaT120]

I hope you get better and out of there soon.

[Alphaville]

Oh, I’m not really looking for someone to buy me stuff.

i guess so, but this has been a point of confusion for me since my teenage years, when expressing puzzlement that some girl i liked would prefer some wimpy rich kid, this girl i knew told me “you don’t know anything about women.” and she was right— my theory of mind at the time assumed girls operated like boys only they were more “delicate” and way prettier. (i didn’t have any sisters, and my catholic school wasn’t coed: huge blind spot).

only later (thanks, science! thanks, schopenhauer! thanks old gilrfriends!) i understood the female biological imperative of finding a good provider for potential progeny. even if there is no progeny—biological urges get sublimated as “romantic attraction”

biology is also the reason for my lifetime infatuation with monica bellucci, even if that magnificent goddess will never carry or feed my descendants at this point

but anyway, it’s not all biology, and that’s the really interesting part i think.

[7Wannabe5]

There is some reality to the females-wired-for-sexual-security meme, but it’s often a bit overblown. When I was considering adopting the practice of polyamory, I thought about under what circumstances I had previously been best able to enjoy casual or less-than-committed sexual encounters. What I realized was that for the most part pure textbook classic economic utility was more relevant than my gender linked tendency towards mild post-coital tristesse. For instance, I very much enjoyed a few casual relationships the summer before I planned on transferring to a distant university. And it wasn’t just the fact that I was leaving the area; it was more the fact that I was pretty thoroughly engaged in my own plans. I can’t speak for all females, but it seems like when I am open to falling in love with a man, I am also open to falling into his plans. However, experience informs me that in the long run I am better off with a man who leaves me a very long fractal dimension of free rein within relationship. And, at my age and/or nearing grandma status phase of life, there’s not much remaining plan any man could offer me. The picture of my life is too complete.

[7Wannabe5]

Aaaaargh...I now find myself in the thoroughly awkward situation of being stuck convalescing in the home of a man I was already prepping to be happy to be rid of me. I know this is a dysfunctional practice but it beats the alternative which is fretting about whether a man might end up stalking me because I didn’t render him thoroughly sick of me and my shit before leaving. So, I’m actually more glad that it worked than I am unhappy with having to maybe figure out alternate likely to be expensive convalescence plans. It was pretty easy in this case due to our conflict in political views.

[Alphaville]

oh no lololol

[7Wannabe5]

Yeah, he actually said “Getting rid of you is all I think about lately.”, but he also made me breakfast, so keeping it civilized. Knowing most men and him in particular, likely he’s already got something new on his string. So, easy-least-lemon-breezy.

[Alphaville]

so i guess no sublet in sight huh?

[7Wannabe5]

I think I am going to throw down and rent an Air BNB for myself in Ann Arbor until I can get vaccinated. I just need to hang out here (northern affluent Detroit suburb)until I am sure I don’t need to check myself right back into the same hospital. Also, I have some packages coming.

[7Wannabe5]

My favorite old Gen-X ENTP female anthem:

https://youtu.be/yKLNyZjIQyY

@Alphaville:

Re: Monica Belluci

I have a theory that you can figure out a man’s female ideal by combining whatever poster he had on his wall at age 13 with his favorite aunt. Like if you met somebody who looked/vibed like Monica Belluci, except for the fact that she had the same unfortunate nose as your favorite aunt, you wouldn’t even notice the nose.