Early Retirement Extreme Forums

There is a guy who used to like me 4 years ago and i wasn’t ready to get into a relationship so i refused him and we stopped talking and now we gathered again in a group of friends in college and we all go on trips and outing together , during the outing he flirts with me and maintains that he sits next to me and walks beside me but when we are apart he talks with my friends in the group on whatsapp daily and never texts me and now i am intrested in him and i started liking him as we got into trips and outings together and i don’t understands why he keeps giving me attention during the outings but never texts me meanwhile he chats with my friends (girls) on daily bases
What should i do ?? And is he interested in me or not ?? And plz tell me how to make him like me back ??

How does he flirt with you? Has he gone out of his way to sit/walk next to you? Give specific examples.

My initial assessment is that he is interested in you but is afraid to take the next step. It is possible he is just being nice, but if that was the case then he would likely include you in that same chat group. If you are interested, then you need to let him know by giving him hints. They do not need to be direct. He will probably pull the trigger once he gains enough confidence.

Yess he gets out of the way to walk next to me and once he changed his place in the restaurant to sit next to me and he plans to sit next to me at any place
He flirts my outfit , my body , and he says he likes my smile
I started a chat with him twice before but he never begins until i behin one day he send the days after and that’s it , meanwhile he is the one who starts the chat with the other girl in the group and they chat daily

He probably doesn't know what to talk about. That is okay. It may take a bit for him to warm up. Meanwhile, reciprocate compliments and try to find conversation starters. Let him know what you like so that he can be confident that you will accept a date proposal. Use the context to be subtle.

For instance, if someone else orders a coffee with sugar, then say something like "I love black coffee in the mornings" (just an example). This gives him something to go on.

Should i start a conversation with him ?? And if yes then how frequent ?? Or should i wait for him to start cause he chats with other girls who are my friends daily

I would say focus on starting conversations in person for now. Text can be a bit impersonal and may backfire. For frequency, just try to gauge the situation. Focus on body positioning cues to see if he is over or under stimulated. If he turns away from you slightly (with legs perhaps), then that may indicate he just wants to chill and not talk. If he keeps on glancing over towards you, then that may indicate he wants to talk more.

You rejected him before. As far as he knows, that's how you still feel.

Make it clear that you're open to something now. Flirt with him. Touch him. Specifically tell him so.

I wouldn’t be seeing him until 17/october cause we both are in different cities now , can u plz explain me more what do u mean by body clues

Hard to explain. Reading body language is a highly contextual skill. Depends on personality, place, other people, alertness, mood, and so forth.

It may be best just to be direct with him in your case if you are willing to take the risk. Keep in mind that long distance relationships are often tricky.

Then i wont text him until we meet and i see his body language right ??

If you text him now and are direct about liking him, then the initial excitement could wear off by the time you meet in person. People are not really the same in text, so either him or you could be disappointed upon figuring out that there is not as much chemistry in person after a month of hitting it off in text.

On the other hand, not texting could end with one of you moving on before the month is up. This may be the last time to strike.

Up to you.

You confused me more now and i was already lost and confused

That is what I do best.

Come on , plz tell me what to do and what signs tell if he likes me back or not
I think not texting me is a sign that he has no interest in me

Wait for someone else to come along and help. I am just an armchair theorist with limited experience.

I understand why, this is an outlet where she feels comfortable. Maybe she's shy to tell her friends too much or there's another reason she's not comfortable there.

There's no way to force someone to like you. If it happened to me, I'd have moved on but he has to know you're open to it now. I don't think you have to explicitly tell him as it may kill the extra thrill created by the ambiguity.

You could ask him to just go for a walk to talk after the group dinner and when alone, reach over to his hand and hold his hand while walking, or lay your head on his shoulder while sitting over the sunset. Or just privately message him to talk and eventually make plans for just the 2 of you.

Agree with @slow, if you don’t have the courage to text him to say “hey, want to get dinner next time you’re in town?”, then you gotta have the courage to play the slow game (don’t rush, just make small moves in response to how he interacts with you). Touching a man (on his arm, for example) and laughing when he makes a joke is a sign that no man can miss.

And if he’s not texting you back, don’t chase him on text. Flirt with him in person.

bigato wrote: ↑

Wed Sep 04, 2019 8:14 pm

how did you conclude that ere forumites would be able to give you advice on this?

Well one of us did bring up the phenomenon of back-burnering.

@slowtraveler okay i will do it

@slowtraveler yess i agree with what u have said so mich talking to people here is much more comfortable than telling a friend