Zankas poker-journal

Where are you and where are you going?
Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

Started working with the above mentioned guy and it has been great so far. It is a little more hands-on approach where I look at all aspects of my life rather than just sitting and talking about the past. I wont go into it too much detail at this moment tho.

Other than that I am still working hard to be prepared when I quit, but honestly I am struggling a bit with my energy and focus. I am so glad that I have been a fulltime pokerplayer before bc I know how much easier it is to play fulltime rather than going back and forth between jobs. Focusing on one thing at the time is so much more efficent, at least for me.

Another thing that I just did was to get a credit card. I have never owned one before but I believe it is a good move.

1. I found a card with ok benefits.
2. With poker being my only job, income will differ from month to month quite a bit, and knowing my spending a month in advance will be very good.
3. I wont need as big of a buffert. (I still will have more than most of you bc of poker).

I dont know how much I am up from poker right now, but somewhere between 500-1k.

/ z

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

March recap: Poker 1.3k. Def happy with this and Im confident going into fulltime grind soon.
Even tho I only have one month left at work I am having a hard time motivating myself to go there, I am bored, it sucks all my energy out and my boss keeps behaving very strange at times.

I have 7 shifts a 24h left so its all good. And 3 of them are on easter+ another day that pays a lot extra which Im happy about. So 1st may I am a free man again and as I am getting my overtime $ paid out the month after I do the work I will get a decent paycheck at the end of May (also get my saved vacation day paid out then). This means that I will have both May and June to really get settled into playing without much monetary pressure and if all goes to plan Ill be able to save a decent amount right from the get go.

With regards of therapy I have been working with this guy Andrew now for a couple of weeks and so far it is a slam dunk. It would prob be concidered weird by most of you but working with someone that is spiritual, has done his own work with himself, and sort of does a kind of cbt in a way that gives me a ton of tools to handle things on my own is great. This is the way I function best.

Dating has been a bit meh lately unfortunately tho. She has a ton on her plate and are exhausted + are extremely stubborn to handle everything by herself so I have resorted to just take a step or two back and let her do her thing and we will see how things play out. I guess it is after a couple of months of dating you start to see if you are really compatible...

Also I got vaccinated (only first shot) and I am hoping Ill be able to enjoy the perks of being a pokerplayer by going on trips pretty frequently in the future. At least I have the beautiful Swedish summer to look forward to, playing poker on the top of a mountain can work allright also i guess :)

I hope you are all doing well.

/ Z


Oh, also I had a goal to reach 17k by end of April. I am currently at 10k and expect to have 12k at the end of the month. I splurged 4k on a car (very happy with the decision) so I am fine with not getting there. I am very proud of me getting to the point I am in now tho, and my aim will be to accelerate savings a lot more from now on. Peace

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

And i were one month wrong so I will change it to correct months.

So the plan is something like this:
- Pay of 1.56k in debt by November 31.
- Save 2.5k for EF by Feb 31 -20.
- Save 17k by May -21


Actually I had forgotten that I changed months haha. Ok so I got till end of May to get to 17k. Challenge accepted.

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

I am sliiiiipping. Let these two weeks go fast pls.

Dating is going worse by the day, I feel it is kinda doomed unfortunately. Work is draining me. I am spending too much money. Sleep is all over the place. I am fucking tired.

Still I am kinda happy anyways but I cant wait to leave work and be on my own again. Anyways, felt like I wanted to share something at least.

/ z

ertyu
Posts: 2893
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by ertyu »

strength :muscle: just a little left

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

Thanks @ertyu!

OK, so I ended the relationship yesterday. It sucks but was inevitable. Moving on. A very nice thing is that a few (newish)friends are stepping up and being very supportive and are making sure Im doing ok. For a long time I havent had these kinds friendships and it was something I did not expect. So, moving on.

First month I will show a negative result (~500) in a long while. Kinda scary that the month before going fulltime Im losing but with all the drama and emotional rollercoaster of everything going on Im not suprised. Im taking the rest of the month off from playing just to try and find some balance and recovering.

I dont know if I have been writing it here or not but my 1st goal is to get to a 50% savings rate, this will be my minimum requirement for pursuing poker over time.
Lately I have been reading up on SWR and doing a lot of thinking. Poker could be one of the greatest jobs in a lot of ways;
- Easy scalable. I can play however many (resonable) hours I want to from month to month.
- I can be easily transition to playing Live poker and travel the world.
- It is very very easy to be at a level where I can earn 500-1k/month if I retire and suddenly need some supplemental income during a recession.

Learning more about the 4% rule and that it is a worst case scenario calculation makes me think about playing online for as long as it is possible/I have a resonable hourly and then learn how to play Live at a decent level. That way I could probably Fire kinda early and just use poker as a "throddle" for if/when extra income is needed during bad times. Poker is first and foremost my hobby so I def would not mind traveling the world (when kids are older obv) and play some poker along the way.
This have made me feel much more optimistic about pursuing this path. And just getting to a reasonable $ amount like 150-200k at the time when kids are on their own would probably be enough to just make me feel safe enough.

(To claify, 150-200k is sort of a worst case scenario, or maybe more of a minimum target for me.)

Another thing I havent talked much about is my appartment. If I were to sell it today Id prob take home 40k or so after taxes and mortgage. Hopefully it keeps going up in value (it is worth like 75k today). If I am counting that + my 10k already invested I am already 33% on my way to my (absolute minimum) goal. That feels really great tbh.

I hope you are doing well.

/ z

2Birds1Stone
Posts: 1596
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 11:20 am
Location: Earth

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by 2Birds1Stone »

Hi Zanka! Glad you're dealing with the bumps on life journey relatively well.

As far as the SWR, the 4% rule is not worse case by any means. Not sure if you've included this excellent series on the topic in your research https://earlyretirementnow.com/safe-wit ... te-series/ but I've found it's the most comprehensive resource for USA based investors. Currently for a 50/50 or 60/40 portfolio the failsafe withdrawal rate sits somewhere around 3.25-3.5% depending on your faith in our social security system.

There have been studies conducted on the effectiveness of various SWR's in countries outside of the USA, and in many areas there is a 1-1.5% reduction for similar results. Your own unique circumstances with poker and possibly your countries safety nets obviously change the calculations quite a bit, but I would definitely look into the information a bit further.

Here is a post on PortfolioCharts.com covering the topic https://portfoliocharts.com/2017/06/09/ ... awal-rate/

And here is another decent read, https://retirementresearcher.com/4-rule ... und-world/

If your expenses are low enough, being able to augment $6-10k a year of spending with poker is a great safety net!

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

@2b1s Thanks so much for that post! Tons to read trough, perfect for keeping me occupied these days.. There seems to be different views on the 4% rule for sure, and maybe it is not a worst case scenario in a "normal" sense hehe. Seems like a lot depends on what happens during the first 10y of retirement tho, and if you can make sure to have backup plans all the way it seems very safe anyways.
Having the fortune of working at something I find super interesting and that I potentialy will be able to go back and forth into, like a very fun videogame or playing bridge or something like that, is just great.

Also a lot of things I want to do when I retire is super cheap, like;
- Spending a ton of time meditating (pref with buddhist monks)
- Walk the european trails that goes from northern Sweden to the tip of Portugal
- Bikepacking and live in a tent
- Etc

So dont be worried if I go radio silent after a market crash when I have retired. I probably am singing "ram ram ram" for a couple of months/years until everything goes back to normal :D

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

My 5yo had the great timing of catching a cough this friday so we have spent the whole week at home. This have given me a looot of time to think and process the big changes that are happening.

One thing that is very clear to me is that while you are in a situation that is very bad it is hard to see how bad it is and how taxing it is for you. I belive the reason for that is that if life is to tough, we cant afford to feel exactly how tough it is. If we would allow ourelves to feel it we would just collapse. So we have these defence mechanisms that lets us shut of parts of our feelings. This usually is done by keeping us in constant stress (fear)-mode. When in stress-mode we are focusing on fixing the problem (whatever we currently imagine that to be) rather than prioritizing relaxation and happiness.
The (not so) funny thing is that most of our problems today is solved just by relaxing. When we are stressed we cant think of new solutions to our situation and thus we are very likely to repeat the same behaviour over and over until we hit a brick wall. This is very natural since when hunted by a lion you should not exactly sit down and relax to think of a solution but rather get the fuck our of there before you are eaten.
And getting the fuck out of there is done with instinct, not by creativity and free thinking.

If you are lucky to have been trained in fighting lions, well, you can try that solution of course. Unfortunately for most people nowadays is that fighting the lion means that we will engage in an endless fight with deadlines and expectations. Running on the other hand.. well.. running will most likely have you end up sleeping under a bridge since if you dont do the deadlines you are screwed.

I feel very lucky to have the opportunity to pursue poker again. Poker is very taxing, and potentialy one of the most stressfull things (discount saving lives etc) one can do for a living but it Can also be one of the most relaxing, if done right. I feel so lucky to already have been a professional pokerplayer for years since I have at least a grasp of what freedom really means, but it is also one of the big reasons behind me being unable to hold down a normal job.
At least for me, and I think many of you here can relate, a normal job is taking so much. I seriously think it is very harmfull for any person to not have at least some control over ones time. And I believe that very few benefits from following the 9 to 5 rythm and ignoring our internal ups and downs.
I definately works better if I can structure my life after how inspired and how much energy I have, and that usualy follows bigger cykels than the modern 7 day we have now. Some tell me I might be bipolar or mano-something but I call bullshit on that. Most people nowadays believe in evolution but somehow we make these weird exceptions to this, I mean can someone please tell me when our bodies should have developed a 9 to 5, mon-fri rythm?
As far as I understand it humans have for at least 99% of the time either been hunter-gatherers or farmers and following nature rather than the weekly schedule of meeting. Anyhow :)

Another very interesting thing that is related somewhat is that I read about a study where people had been given different problems to solve (like turning a non symetric figure into a symetric figure etc) and they could see that people are way more likely to add than to subtract when trying to solve problems and I found that very interesting. I think it is worth thinking about and I think it fits the ERE mindset very well.

End rant.

/ Z

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

And as of 9am this morning: I am free :) Incredible feeling.

Jiimmy
Posts: 137
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2021 12:28 pm
Location: Nevada

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Jiimmy »

Yay!! Congrats, and best wishes to you Zanka

ertyu
Posts: 2893
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2016 2:31 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by ertyu »

Congratulations on embarking on this new stage!

fingeek
Posts: 249
Joined: Wed May 24, 2017 8:16 am
Location: Wales

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by fingeek »

Very cool, congrats!

disk_poet
Posts: 125
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2020 3:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by disk_poet »

Awesome. Congrats Zanka!!!

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

Thank you so much everyone:)

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

A couple of days since I left work. Have been playing a decent amount of poker and it feels very good. Have been focused, relaxed and have executed very well. I also have been taking regular naps during the day, long walks with the dog, and hung out with the kids a fair bit. Overall it feels amazing. Still very strange tho haha :)

Results have been over expectations so far, very happy with that. I aim to play 60k hands this month, will def be a challenge but I believe I can do it (at 10k now). As for income I hope to be able to average 4k/m at least, but we will see how things develop over time. Next week finaly will bring some warmer weather so I´ll get out into the woods with some friends hopefully.

/ z

ajcoleman22
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2018 8:45 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by ajcoleman22 »

Congrats! Have you thought about starting a youtube channel and talking about hand histories? That seems like the cool thing to do these days.

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

ajcoleman22 wrote:
Fri May 07, 2021 12:04 pm
Congrats! Have you thought about starting a youtube channel and talking about hand histories? That seems like the cool thing to do these days.
Thanks! Yeah I have thought about it but I just want to focus on one thing atm. But I have some ideas about creating yt videos, but not about poker. I am out in nature often and it would be cool to be able to share something in regards to that. :)

User avatar
Bankai
Posts: 986
Joined: Fri Jul 25, 2014 5:28 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Bankai »

Two risk management techniques you can incorporate into your plan (both come from trading but are relevant to poker as well):
- Checklist to go through each morning to assess your ability to play on that day, questions like: how am I feeling physically, mentally, am I in the middle of large life event which makes me not able to play for money to my full ability etc.
- Predetermine maximum loss for the month; once hit, stop playing for the remainder of the month to cool off and avoid revenge playing

You probably already do this but it's worth tracking all sorts of stats, i.e. win rate by hour of the day might tell you that you do much better early in the day and worse towards the evening when tired etc.

Zanka
Posts: 165
Joined: Tue Aug 01, 2017 2:33 am

Re: Zankas poker-journal

Post by Zanka »

@Bankai Thanks! Yeah I do a lot of this, meditation in the mornings checking in with my body how I am feeling. Also I have a pretty advanced tracking program where I can do all sorts of analysis of my play. The thing with tracking results in relation to time of day is that it takes a ton of data to see something that is reliable. I might be able to see indications on me being more tired/playing bad in statistics but there are so many factors in play that the risk of adjusting in situations where it is just variance is pretty big.

What I try to do is to be brutaly honest with myself while playing and removing myself from the computer as soon as I take bad decisions or if I miss something obvious. Playing poker requires being totaly present and focused so that is what I am working most on maintaining right now. This is also my biggest strength compared to my opponents.

The same goes for having a stoploss, it is good to have some sort of stoploss but for example the other day I played and lost about 8 buyins (around 350$) very quickly and without playing bad. So I took a few hours to think about something else, came back and reviewed the hands to make sure my play was correct, checked in with my mental state and decided that I was good to go. It is in theese situations I might have a stoploss, if I had lost 2-3 buins again I would just take the rest of the day of and do something else (This particular time I ended up a winner for the day).

In the past I have sometimes removed the ability to see my results for the day, the idea is to only focus on taking good decisions and not caring about results. This works pretty well actually, and I have been thinking about doing this again now that I play a lot.

Thanks for the reply! :)

Results so far is 1.8k :)

Post Reply