Early Retirement Extreme Forums

School technically isn’t out for another week and a half, but our teen finished everything last week. He sorted through items to get rid of (sell, give away, trash). We listed and sold one of his bikes and a scooter. What good experiences in no shows, people who weren’t on time, haggling, and people trying to pay later but take the item. I think he’s gained some confidence, enough to apply for a dishwasher job. It is rather satisfying to have these experiences together.

Canceling our European trip has sure been a process. We should see refunds on airlines this summer. The cruise won’t be refunded for another year; however, it’s too soon to be confident enough to rebook. We have a boatload of AirBnB refund credit to spend. Right now we’re hoping to be able to do some boondocking with the van.

I like nerding out on meditation and Buddhist concepts

Shinzen Young, a teacher I respect, distinguishes between pain and suffering, where pain is the inevitable bullshit that everyone puts up with at some point, and suffering is the psychological reaction to the bullshit. So you could describe suffering mathematically as:

Suffering = Pain * Resistance

Then the development of an equanimous mind through meditation allows you to eventually experience the same pain, but with less suffering, because you are reducing the psychological component.

@RoamingFrancis
Equanimity can feel like dancing on a pinhead.

These days I sense that I am moving on in place. There’s no where to be but here. When I ask who I am, the answer is just “me” without any attached roles. Unlike existential angst, it feels more peaceful and detached. My journal title does seem to not work. Wherever I thought I was headed is no longer the destination because I am always here. Or maybe it just took five stints of not working to figure this out? I am unsure of journal etiquette: continue on, abandon and restart, rename?

I like when folks continue, then it's easier to follow if I get the urge to reread their journal. My vote is to rename and continue.

mooretrees wrote: ↑

Wed Jun 03, 2020 5:55 pm

I like when folks continue, then it's easier to follow if I get the urge to reread their journal. My vote is to rename and continue.

Thanks, that makes sense. Who knows I might reread it too. Can I change the entire name (If so, how?) or do I need to put “Frita’s journal” in the subject line each time?

I don't know, but @2birds1stone must, he's changed his journal title a lot.

Okay, I am safe to say that I am finally decompressed from my BS job. It only took a year and a few day, which tells me that I worked there too darn long.

Since my former boss was finally fired for his ongoing bad behavior, I am applying in the district to see if his blacklisting ways are now disregarded. Either way is fine. I am branching out to applying for a non-profit director position and will look for other things of interest.

Good luck with your job applications! It’s interesting to know full decompression takes about a year. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that your next position is something where you can have more of what you like about working and less of what you don’t.

Thanks, ertyu. I have quit and unsuccessfully tried to decompress five times now. (The longest was a year and a half while working In a different capacity!) For me, I think it’s been more psychological. Once I detached from teaching as a meaning-making role, I felt better. I have to admit that, as painful as it’s been at times, being holed up for Corona virus helped with that process.

My education work had an obsessive quality to it. Finally decompressing and separating from that, I feel more aware that just any job in education isn’t for me. I also realized in a profound way that if I felt as passionate as I did about education, perhaps there are other work that would interest me. And that has opened up the possibility of other things not related to employment or at least not feeling desperate.

Side note: Volunteering as a substitute for work is quite tricky. There just isn’t one-to-one correspondence with paid work.

P.S. Looking back we hit our number around 30. (There definitely was a benefit to being in the US!) Finally, internalizing this is huge!

Your perspective is interesting to me because conversely, I haven’t quite been able to make “education” as meaning-making for me as other pursuits. And it’s been kind of like “close, but no cigar.” I think this is because I would be in favor of extremely alternative idealized educational environment. Something like the Drop In Adventure Library Garden Multi-Age Learning Lab. So, participating in conventional educational setting/practice seems too much like working at cross-purposes to me.

You would probably find running a small themed camp meaningful, 7w5. Maybe with older-ish kids who are already invested in some part of the ideas behind it rather than snotty glemlins whose parents just want to offload them somewhere

7Wannabe5 wrote: ↑

Thu Jun 11, 2020 11:26 am

And it’s been kind of like “close, but no cigar.” I think this is because I would be in favor of extremely alternative idealized educational environment.

I feel the same way about healthcare. In an idealized world I'd really like it. But working daily in the harsh reality of a f**ked up system takes the wind out of my sails pretty quickly. I can enjoy it after some time off, but then something/incident really brings home how I'm contributing to the problem just as much as the solution. From there it's downhill until I can separate myself for awhile again.

@Frita
Congrats on getting over the burnout, it's no easy thing. Don't be afraid to take future breaks if/when you feel yourself slipping back down the hole of negativity again. Remember, teaching is just a hobby for you now. When it's no longer enjoyable or when you're no longer able to pursue it with vigor because the system has you down, it's time to work on a different hobby for awhile.

@7W5
Education has changed since the late 80s. Had I started when you did, I’d feel the same way. Actually, I feel relieved that you didn’t get sucked into the vortex. It’s not a job I would recommend to anyone these days.

@c_L
In the US our systems are imploding. With education it started to get bad around 2000. I initially thought things would improve, but they’ve worsened. Thanks for the advice of looking it as a hobby!

@Frita:

Yeah, I grok that. Other problem for me is that I like 6 and under and over 16, but none of the grades in between.

@7W5
Under 6 and over 16, yep, kindergarten and advanced level HS classes are coveted K-12 assignments. You are unusual in that you like both.

Frita wrote: ↑

Wed Jun 10, 2020 5:29 pm

Since my former boss was finally fired for his ongoing bad behavior

This makes me happy. Screw that guy.

Scott 2 wrote: ↑

Fri Jun 12, 2020 6:10 pm

This makes me happy. Screw that guy.

Thanks for commenting, Scott 2. I am glad that he won’t be hurting kids anymore too. It is sad that it took so long to cut him loose. The charter board didn’t go to the next step of having his license pulled and is letting him slink out with some dignity. Grrr...

Until just recently I irrationally felt guilty, like I did something wrong or deserved to be treated so poorly. I see kids and parents around, who say they miss me and ask why I left. It’s heartbreaking to say that it just wasn’t the right fit for me. Staff who stayed (and pretended like all was well) and board members (who knew what was going on and refused to investigate in a timely fashion) flat out ignore me like the unpopular girl in junior high. I realize that I was taking on the feelings of these folks. So bizarre...

While exploring some job openings, I have been thinking about c_L’s reframe of teaching as a hobby. My first impression is that would be impossible to very difficult.

Notes on latest interview:
1. Something has shifted in that I am unwilling to be treated poorly. If I am teaching for enjoyment, how we’re treating each other is paramount. (Typically, one is never treated as well once hired.) No social pleasantries, gruff, off-putting. How does this seem like an enjoyable hobby?
2. When I asked the six-member panel about the building/team culture at the end of the interview, no one said a thing. So I waited. And waited. Finally one of the principal’s asked, “Is anyone going to answer that, or do I have to assign someone?” The oldest teacher said, “Okay, I guess I will answer. This school is healthier than it’s ever been. It’s the healthiest workplace I have ever worked in.” No elaboration from anyone. I could not finesse any more details. Neither of the two principals had a thing to say. It felt fearful, oppressive, miserable. If I don’t need the money, why would I care to work in such an environment?
3. Questions included handling stress and not getting along with colleagues. There was quite a bit of focus on this with no clarification of the environment. Another red flag?
4. This is not isolated but a pattern of what I have encountered with the school district here. Do I finally have enough data points to confirm it’s a bad fit?

Next week I have an interview for the non-profit director position. The vibe is totally different. Friendly, polite. Last week I met another person who works there who was enthusiastic about working there and enjoyed the people. Perhaps this could be a better fit for me?

Some of the life's most important decisions -

Finding the right spouse
Choosing a place to live
Working with people you enjoy.

Sounds like you're on the right track. Good luck!