sshawn's journal

[anomie]

You have my condolences, sshawn.

Best of luck negotiating the new down-sized containers and storage.

[My_Brain_Gets_Itchy]

@sshawn:

Sorry to hear about your family's loss. It's so nice to read how cordial and respectful you are of your in-laws.

[CS]

Sorry to hear about your loss. Your father in law was very lucky to have you guys.

Good luck with the down sizing.

I do locum tenens and love it. Working full time is the backup career I hope to never need again. Traveling is also a good way to see how little any of that physical stuff you have in storage has any impact on your happiness.

[Jen10]

Shawn,

I'm sorry to hear about you and your family's loss. I want to do as well as you did in caring for my parents and in-laws if/when the time comes. I hope things are going okay with the reorganization.

Jen

[sshawnn]

Thanks to all for the condolences. Unfortunately my FIL's brother, DW's uncle passed suddenly about 6 weeks after my FIL's passing. It sucks because DW was really tight with him and was leaning on him a bit to get her through. Everyone is doing reasonably well despite the rapid, surreal circumstances.

In brighter news, as I divulged in another thread my very part time employment begins next week. I will work 24 hours in a two week period. It is a great arrangement that retains many of the golden cuff attributes that I enjoyed with full time employment.

The downsizing of objects continue but headway has been made. One storage unit has been cancelled one remains. Much of the "stuff" there belongs to my mother in law, some to us, some to me in particular. Things I am not ready to part with are my full drum set and two kayaks that take up a lot of space.

Selling a car used to be so easy. As I have stated before, I bought and sold many autos in a more spendthrift era. Now that I have completely wrapped my head around using the family truck when I need a cage, I have been actively trying to sell my car. It is a nice little car. 2009 Mini Cooper S, literally gets 36 MPG. I advertised on ebay and craigslist with only silly offers. Yesterday I phoned a guy I know that helps run a popular car dealership and he would not even make an offer saying the last two Mini Coopers they had they lost money on. Maybe I should wait until some international upheaval pushes retail fuel to $5 per gallon

I am also selling my supermoto bike which will free up more garage/storage space.

I hope to sail more. I worked myself into full use of a 24' boat docked on the Ohio river by doing engine maintenance and some keel repairs for the owner in the spring. The owner and I have been out only 5 times. I could go whenever I like but rounding up another sailor is difficult. It will be even more difficult when I want to go sailing at 9am on Wednesday morning. I may end up doing something like this http://saillouisville.org/lsc/index.php?p=2_3_Laser. Solo sailing would be more fun to me and I think I would enjoy the stiff competition that I have heard these guys and girls dish out.

More freedom in my days will be filled with much individual activity. I made it to swim this morning and hope to get there three days a week. I also plan to use my bike(s) much more for travel and exercise. As I get myself back in shape I hope to catch DW who is up to 10 miles on her long runs. Without having to worry about when my next bathroom break will come, I can stay hydrated. As I regain my fitness, I may start my own pull up challenge. I have volunteered to be in charge of all food for the family. No more school lunches. I will likely do a lot of batch cooking and make plenty of things that can be taken away from home. I planted some fall kale and spinach in containers. I hope to have a decent yield through the fall. I have a really long reading list. I have accumulated some books at home that were not available or on a really long list at the library. I am also going to try and privately journal daily to make sure I stay on track with my goals. The effect from the thinning of objects is a very pleasing one and I plan to continue to make objects in my life more minimal.


Starting in my teenage years, I have always had a guitar around and in the last few years I have played the drums. I have turned down two public drumming gigs with two makeshift bands in the last couple of years. Both times I regretted not making time for making the performance to happen. I hope to do more drumming and maybe teach myself to properly read music through playing the piano. One of our boat anchor family heirloom gifts is a baby grand piano that only the kids can play. Who knows, I may even try to sing background vocals.


About six months ago our microwave died. I snickered to myself a bit and DW and I decided that it would not be replaced. So far, so good. The only time I have really missed it was heating oatmeal. The family has two printers. The one I have downstairs is starting to fail and I am not going to buy ink for it again, nor replace it. DW normally does the laundry but I intend to start helping out, at least washing my own clothes. I also hope to start line drying at least my own as we try to cut down on the energy bill. The little things keep adding up and making life better.

Friends here on the forum have said they are busier in different levels of retirement than they have ever been. People who think they know will with snarkily ask what I plan to do will with all my free time. Above is simply a cliff note, I can not wait to spend my days with less restriction.

To you reader, my brain may seem a bit itchy today, maybe even manic. It’s founded, I just worked my last day as a full time employee for the foreseeable future!

[jennypenny]

I am also selling my supermoto bike which will free up more garage/storage space.

Friends here on the forum have said they are busier in different levels of retirement than they have ever been. People who think they know will with snarkily ask what I plan to do will with all my free time. Above is simply a cliff note, I can not wait to spend my days with less restriction.

You'll have plenty to do. You might have trouble finding other people who can do things on your schedule. You will, but it takes time.


If you're planning on preparing meals that you can take with you (school lunches, snacks for activities, your lunches now that you'll be out enjoying your freedom), I like the bento box concept. There are a lot of sites with ideas like this one http://lunchinabox.net/ . I think it's a good way to use up bits of leftovers. I didn't purchase special boxes. I use tupperware-type stuff with paper baking cups for inserts when needed ($4/1000 at a restaurant supply store). Some of the sites are geared toward little kids, but you can still use the recipes and just skip the googly eyes

Congrats!!

[sshawnn]

So far so good with PT employment. The benefits are numerous and I wish I had done it sooner.(I am not bitching!) It has started out somewhat scattered as I rushed to do things I had thought of for years. Kayak trips up and down the Ohio exploring islands along the way, numerous trips to semi local parks are rec areas, and caring for and hanging out with the kids before school when they are bright and cheery. The reality of the situation is finally starting to sink in and it will start to seem less like vacation and more like "life" soon.

We have reduced our plunder to a level where I am pleased. My strengths currently do not rest in minimalism (maybe never.) There are 5 of us in the household and I dont think we can get to 100 objects.

I did sell the Mini Cooper. I sure didnt get as much as I wanted for it but it is gone.

When you are not in a hurry to sell things, good things happen. I was wishy washy about selling my supermoto bike so I priced it on CL really high. I got very little interest in it. Eventually a fellow contacted me offering a trade. In my experience, the person initiating such a transaction usually is willing to give more in said trade. Long story short.... I got a 1989 HD softail for my supermoto bike! The guy was trying to transform his life from bad biker-gang-guy to family-state hwy-worker guy and was really motivated to ditch his Harley. My perceived capital increase from this transaction is huge! I have not had a Harley in over 10 years but am very pleased with how much fun it is to ride.

My activity level has been very good but hiking, biking etc I have done recently showed how much I let myself get out of shape. I intend to integrate some habitual planned activities to get back to good.

I have been drumming some but just playing along with songs. I still intend to do more dedicated learning with techniques and instruction to improve my drumming. Still planning on the piano but have not dove in yet.

Things are definitely better.....

[GandK]

Woohoo! Congrats. Mornings with the kids are my favorite part of the day, too.

[sshawnn]

HOUSING

We have been talking a lot about our living arrangements lately. Again, plans are to be in this community for 6 more years. We were going to wait 6 months after my FIL’s death before saying anything but a frank conversation initiated by the kids spurred an impetuous foray into “are we going to stay in this house?” They conveyed some of their ill feelings of being here but is was hard to attribute what they said as general sadness or sadness aggravated by being in Papaw’s house. We feel some of the latter. We also understand that leaving could aggravate that sadness. Also moving for our or their perceived sadness does not exactly qualify a move. There are many more complicating factors with regard to physical space, and finances. The more we talked, the muddier the water got. The only certainties we are left with are that we are now a family of 5 and Grandmere goes where we go (at this point she would need some assisted living arrangement without us,) no matter what choice B is, the choice A of staying put is less expensive for both financial powers within the house, and moving is a real PIA.

TIME

Not having every minute of each day accounted for has begun to transform my life into what I yearned for previously. The small encounters that were disrespected and plowed under to grab on to the next fleeting moment now are recognized and hold value. At my life's most frantic pace, I had no choice in “what to do next.” In the last two months, boredom has not once crossed my mind but the quiet time in which I can settle and make a plan to embark on the next activity of my choice.....those moments I already cherish. It really is the little things that I was taking for granted that are awakening. I am a better active listener when the kids tell me about their day, I am more comforting when DW needs an ear to lean on. I am generally a better friend because I can meaningfully engage. In no way am I claiming extroversion here, just the ability to more meaningfully engage with those who matter likely as a by-product of not feeling beat up after a day masquerading as an extrovert! Part of “what to do next” has been filled with a bunch of reading. Following along with the book club and reading on the side has been quite enjoyable. The more I read, the more I want to read and it seems the subject matter I want to read about just keeps growing. The only problem I am having with time is quantity not quality. Prioritizing what to learn about next or which new project to tackle is a good problem to have.

DOLLARS

I have not posted numbers in my journal in quite a while. I still track in Mint but do not hover over it as I did previously. DW still happily works her 3 days per week and I am satisfied with my part time contribution. We are saving huge chunks of those made monies. I have a very low tolerance for risking our retirement security (the amount we could withdraw from very conservatively and live now) so our retirement nut is invested very cautiously while any new contributions are steered towards more aggressive investments. We are invested in large funds and currently hold a very small percentage in individual companies. We spend a small fraction of what we did when I started this journal. Our controllable leaks in spending revolve around the kids activities (mostly swim related,) my “hobbies”, and .............food.

PHYSICAL HEALTH and WELL BEING

At some point Jacob made a point with regards to people just continuing doing in retirement what they did in their free time from their regular job (watch TV). In most categories this has not been the case for me but in weight loss and overall fitness, I have done just that. As I have lamented about before, I have not favorably controlled my weight in the last decade. Part time work was ultimately to promote well being. It has been eight weeks now and I have made very little progress(5 or so pounds at current.)

I am not asking for advice or what worked for others. I am very learned in human physiology and an expert in my personal realm. When a difficult or cumbersome action was to be made my grandpa would say something I still reminisce about today. He would say, “Either shit or get off the pot!” That time has come. When I step back and look at the whole picture this is the glaring anomaly that contrasts with the rest of my life plan. Being overweight is a cornerstone of ill health and chronic problems that can and will doom any plans of physical longevity. If ANYBODY knows this it should be me!

There are some activities that are likely on my horizon that demand better fitness. In the past I would incorporate such an activity into the goal of weight loss. That did not work out so well with the Ironman in 2011. I got down to the 220s and as the training lengthened, weight loss became more difficult. I was also cursed with athletic ability to move along pretty well as a fat person. I have been considering a thru hike of the Appalachian Trail, likely in 2015. I will not seriously consider such an endeavor before reaching my goal weight.

I am very active so now that I have truly dedicated myself to the thought process it is fairly simple, burn more than intake. I have been transitioning to and expect to fully embrace the Warrior diet within the week as that will eliminate the grazing that DW says plagues me. Cooking and food is something I enjoy with friends and family. A distinction must be made between eating for pleasure and eating for fuel. Both can still be done, but pleasure eating can not stand alone as it has previously.

I weigh 281. My “fighting weight” is 180. That is some scary math. I will post progress here. Call me out or razz me if I do not or if my progress does not seem adequate.

[GandK]

Good luck, Shawn.

[sshawnn]

I actually gained a few pounds after shooting my mouth off November 6.

Only a bit lighter. Saw 272 but hanging around 274. The cold,snowy weather has plagued me but still getting some exercise in at the Y. My diet is becoming more warrior like with one real meal but snacking still exists.

[spoonman]

Although you shouldn't wait forever to attack the weight problem, I wouldn't beat myself up too bad because it has only been 8-9 weeks! Whatever you do, don't injure yourself while attempting to lose a lot of weight, because if that happens then you will be in a real bind. Just like investing, the beginning of the journey is the hardest part.

[sshawnn]

no real progress....... I keep losing the same 10 pounds.

going to try fitbit viewtopic.php?f=7&t=4415

Hopefully it provides some accountability and consistency.

[sshawnn]

268

Not huge loss, but my body shape is morphing back to thinner.

Played basketball with DS the other day and my knees did not hurt during or after!

The fitbit is really cool. Surprisingly motivating

[GandK]

The fitbit is really cool. Surprisingly motivating

What do you like about it, Shawn?

[sshawnn]

The fitbit with myfitnesspal app gives one great feedback on their body. Think of it as a Mint account for your daily healthful living.

When I consistently use the restful sleep tracking feature and log my food in MFP, there is a plethora of data and trends to sift through.

The friends or community aspect is another good feature. Seeing how your friend's(<10) activity is progressing daily or weekly is motivating as well. I have made laps around the basement before bed before to try and nudge past a friend on a total.

[sshawnn]

Hi

I saw a 249 lbs on the scale the other day!

Some more of the story…… I am bipolar. My diagnosis and treatment has been unravelling the last 4-5 years. Part of why I have come here to say thanks so often is because ERE gave me some very important tools to deal with my life’s biggest challenge thus far. I was (still am from time to time) in a real life shitstorm and ERE allowed me to take the hand I had been dealt and play it in a way that helped relieve one of my biggest fears and life concerns whether manic or depressive—-money and the security it can provide.

The forums gave and still give me perspectives on life that I could never come up with on my own. Again, knowledge gained here is an arrow in the quiver that I am shooting at a chronic disease(s).

I can not tell you how many times I have started this note and never finished it and I do it now with tears. Some people around me know the whole story but most people don't. The very hardest part of opening this Pandora’s box has been accepting to myself and telling others (who don't expect it) what a train wreck my brain can cause sometimes. Through the years I have been a champion hider, masking panic attacks, avoiding situations etc. As I got older, I became less able to deal with those situations, those situations actually intensified because of our families life placement and physical symptoms manifested.

I had never written anything down about myself before I journaled here. I FIRST mentioned the word “bipolar” in my journal in reference to myself when I still believed bipolar people were to avoided like they were lepers! I have many notes and journal entries now. Those notes chronicle the encounters and debacles that are unfolding. (DON'T WORRY There is literally a team of licensed professionals that are helping us out!)

I clicked on the forum to post this link: I guess I got carried away!

http://www.iwilltry.org/b/

[GandK]

Thanks for having the courage to share this, Shawn. Depression is so isolating.

My best to you and your family.

Edit: and good job on the weight loss! It feels great hitting those milestones.