sshawn's journal

[GPMagnus]

Awesome stuff Shawn! Keep it going!

[sshawnn]

@m741 oops! We sold your IN landing pad for road trip 2013. Not to worry. You can couch surf here if you like.
@GPMagnus thanks for reading. Yes we will keep our momentum. There are still some weak points to strengthen.

[sshawnn]

Hey bigato
You are right about property size. Somewhere in one of my farm rants I compared it to owning a large house and filling it with things. The large parcel of land gets filled with things, ideas and eventually maintenance.
You are so right wrt the idealism of independence. When we first bought the place I had dreams of someday homesteading and producing the majority of consumables. The reality is that dream is nearly impossible even if that is all you do and are interested in doing. Eventually I want to have a large bountiful garden that matches the seasons, some fruit trees and berry bushes, and maybe a few chickens. Done well, I think that one could get a terrific output from an acre or so and not have the "farming" take up too much time.
I am happy to hear your advice! Yes it is time to push my health to the front of the line. I remember recently seeing jacob mention routines and that will be the key to healthy living for me. Dependable homemade meals and exercise routines that are built in to life and expected to be the norm make more sense than battling willpower.
Thank you for the great feedback bigato!

[ExpatERE]

sshawnn,
I have not contributed much around here lately, but I'm super happy to hear how much progress you guys have made!! Congratulations and keep up the great work!!

[sshawnn]

Hey expat!
Thanks for checking in on me. Yeah wondered what you have gotten into the last year. Update us! You still in ky/oh/in area?
To all
DW got me started on a couch to 10k plan through an App today. Anyone care to join me? Two years has certainly gone by quick. If you don't use it you indeed lose it! Running in 90 intervals is the most I did on a 30 minute first day.

[sshawnn]

Last Father’s day, my DD gave me a book titled My Dad. His Stories. His Words. Still have not wrote a word in it. I think if i consciously add to this journal, it could be what she might be looking for at about age 25.
As I was running this morning I had a shuffle playlist going and four in a row CA based songs came up. I have been trying to live in the moment more lately and follow my gut so it got me thinking. NorCal has been DW and mine geographical destination of choice. We purposefully pick work related conferences there and generally try to get there any time we can. As I started to grasp ERE ideals it was easy to do from a fellow in the bay area enjoying many of the things I dreamt of. We think we may eventually end up there.
So this morning I started telling her all of the things we would be doing six years from now when the kids are out of High School. She said, “you need to write that down.” OK
We would have a small plot and a small dwelling near Bolinas, CA.
no waking to an alarm
try to grow majority of our food through gardening, fruit trees and bushes and chickens

make bread and baked goods in our masonry oven and maybe sell enough to finance the hobby
continue vermicomposting
DW would have a place for her bees to produce floral aroma honey
have a place to tinker with mechanical things
spend long days on the beach surfing the gentle waves of the area
kayaking in the bay exploring all kinds of nature
cycle up to Mt Tamalpais on a weekday morning when everyone else was working and read a book in the amphitheater
play my drums maybe with other musicians
being that close to the city we could:
go to an occasional Giants game (yeah I know YAY! sports but I hope to have an income stream from “recreational” wagering.)
find a racing sail team to crew with
swim consistently long distances in the cold waters of the bay
continue to purposefully run to keep us young. I think running is a fairly good indicator of overall middle age health. If you are over 40 and can run a few consecutive miles you are probably in pretty good shape!
again taking advantage of the relative geographical location

we would camp in the mountains
snow shoe
snow board
go see Maus
Keep our current licenses and work just enough to stay current if we felt we needed to at that time.
The good part of our lives right now is that we can still enjoy many of the items listed with the company of our children. DW works just 3 days a week and although I am at the hospital 5 days a week it is set hours and evening and weekends are mine. Not a horrible set up while we continue to mindfully accumulate.
Here are some pics of some of the of what we have been up to
part of the flower pot herb garden


Brewing



Experimenting with brew and homegrown honey




Supermoto bike. I have always been a gearhead. The habit got carried away in the spendthrift days on expensive cars etc but I get the same joy wrenching on less expensive follies. This bike was purchased cheaply as it was untitled track bike. I am readying it for a sheriffs inspection to deem it roadworthy to title and ride on the road. If I decide to sell it then it should roughly double my investment as most people are averse to performing the necessary paperwork and the actual preparation of the bike.


baseball team pizza party


Another thing I plan to accomplish in the next week or two is a rain barrel

[spoonman]

Wow, sshawnn, those are some really nice photos. Your FI plans are awesome.
My wife and I have some wanderlust to get our systems, but maybe some day we will settle down somewhere and adopt a plan similar to yours.
NorCal is very charming with all its vegetation and different weather.

[m741]

@sshawn, your life in 6 years sounds pretty good! Do you have to wait six years for it to become a reality?
I'd urge you to start writing in that book ASAP. You never know what could happen. Actually I'd take this journal as a starting point, copy it into a text document, and expand it with more personal details. Then print out a few copies and save the document somewhere accessible online.

[sshawnn]

Thanks for your replies fellows, always appreciate opinions about our story.
I think we that once we "quit" we will never be bored, unhappy or somehow dissatisfied!
Yes we do have to wait. (at least that is plan A) Careful growing of children is one of the most difficult endeavors we face. What we think generally best is to keep them planted in the same school system, same childhood friends etc through high school while still encouraging adaptability. So far, so good.
Aside from geography and maintaining a 40 hour per week gig, my point with the pics was to show that I am still practicing to be a frugal, Renaissance Man.
I have done exactly what you mentioned m741, just going to make it a little more personal. I think it will be very valuable to them some day and be a true show of love.

[sshawnn]

Dying....

DW's dad, who we live with, is dying. As I have mentioned before we swept in to help care for him after his acute heart failure incident 2.5 years ago.

We used our trained, medical knowledge and have kept him at home, safe in a bubble for those 2.5 years. He has had an incredible quality of life for being so sick. Now, he has acute leukemia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_myeloid_leukemia.

With him fully lucid, we had a family meeting about 10 days ago. He decided not more poking or prodding, no more searching for a diagnosis that he was not willing or able to be treated for. Hospice is keeping his pain under control with pharmaceuticals and DW and I are doing the "heavy lifting." He asked that we dont leave him alone anymore. I just chased everyone out of the house and am sitting quietly with him right now. It's not weeks anymore, its a matter of days as he visibly weakens and loses faculties daily.

It is a beautiful, dignified thing that we have orchestrated for him these last couple of years. The situation is still difficult in these last few days. Minlaw losing a mate of 45 years, kids losing the only Papaw they have ever got to know, my wife losing her dad.

If I am to be critical of anything, it is that of the swarms of friends and family that feel they need to come and try to secure one last engagement with him. They come and force themselves into the bedroom he has been sequestered to and too often end up showing that they wish they would have come earlier or more often. (note to my own friends and family, come see me now, not when I am all washed up!) These visits do nothing but make him feel like he has to stay awake for them and it seems DW and I play hall monitor and chase people out far too often.

Others bring food to the door and exit quickly, some just text support. It is all appreciated but I sometimes catch myself saying, "don't feel sorry for us." We have had good, unexpected time with him and I believe we are giving him exactly what he needs and wants in his last days.

Practicing steps to lead us to an extreme early retirement, we are able to provide such support.

[sshawnn]

I agree bigato. That is what I want as well. Working in healthcare I all too often see how bad dying in a hospital can be.

[SkaraBrae]

If I am to be critical of anything, it is that of the swarms of friends and family that feel they need to come and try to secure one last engagement with him. They come and force themselves into the bedroom he has been sequestered to and too often end up showing that they wish they would have come earlier or more often.

My husband's family did this when his grandpa was dying. They held a family reunion and the entire extended family descended upon the nursing home for a couple of hours and was noisy, taking pictures, and just totally disrupting the entire routine. I was embarrassed for them; they were totally oblivious.

I also made a cross-country trip this year to see my own remaining grandparents. One of them shows no signs of stopping any time soon, but the other will be completely gone mentally before much longer and is already almost entirely bedridden. It is a painful process for the family to deal with; especially those who were her caregivers before she had to go to a professional care facility. All her stuff is sitting in my aunt's basement. No one is willing to go through it until Grandma finally passes on. (Not that she's in a state to make sound decisions about what to keep and what not to, but do we really need to keep years old solicitations from charities she once supported? ALL of them? Because that woman gave money to a lot of charities...)

Anyway, kudos to you and your wife for the work you are doing. It's not easy, but I'm sure you know it's much better than the alternative.

[sshawnn]

You nailed it SkaraBrae. They are totally oblivious! Part of me feels a bit sorry for them as it just so obvious to me what is revealed during these visits.

[jennypenny]

{{hugs}}

Time seems to stand still during those last few days. I think it's a gift to everyone involved. It's easy to feel disconnected to everyone else in the world though who's whizzing by at a normal speed while you've stepped out of the continuum.

[sshawnn]

Hey I got those hugs!

It is slow. Just happy that we can keep him comfortable.

[riparian]

Death can be a beautifully intimate time. Good for you for being there and respons-able.

[sshawnn]

riparian you are a gem. That is a very considerate considerate, truthful statement. Your word play affirms our families efforts for the "right" things.....thanks

[Standard Staples]

Yes we do have to wait. (at least that is plan A) Careful growing of children is one of the most difficult endeavors we face. What we think generally best is to keep them planted in the same school system, same childhood friends etc through high school while still encouraging adaptability. So far, so good.

+1

I have a 6 month old, and we plan to have a second child in 2-3 years. We bought our current home specifically because of the location/school system, and we agreed that we would not even consider moving until they're both finished with high school. My dad was in the military, so we moved around a lot until I was in 5th grade. I was fortunate to find a group that I could mesh with once we settled down, but I often wonder what would have been if I was able to make lasting friends from the very beginning. That's something I want my own kids to at least have the opportunity to do. Kudos to you for sacrificing certain goals and giving your children that opportunity, as well.

[sshawnn]

My father in law passed Tuesday July 9. I can only hope to pass with such dignity at home surrounded by the love and compassion of my favorite family members. All are doing well considering that such a great guy was lost.

We will continue to stay in the current living arrangement for at least the short term. I wondered and am still finding out the emotional toll of staying in a place that was built around and for him. This applies mostly to my mother in law, and my wife and kids but I suppose I am affected as well. My job in the reorganization is to clear the garage and home storage space as I see fit. There are still TWO storage units associated with this family and I plan to eliminate paid for storage units shortly. There is a lot of hoarding of trinkets and piddling "stock" that remains. (A lot meaning that I am tempted to rent a small dumpster to be placed in front of the house!) I don't seem to feel as sentimental as the others when clearing this mess! We will begin to assume more of the bills including property taxes and insurance. I will be weighing those cost versus specific regional alternatives.

We still remain self confined to this region for the kids continuity. Despite the ease and the sets of golden handcuffs my FT work currently provides, I find myself to continue to brainstorm different plans. Most of those plans involve recurring temporary or locum tenems coverage. Some of these placements would be close to home, others would require travel. This would allow self planning of work weeks or days and much more real freedom. Being off work for nearly two weeks straight and going back reminded me just how much what I am doing negatively impacts me.

We still drive quite a bit. We had an optimized situation with two small cars and me on the scooter when not transporting others. My mother in law does not want to get rid of the family truck and has gifted me unconditional use of it. I will likely be selling my car and letting the truck provide alternate transport when the scooter or a bicycle is not applicable.

[jennypenny]

I'm sorry for your loss sshawnn. We should all be so lucky to pass like that. He was blessed to have family like you.