Lemur Journal!

Where are you and where are you going?
white belt
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Re: Lemur Journal!

Post by white belt »

I’m in agreement that stimulants are best reserved for special occasions, not daily use. Caffeine does have legitimate performance enhancing benefits, especially when it comes to exercise performance, however a sedentary desk jockey isn’t typically doing any sort of physical activity that would benefit from such boosts in performance.

In the Army I’ve seen people (over)use stimulants, but I’ve also come to understand that there is a time and a place for such things. The nice thing is that if you get off of the daily caffeine habit, on the rare occasion you do need a boost, you can use a very small dose because your body will be so sensitive to it. I drink caffeine occasionally (maybe some tea once a week or so) and have never experienced any withdrawal symptoms.

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Lemur
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Re: Lemur Journal!

Post by Lemur »

Yep - that is where the caffeine addiction started was when I was in the military. Very common for folks to have a monster energy drink in the morning before/after physical training...and sometimes during lunch too haha. I worked in construction so the extra boost was always nice.

But I don't need adrenaline when I'm a sedentary laborer that has multiple meetings a day ....

+1 White belt as well. There may be a time and place where I really need a boost so when that does happen, the stimulant will actually work again. Right now it is definitely just the opposite - I need it to function properly. No bueno.

Off topic to caffeine discussion but saving this link for later reading:
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=10897

I think I joined this forum at level 4, became a level 5, and been stuck there since. Getting to level 6 would be the next step. I have the savings rate % of a level 6er but that is mostly due to an unusual high income and not a 20k spending level. I'll have to read through that whole scale thread - I've only saved the table and not really done a deep dive into that particular discussion.

LiberateMind
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Re: Lemur Journal!

Post by LiberateMind »

Reading your journal from the start today (actually after reading your post on quitting caffeine) , yet to complete.. Wow I am also learning python, machine learning, researching food forest ,calorie counting and weight loss, how to be a individual contributor and be in a specialist track.. and then the personal growth.. lot of similarities to the path I am trying to lead.. oh how did I miss it..

Anyways just wanted to say nice journal and nice of you to share your resources and reading also with us.

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Lemur
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Re: Lemur Journal!

Post by Lemur »

@LiberateMind: Have fun. This journal is getting long.

April 2, 2021

Investments:
Invested - $391,000 (Up $26,500 :shock: . Spy up all-time high will do that)
Cash Savings - $1,000 (Down $4k to pay taxes)
Total - $392,000

Financial - Our net-worth is just increasing exponentially and seeing it in real time from month to month is something I just keep looking forward to. For this particular month, my Spouse had an all-time high for quarterly net income from her business. If she keeps it up, she will actually earn more then me this year which is so damn impressive lol. Meanwhile, despite this large increase in net-worth, I actually have two stocks that are down an almost combined $30k (MAC & NOK). It is initially shocking to see that red ... but then when I do the math it is like ... not even 10% of all the investments...

Current watchlist: Continuing to plow after-tax savings into SPG. Continuing to sell covered calls on NOK/MAC to reduce cost basis and sell CCs on all my other positions and roll when necessary.

Physical Health / Diet: Gained Weight. 187lbs. 2 pounds above my healthy BMI limit. Gotta focus in April. Quitting caffeine made me look for energy/dopamine elsewhere .... namely carbs. I'm getting much better sleep since I quit caffeine cold turkey.

Mental Health: Good for once. Its been crap the past few months. Some normal work stressors but dealing with those as they come.

Job: Far better than last 5 months. I am invested in my new role and so far things are going smoothly but I am seeing new problems that are going to be very difficult to solve since I've never been great at people politics. We also lack resources for my particular product and I'm sort of doing dual roles as not only a PM but also an execution person. Not only my client work is getting tougher, but I also got brought in to help stand up an Artificial Intelligence institute for our firm ... way far above my pay grade and I don't know sh*t about AI but I was just told that my job is to coordinate and lead and we will "find the smart people" to do the technical lifting. Maybe outsource writing to professors at Universities or something. Okay I guess lol. This work is not billable - it is extra duties that all consultants "have" to do to be in good graces of leadership .... especially ones like me who have been here a few years and can't really avoid it at this point without ending up on some list. I figured this can be okay from web of goals standpoint - I get more practice coordinating, helps me make case for promotion (more money), and I may even come across AI tech I wasn't aware of which could enlighten me on investment opportunities. I've never tried up into this point to gun for promotion but we're in an up or out culture so its time now I guess. The good news is the next level up (manager)- one can stay at that level for nearly a decade and many don't make it past that point (the funnel get real narrow). So as long as I can get to that platform I can hang out and hold on till I'm ready to go.

Gardening: Cabbage seedlings died. :? Cold front came through and wiped them out. I guess I started too early. I've other greens that are growing slowly.

Reading / Other: Haven't read much this month. Just been too busy with work but I did want to pick this up at some point: https://www.amazon.com/Switch-Change-Th ... 0385528752

Goal: I succeeded last months goal here: "Don't get fired this month". I failed at this one: "Keep up the recent health eating habits...eating a lot of yogurt and split pea soups. Mostly whole foods." Goal again this month is don't get fired lol. At this point, I'm doing "whatever it takes" to keep the cash flow running in like it has recently....we should eclipse $400k by next months update.

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Lemur
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Re: Lemur Journal!

Post by Lemur »

Started playing tennis every Tuesday with my good friend. Slowly but surely trying to build a life that is outside work. Second week in a row I went for Sunday one hour jogs.

In interesting home life...my younger brother who I've not seen and barely talked to in 5 years and his spouse who I never met plus their son (going on 3), will be moving in with us temporarily next week. My brother's spouse is also pregnant and expecting in May.

Well it was my sister's decision since she owns the home. Not sure how long they will be here but it adds a very interesting dynamic lol. This will be....interesting. Brother and I have some things in common so I'm looking forward to catching up. On the other hand, we don't really get along well. It is more like an armed-distance relationship (like I have with most of my family which is a really long story). Plus it will be nice to have my son have a cousin to play with for a while. This might be a few months or a year ...who knows. The cons is ... obvious. Reduced privacy and my brothers wife is bi-polar. I have never lived with a bi-polar person but apparently they (Brother and his spouse) fight A LOT. And they're financially broke right now (hence why they're moving in)...umm...yeah this is gonna be interesting.

My spouse surely did not sign up for this and she is feeling a bit disrespected my Sister did not talk to us before making this decision. Great...a good thing might be coming to an end. I hope my brother has matured a bit over the years and we can all handle things like adults but I'm not counting on it.

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How-DoesThisSound
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Re: Lemur Journal!

Post by How-DoesThisSound »

Lemur wrote:
Tue Apr 20, 2021 8:21 pm
Started playing tennis every Tuesday with my good friend. Slowly but surely trying to build a life that is outside work. Second week in a row I went for Sunday one hour jogs.

In interesting home life...my younger brother who I've not seen and barely talked to in 5 years and his spouse who I never met plus their son (going on 3), will be moving in with us temporarily next week. My brother's spouse is also pregnant and expecting in May.

Well it was my sister's decision since she owns the home. Not sure how long they will be here but it adds a very interesting dynamic lol. This will be....interesting. Brother and I have some things in common so I'm looking forward to catching up. On the other hand, we don't really get along well. It is more like an armed-distance relationship (like I have with most of my family which is a really long story). Plus it will be nice to have my son have a cousin to play with for a while. This might be a few months or a year ...who knows. The cons is ... obvious. Reduced privacy and my brothers wife is bi-polar. I have never lived with a bi-polar person but apparently they (Brother and his spouse) fight A LOT. And they're financially broke right now (hence why they're moving in)...umm...yeah this is gonna be interesting.

My spouse surely did not sign up for this and she is feeling a bit disrespected my Sister did not talk to us before making this decision. Great...a good thing might be coming to an end. I hope my brother has matured a bit over the years and we can all handle things like adults but I'm not counting on it.
the
Woah, that sounds pretty heavy/hectic. Tennis (which in my experience can be really aggressive (in a good way) combined with the one-hour jog should be a huge relief with that temporary living situation you have going on. Hopefully, you find a silver lining and some mutual ground with your brother. It sounds like you're a bit more grounded than he is. Maybe he and his spouse living with you and your wife will be a bit grounding for him! Best of luck Lemur. Looking forward to keeping up with your journal.

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Lemur
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Re: Lemur Journal!

Post by Lemur »

May 1, 2021

Investments:
Invested - $432,000 (Up $41k)
Cash Savings - $600
Total - $432,600

Financial - Unreal progress for one month but a few catalysts: One of my stocks in the deep red, Nokia, rose 15-20% this month? And I have 8000+ shares of that. MAC also has started recovering. These were the two "memes" I bought in January that tanked immediately after I bought them. Thankfully, I had some good trades selling covered calls and I was able to reduce my cost-basis considerably. Both appear to have bottomed at some point and have started the steady upwards climb. Also my Spouse has continued shoveling money into her Solo 401(k). She has been since beginning of this year fully onboard with just saving as crazy as I do. We're planning our future so much together nowadays because it seems real - will we move out of the United States to her Country Philippines? What will do do with our time after full-time work? Our son - will he be better off in the US going to public education here or going to a private school overseas with other expat kids? Are we sure we even want to leave the U.S. while the money is flowing in like tap water? We went from thinking 5-10 years from now to holy crap we might be at target financial numbers <2 years at this rate... This bull market is insane.

Current watchlist: I stopped selling CCs on MAC/NOK. I think they've bottomed and I am here for the ride. I was assigned 1000 shares of PLTR - selling covered calls probably but earnings are May 11 so I might wait till then to take advantage of high IV. Continuing to plow after-tax savings into SPG.

Physical Health / Diet: I am the same weight but haven't focused too much on that. Just trying to be active and eat generally healthy. I have played a ton of tennis in April and will continue to May.

Mental Health: Good but I do have this existential crisis thing going on. Not a crisis in a bad way - just too many thoughts about the current state of the world and my life and stuff. In fact, a part of me is really looking forward to having my brother here a few months despite our past of not getting along. We've both changed over the past 5 years and became Fathers over the years ... maybe we will have more in common. He is also a neuroscience graduate; a fellow INTJ I believe.

Job: Despite being in a much better position then I was earlier this year, I find work to be that annoying thing I have to do from 9-5pm + some extra hours occasionally. The no fear Lemur continues. My career/job just bugs me now ... it's like a mosquito. I can't shake away this mindset unless I'm deep into some sort of problem / analysis I'm doing that keeps me engaged. I have to rationalize every Monday Morning to find motivation and I still dread every Sunday evening.

Gardening: 1 tomato is growing. I filled up a 50 gallon bucket for compost - just layers of shredded wood from a dead tree and grass clippings. Started tossing in leftover /scrap veggies. I planed all varieties of peppers - jalapeños, yellow peppers, habanero's, bell peppers, etc. I may plant some squash and pumpkin soon but need to prep.

Reading / Other: Really need to get back into reading. I have 1 dose of the COVID vaccine and my local library just recently opened up to allow visitors. Maybe it is time to venture out.

Goal: Funny, my goals have been for months "Don't get fired." That is not a way to think though - they call that "catastrophizing." I don't fear that now. Fire me? Don't tease me with a good time! Unemployment insurance plus investment withdrawal would cover all of our expenses LOL. Hell - I bet our net-worth would just keep climbing fast too; its outpacing any contributions I make...Maybe I'll take a vacation or start that community garden I've always wanted to start. For real though I don't want to get fired in May. We've bonuses coming very soon and would suck to miss that.

On a serious note - about the topic of motivation. Throughout my life, I have always just been motivated by building my wealth so I can escape 9-5 grind. Only a few things came about to help me build my character differently - I started focusing on other goals like workplace skills, project management, health goals etc...but these have had varying rates of success. Also Tennis - my friend is 2-1 on matches haha. I'm the more athletic one but he is beating me through skill.

What are my long-term goals? What do I really really want to do for the next 30+ years of my life. These are important ... wherever we go there we are and it would be silly for me to think that once I quit working I will have eternal happiness and comfort. Should I find something to struggle for?

Afterall ... I like to believe that the purpose of life is a life with a purpose...I am not a nihilist.

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fiby41
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Re: Lemur Journal!

Post by fiby41 »

I like your outcome independence mindset (emotional state which is independent regardless of outcome) on the goals front.

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Lemur
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Re: Lemur Journal!

Post by Lemur »

@fiby41

I've spent some time cultivating that mindset without realizing there is somewhat of a term for that called "The Batman Effect."
https://lsa.umich.edu/psych/news-events ... ermination.

I don't have a full-blown alter-ego per say but something that helps me a lot at work (and reduced my anxiety greatly in the past months) was not seeing my self as "Lemur the employee for client A" but as a literal "Human Resource." Should I fail my current project which is starting to look likely, I won't take things so personally when the job description in the first place called for a human resource with 10+ years of experience as a product manager when this is my first time being a product manager and I've only generally been in the corporate world for 5 years or so lol. I also don't even have a real team and any real authority either due to various politics :?

They get what they pay for but that also does not mean that I am not trying....I may fail this project but the experience has been invaluable that the next lateral move or even a position slightly "lower" than the one I'm doing now is going to be mentally a lot easier to handle because my stress threshold has gained from the position itself.

Kind of like playing an RPG. One doesn't grow by whacking level 2 boars all day but one can gain a lot of experience by taking on an enemy that kills them over and over again. Eventually you'll kill this enemy and then one day you will wonder how that enemy even gave you a problem to begin with.

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Lemur
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Re: Lemur Journal!

Post by Lemur »

Started ripping up all of our cardboard by hand and tossing into compost bin. I didn't know that the ink on most cardboard (for instance like from cereal boxes or something) are non-toxic and mostly vegetable based. This opens up the possibilities a bit.

After much nagging, my sister is letting me Garden in the front yard behind the walkway lol. I'm planting corn, beans, and squash in two small plots. Perhaps over some months / years, I'll convince her to turn that useless front yard into a full blown garden. First the vegetables I'm planting now...then I'll persuade some flowers along the driveway...then a spot way off to the side over that spot no one sees anyway. Next thing you know, whole front yard is a garden haha. For real though - I do not understand this image of just having a front lawn of grass and a white picket fence.

There is one guy in our neighborhood who has quite a few beds in his front yard. Its nice to see. At least one person here in this quite suburb has some personality.

In other news...I've less time to think about my existential crises from work with my brother, sister-in-law, and Nephew living here now. Privacy is of course decreased which sucks...on the other hand, we're getting our social fix lately. It is also neat to have my 5 year old be able to play with another kid. It keeps him occupied and actually helps me focus more during work. I'm generally more exhausted though - my sister-in-law is also pregnant and expecting in a few more weeks which is going to make this dynamic even more busy.

My brother and I get along so much better than I hoped for - yep, turns out we've much more in common and he did turn out to be a lot more mature then we last met 7 years ago! Life matures everyone...Could also be an empathetic thing right? We're both fathers working full-time jobs over the years...there is a mutual understanding and respect. It has also helped that we're both educated and have developed our personalities and interests over the years.

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